crumpets
Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014 From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley) Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Zonie63 I can sense that you're trying to come up with a scientific answer to something that can't really be pinned down in such a way. Actually, I believe it CAN be pinned down; it's just not easy to do, because it takes both data, and understanding the data. At best, with insufficient data, we can make generalizations, which, hopefully, are "mostly" representative of real life relationships. Anything I say, with insufficient data, can and will be used against me, and, while I have the right to remain silent, I think we can safely say that it seems overwhelming here that the female dominants want men to use "typical male courtesies" (such as opening the door and paying for dinner, and, perhaps even making the first moves, etc.), while none of the men submissive men seem to feel the dominant women should take over that role for them. quote:
ORIGINAL: Zonie63 I don't think anyone can characterize human relationships of any type with any accuracy. (If anyone could do that, a lot of marriage counselors and advice columnists would be out of a job.) Many have tried. Myers-Briggs is a decently well tested, IMHO, characterization of personality types (but it was NEVER intended to handle relationships, and, when it's used in that way, I suspect it's being misused). quote:
ORIGINAL: Zonie63 As for male-led vs. female-led relationships, a lot of it also has to be interpreted in the overall construct of society itself, which pretty much defaults to male-led relationships as being the societal norm. And, for that reason alone, female-led D/s relationships can't possibly be simply the opposite of male-led D/s relationships. More than that, EVERYTHING about women is vastly different than it is about men. In general, and again, everything I say can and will be used against me, women are more tuned to RELATIONSHIPS than men (yes, I know, there will be some male opportunist who will see that statement and leap into the conversation to decry that he's not looking for a quick lay, and all the gals should flock to him). In general, the women have no problem, if they want, finding (far) more than one man, so, they can keep one relationship sexual (if they prefer), and the rest of their D/s "encounters", if they prefer, they can keep asexual (with the focus being on service and chastity, for example). In general, men want to get their rocks off, although, again, these are vast generalizations - but - it's well known that when a man reaches the post-orgasm refractory period, he may be shall we say, more interested in a ham sandwich with an olive on top than serving the same to a female dominant at that point. We could synthesize generalizations from now until the cows come home, but they'd all have to be tested, against a statistically valid set of relationships. However, my hypothesis is that you can't remove the biology from the person. My hypothesis is (and I didn't come up with this in a vacuum), that women will fundamentally approach their D/s relationships differently than men will; and, I would then argue, there is a great chance that the differences will split along gender lines for what women and men expect in that relationship, no matter which side of the kneel they may lie.
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