ChatteParfaitt
Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline
|
FR:
I want to thank everyone who has participated in this thread, and apologize for not getting back to it sooner. (My weekend was busier than I'd thought it would be.)
I began this thread because I made a comment (calling yourself white could be construed as racism) to a new member, and another (fairly) new member called me on it. That made me do some thinking, and I realized I may have been completely wrong.
I started this thread to get input from others since my professional background has been primarily in the academic and non-profit associate fields; I've been *very* sensitized to things like racism, sexism, etc. The ivory tower is nothing if not politically 'correct.'
First I have to say, I was wrong, it was not a fair statement to make. I *still* think once you show a picture of yourself as white, and check off Caucasian on the drop down box, you don't really need to state that you're white. It's obvious. However, I assumed that statement came from a place of racism when there could have been other reasons for it.
Littlewonder made a very good point:
quote:
As for how many times he mentioned his race in his profile, I again don't see that as a red flag or anything. It just means he may not be very good at writing profiles and doesn't even realize how many times he said it. We see that around here A LOT.
It could be he's proud of his race. If blacks and Hispanics can be proud of their race, so can whites. No race is free of past atrocities by their race. Get over it.
MercTech made this statement:
quote:
ORIGINAL: MercTech
Stating race or ethnic heritage in a profile would be either including all information or an assumption that race does matter to those viewing.
Not racist but making assumptions that may or may not be true.
Now, if you want racist, check for the term "I don't date outside my race" which often pops up on dating websites. No more racist than "seeks BBC" either.
I do see that as having more potential for racism, though as others have pointed out, it could be as simple as preference.
From Spacespank some interesting comments on *intent.*:
quote:
ORIGINAL: SpaceSpank
I think your intent on how you describe yourself is the real factor on that... and that can come across in the writing or not.
If I say I'm a tall white man with brown hair... Does that mean I'm prejudiced against short people, non whites, and those with hair color other than brown?
No, it's a description. So long as that's exactly my intent behind such a thing, there's really no more to it than that.
However, if I am saying I only want ___ subs to contact me (white, back, asian, whatever), there is where things get a bit murky.
It could be a preference sure... but why is a preference? Is it because you honestly do just see people of a particular race as more appealing to you?
Or is it because you're lusting after, or against, a particular stereotype?
Almost every profile I see of a sub looking for a black Dom is looking for a "BBC". The stereo type of the exceedingly hung and aggressive black man. That is certainly racist. Just as racist are those looking for only asian subs, because they have the image of a petite and demure oriental woman who is reserved and respectful.
Many of the blatantly racist profiles are pretty easy to identify, no matter which way they go. But others are not so clear.
From MsMJAY:
quote:
ORIGINAL: MsMJAY
I am black. When meeting me it is the most obvious thing about me so why would it be racist to say what I am? Some people could care less about race. Some are very particular about race. The first time I did an online profile without a pic I had people get angry because they started conversing with me through messages only later to find out I was a black woman. There are a lot of people in the lifestyle who prefer partners of their own race and others who prefer partners of a different race. There are many, many Fetlife groups devoted to this.
Most people still prefer to date inside of their own race. There is nothing wrong with that choice and it does not necessarily make them racist. Its a preference much like my preference to only date submissive men. This lifestyle is built upon people who have very discriminating tastes for who they want as a partner. When meeting people online your profile should give them as much relevant information about yourself as possible; including race. It does matter to a lot of people.
Someone getting angry b/c you didn't tell them up front you were black is something I still perceive as racist. Sure, people want what they want, but why do they want it? You can *say* it's merely personal preference with no racist intent, but I'm going to stand behind my thinking that there is some bias there, though it may be unconscious. Much bias is unconscious.
Humans are actually hugely prejudicial in all kinds of way, and not just about race. There's a reason why the taller man makes more money, why a more attractive person will be more successful in their professional life. Old people, disabled people, gay people, fat people, transgendered people, all are treated to a great deal of bias. I'm not saying everyone is biased against those people, but very many are and often they don't know it.
In any case this has been a very thought provoking discussion which has helped me realize that I am too sensitized in some ways, which is as bad as being racist to me, so I apologize. Now if I can just find the thread that began this whole thing, I should be making my apologies to the new member in private.
Again, thanks for participating. It's one reason why I'm here, to learn more about myself and get my erroneous thinking corrected, and this forum does a great job of that.
_____________________________
|
RE: Do descriptors such as white (or black), make a per... - 
Profile
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread