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RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/10/2014 6:08:33 PM   
FrostedFlake


Posts: 3084
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From: Centralia, Washington
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

ps - I've been punched in the nose in anger, which cracked a bone, required an emergency room visit, and led to two black eyes. It was very different from the consensual face-slapping I've rec'd over the years. I do know the difference between violence and consensual BDSM.

If face slapping isn't your thing, that's fine, but as someone who has experienced domestic violence, I'm offended when people call consensual face slapping violent as if it were the same as domestic violence. Risky, sure. How risky is what I am trying to ascertain, because I do believe in being risk aware.

Disclosure : My dear old Dad was an actual killer and convicted domestic felon. Point : In 17 years of more or less constant low grade fear punctuated with special occasions, I cannot recall him going for the face, except while in an actual fight. Conclusion : Domestic violence may be another topic. I believe I put forward my view of the risks. And it is true I said I don't think it's that great an idea.

So, there we are.

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RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/10/2014 6:16:21 PM   
pg4g


Posts: 296
Joined: 12/31/2013
From: Australia
Status: offline 		I've never been slapped, and if a guy did to me, I'd find it demeaning and degrading, something I am never into.

I have been punched in the face while shackled to the ground, and had my eyebrow gouged into with a knife so he could sew it up and see his fighter under his control. And I gotta admit I loved that. Most face play I wouldn't try, and with a woman I'd see it as a hard limit as a dom (if I were to swing that way) simply because a face is precious to a woman.

[Edited to fix wording]

< Message edited by pg4g -- 3/10/2014 6:18:45 PM >

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RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/10/2014 6:19:47 PM   
Blonderfluff


Posts: 2253
Joined: 10/9/2013
From: Down the Shore
Status: offline 		Hmmm. For me, I'm very funny about my face. No choking. EVER. No face slapping. EVER. I have never really delved into why, I just know it's instant anger and complete shutdown.
I do looove hair pulling.

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RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/10/2014 6:25:41 PM   
Whippedboy


Posts: 61
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline 		It's appropriate if you both think it is. Just like every other freaking thing on here.
Had a GF who was switch and she LOVED getting slapped during sex.
Had a Domme who slapped me twice outside the bedroom. Once in a restaurant and once in a department store. Not hard but definitely a slap.
Definitely got my attention as well as the waitress and the sales girl, respectively. Also, it was FREAKING HOT!
Loved it!
OK, I'm not a female but the girl who did like it said she liked it because it made her feel helpless, under control. And she liked it hard.

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RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/10/2014 6:40:40 PM   
TieMeInKnottss


Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline 		In the bedroom...It turns me on..I like VERY rough sex play and would say, short of actually punching me, face slapping, hair pulling, throwing me, pinning me down...all good BUT.and this is probably what you want to know..there is a "safety" involved. This type of play can only be enjoyed when you have no real fear of the other person. Outside of a sex play environment ...the safety and security are gone and you are dealing with someone who is angry or acting violently and I would react to that.

Now, the 3rd option which you don't ask about is physically violent, consensual interaction. Outside of sex...and that can arouse me also. I used to competively Muay-Thai kick box..when I was fighting a guy I would often find myself highly aroused by the end of the match.

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RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/10/2014 6:48:08 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FrostedFlake

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

ps - I've been punched in the nose in anger, which cracked a bone, required an emergency room visit, and led to two black eyes. It was very different from the consensual face-slapping I've rec'd over the years. I do know the difference between violence and consensual BDSM.

If face slapping isn't your thing, that's fine, but as someone who has experienced domestic violence, I'm offended when people call consensual face slapping violent as if it were the same as domestic violence. Risky, sure. How risky is what I am trying to ascertain, because I do believe in being risk aware.

Disclosure : My dear old Dad was an actual killer and convicted domestic felon. Point : In 17 years of more or less constant low grade fear punctuated with special occasions, I cannot recall him going for the face, except while in an actual fight. Conclusion : Domestic violence may be another topic. I believe I put forward my view of the risks. And it is true I said I don't think it's that great an idea.

So, there we are.


I went to an Impact demo at the Fetish Factory's Memorial Day extravaganza two years in a row. A guy hooks up his women to a St. Andrews cross, puts on boxing gloves, and starts punching her. While I know intellectually she is not being abused, my brain has a hard time not processing it as abuse.

