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RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/10/2014 7:25:31 AM

ChatteParfaitt

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

Slapping outside the bedroom/punishment? That's so not happening.

Some theory here: Your face represents who you are as a person. Striking someone's face can be psychologically damaging since it's a violent rejection or correction of who they are. It's definitely up there with the things that can trigger a nasty emotional mine.

For my own self light slapping I'm okay with. Hard enough to cause injury? No fucking way.

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Post #: 21

RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/10/2014 7:27:44 AM

fucktoyprincess

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Have certainly engaged in it as part of play. I don't engage in S&M in visible ways outside the bedroom, so this would be like any other S&M activity that would be restricted to a private setting. It is generally not something that I've engaged in in public play sessions either. With that said, in any new relationship it is always a soft limit. I don't allow someone to do this until I've gotten to know them very well. I'm not interested in getting injured or walking around with light welts or bruises on my face. I wouldn't trust someone I didn't know well to engage in this (that's just me). So while I've done it, I've done it with maybe two partners.

p.s. edited to clarify that face slapping in any other context outside of play I would view as physical abuse (the same as hitting someone in any way that has nothing to do with play/session). BDSM is not a cover for physical abuse.

< Message edited by fucktoyprincess -- 3/10/2014 7:29:32 AM >

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RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/10/2014 8:15:17 AM

shiftyw

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I love being slapped in the bedroom. I don't like someone to wind up and take my jaw off- but I do really like well controlled slaps. I mean- I don't want a bruise thats going to get me all kinds of questions at work for the rest of the week. It has never been a problem though.
Never ok outside of play for me CERTAINLY not in front of anyone.
As far as why I like it? I just do. It gets me wet. Combined with some hair pulling and a few spankings- I feel it really adds to all that.

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Post #: 23

RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/10/2014 8:27:14 AM

kalikshama

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FR,

My jaw hurts a little today, but not from face slapping - we watched The Secretary last night and I wore a gag the whole time. My jaw has also been sore after lots of cock sucking. Guess I'll have to give up those violent activities

ETA the FR

< Message edited by kalikshama -- 3/10/2014 8:52:32 AM >

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Post #: 24

RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/10/2014 8:28:55 AM

anniezz338

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I've recieved two versions of face slapping. One was with him cupping one side of my head/cheek and slapping the other side. It was just right with a bit of softness and hardness. It was kind of erotic.

And then one time he slapped me without warning pretty hard. By the look on his face, it was done in anger. It was basically the beginning of the end.

Hence, I am not ok with face slapping.

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Post #: 25

RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/10/2014 8:34:45 AM

LafayetteLady

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In my relationships, never. Its not something I care to engage in. But I also lean toward the more mental aspects of D/s so many things are not going to enter my relationship.

For others? If that is part of their agreed dynamic, and it is something they know how to be careful to minimize damage, fine for them. It should never be done in agner or in public. Ever.

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Post #: 26

RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/10/2014 8:35:26 AM

shiftyw

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From: The Shire
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

My jaw hurts a little today, but not from face slapping - we watched The Secretary last night and I wore a gag the whole time. My jaw has also been sore after lots of cock sucking. Guess I'll have to give up those violent activities

Is that really directed at me? or is this an FR?

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 27

RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/10/2014 8:37:33 AM

UllrsIshtar

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

I'm intellectually curious as to how hard one must hit to break bones, etc. In decades of incorporating slapping, I have never suffered any harm, nor have slaps left a mark. Perhaps slaps on the face must be at least hard enough to bruise in order to harm?

(Please note I am talking about face only, and not eyes or ears.)

I've been slapped in the face repeatedly hard enough to cause bruises. I've had bruises both on my cheeks, as well as broken lips and bitemarks on the inside of my mouth because of the force, as well as black eyes.
This has happened dozens of times, and the worst consequence I've ever suffered was when a blow had me land on a coffee table with my face, and the side of my jaw that hit had hairline fractures in the joint.
From there I suffered from TMJ disorders for a while, and could sometimes get to the point where my jaw would start 'popping' with movement, but even that injury has healed now +/-7 years later, and doesn't really bother me anymore.

As far as I can tell, the force needed for causing permanent damage is a lot more than most people would guess, OR the blow needs to really come down in a very unusually unfortunate way (which is not to say that it's safe to hit hard, if you can't control your blow enough to make sure that won't happen).

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RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/10/2014 8:51:14 AM

Missokyst

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Never ok in my world.
I have been slapped one time where I allowed it to happen without repercussions.
Unless I like you those repercussions will be harsh.

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Post #: 29

RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/10/2014 8:54:04 AM

kalikshama

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quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

My jaw hurts a little today, but not from face slapping - we watched The Secretary last night and I wore a gag the whole time. My jaw has also been sore after lots of cock sucking. Guess I'll have to give up those violent activities

Is that really directed at me? or is this an FR?

