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RE: Definitive Answer - 1/9/2015 7:09:37 AM   
LiveSpark


Posts: 808
Joined: 12/25/2014
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko


quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark

Sorry about that maybe I should put a warning at the top of my posts lol. The sad part is that he isn't the worst out there. I was new at the time and he did great things to help me. Far worse actually is that he's married (that part he told me) and - as I found out far too late - she doesn't have a clue he's doing this. This to me is the far more important lie and something I hope he has stopped doing though I doubt it since he isn't even honest about his age.


Haha, no need, I enjoy these kinds of exchanges. The marriage part is extremely common among men who seek online for relationships. Seeking online to me should be a last resort no matter the circumstance because it definitely is "needle in a haystack". But if you have a good screening process (we all need one) because the internet is such a free for all. It gets so bad that you find people telling you to compromise on your core values to be unhappily coupled rather than blissfully uncoupled. Even really great guys can have everything right but ONE THING way wrong, which has been the case for me rather than walking into a trainwreck.


I don't mind looking online and since I'm exhausted by the time work is done it's easier. I just don't automatically believe what I read/hear until we've met offline. Til then I'm doubtful. I would rather be single than settle. Somewhere out there is the one I'm looking for; I'll wait til I find him. What I'm looking for is non-negotiable I've finally learned not to settle. That said if the one thing wrong is minuscule or tiny it wouldn't be a deal breaker. But the major things are.

_____________________________

I've been here as MontrealPhoenix, zephyr and
TheFireWithinMe.

I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.

If you fall I'll always be there to catch you ~ Floor

(in reply to GoddessManko)
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RE: Definitive Answer - 1/9/2015 8:07:54 AM   
littleladybug


Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark



I just don't automatically believe what I read/hear until we've met offline. Til then I'm doubtful.


For me, one of the biggest things is the "house test". He can *tell* me he's single all he wants-- it's not until I see his house that I believe him (or not).

IMO, meeting online is the same as meeting anyone where you don't have a group of common friends or acquaintances. Essentially, you are "flying blind" until you get to know the person. And, even then, it can be a crap shoot.



(in reply to LiveSpark)
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RE: Definitive Answer - 1/9/2015 8:16:29 AM   
LiveSpark


Posts: 808
Joined: 12/25/2014
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug


quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark



I just don't automatically believe what I read/hear until we've met offline. Til then I'm doubtful.


For me, one of the biggest things is the "house test". He can *tell* me he's single all he wants-- it's not until I see his house that I believe him (or not).

IMO, meeting online is the same as meeting anyone where you don't have a group of common friends or acquaintances. Essentially, you are "flying blind" until you get to know the person. And, even then, it can be a crap shoot.





Absolutely! However even then it's still possible they are in a relationship but don't live together. There is no 100% guarantee which is why I'm working on not falling so hard so fast.

_____________________________

I've been here as MontrealPhoenix, zephyr and
TheFireWithinMe.

I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.

If you fall I'll always be there to catch you ~ Floor

(in reply to littleladybug)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: Definitive Answer - 1/9/2015 8:17:45 AM   
littleladybug


Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark


Absolutely! However even then it's still possible they are in a relationship but don't live together. There is no 100% guarantee which is why I'm working on not falling so hard so fast.


Oh, for sure. That's where the random contacting during the day and evening comes in.

(in reply to LiveSpark)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: Definitive Answer - 1/9/2015 8:19:48 AM   
LiveSpark


Posts: 808
Joined: 12/25/2014
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug


quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark


Absolutely! However even then it's still possible they are in a relationship but don't live together. There is no 100% guarantee which is why I'm working on not falling so hard so fast.


Oh, for sure. That's where the random contacting during the day and evening comes in.



I'm ashamed to say I hadn't thought of that. I'll file it away for future use. Thanks!

ETA: This is all exactly why I won't get involved with someone who lives far from me. It's far too easy to lie about well everything. Live and learn.

