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RE: Slut Shaming - 3/1/2015 4:58:03 PM   
GoddessManko


Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko

Well, I'm sure I felt victimized, but not based on the fact that I'm a female. I felt the victim because I was at the hands of bullies and criminals, not because I felt that anybody was trying to make me feel like my gender or my actions deserve it.

And yes, I'm sure there was impact on me. But not on my view of my own self-worth and sexuality. (Of course, now I'll be analyzing myself for the rest of the night.)



LOL, don't. But thanks for offering a difference in perspective. And pretty much how I view people who do this sort of thing (as bullies/small minded people).

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

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The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to Kaliko)
Profile   Post #: 101
RE: Slut Shaming - 3/1/2015 4:58:34 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		Kaliko- I can respect your different choices. I just disagree.

And let's straighten out a couple things: I understand the risks of promiscuity. I lessen them with education and taking proper precautions at every available juncture.

I am in no way belittling the progress that has been made, I just think a lot more COULD be made. I see the government saying phrases like "legitimate rape" and trying to make it difficult for women, specifically women of color, to get birth control and education (I'm intentionally avoiding yet another tangent by not bringing up abortion...). Like I said I came to know the prostitutes- when they weren't there for a few days my first thought was never "I bet Richard Gere picked her up and he's taken her to Hawaii!".

When I heard what that gunman said in CA last year and it made my blood run ice cold. I know men who feel like that. A lot of them. We see men like that here everyday, and you can #notallmen me all you want- it doesn't make me feel safer existing in a world where those attitudes are commonplace. Which is social opression.

I'm glad you've never had to experience these things. But I'm sorry you lack the empathy to understand this.

However I've found our state to really attract this polar opposite thing. There are very few people, at least in my area who have moderate views.

(in reply to Wayward5oul)
Profile   Post #: 102
RE: Slut Shaming - 3/1/2015 5:01:37 PM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko


quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

Kaliko, would you consider PTSD to be a superfluous term made up by those in the mental health field?


I couldn't comment on that. I don't know enough about it to say.





I see.

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to Kaliko)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: Slut Shaming - 3/1/2015 5:04:53 PM   
Wayward5oul


Posts: 3314
Joined: 11/9/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko


quote:

ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul


If I am understanding this part of your response correctly, then you are saying that your experiences are similar to what other posters have described as slut shaming, but that you didn't interpret it that way.

If that is correct, is that because you didn't care what others thought, so even if they were attempting to slut shame, it had no impact on you-you didn't let yourself be one of their "victims"?

Or am I misunderstanding this?



Well, I'm sure I felt victimized, but not based on the fact that I'm a female. I felt the victim because I was at the hands of bullies and criminals, not because I felt that anybody was trying to make me feel like my gender or my actions deserve it.

And yes, I'm sure there was impact on me. But not on my view of my own self-worth and sexuality. (Of course, now I'll be analyzing myself for the rest of the night.)



I guess the reason that caught my attention is because, at least in my mind, slut shaming is a form of bullying, and I don't see anyone denying that bullies don't exist or that victims of bullying shouldn't let it affect them the way it does.


(in reply to Kaliko)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: Slut Shaming - 3/1/2015 5:10:07 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

(I'm intentionally avoiding yet another tangent by not bringing up abortion...)



Wise choice. :)

(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: Slut Shaming - 3/1/2015 5:44:30 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		Can you really not understand that people experience things differently than you?

(in reply to Kaliko)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: Slut Shaming - 3/1/2015 5:51:00 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

Can you really not understand that people experience things differently than you?



...?

Of course. I thought that's what I've been saying is so interesting to me. Same (or similar) experiences, different perspectives coming out of them.

(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: Slut Shaming - 3/1/2015 5:51:51 PM   
UnholyBear


Posts: 661
Joined: 10/19/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

Come get your S.L.U.T. on ;)

https://fetlife.com/groups/116207



I would if I could and since I can't I won't.

Besides this Bear is not a SLUT.....I am a Manwhore.



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(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: Slut Shaming - 3/1/2015 5:58:22 PM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UnholyBear


quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

Come get your S.L.U.T. on ;)

https://fetlife.com/groups/116207



I would if I could and since I can't I won't.

Besides this Bear is not a SLUT.....I am a Manwhore.




If you cannot be a slut, you can be a slut~monger like me ;)


_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to UnholyBear)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: Slut Shaming - 3/1/2015 5:58:26 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko


quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

Can you really not understand that people experience things differently than you?



...?

Of course. I thought that's what I've been saying is so interesting to me. Same (or similar) experiences, different perspectives coming out of them.


So we both eat the same steak.

Do we both have the same opinion and experience?

(in reply to Kaliko)
Profile   Post #: 110
RE: Slut Shaming - 3/1/2015 6:06:03 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline 		I see where you're going and please continue, but know that I've just said my goodnight's on my end so I won't be responding for some time. I'm not ignoring you. I'm just really tired.

(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: Slut Shaming - 3/1/2015 6:06:16 PM   
UnholyBear


Posts: 661
Joined: 10/19/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant


quote:

ORIGINAL: UnholyBear


quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

Come get your S.L.U.T. on ;)

https://fetlife.com/groups/116207



I would if I could and since I can't I won't.

Besides this Bear is not a SLUT.....I am a Manwhore.




If you cannot be a slut, you can be a slut~monger like me ;)




After much thought......I could be a SLUT if you be my Pimp?