Face slapping carries a lot of psychological juice.

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RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/10/2014 9:00:29 PM   
MissImmortalPain


Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		How much does it take to break things? Starting with the jaw...more than you might think. You have to take into consideration things like age. Bones are strongest from around the ages of about 18 to 33. Both before and after that it becomes easier to break bones. The force used to break a persons jaw...with a slap? Believe it or not isn't likely to be done. Now don't get me wrong I'm not saying it can never be done, people have broken their own jaws while eating but keep in mind that the average bite pressure is between 2840 to 4270 psi. Most people attempting to break another persons jaw will break their own hand first (smaller bones and more of them in the hand) So roughly eight lbs. per square inch. That may not seem like much but it is more than you might think. Personally I have had my jaw fractured and the person that did it hit me with a hammer.
Retinal detachment......A little harder to give a straight number on pressure because a lot of things can cause it. Retinas can detach do to high blood pressure or infection of some form (Exudative detachment) Rhegmatogenous detachment is the most common type, caused by age. Tractional detachment usually occurs because of some type of eye trama (and if it makes you feel any better Frosted) this type is not like to be recovered from.
Nose....Weirdly enough it takes about 13lb. of pressure to break a nose. Commonly done by being punched and again unless the person doing it has some idea of how it is unlikely that they will.
If you do it or not is up to you but a bit of advice from me (take it or leave it if you want) If you want to slap someone, if you know what that wonderful little rush feels like, amp it up a bit and next time tell that person to stand infront of you. Hold their chin in your hand and aim for the back of your thumb. You get the same tickle, tingle, fun feeling, but you will also know exactly how hard you just hit the other person and then can learn to control how hard you swing and where you aim.

(I have no idea what happened to my first post, my phone is crazy and at most of it. Hope this helps.



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It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

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RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/10/2014 9:20:08 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		It's not okay for me because I have implants in both eyes. Any eye trauma will most likely result in irreparable blindness. Hell, I had a floater in one eye a couple of years ago and had to rush over to be checked as even that can cause problems.

It's a pity because I find the idea very hot. But I don't find the risk to be worthwhile.

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RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/10/2014 9:30:52 PM   
MissImmortalPain


Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		I would like to point out that you should be patted on the back for knowing the risks and how they would affect you, Des. The only issues I have had over the years with a lot of different bdsm activities is that people don't take into consideration what it will do to them. I knew a girl a couple of years ago who had eye issues as well but loved the idea of being slapped. She would get so upset because I wouldn't slap her hahaha I "fixed" the matter for her by putting my hand under her jaw and then slamming my other hand (flat palm) against the wall next to her head. It scared the bejezzers out of her but didn't do her any harm. It is always a good idea to know the dangers and to be honest with the person you are playing with. It just really doesn't get stressed enough.

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

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RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/10/2014 9:33:31 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		It was made pretty obvious to me when I was told point blank that I couldn't play tennis without safety goggles. My surgeon's a great believer in 'scared straight', so to speak.

But if a floater can cause blindness, there's no way I could believe that actual trauma wouldn't.

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Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/10/2014 9:58:29 PM   
slavekate80


Posts: 362
Joined: 7/4/2013
Status: offline 		FR: this depends on what the couple or group has agreed on.

For me specifically, it's always okay unless we're in a situation where other people would be made uncomfortable by it without their consent. Example: most restaurants. Still ultimately up to my partner whether or not he's going to do it, but I probably wouldn't be with someone who was that careless; he could get himself into big trouble.

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RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/10/2014 11:41:36 PM   
rokkman7456


Posts: 50
Joined: 2/25/2013
Status: offline 		I like face slapping, it is one of the most physical demeaning things for me. I like it very hard, my ex wife was a 6 foot nordic blonde and she would slap the hell out of me during sex .My current is a little 5 ft thing but 2 weeks ago she let me have it. harder the better I think. She has slapped me in public, I love it. This little women reaching up and correcting m in public is a rush. To each there own

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RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/11/2014 12:34:03 AM   
epiphiny43


Posts: 688
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline 		A distinction needs to be made between breaking a jaw and damaging either side TMJ joint. Which is one hell of a lot easier than busting the jaw bone. It's also remarkably more difficult to cure than a simple broken jaw. Ask any of those many people who haven't had a satisfactory resolution to TMJ issues, or any surgeon working with TMJ damage.
But you kids have a Good time!