That was not to you :)

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Post #: 30

RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/10/2014 8:55:44 AM

kalikshama

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Thanks Ish!

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RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/10/2014 8:57:26 AM

kalikshama

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quote:

And then one time he slapped me without warning pretty hard. By the look on his face, it was done in anger. It was basically the beginning of the end.

Did this leave a mark?

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Post #: 32

RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/10/2014 9:09:01 AM

AlexisANew

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Joined: 2/10/2014
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I love giving a measured slap but its obviously consensual. A slap means, 'Im serious, I mean business' and the humbled face of a slapped man is so hawt!

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Post #: 33

RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/10/2014 9:31:06 AM

SeekingTrinity

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From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
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~FRing it~

For me personally, face slapping is never ok at any time. For my guy and I, we both have face slapping on our hard limits list because we both don't like it. In addition I've got some chiropractic problems that flare up on occasion in my neck and shoulders, so it's a risky proposition in general for me.

But I think it's up to each individual person as to what is ok within their dynamic. As long as it's ok for both parties involved, who am I to judge?

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Post #: 34

RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/10/2014 9:51:39 AM

FriendlyMuppet

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Joined: 11/16/2010
From: Corpus Christi, Texas
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I was at a femdom-themed event once (it was to be a weekend of living in a completely female-controlled society, so all of the women present were to be dominant and all males were to be submissive). During the initial ceremony setting off the event, one of the women, who was actually a well-known professional dominant, walked up to each man that was presented (as a new slave to the "compound") and then slapped him. It came out of nowhere, and it was probably, in her mind, a way to show each male that this was not just some play party. To me, I thought it was hot when she came up to me, slapped me across the face and then walked away. Of course, at the exact moment, I was more shocked than anything else. But upon reflection, I totally understood it.

The reason I bring it up is that one of the guys there kind of went into non-sub mode AFTER she slapped him. It didn't happen immediately, but an hour or so later, there was a huge meeting of all of the women to determine what to do about it, because it turned out the guy considered himself a "gladiator sub" rather than a "submissive sub". They decided to just not address it to the general public there (at that time; I was an officer of this group, which is the only reason I found out about it, as they wanted my opinion as they were deliberating about it).

For me, I had zero problem with it. But I could easily see how it might be a completely negative experience for someone else not consenting to the activity, even in an environment that was hailed as "total control" and all sorts of extreme posturing.

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Post #: 35

RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/10/2014 10:17:15 AM

Ravensnake

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Not in public. Anywhere else is fine. Essential part of rough sex.

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Post #: 36

RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/10/2014 12:10:36 PM

FrostedFlake

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

There are a number of small bones, easily broken. There are several teeth, ditto. The jaw can be easily dislodged. And there after might not work the same. The neck, ditto, and ditto. A blow to the ear can deafen. Clinically, not metaphorically. And of course, there are the eyes, and perhaps the eyeglasses.

Hitting someone in the face says that you don't care about any of this. That says you don't care. That is all there is to know. Except, perhaps, why hitting the face is interesting, when there are so many better choices. Better in the sense they have more to do with sex and less to do with vandalism.

I'm intellectually curious as to how hard one must hit to break bones, etc. In decades of incorporating slapping, I have never suffered any harm, nor have slaps left a mark. Perhaps slaps on the face must be at least hard enough to bruise in order to harm?

(Please note I am talking about face only, and not eyes or ears.)

This is one of those questions that have no particular answer. Because how is more important than how hard. Personally, I am much more interested in how hard it is to fix the damage that you seem to feel can't happen to you.

Whatever. To each they own. I'm sure it's all very kinky.

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Post #: 37

RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/10/2014 1:19:17 PM

kalikshama

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I was careful to disclaim that I don't consider "face" to include eyes (or ears):

quote:

(Please note I am talking about face only, and not eyes or ears.)

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Post #: 38

RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/10/2014 1:26:49 PM

myotherself

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~FR~

We do it, occasionally. He doesn't slap hard, but it stings. Sometimes my cheek is slightly pink afterwards. We find it incredibly hot in the bedroom and I find it incredibly calming and centering outside the bedroom (but not in front of others).

It's no biggie, in the grand scheme of things.

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Post #: 39

RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/10/2014 1:31:06 PM

kalikshama

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ps - I've been punched in the nose in anger, which cracked a bone, required an emergency room visit, and led to two black eyes. It was very different from the consensual face-slapping I've rec'd over the years. I do know the difference between violence and consensual BDSM.

If face slapping isn't your thing, that's fine, but as someone who has experienced domestic violence, I'm offended when people call consensual face slapping violent as if it were the same as domestic violence. Risky, sure. How risky is what I am trying to ascertain, because I do believe in being risk aware.

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Post #: 40

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