NookieNotes
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Joined: 11/10/2013 Status: offline
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ORIGINAL: usememistress775 I put this challenge to you Nookie, think of anything you love in any capacity be it person, pet, planet, country or inanimate object. Think of that entity and tell me if you are unwilling to sacrifice anything at all in order to (spend time with, improve the life of, enjoy the company of, make happy etc). I would like to know if you find anything you love that you can't see making even a small sacrifice for. I have already told you one. I love my ex-husband. I would not make even a small sacrifice for him. For those I love currently in my life, well, the sacrifice would not depend on the love I have for them. It would depend on whether I felt the sacrifice was worth their potential benefit. When I lived in NYC, I gave my new winter coat to a homeless woman and her two very small mutt dogs. I sacrificed that coat for her and her dogs' potential survival. Did I love her? No. Spending time with my friends is not a sacrifice, to me. Loaning money to a loved one is not a sacrifice. So, I'm still not following your logic, unless you believe that every choice ever made then becomes a sacrifice... and in that case, there is no tie-in to love, except that living requires sacrifice, and therefore love does, too, since love is a part of life. And I don't buy that kind of macro thinking. Love is love. Sacrifice is sacrifice. Sometimes they go together. Sometimes they do not. quote:
ORIGINAL: GoddessManko You are trying to make our small gestures into grandiose and selfless acts when they aren't. Not in comparison. It is simply a fact. Also this will give you food for thought as to what "true submission" requires. I agree with this. quote:
ORIGINAL: Gauge This is a fast reply. Since the dawn of mankind, words have never been adequate enough to describe love or what it truly means. While I have the utmost respect for those involved in these forums, I seriously doubt that any of us will fare any better. I agree, Gauge. However, what I can say, in my opinion, is what love is NOT. Love does not require sacrifice. Anymore than it requires jealousy, dominance, submission, possession, expectations, clingyness, drama, arguments, slowing sex drive, death of romance... Or any of the other things that people try to tie into love, to make it both more (in terms of personal responsibility) and less (in terms of the purest form of what it is being enough as it is) than it is actually defined as. quote:
ORIGINAL: usememistress775 Is duty not a facet of love? No. Love is love, duty is duty. quote:
As for making small gestures into grandiose acts, there are no small gestures. You are dictating for the world here. It is a small gesture for me to smile. For someone with a different demeanor, it may be a large gesture. Perhaps you feel a greater self-importance than I do, and therefore your every action holds great meaning to you. That's not true for me. Most things I do on a daily basis are small acts. Yes, they add up. But as grains of sand add up to a beach, an individual grain is not required, in and of itself. quote:
ORIGINAL: GoddessManko I am not sure why you think love and sacrifice go hand in hand. It really depends on the dynamic but there is no right or wrong way to love at the end of the day. Only what is right or wrong for you. Yes. quote:
ORIGINAL: usememistress775 Don't know if a goldfish is capable of love, but you are capable of loving a goldfish hence the time spent feeding and caring for it. I have never asserted that love must be returned. I cannot think of a way to express love that doesn't involve sacrifice. And every else brings up one sided love to use as a counterexample yet all it does is highlight that the person who does love will sacrifice for that love and the one not willing to sacrifice does not love the other person. Reread just my posts and tell me I have made any other claim. So, you are suggesting that by feeding my cat and cleaning the litter box, I am sacrificing? What if I clean another cat's litterbox? Is that duty? Or love? quote:
ORIGINAL: usememistress775 Again I need to point out that I said that love needed either sacrifice OR the willingness to sacrifice. Every reply keeps saying that they have not sacrificed for someone they love, but I'll bet every dollar I will ever make that if push comes to shove, each one of you will be there sacrificing your plans, time and sometimes money to help those you love. But it is YOU who is defining the word sacrifice and the word love for everyone else. The dictionary already defines love. Our bodies already produce love as Oxytocin. Your definition does not change the actual common usage of the word. A sacrifice, to me, would require something above and beyond. You mentioned parents staying up at night for their children. Ask 100 parents. Some will call that a sacrifice, some will not. Why would you feel it is your place to define that for them? And therefore, for you, perhaps you do not feel you love, unless you sacrifice, or are willing to sacrifice. That's cool for you. For me, that sounds like you're putting the priorities in the wrong place to determine love or not. quote:
ORIGINAL: DesFIP Because doing something that betters someone you love should not be viewed as a sacrifice. It ought to be a happy giving to them. Do you view buying them a birthday present a sacrifice? Why not, after all you could have spent that money on yourself? This is how I read it. However, I'm not saying usememistress775 is selfish, just that the way he is using the word sacrifice to apply to things I would find joy in (and therefore I don't see as sacrifices) puts too much emphasis on them in a relationship, for my personal world view. quote:
ORIGINAL: usememistress775 Why is sacrifice a bad thing? Everyone seems to be placing negative connotations on the word. Yes. Because it's giving up something valuable. quote:
All I am trying to say is that if you love someone or something then you give freely of yourself. This is not the same thing as sacrificing to most people. That is why we have different words for sacrifice and giving. You see? The way you are using the word sacrifice to cover things most of see as part and parcel with life is what is making your point moot to me, at least, and I suspect others, from what I've read. quote:
ORIGINAL: GoddessManko Happy giving, ergo not a sacrifice. I concur. Thirded.
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