crumpets
Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014 From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley) Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: HoneyBears Could you please enlighten us then, as to what your personal motive is for your sexual behavior? That's a good question. Keeping this generic, what is the motive of most men, for their sexual behavior, and, is it DIFFERENT than the motive for the women they have sex with? Take the Ashley Madison site, for which we have actual recent numbers from multiple sources, as our example. The site's database contained listings for 31 million PAID male subscribers, of which with 50.8% were tagged as “attached males seeking females”. That's over fifteen million men, at one site alone, who PAID MONEY to find a woman for an affair, admitting outright, that they were attached (how many of the other men were similarly attached, I don't know). Even the grossly inflated advertised numbers of 5.5 million women who are on the site, gratis (which includes millions of faked accounts, as noted by the researchers) puts the best ratio possible of male:female at 6:1 odds. Now, for men, 6:1 odds are pretty good, as many of you females will note, men will whistle (so to speak) at anything, so, 1,000:1 odds are still worth going after for most men. Do women go after 1,000:1 odds? I doubt it. For one, they don't have to, since they can hang out at the water fountain at the local park and get more guys in a day (if they wanted to) than a guy can get on Ashley Madison. The odds, for women, are more like 1:1, or, if they're actually going for QUALITY, the odds get a bit more risky, at, oh, something like 10:1, but rarely (I believe) much worse than that (unless they're going for a professional athlete or CEO or rock star - in which case, the odds get increasingly more difficult). Let's think about that for a moment. Notice that the ENTIRE SEXUAL EQUATION isn't at all close to what the men and women are faced with, if they want a tryst tonight. We could go on (as some have) about the biological expense of sex being vastly different for men and for women, and, that the biological benefits of babymaking also being vastly different, but the point is that the conditions are wholly different for sex by men than for sex by women. Since the CONDITIONS are tremendously different, the MOTIVE is also different. If everything were the same, as some naive posters have intimated in this thread, sure, then there would be this 1:1 ratio of men to women having the same reasons for sex, and the same numbers, in approximately the same ratio. However, the MOTIVE now changes, purely naturally. It's nobody's fault. The women get CHOOSY and the men take RISKS. It's the natural outcome of the conditions that exist, and have existed since the beginning of time. Nothing I say, whether it's politically correct or not, is going to change anything about our MOTIVES. quote:
ORIGINAL: HoneyBears Because there is nothing intrinsically wrong with personal gain. To gain is to profit. Profit in this sense is not limited to material gain. It could be ego boosting or ego-aggrandizement stemming from deep-rooted insecurities. It could be getting various (other) needs met. I can't disagree. I'm not ascribing a good or bad label to human sexual behavior. PC or not, it is what it is, and it is what it always has been, and it is what it always will be. EDIT: Things may change in the future if there is a huge change in the sexual equation. For example, in China, with far more men than women surviving birth, the equation may change dramatically as it does during wartime when there are far fewer men of certain baby-making ages available. Likewise, if a dramatically new technology arises, such as how the pill liberated women, or how the near elimination of the dangers of STDs can do, then the EQUATION may change dramatically. Also the POLITICAL environment drastically changes the equation (witness the whacky social mores of some areas of the Middle East, for example). But, I'm assuming classic western-world sexual conditions, for the purpose of this discussion. quote:
ORIGINAL: HoneyBears What is wrong, is to profit at the expense of another. Literally, that's how maximizing profit works most of the time (think stock market), but, I get what you meant, which is to TAKE ADVANTAGE of the others' weaknesses is immoral. quote:
ORIGINAL: HoneyBears It has been said that Money Is the Root of All Evil. Not true. Money is simply a medium of exchange. The lowest form ... or that which is the lowest common denominator that virtually everybody recognizes. I have never been driven by money, so, I can easily agree with you here. I'm more driven by knowledge, than by money, for example. quote:
ORIGINAL: HoneyBears It is the Love of Money or, rather, Having a Love Obsession with Money. Why? Because this leads to selfish and destructive anti-social conduct where Money and the Things that Money Can Buy, come before respecting the rights of other human beings. Since I'm not a connoisseur of money, I'll not argue either way with you on this. When I use the term "whore" here, I have been careful to mention that the "GAIN" is something of value to the women, but, I haven't necessarily said it's always money that they gain. They may gain other things, and that isn't my beef what they deem to desire. It could be LOVE or UNDERSTANDING or some other metric of value to them. Since I'm not very well versed on people's motive solely for MONEY, I'm going to learn from you - by being attentive to what you have to say here, with respect to money and motive. quote:
ORIGINAL: HoneyBears When you go around indiscriminately tossing about the s-word and the w-word as it pertains to sexuality, you not only disrespect all women AND men, but you reveal that you have no self-respect for yourself either. Ah. I see the problem. You think the word "slut" and "whore" are pejorative, when applied in this conversation. Would you feel better if I said the same thing in a different way (bearing in mind that none of these are "my" creations)? How about me repeating the oft stated phrase that every boy learns in high school which is that "men give love to get sex while women give sex to get love"? Would those ageless words make you feel any better about the cold hard facts? Bear in mind it's not MY IDEA that men are sluts, versus women are whores, or that men give love to have sex while women give sex to get love, when it comes to motive for sex. I'm just the messenger. I'm just restating what others have figured out, long before I was ever born, and, what I learned, the very first time my friends and I tried to figure out girls, because their actions were entirely perplexing to us. We easily understood the actions of the boys; but we couldn't figure out the actions of the girls (the whole playing hard to get stuff confused us to no end, for example - since we don't play that game and we have no understanding of it as can be grossly visualized by the multitudes of profile cock shots on this forum). Girls did funny things that made no sense to us, until we finally (belatedly most of the time, since it made no sense to us) realized that they do things for DIFFERENT REASONS than we did them. If we played hard to get, it was because we WERE hard to get (we didn't like you). It wasn't because we want you to like us more. That's stupid (to us) to do the opposite of what you want. We're far more direct than you are. We hit a baseball where we want it to go. That makes sense to us. Girls did the strangest things, and, we only figured out that what they did made no sense years later. Then, a few years after that, we realized, in an epiphany, that girls' reasons made sense (to them), so, they did have a reason after all, but, it sure was way more complicated than the reasons we did the same things. Anyway, since boys and girls today are no different than boys and girls of yesterday (or tomorrow), we have to realize that boys and girls do the same thing for different reasons. Why is that? I'm just characterizing the answer to that question, in a way that is simply a repeat of many others' characterization. We have to realize the words are used to strongly characterize the motive, which is that the men do it for simpler reasons than do women, who do it for far more complex reasons than they even realize themselves (ask Masters & Johnson and others). If you don't like either of those characterizations of what is, and always will be, then I could rephrase it further to meet your politically correct aspirations. It just doesn't have quite the same ring when I say "men have sex for the sex while women have sex to gain something for sex". pejorative Which is why you do what you do, say what you say, and cannot figure out why you keep coming up empty-handed. I am only trying to explain that there is a REASON for the 100:1 (at best) ratio of men to women on collarspace (and elsewhere) looking for sensual gratification. This isn't about "me", despite your desperate attempts to make it so. Everything I note happens everywhere in the world, and has happened countless times in the past, and will happen until the end of time.
< Message edited by crumpets -- 8/30/2015 5:42:58 AM >
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