RE: Can someone please tell the male subs

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respectmen -> RE: Can someone please tell the male subs (12/16/2015 11:36:31 AM)
NookieNotes quote: One is about an experience. The other is generic hatred for an entire gender. You missed my point but anyway.... So I guess it's all okay for a male to make any negative generalisation on women and he will be all in the clear of being a misogynist? Cool LadyConstanze quote: The immature ones with cock shots just get blocked, same as the ones who think women are fetish delivery systems who owe it to them to get them off. So basically, a man is "immature" simply because he is running his sexuality not how a woman would run hers? What if men said women are immature if women are not more like how men want them to be? Why is it only men who treat the opposite gender as a "fetish delivery system" when men simply have kinky desires but this doesn't apply to women who have kinky desires? Why is it that when a male offers something kinky/sexual, he's likely deemed to be controlling and self serving but when a woman offers something kinky/sexual, she's offering a gift to men? If you want to talk about bigotry against a gender's sexuality, instead of talking about "slut shaming" let's talk about how massively fucking discriminated men are just for having a fucking penis. First, this video goes even further and shows how men are even treated as potential pedophiles just for having a penis. That's it, a penis! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3fL9RmVtMP0 Also, just because men have a fucking penis, this type of androphobia follows on with any male can easily just be deemed as a "do me sub", or in the vanilla world, someone who generally just wants to use women simply because he is seeking something sexual. Having a penis, the default position is that he is guilty. There is this word called "prejudice"...I am sure most or all of you know what that word means. Not to mention, it's androphobia. Let me try to explain this more clear. These days we all see the words "islamophobia" or "xenophobe" being thrown around. So why do people use these words? It's when a person holds a default position that a muslim is potentially guilty of being someone evil until proven otherwise or have a generalisation that most muslims are evil. This is all based on them being muslim, nothing more. Is this correct? Is this what you would consider as "islamophobia"? So it would make perfect sense to classify it as "phobic" when a woman holds a default position that a man is potentially guilty of being someone evil until proven otherwise or have a generalisation that most men are evil. This is all based on them being male, nothing more.... Androphobia? So how are we to know that most men are "do me" just because women said so? Why is a bigots word taken over the word of the actual men who are being accused of this? Sounds very unfair to me. LadyPact quote: Well, at least you know we're laughing. It is laughable that men think we're going to be attracted to the random cock shot Do women find certain ways of expressing sexuality to be attractive that men really don't? Men are different, yes? Why are men always shamed and laughed at for being different compared to women when it comes to sexuality, but if its the other way around, it's misogyny and oppression against women? My point here is that men are always expected to change and appease for women. But when its men expecting women to change and appease for men, it's considered as patriarchy enforcing and chauvinism. quote: Do you really think do me bottoms don't exist? I can assure you that they do. Nobody said it was limited to one gender, either. They certainly do exist, no denial there. My whole point is that many to most times men are labelled this, it's likely not to be true. It's likely to be judgement clouded by bigotry instead of reality. It all stems from a man being in the default position of being guilty until proven innocent just for having a penis. This also follows on outside of this website as I showed in that video. It's a very common mindset to have on men anywhere in society. A very unfair one too as you can see that it can cause more misconceptions than things being true. Similar to how muslims are treated when being under the suspicion of being terrorists.

LadyConstanze -> RE: Can someone please tell the male subs (12/16/2015 12:22:02 PM)
You know, there are some social graces, I expect them even online, manners. If a woman should approach a guy like a fetish delivery system (I haven't seen that myself but it might exist) the guy is also free to tell her to take a hike. Oh come on you are again on your "Oh we men are such poor creatures" hobby horse again, remember when you posted about the guy in Canada, I agreed that it was wrong how he was treated, I signed the online petition and sent money to his defense fund, I asked you if you are going to do the same, since it bothers you so much, your reply was SILENCE. So basically you sit there and you whine and whine about the world, how men are treated, that women don't cater to all their sexual desires (because we are female we ought to?) and you consider yourself dominant? Let me ask you, if your mother goes out and has a cup of coffee, how would you feel if a random guy would whip his dick out or tell her all about his sexual fantasies without her inviting him to do so? If you don't consider that OK, why would you consider it OK if guys do it online? And btw not all guys do that, I am having some excellent conversations and met a lot of nice people (male and female) from this site, they have manners, they weren't raised in a cave, like the ones sending cock shots, shots of their anus, or send me a long list of stuff they want me to do to them, obviously "for my pleasure", most of those things are freaking nightmares. Do you really consider it so strange that women don't want to be wank fodder? How would you feel if gay guys would treat you like that? Wouldn't like it? Well then why should we like it?

NookieNotes -> RE: Can someone please tell the male subs (12/16/2015 1:15:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: respectmen NookieNotes quote: One is about an experience. The other is generic hatred for an entire gender. You missed my point but anyway.... So I guess it's all okay for a male to make any negative generalisation on women and he will be all in the clear of being a misogynist? Cool NONE of the women here have said ALL MEN ARE DO-ME BOTTOMS. NONE. They have said over and over that the men on this site are acting inappropriately. Many of the women whoa re saying that are also happily in relationships. Very different for a single guy to say he'd let all women sink like Nazis because of his experience on this site. It's about individuals the women have encountered versus the whole gender. -- So, for example, when someone writes to me with a dick pic, I respond to them as politely as I respond to everyone. And I do respond to everyone. I also mention that dick pics as primary photos are against the TOS of this site, and that he may get reported. Also, I note that many women don't prefer to see a cock shot until they have gotten to know a guy. I make it clear that it is their choice, and wish them the best. I think these guys are generally a bit clueless, because MOST of them write back a bit surprised, and some abashed. Some get really nasty... well, that's on them.

