Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: What do subs or slaves seek in a Master


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: What do subs or slaves seek in a Master Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: What do subs or slaves seek in a Master - 3/29/2014 12:33:40 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		You're welcome.

So, some other traits that are important to me.

Being consistent is a biggie. I want to know that if it was okay for me to do XYZ yesterday that it's still
okay for me to do XYZ today. I don't like things sprung on me so as to 'catch' me
through manipulated ignorance. Tell me straight up what it is you want/don't want and allow my
obedience to your directives come naturally through submission because you know that being
disappointing to you is harsh on my soul. Setting me up for failure is going to guarantee that the
relationship will fail. (Speaking ONLY for myself.. which is the truble with questions like the one you
asked.. it's just so subjective to each individual.)

Being transparent is important to me. If you don't show me who you are, answer my questions
about your likes and dislikes and allow me to observe you and your reactions to things, the way you speak to people.. how can I ever serve you well or faithfully and
with the loyalty you will have from me if you don't let me see who you really are. Let down all the
masks for me or be satisfied with only having your mask served instead of your true self.

Be the sort of man who attracts the woman you want without compromising who you really are and the
Master will flow naturally from that.. even if you never had a mentor.

You have to be comfortable calling me on my shit. I'm a clever little minx and if you can't take the whip
out of my hand, I'll beat you with it. I'm switchy-bi that way and I like it. I just like it 'better' when the
whip isn't in my hand but I'm comfortable and happy when it is because, like many of my ilk, I'm a
control freak.. and I don't do well in relationships where there is no well-defined leader. If I offer the
reigns and you take them.. then control the horses, savvy?

Okay.. this is getting to the tl/dr stage so I'm going to stop for now, but realize, I'm just one woman and
the traits I listed appeal to 'me' and may not to anyone else.

Hope that helps!









_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to HEADASSASSIN)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: What do subs or slaves seek in a Master - 3/29/2014 12:50:01 PM   
GoddessManko


Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline 		Uhm I had my first sub before I knew what sex felt like or even the definition of what we were doing, LOL. At the time it was roleplay though. My second sub I had for about 10 years.
We explored a lot together. I think most terms and activities I googled then tried until things sort of became fluid. I had many playmates over the years and finally had to uncollar my sub.

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to HEADASSASSIN)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: What do subs or slaves seek in a Master - 3/29/2014 2:29:21 PM   
ARIES83


Posts: 3648
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: ARIES83






You know, I'm not even Gorean, but I think you just won the internet. If you could duplicate that and change the word "Gorean" to "leather", I would love to have that for My files.



I'll do you one better LP.
And teach you how to fish, but beware! With great power comes great responsibility...
I think you're ready.
https://imgflip.com/memegenerator

_____________________________

530 DAYS

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: What do subs or slaves seek in a Master - 3/29/2014 2:31:08 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HEADASSASSIN

i am sorry i ever posted this question on here since it is turning out to be like every other forum i ever posted in more of a make me look like a fool then a actual discussion or effort to help someone understand what subs or slaves are looking for these days

thank you to everyone who made my first and possibly last post on the boards so non enjoyable

Someone suffers from flounce fail :-)

That said, OK-I'll outline the reasons behind my comment. Elucidate if you will.
Every slave is going to be looking for something different based on needs/personalities/fetishes/sexual drivers.
Painting with a broad brush, over the years I've found most gals like a man who's firm but fair,confident without being an overweaning asshat, capable of listening, secure in themselves and what they want, capable of articulating their desires, be honest, ethical, trustworthy and possessed of a certain intangible leadership qualities.
You might note I mentioned zip about sex, fetishes, toys, whips or any other nonsense.
That shit will come if the connections right. Fuck, do the job right, she'll come crawling and beg for those things.
Tying this to my original comment, after 23 years I'd expect a dom to know it's the intangibles that count. It's not, well unless you look like Brad Pitt and have money like Bill Gates, the physical only fantasy.
Dang, it took me only two or three relationships to figure out the best way to get respect was to be worthy of it. And I was blasted out of my mind on Bolivian Marching powder and Johnie Walker Blue the whole time.
Besides which, and you have to trust me here, I was exactly the most empathic of peeps at that age.
23 years, many interactions, how could one not know that?
This is like base shit. BDSM 101 stuff, things almost anyone that actually practices the stuff knows mucho rikki tikk.
Cut it any way you want, in the end, it's just a relationship, meaning its built around the same roots of what every relationship is built round, love, trust, respect, consideration (Hah!), empathy, friendship and caring.