< Message edited by LiveSpark -- 1/9/2015 8:39:27 AM >

_____________________________

I've been here as MontrealPhoenix, zephyr and
TheFireWithinMe.

I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.

If you fall I'll always be there to catch you ~ Floor

(in reply to littleladybug)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: Definitive Answer - 1/9/2015 10:30:36 AM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug


quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark


Absolutely! However even then it's still possible they are in a relationship but don't live together. There is no 100% guarantee which is why I'm working on not falling so hard so fast.


Oh, for sure. That's where the random contacting during the day and evening comes in.



I'm ashamed to say I hadn't thought of that. I'll file it away for future use. Thanks!

ETA: This is all exactly why I won't get involved with someone who lives far from me. It's far too easy to lie about well everything. Live and learn.


You got that right, for sure

needles

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I deserved better. Not than you, but from you.

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RE: Definitive Answer - 1/9/2015 10:40:08 AM   
Bhruic


Posts: 985
Joined: 4/11/2012
From: Toronto, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant


quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko


quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

Why in the hell else would you want to know their height, weight and marital status if not for a hook up?


I sometimes cannot understand slang words in their context. Do you mean to bother meeting them?


If you are only interested in a plutonic relationship, why would height, weight, and marital status matter?


I had a plutonic relationship once... but the radiation burns were intolerable :)

On the OP... I don't think it would solve all problems, but I think a modest fee would help increase the ratio of serious to non serious members, and possibly help build more community.

< Message edited by Bhruic -- 1/9/2015 10:44:02 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 107
RE: Definitive Answer - 1/9/2015 10:59:34 AM   
LiveSpark


Posts: 808
Joined: 12/25/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins


quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug


quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark


Absolutely! However even then it's still possible they are in a relationship but don't live together. There is no 100% guarantee which is why I'm working on not falling so hard so fast.


Oh, for sure. That's where the random contacting during the day and evening comes in.



I'm ashamed to say I hadn't thought of that. I'll file it away for future use. Thanks!

ETA: This is all exactly why I won't get involved with someone who lives far from me. It's far too easy to lie about well everything. Live and learn.


You got that right, for sure

needles


That's the one thing that make me so hesitant to try to meet a partner online. It would be great to meet someone local but so far there haven't been any promising prospects. So I've cast my net wider...but I'm nervous. In a way though it's good because my eyes are wide open.

_____________________________

I've been here as MontrealPhoenix, zephyr and
TheFireWithinMe.

I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.

If you fall I'll always be there to catch you ~ Floor

(in reply to needlesandpins)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: Definitive Answer - 1/9/2015 2:48:30 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark


quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins


quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug


quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark


Absolutely! However even then it's still possible they are in a relationship but don't live together. There is no 100% guarantee which is why I'm working on not falling so hard so fast.


Oh, for sure. That's where the random contacting during the day and evening comes in.



I'm ashamed to say I hadn't thought of that. I'll file it away for future use. Thanks!

ETA: This is all exactly why I won't get involved with someone who lives far from me. It's far too easy to lie about well everything. Live and learn.


You got that right, for sure

needles


That's the one thing that make me so hesitant to try to meet a partner online. It would be great to meet someone local but so far there haven't been any promising prospects. So I've cast my net wider...but I'm nervous. In a way though it's good because my eyes are wide open.
Psssst...Tis also because you're nearsighted. Get your glasses on!

(in reply to LiveSpark)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: Definitive Answer - 1/9/2015 2:50:29 PM   
LiveSpark


Posts: 808
Joined: 12/25/2014
Status: offline 		That's not it, my glasses are on. I just don't much like what I'm seeing

_____________________________

I've been here as MontrealPhoenix, zephyr and
TheFireWithinMe.

I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.

If you fall I'll always be there to catch you ~ Floor

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 110
RE: Definitive Answer - 1/9/2015 5:37:13 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		~chuckles~

(in reply to LiveSpark)
Profile   Post #: 111
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