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RE: What is DIFFERENT about femdom than other sexy rela... - 1/9/2015 3:41:25 AM

GoddessManko

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie
Wrong question.

Dominant women have a very hard role.

They have to somehow appease (and appeal to) sub men.

I think it's as hard to be a Domme woman as it is to be a (strong) sub man.

I'm not a woman so I can't speak to that but, I can imagine....few women want a weak man and yet....so many of (us) sub men want such a strong woman that we can be weak....but they still want their doors opened.

They want a strong man.

What a conundrum.

(Indeed).

Opening a door is not being strong, it's being a gentleman, unless you were raised by wolves. It indicates to surrounding people you respect the woman you're with and she's not a "lady of the night".
Also I agree with Nookie, appealing to sub men? LOL
For women it's a matter of waking up in the morning to appeal to any man, forget sub men. We simply prefer submissive men and it's not hard to BE YOURSELF. Completely agreed with Nookie and everyone else.
Also who even equates submission to weakness? My, my, aren't you completely lost on this one.

< Message edited by GoddessManko -- 1/9/2015 3:42:26 AM >

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Post #: 21

RE: What is DIFFERENT about femdom than other sexy rela... - 1/9/2015 9:51:27 AM

GotSteel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko
Opening a door is not being strong, it's being a gentleman, unless you were raised by wolves. It indicates to surrounding people you respect the woman you're with and she's not a "lady of the night".

I feel like there may have been some generational shift on the meaning of that act.

(in reply to GoddessManko)

Post #: 22

RE: What is DIFFERENT about femdom than other sexy rela... - 1/9/2015 10:05:48 AM

LiveSpark

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko
Opening a door is not being strong, it's being a gentleman, unless you were raised by wolves. It indicates to surrounding people you respect the woman you're with and she's not a "lady of the night".

I feel like there may have been some generational shift on the meaning of that act.

Before I comment and potentially get it wrong could you clarify what you mean by this comment

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Post #: 23

RE: What is DIFFERENT about femdom than other sexy rela... - 1/9/2015 11:28:56 AM

FriendlyMuppet

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I believe these types of nomenclature problems occur because people want so much to categorize people into what they understand and don't want to accept things they don't understand or subscribe to. To me, a femdom is a woman who is dominant. There are certain subcategories within that framework as well, and I can't even begin to count the different variations on that.

There would be absolutely nothing wrong with using the terminology of maledom to describe a male dominant. It's just people generally haven't bought into that nomenclature, so it tends to be avoided. Femdom, in my opinion, came about because not a lot of people were familiar with women being dominant in relationships. In certain circles, like the one I travel in, almost every female I know is dominant, or desires to be dominant. As such, I also hang out with female submissives, who just so happen to not be submissive to me. If we "needed" a name for them, we'd probably go with femsub, but no one is breaking down any doors to force any names on anyone.

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Post #: 24

RE: What is DIFFERENT about femdom than other sexy rela... - 1/9/2015 1:20:35 PM

FieryOpal

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This is true about BDSM itself. To some, BDSM is all-inclusive of D/s and any activity they deem to be kinky or not mainstream. Some like to see the acronym as the triple combination of (outdated terminology, I've heard, as with the use of "Dominatrix") B&D and S&M as such: (B[D)(S]M), where my bracketed "D" and bracketed "S" are combined to stand for D/s. Since I believe that D/s is a separate relationship dynamic and not a mandatory part of BDSM play activities, I prefer to make a distinction. D/s is not "play" to me, whether as kinky sex or involving physical contact, of either a sexual or non-sexual nature. (Frankly, I see physical intimacy as sexual in nature myself because somebody or bodies are getting aroused and/or gratified during play, but many don't look at it that way.)

There are those who use the label of "fetishist" or "kinkster" differently than others do. Tops are usually seen as automatically being Dominant, when that is not always the case.

Btw, I use the term "femsub" and haven't heard an objection to this yet. In an isolated instance, if somebody has a preference or takes offense, I try to be sensitive to that within reason.

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Post #: 25

RE: What is DIFFERENT about femdom than other sexy rela... - 1/9/2015 1:30:39 PM

littleladybug

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

.