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to HEADASSASSIN)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: What do subs or slaves seek in a Master - 3/29/2014 2:33:53 PM   
ARIES83


Posts: 3648
Status: offline 		Good posting Bita, I'm glad to see you around the place!

_____________________________

530 DAYS

(in reply to ARIES83)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: What do subs or slaves seek in a Master - 3/29/2014 2:44:52 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HEADASSASSIN

i am sorry i ever posted this question on here since it is turning out to be like every other forum i ever posted in more of a make me look like a fool then a actual discussion or effort to help someone understand what subs or slaves are looking for these days

thank you to everyone who made my first and possibly last post on the boards so non enjoyable


If EVERY OTHER forum you ever posted in turned out to be the same, then there is one constant there, and that would be YOU.

Dude, you're a guy, you have to attract women, submissive women are still women, they aren't just "submissive" to anybody, you need to really invest a bit of work, I mean you wouldn't walk into a bar and expect women to come over to you and ask you what's your pleasure, you profile is blank, so it says nothing about what you got to offer them part from looking for 24/7, how about hobbies, personality, non kinky stuff, then throw in a bit of kink as well but don't lead with the kind. A BDSM relationship is not that different from a vanilla relationship, it involves people, feelings and yeah, additionally kink or BDSM.

If you can't be bothered to fill out a profile, why would a woman assume you are bothered about her and what she wants?

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to HEADASSASSIN)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: What do subs or slaves seek in a Master - 3/29/2014 3:03:52 PM   
subbibear


Posts: 46
Joined: 3/2/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HEADASSASSIN

I am a Master of over 23 years experience and I seek a sub or slave to become my true one.

My question is what qualities and traits do subs or slaves look for to find the right Master or Dom for them


Qualities and traits I look for in a Dominant include but are not limited to:

Honesty: Without it there is no basis for trust and without trust there is no basis for any relationship with me.
Ethics: Ethics are what we do when no one is looking. Again, without solid ethics trust is virtually impossible to establish.
Forgiveness: We forgive not for others but for ourselves, without it bitterness will consume us.
Self Control: How can she/he possibly be expected to be dominant to me without it?
Cleanliness: I got no issue with being expected to do the housework, but personal hygiene is a deal breaker.
Forthrightness: Letting issues build up is just plain unhealthy. Lets get it out, deal with it and move forward like adults.
Altruism: Both sides of the slash have to be willing to make sacrifices.
Shared Cultural Touchstones: Over the years I have found this just makes things run smoother in any relationship dynamic.
Natural Leadership Qualities: If it feels forced or fake to me then it just isn't going to work out.
Empathy: My Dominant needs to be able to feel where I am at and understand it. I am not asking for a mind reader here.
Sensuality: I am not particularly masochistic, so I am generally looking for less that highly sadistic Dominants. Sensual play is hot.
Creativity: They don't have to be an artist, but our play needs to be evolving and creative over time.
A Voracious Appetite For New Information: If they are not ready to learn new things pretty much all the time it ain't gonna last.
Intelligence: I don't care about degrees or education level, can you keep up your end of the conversation? Bored sub is bad.
Compassion: If you can kick a dog or a man when he is down, we ain't gonna work.
Tolerance: If marriage equality seems unreasonable to you, we ain't gonna work.

That is a set of the basics. I hope you find this helpful.


(in reply to HEADASSASSIN)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: What do subs or slaves seek in a Master - 3/29/2014 3:11:59 PM   
ARIES83


Posts: 3648
Status: offline 		That list....
Is AWESOME!

_____________________________

530 DAYS

(in reply to subbibear)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: What do subs or slaves seek in a Master - 3/29/2014 3:33:53 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		subbi, now if you'd be straight and I wouldn't be married, that list might make me propose ;)

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to ARIES83)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: What do subs or slaves seek in a Master - 3/29/2014 4:20:19 PM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		Having read through the entire thread, I don't recall any mention by the OP of him having any real time experience, other than mentoring.

I would like to know how many 'in person' relationships, if any, has the OP experienced.