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RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/11/2014 9:45:43 AM   
MissImmortalPain


Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		Trauma to the jaw or temporomandibular joint plays a role in some TMJ disorders. But for most jaw joint and muscle problems, scientists don’t know the causes. Because the condition is more common in women than in men, scientists are exploring a possible link between female hormones and TMJ disorders.

For many people, symptoms start without any obvious reason.

Epiphiny could you explain exactly what it takes to cause tmj/tmd?

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It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

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RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/11/2014 10:08:31 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		The only definitive qualifier on when it is ok or not ok would be the intent of the act and the corresponding response it brings from the act. I do face slapping and it only happens as a part of our play. But it is part of the play that I just don't jump into. It is only recently that I introduced face slapping on Danille. It was intense for her and definitely sent her for a bit of a ride. But she is not worse for wear because of it. Alandra was the first person I ever did a face slap on. She loves it! It puts her into an immediate zone like flicking a switch.

There is a lot of things we do that is rather edgey to our nerves and senses. But sometimes those same things give others a lot of pleasure and gratifications. I am sure their is a lot of people that abhor the idea of flogging, canes and whips on to a person. Does that mean it is harmful and we should stop doing it? To me the acts of what we do is of no significant importance. But the intent of why we do it and the gratifications that we gain from them does matter to me.



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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/11/2014 10:30:47 AM   
theshytype


Posts: 1600
Status: offline 		FR-

As someone who has a TMJ disorder (my discs have worn down and slipped slightly out of place due to excessive teeth grinding) I can tell you doing nothing or something as simple as eating sometimes freaks me out, worried that one day I'll have to walk into the hospital on account of lockjaw.
A slap across the face does not freak me out. It may help that I'm not into a full-force smack.

It's all about knowing our individual risks and reasons behind doing something. If its worth it to the individual, for whatever reason, then it's worth it.

I think boxing is one crazy sport, but I'm not the one in the ring.

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RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/11/2014 2:01:27 PM   
epiphiny43


Posts: 688
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline 		Note that boxers and other martial 'artists' almost all wear mouthpieces during matches or even serious workouts with face impacts a risk. A properly fitted mouthpiece greatly reduces the forces through the TMJ joints, transferring them to the upper jaw instead.
What does it take to damage a TMJ? Any damage to the actual bones at the joint or the membranes between or the tendons and muscles stabilizing the TMJ and working the jaw as it pivots on the TMJ. Individual sensitivity to trauma there varies widely, angle of forces through the joint seems a hugely unpredictable but critical factor. Some joints survive impacts that bust a jaw into several pieces, other joints are life altering complications from impacts that didn't really cause an impact bruise. It's like a dice game, only instead of losing money, you can lose eating normally again. Or not being in pain again. Odds aren't high, the costs are. Do you feel lucky?

Detached retinas are a whole other mess. The biggest risk is that those seriously vulnerable to the disaster are usually totally unaware they have high risk factors unless it has happened to family members. That education is very unpleasant.

< Message edited by epiphiny43 -- 3/11/2014 2:03:57 PM >

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RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/11/2014 2:08:18 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		Fast Reply

It's ok when he decides it's ok. Whether in play or to catch my attention. And like Lady Pact said, that does t mean it's done in anger, or violent.

It brings an intense reaction in me, either way. It doesn't happen often. As for in the bedroom or out, I think he's done it in the kitchen... :)

My last owner slapped a lot. And hard. Worst that happened there was a dislocated jaw a couple times, no marks, never near the eyes.



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RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/11/2014 7:15:40 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ARIES83

Not ok? When is it not ok in your opinion?
Ok? When is it ok in your opinion?

Some women like being slapped around in the bedroom. If this is you can you explain why.
I'd like to define the nature of the attitudes I've been finding surrounding face slapping.




For us, it's always ok. Sometimes he slaps me because it turns us both on. Other times, he slaps me if he's upset with me or wants to get my attention about something. The difference is in how hard the slap is and his attitude with it.

Even before I met him, I enjoyed slaps in and outside of the bedroom. But for me, I was never the inside the bedroom only type of person.


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RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... - 3/11/2014 7:27:47 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		FAST REPLY

Put me in the category of I always thought the idea was HOT!! But reality wasn't.

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