Btw, I use the term "femsub" and haven't heard an objection to this yet. In an isolated instance, if somebody has a preference or takes offense, I try to be sensitive to that within reason.

Dang it, will you PLEASE stop with that? I *am* feminine, and I am a woman (CIS, for those who are into those things)...and I am submissive.....though that box just icks me out. So, find something new and unusual, would ya?

< Message edited by littleladybug -- 1/9/2015 1:31:03 PM >

(in reply to FieryOpal)

Post #: 26

RE: What is DIFFERENT about femdom than other sexy rela... - 1/9/2015 1:32:51 PM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
.
Btw, I use the term "femsub" and haven't heard an objection to this yet. In an isolated instance, if somebody has a preference or takes offense, I try to be sensitive to that within reason.

Dang it, will you PLEASE stop with that? I *am* feminine, and I am a woman (CIS, for those who are into those things)...and I am submissive.....though that box just icks me out. So, find something new and unusual, would ya?

femmes? Or would that just confuse the French?

ETA: How about slashy F/femme?

< Message edited by FieryOpal -- 1/9/2015 1:35:17 PM >

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(in reply to littleladybug)

Post #: 27

RE: What is DIFFERENT about femdom than other sexy rela... - 1/9/2015 1:36:55 PM

LiveSpark

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Good post FO. I see TTTWD as simply another kind of relationship which has a power transfer of some kind. It just happens to have a lot of really fun activities and really awesome kinky sex lol. I agree with you, I don't see it as just "play".

I've heard the term femsub and it has been applied to me, I see no problem with it and don't see it as bad or derogatory.

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Post #: 28

RE: What is DIFFERENT about femdom than other sexy rela... - 1/10/2015 9:17:49 AM

crumpets

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The answer to the question is likely in the devil, where the devil is always in the details.

There is no way to accurately answer the question, in detail, so, to wholly inaccurately answer it, in detail, one way to point out the differences is that maledoms never kick femsubs in the balls. They don't even kick femsubs in the pussies. It's just not their schtick.

Another way to just as inaccurately portray the sexually dimorphic difference in detail, is to note that maledoms don't as often order their femsubs to massage and lick their feet and paint their toenails, to the exclusion of the other more sensual parts of their maledominant bodies. You see, the femaledominant body often has their most dominant erotic organs embedded in the webbing in between their toes.

While I could go on and on with similarly specific details such as the lack of the maledom sticking anything specifically into the ureter of the femsub, what's most important to note about the perceived differences is that the maldom tends to be sexually attracted to the femsub, (and, as a matter of course, tends to have some kind of consensual sexual activity with that femsub) while the femdom tends to be more service oriented (tea anyone?) and tends to have less sexual activity with their malesub (and may likely even require some form of chastity as a term of service itself).

Now there! Are you all finally happy now that I've definitively answered the question, in detail?

(in reply to LiveSpark)

Post #: 29

RE: What is DIFFERENT about femdom than other sexy rela... - 1/10/2015 10:28:45 AM

Charles6682

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I wouldn't say all "FemDom" relationship's are based on sex. There are quite a few so called "vanilla" relationship, where I see where the wife or girlfriend is clearly the one who is in control. The husband or boyfriend is passive/submissive and just does as his partner tells him to do. I see this type of relationships from all walks of life. They may not call it "FemDom" or any other term to define their relationship.

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Post #: 30

RE: What is DIFFERENT about femdom than other sexy rela... - 1/10/2015 7:00:08 PM

GotSteel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko
Opening a door is not being strong, it's being a gentleman, unless you were raised by wolves. It indicates to surrounding people you respect the woman you're with and she's not a "lady of the night".

I feel like there may have been some generational shift on the meaning of that act.

Before I comment and potentially get it wrong could you clarify what you mean by this comment

I don't think the kids these days call them "ladies of the night" or show their respect for their significant other by pretending she can't operate a door.

(in reply to LiveSpark)

Post #: 31

RE: What is DIFFERENT about femdom than other sexy rela... - 1/10/2015 7:10:49 PM

LiveSpark

Posts: 808
Joined: 12/25/2014
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko
Opening a door is not being strong, it's being a gentleman, unless you were raised by wolves. It indicates to surrounding people you respect the woman you're with and she's not a "lady of the night".