_____________________________

In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

(in reply to HEADASSASSIN)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: What do subs or slaves seek in a Master - 3/29/2014 5:15:56 PM   
HEADASSASSIN


Posts: 34
Joined: 2/10/2012
Status: offline 		Around 15 actually

(in reply to MsLadySue)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: What do subs or slaves seek in a Master - 3/29/2014 5:23:09 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HEADASSASSIN
Around 15 actually

OK. Now we've got something to work with.

How did you meet those fifteen people and what worked for you? Why did they want to be with you? What qualities made you the better guy to be with than Joe Blow down the street?

See? You really did know the answer to your question.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to HEADASSASSIN)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: What do subs or slaves seek in a Master - 3/29/2014 5:30:50 PM   
HEADASSASSIN


Posts: 34
Joined: 2/10/2012
Status: offline 		Honestly I was introduced to them thru other subs and slaves and they liked that I was protective and caring and blunt

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: What do subs or slaves seek in a Master - 3/29/2014 5:33:02 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HEADASSASSIN

Honestly I was introduced to them thru other subs and slaves and they liked that I was protective and caring and blunt



So now you are having a profile that stands alone, nobody introduces you, it's stuff you NEED to put into your profile, among a ton of other stuff

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to HEADASSASSIN)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: What do subs or slaves seek in a Master - 3/29/2014 5:33:50 PM   
HEADASSASSIN


Posts: 34
Joined: 2/10/2012
Status: offline 		I need to put this out there I am sorry for popping my cork on some of you who were trying to help I have been treated like crap on other forums on other sites and I guess I just went into full defense mode when people seem to be attacking me

Again I am sorry for my actions and any disrespect I may have done

(in reply to HEADASSASSIN)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: What do subs or slaves seek in a Master - 3/29/2014 5:37:29 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		Maybe being a bit less defensive and just trying to think how you would feel if you'd be the target audience would help? Or imagine somebody close to you (sister, friend, etc.) is submissive and what you would tell her to look for....

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to HEADASSASSIN)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: What do subs or slaves seek in a Master - 3/29/2014 6:05:31 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HEADASSASSIN
I need to put this out there I am sorry for popping my cork on some of you who were trying to help I have been treated like crap on other forums on other sites and I guess I just went into full defense mode when people seem to be attacking me

Again I am sorry for my actions and any disrespect I may have done

Hey, don't sweat it. In case you haven't noticed, I'm kind of blunt, too.

If I were you, I'd be taking some of the suggestions that have come through the thread. Definitely fill out the profile. You're a seller in a buyer's market, so you want that thing working for you. When you email women on this site, they are going to want to read about you.

Also, if you can and/or you're comfortable with it, take Caneman's advice about going to that group he mentioned. From what you're saying here, you are already really familiar with how networking has benefited you in the past. Let it work for you, again.

As an aside, we're not bad folks, either. You might actually end up liking some of us.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to HEADASSASSIN)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: What do subs or slaves seek in a Master - 3/29/2014 6:23:28 PM   
bowedB4Women


Posts: 45
Joined: 2/7/2014
Status: offline 		A strong, caring woman. With a strong mind and hand, but not out for my destruction, also values me, and the relationship, the relationship is a role reversal essentially with added kink..

--------------------

I told you Women rule!


---------------------

< Message edited by bowedB4Women -- 3/29/2014 6:39:56 PM >

_____________________________

"He needed the hand on his shoulder, the kiss to his temple and the hot, breath of his Mistress over his face."Casey K. Cox

(in reply to crazyml)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: What do subs or slaves seek in a Master - 3/29/2014 6:50:51 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Having been in the services, I'm sure you've had superior officers who you obeyed while having contempt for, and those who you truly respected.

Same here. It isn't about barking out orders. It's about being someone who inspires others to follow him.

You talk about aftercare. You don't say a word about integrity, intelligence, compatibility, communication skills or relationship skills.

What I get from what you say, and from your profile, is that you're looking for a fuck buddy.
You need all the rest of it to have a fulfilling relationship where you're both happy.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to HEADASSASSIN)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: What do subs or slaves seek in a Master - 3/29/2014 6:56:22 PM   
HEADASSASSIN


Posts: 34
Joined: 2/10/2012
Status: offline 		I updated my profile I will accept advice but please just advice from now ok

It is hard for me to voice my thoughts to people so if I come off rude I am sorry again

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 60
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: What do subs or slaves seek in a Master Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109