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ORIGINAL: anaturalsubmiss

What is a 4sshat Dom?

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ORIGINAL: LiveSpark

"crumpets, don't be expecting a Domme to allow an uncollared sub to be worshipping upon her body's more private erogenous zones. This is a privilege earned through intimate relationship or by developing a relationship with a Domme. It is a common male sub fantasy to be "forced" into immediate access, as if Dominant women have to go around "forcing" subs to give them pleasure. Kinky or vanilla, men are more than willing to provide sexual pleasure to a woman (unless he is an 4sshat Dom). "

It might work well to force a male sub to give a Domme head if he's gay. So yes there are ways it would work to force a sub to do that right away.

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ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark

"crumpets, don't be expecting a Domme to allow an uncollared sub to be worshipping upon her body's more private erogenous zones. This is a privilege earned through intimate relationship or by developing a relationship with a Domme. It is a common male sub fantasy to be "forced" into immediate access, as if Dominant women have to go around "forcing" subs to give them pleasure. Kinky or vanilla, men are more than willing to provide sexual pleasure to a woman (unless he is an 4sshat Dom). "

It might work well to force a male sub to give a Domme head if he's gay. So yes there are ways it would work to force a sub to do that right away.

That would be punishment! And most likely a Hard Limit (for both parties).

I wouldn't have a gay sub, and I don't do multiple subs or a (non-sexual) service sub.

Just making this clear in case somebody were to take this seriously as well.

What many males who watch too much FemDom porn don't seem to understand is that BDSM is consensual, so "forcing" is never actually forcing. It's simply a matter of timing. I (generic Domme-Mistress) take what I want when I want, and this is what my sub partner also desires for me to do, according to my mood. My main point is that just because a male is submissive doesn't entitle him to get shortcuts with Dominant women, no different than gaining access to any other woman. He should expect to have to work harder to engender trust than your average (horny) Joe, as a matter of fact; otherwise, he doesn't genuinely have a submissive agenda. I'm not saying this is the rule, only sorting out unrealistic assumptions if getting collared in a D/s dynamic is what a male sub is seeking, a bona fide Mistress, and not merely a BDSM play partner Top to scratch his itches.

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ORIGINAL: LiveSpark

And you have no way of knowing if it's punishment or not. It may well be someone's kink to be forced to perform oral on a woman...or do you claim to know each and every gay male sub?

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ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

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ORIGINAL: LiveSpark

And you have no way of knowing if it's punishment or not. It may well be someone's kink to be forced to perform oral on a woman...or do you claim to know each and every gay male sub?

No, I wouldn't, nor would anyone. However, I would question that in such a hypothetical scenario, the sub in question wouldn't be gay then, would he? He would be bisexual instead (which I don't do either).

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ORIGINAL: LiveSpark

OR he is gay and it's his kink to be forced. Is it really so far beyond the realm of possibility that he gets off on being forced even though he doesn't get off on the act itself?

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ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
So now common courtesy can only be extended to the handicapped and to the infirm?
Or is that just the rationale used by those who have the manners of somebody who was raised in a barn?

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ORIGINAL: GotSteel

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ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
So now common courtesy can only be extended to the handicapped and to the infirm?
Or is that just the rationale used by those who have the manners of somebody who was raised in a barn?

I think there are still manners, they're just less gender segregated.

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ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
You mean Friend-Zoned.

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ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

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ORIGINAL: GotSteel

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ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
So now common courtesy can only be extended to the handicapped and to the infirm?
Or is that just the rationale used by those who have the manners of somebody who was raised in a barn?

I think there are still manners, they're just less gender segregated.

You mean Friend-Zoned. The general public. Family and friends. If I am the first one at the door, I hold it open for whomever I'm with or happens to be following behind me.

Does a gentleman take a lady's coat because she's incapable of hanging it up herself? Or of pulling out her own seat? Does he walk on the outer side of the sidewalk or put his arm around her waist because she can't steady herself while walking in high heels? (Although, that has happened, after a few drinks. :p)

Does a host or hostess ask whether you want your glass refilled because you are incapable of doing so yourself? S/he may say help yourself to whatever you want as a welcoming gesture.

Common courtesy goes a long way. Saying Please, Thank you, You're Welcome.

Acting like a gentleman sends the message that this lady is with you or that any lady of yours will be treated with respect and shown courtesy.
Otherwise, the woman that you're with is just one of the guys. Keep being inattentive to her, and she will soon seek out another man who can treat her better and show his appreciation more than you do.

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ORIGINAL: LiveSpark
I find it curious that you limit this to a man doing these things for a woman. To me it's courteous to do these things for whoever, regardless of gender. By the way, not saying please or thank you bother me far more than the other examples you give.

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ORIGINAL: GotSteel

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ORIGINAL: LiveSpark
I find it curious that you limit this to a man doing these things for a woman. To me it's courteous to do these things for whoever, regardless of gender. By the way, not saying please or thank you bother me far more than the other examples you give.

In my piece of the country at least as recently as Saturday college kids still hold the door. Chivalry on the other hand died during my generation and has been buried for quite some time.

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ORIGINAL: GotSteel

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ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

You mean Friend-Zoned.

No I don't, I mean that there has been a cultural shift through the generations. Antiquated courtship rituals would at best be out of place and are prone to coming off as weird or even condescending among the younger generations, things have changed.

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ORIGINAL: GotSteel

In my piece of the country at least as recently as Saturday college kids still hold the door. Chivalry on the other hand died during my generation and has been buried for quite some time.

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ORIGINAL: LiveSpark
Interestingly a year or so ago when I was on crutches it was kids/young adults who gave up their seats on buses. Older adults were much more reluctant.

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ORIGINAL: GotSteel

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ORIGINAL: LiveSpark
Interestingly a year or so ago when I was on crutches it was kids/young adults who gave up their seats on buses. Older adults were much more reluctant.

I couldn't begin to comment on culture in Quebec, you people have your own thing going on over there.

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ORIGINAL: GotSteel

ROTFL this stuff's cultural you can't actually argue it.

For instance you could enumerate all the reasons why it's respectful to look someone in the eyes while you're talking to them but it wouldn't make wandering around Japan looking people in the eyes while you talk to them any less rude. Because Japan has it''s own cultural reasons for why it's disrespectful to look people in the eyes while you're talking to them.

Same deal here, American culture's changed since you learned it.

Now you can complain until your blue in the face that younger generations have different cultural norms than you but doing so won't turn back the clock, time only moves the one way.