I feel like there may have been some generational shift on the meaning of that act.

Before I comment and potentially get it wrong could you clarify what you mean by this comment

I don't think the kids these days call them "ladies of the night" or show their respect for their significant other by pretending she can't operate a door.

I agree then although it would be nice if they would open a door once in a while. Can't tell you how many times doors have been slammed in my face when I was on crutches though that wasn't exclusively kids.

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I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.

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(in reply to GotSteel)

Post #: 32

RE: What is DIFFERENT about femdom than other sexy rela... - 1/10/2015 7:17:30 PM

FieryOpal

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Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

I don't think the kids these days call them "ladies of the night" or show their respect for their significant other by pretending she can't operate a door.

No, but back in Johnny Carson's day (that was before Jay Leno, in case you didn't know), hookers were called "ladies of the evening."

So now common courtesy can only be extended to the handicapped and to the infirm?

Or is that just the rationale used by those who have the manners of somebody who was raised in a barn?

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
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(in reply to GotSteel)

Post #: 33

RE: What is DIFFERENT about femdom than other sexy rela... - 1/10/2015 7:23:28 PM

LiveSpark

Posts: 808
Joined: 12/25/2014
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

I don't think the kids these days call them "ladies of the night" or show their respect for their significant other by pretending she can't operate a door.

No, but back in Johnny Carson's day (that was before Jay Leno, in case you didn't know), hookers were called "ladies of the evening."

So now common courtesy can only be extended to the handicapped and to the infirm?
Or is that just the rationale used by those who have the manners of somebody who was raised in a barn?

My experience is that it isn't even extended that far. I've seen people look me right in the eye as they let the door slam in my face when I was on crutches. So the chances of their being courteous to people who are healthy are probably <2%

_____________________________

I've been here as MontrealPhoenix, zephyr and
TheFireWithinMe.

I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.

If you fall I'll always be there to catch you ~ Floor

(in reply to FieryOpal)

Post #: 34

RE: What is DIFFERENT about femdom than other sexy rela... - 1/11/2015 2:21:13 AM

Lucylastic

Posts: 40310
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets

The answer to the question is likely in the devil, where the devil is always in the details.

There is no way to accurately answer the question, in detail, so, to wholly inaccurately answer it, in detail, one way to point out the differences is that maledoms never kick femsubs in the balls. They don't even kick femsubs in the pussies. It's just not their schtick.

Another way to just as inaccurately portray the sexually dimorphic difference in detail, is to note that maledoms don't as often order their femsubs to massage and lick their feet and paint their toenails, to the exclusion of the other more sensual parts of their maledominant bodies. You see, the femaledominant body often has their most dominant erotic organs embedded in the webbing in between their toes.

While I could go on and on with similarly specific details such as the lack of the maledom sticking anything specifically into the ureter of the femsub, what's most important to note about the perceived differences is that the maldom tends to be sexually attracted to the femsub, (and, as a matter of course, tends to have some kind of consensual sexual activity with that femsub) while the femdom tends to be more service oriented (tea anyone?) and tends to have less sexual activity with their malesub (and may likely even require some form of chastity as a term of service itself).

Now there! Are you all finally happy now that I've definitively answered the question, in detail?

except that is not anywhere close to my relationships in femdom, and the webbing between my toes while sensitive is hardly my dominant erotic organ, what a bunch of whooey
Plenty of men are into punching, slapping, kicking, piercing the submissives, pussies, tits, and clits, you havent got out much have you?
Have you never seen a dom put out cigarettes on breasts, or knitting needles thru their breasts?
Sounds are universal, not just male toys, Im certainly not a tea service person on more than one day a month.
Oh and I fuck when I want to fuck, I use chastity too, OMG say it isnt so, I can only surmise you must have met some really boring people.
I dont kick anyone in the nuts...not for fun at least. I dont break my toys.
your claims are not universal, or even close
just sayin

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Post #: 35

RE: What is DIFFERENT about femdom than other sexy rela... - 1/11/2015 5:32:34 AM

crumpets

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From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic
except that is not anywhere close to my relationships in femdom, and the webbing between my toes while sensitive is hardly my dominant erotic organ, what a bunch of whooey

It was a joke about femdom porn where much of it is men worshiping the toes, heels, and feet of half-bored women, to say nothing about the shoes.