_____________________________

Shameless flirt and just as unholy as ever!

Gauge's cuddlemuffin

CD's manwhore


(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
Profile   Post #: 112
RE: Slut Shaming - 3/1/2015 6:08:39 PM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UnholyBear


quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant


quote:

ORIGINAL: UnholyBear


quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

Come get your S.L.U.T. on ;)

https://fetlife.com/groups/116207



I would if I could and since I can't I won't.

Besides this Bear is not a SLUT.....I am a Manwhore.




If you cannot be a slut, you can be a slut~monger like me ;)




After much thought......I could be a SLUT if you be my Pimp?


That's a very good possibility. Jus let me call CD

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to UnholyBear)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: Slut Shaming - 3/1/2015 7:16:24 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		Speaking of CD- he owes me cartoon underwear pictures- I even promised to reciprocate...and still I remain without cartoon underwear pictures

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
Profile   Post #: 114
RE: Slut Shaming - 3/1/2015 9:53:29 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

I think the belief in male superiority is fair for a female sub, same as Female superiority for a male sub (not to derail the thread). I was raised in an ultra conservative society where ladies were supposed to behave a certain way, and it was almost unthinkable for women to smoke, it was indeed seen as a man's thing. I do not know if disposition on male/female superiority would alter perception of the word "slut" though.
Also sexyred, indeed a family is seen as a liability for many workplaces so some female executives decide early to forsake one for the other. It's simply a fact. I was putting the #'s out there because they affect the way women are seen and treated and even hired in the workplace.
DerangedUnit that also has been the case with me, the opposite. I often found it hilarious that they would act like I was a freak of nature if I didn't sleep with them and they would not give me a call back (as far as the vanilla dates, hehe). It was almost a game for me after a time, the whole tease and denial thing. I would purposely dress promiscuously but none of my actions or words suggested I was and also I would have momentary displays of intelligence to indicate I may be an asset in some way (even if helping with investment advice) but they would never pick up on the subtle hints. "How old are you?" Tell them my age. "Are you a virgin?" No. "We're both adults." *amused* "I know. Etc. I have even been called a "prude" LOL. Now THAT was funny.


Just want to say that as a female sub, I do not believe in male superiority whatsoever.

And as a woman, I don't feel that way either.

It's great to find out the belief system of other posters, but we are not all the same.

(in reply to GoddessManko)
Profile   Post #: 115
RE: Slut Shaming - 3/1/2015 10:06:54 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		^i cosign Red.

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 116
RE: Slut Shaming - 3/2/2015 6:23:21 AM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred

Just want to say that as a female sub, I do not believe in male superiority whatsoever.

And as a woman, I don't feel that way either.

Neither do I, SexyRed! Submission does not equal inferiority!!!!



< Message edited by catize -- 3/2/2015 6:24:26 AM >

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 117
RE: Slut Shaming - 3/2/2015 7:03:16 AM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred

Just want to say that as a female sub, I do not believe in male superiority whatsoever.

And as a woman, I don't feel that way either.

Neither do I, SexyRed! Submission does not equal inferiority!!!!




This is your captain speaking, I see we are in the same boat.

That is all.

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 118
RE: Slut Shaming - 3/2/2015 7:48:51 AM   
AlabamaPrincess


Posts: 134
Joined: 2/4/2015
From: The Dragon's Keep
Status: offline 		I was asked privately if I'd ever been slut-shamed or slut-bullied in the military. Here was my reply:

Me personally, no. Reason being, I owned my sexuality, and identified with the men easier. In my career field back then, women were the severe minority. When I arrived in Korea the first time, my kennelmaster asked me flat out "whose desk will you be crawling under to get out of this assignment?" and I told him flat out I wasn't into that, and if he thought I was like that, then he obviously needed to watch me work. He then asked if I was pregnant, or married, both were met with "no". He then assigned me a dog, set up an explosive search to see how I did. From then on, he and all 36 other male dog handlers had respect for me. And the fact that I made it clear that I liked sex, well, I was more of a novelty than anything else. Back then, as a female I had to be a Dom, simply to keep from being raped or taken advantage of. *shrug* it was a weird time I guess. Due to my upbringing and that time in the military, I developed a very strong personality, more so for survival. It wasn't until Sir and I got together that I've been able to slowly let that wall down and be a woman/sub.

** Note, my job was an explosive detector dog handler, hence the "assigned me a dog", the term 'kennelmaster' etc

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
Profile   Post #: 119
RE: Slut Shaming - 3/2/2015 8:05:31 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Going back to male/female superiority, I don't understand how anyone could consider an entire gender superior. Unless you're pretty stupid to begin with, there are too damn many idiots abounding in both genders to believe all of one are superior.

As far as shaming goes, if someone from a more liberal place moves to a small town that is very closed minded, they will see plenty of shaming. Although this is more apparent in college. Intelligent adults don't go around at the workplace talking sexually, it's a bad career move. But in colleges? My daughter wound up with most of her friends also being from the city, because the kids from the small, totally Christian towns really didn't understand that a woman could own her own sexuality in the same way a man does.

Not coincidentally, it was also the first place where anyone had used an ethnic slur to her simply because of her Judaism. Race, religion, sex - none of the things protected by the 1964 Civil Rights Act were accepted by many of her classmates. The administration disapproved significantly but making a sea change to people who came in with 18 years of indoctrination in prejudice is a lot harder than it looks.

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(in reply to AlabamaPrincess)
Profile   Post #: 120
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