Do dominant women, in real life, really want the soles of their shoes worshiped to the exclusion of more interesting body parts?

(in reply to Lucylastic)

Post #: 36

RE: What is DIFFERENT about femdom than other sexy rela... - 1/11/2015 5:39:24 AM

Lucylastic

Posts: 40310
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Ahhhhh, then I apologise for my attitude
Im usually very good at reading sarcasm and condescension...for some reason, my "joke" scanner was broke this morning...it was 5ish on a sunday and BC(before coffee)

Lifestyle Dommes, maybe not so much, but I know of many groups where parties are held for foot worship, run by dommes, Ive been to a few over the years, but its really not my area of interest, it was fun for a change.

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/ \

(•_•)
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Post #: 37

RE: What is DIFFERENT about femdom than other sexy rela... - 1/11/2015 5:43:18 AM

LiveSpark

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Joined: 12/25/2014
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic
except that is not anywhere close to my relationships in femdom, and the webbing between my toes while sensitive is hardly my dominant erotic organ, what a bunch of whooey

It was a joke about femdom porn where much of it is men worshiping the toes, heels, and feet of half-bored women, to say nothing about the shoes.

Do dominant women, in real life, really want the soles of their shoes worshiped to the exclusion of more interesting body parts?

I was wondering about that. It IS entirely too stereotypical. Like Lucy my sarcasm meter must be broken. Sorry for any snark I may have posted.

_____________________________

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I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.

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(in reply to crumpets)

Post #: 38

RE: What is DIFFERENT about femdom than other sexy rela... - 1/11/2015 5:45:43 AM

NookieNotes

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Joined: 11/10/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets
Do dominant women, in real life, really want the soles of their shoes worshiped to the exclusion of more interesting body parts?

Not really. I mean, I can enjoy it once in a while, but I'd rather a nice pedi while the Pet and I watch a movie together... the massage, toenails painted, etc...

I have used my boots to make a point, before, though. And THAT can be fun. But it's not a regular thing.

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Post #: 39

RE: What is DIFFERENT about femdom than other sexy rela... - 1/11/2015 6:21:39 AM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

except that is not anywhere close to my relationships in femdom, and the webbing between my toes while sensitive is hardly my dominant erotic organ, what a bunch of whooey

It was a joke about femdom porn where much of it is men worshiping the toes, heels, and feet of half-bored women, to say nothing about the shoes.

Do dominant women, in real life, really want the soles of their shoes worshiped to the exclusion of more interesting body parts?

Lucy, I'm with you, and a newbie such as the OP could have taken crumpets post seriously, so thanks for refuting. In fact, unless it's a podiatrist or my SO, I don't want any man fooling with my feet. (They're ticklish. A dude did once do my mani-pedi but that was in a salon.) I also don't go around telling random men to kiss my boots or shoeclad feet either.

crumpets, don't be expecting a Domme to allow an uncollared sub to be worshipping upon her body's more private erogenous zones. This is a privilege earned through intimate relationship or by developing a relationship with a Domme. It is a common male sub fantasy to be "forced" into immediate access, as if Dominant women have to go around "forcing" subs to give them pleasure. Kinky or vanilla, men are more than willing to provide sexual pleasure to a woman (unless he is an 4sshat Dom).

The only way you're going to get fast-laned sex is by paying an escort for sexual services. Even at a bar looking to pick up a lady, a man still has to put forth effort with sweet talk, buy some drinks, compete with other stag men by having some game.

At face value, there are male Dominants who are just as service-oriented with their needs as female Dominants are, who have a non-sexual service sub of either gender. This can be by themselves or as a Dom/Domme-switch-sub couple. With multiple subs, there is plenty of wiggle-room. A Sensual Dominant may not choose to be sensual with you, so the onus is upon you to express the scope of your submissive needs at the onset and then go from there.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to crumpets)

Post #: 40

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