LadyPact -> RE: Can someone please tell the male subs (12/16/2015 1:50:53 PM)
Going to try to do this without messing up the quote thing. quote: ORIGINAL: respectmen LadyPact quote: Well, at least you know we're laughing. It is laughable that men think we're going to be attracted to the random cock shot Do women find certain ways of expressing sexuality to be attractive that men really don't? Men are different, yes? Why are men always shamed and laughed at for being different compared to women when it comes to sexuality, but if its the other way around, it's misogyny and oppression against women? I think your first question would be exceptionally difficult for me to answer. Being het, there really isn't any expression of a woman's sexuality that would turn me on, so I'm at a loss for you there. Yes, men are different in certain aspects. I think some folks would be surprised that I have kinks that are often seen as more often found as those in Dominant men, but that's probably for another thread. From reading opinions in general, I'm probably one of the toughest people to crack based solely on a picture of a person. (More on this in the demisexual thread I started.) You could sit me down with every issue of Playgirl ever published and it really wouldn't do much for me. Knowing this about myself is why I think it's funny. I am just not a visual only kind of person when it comes to the human body. quote: My point here is that men are always expected to change and appease for women. But when its men expecting women to change and appease for men, it's considered as patriarchy enforcing and chauvinism. Huge area here. I really don't happen to care what gender a person is when it comes to certain areas. When it comes to things like hard limits or who a person chooses not to engage with in kink and/or sex, I'm likely to side with the person who is saying no. You can be any way that you want to be but that doesn't mean your target demographic has to be welcoming to it. I can promise you right now that there are certain (main) profile pics that make my decisions easy when it comes to the compatibility area. Perfectly ok because I know I'm not everyone's best match, either. quote: Do you really think do me bottoms don't exist? I can assure you that they do. Nobody said it was limited to one gender, either. quote: They certainly do exist, no denial there. My whole point is that many to most times men are labelled this, it's likely not to be true. It's likely to be judgement clouded by bigotry instead of reality. That would be impossible for me to say. Are there folks that I see more as do me types at times? Yes. It's not a term that I use a whole heck of a lot but yeah, when folks lead with there kinks, it doesn't generally go well. Approach is really big with me. Any version of people telling me what they want me to do to them doesn't work at all. Scene negotiation and taking orders are two entirely different things. quote: It all stems from a man being in the default position of being guilty until proven innocent just for having a penis. This also follows on outside of this website as I showed in that video. It's a very common mindset to have on men anywhere in society. A very unfair one too as you can see that it can cause more misconceptions than things being true. Similar to how muslims are treated when being under the suspicion of being terrorists. I want to make this statement based on me as an individual. I tell people up front that if they are looking for sexual contact with their BDSM encounters, I'm not the person for them. The reason that I do this is because for some people, BDSM is about the sex. Again, makes a person incompatible for me. I see it as saving my and the other person's time. I'd be foolish to say that male bottoms and s-types don't have sexual desires. The only ones that I know who don't are asexuals, so let's just say that's a really low percent. Have all of the sexual desires that you want. My line is still going to be that I'm not the one who is going to provide them. If you (or anyone, really) find a person who will provide them, I think that's great. Where I see the difference is when folks think it's the responsibility of the other person to fulfill there desires just because they also happen to be kinky.

WickedsDesire -> RE: Can someone please tell the male subs (12/16/2015 2:20:39 PM)
Well that's another genuine profile who deleted itself because of utter fake fookery, or its wife returned home unexpectedly as he was nailing his ball sack to the ceiling I think it’s just me who forever wonders – wonders if his wife was hot, and can bake a good cake

Cuckingcurious -> RE: Can someone please tell the male subs (12/16/2015 2:30:14 PM)
Respectmen, I have a feeling you're gonna talk your head off. The principle of a double standard seems to escape them. They wanna complain about dick pics yet some of them have pretty provocative photos of their own. I see dildo collections etc. Hell men send me cockmail... Do I bitch and whine about it? No, I just delete the message and move on with my life its that simple. Also there are cock pic collectors here very few but they are there. Why is it OK for women to post whatever they want but not men? I have no fucking clue. And let the hate mail begin...

stef -> RE: Can someone please tell the male subs (12/16/2015 2:48:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cuckingcurious Why is it OK for women to post whatever they want but not men? Who claimed it was? quote: I have no fucking clue. A point which has already been sufficiently demonstrated, but it's nice to see a moment of clarity on your part.

LadyPact -> RE: Can someone please tell the male subs (12/16/2015 3:16:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cuckingcurious Respectmen, I have a feeling you're gonna talk your head off. The principle of a double standard seems to escape them. They wanna complain about dick pics yet some of them have pretty provocative photos of their own. I see dildo collections etc. Hell men send me cockmail... Do I bitch and whine about it? No, I just delete the message and move on with my life its that simple. Also there are cock pic collectors here very few but they are there. Why is it OK for women to post whatever they want but not men? I have no fucking clue. And let the hate mail begin... If there is a female on this thread who has a pic of the dildo collection, I would take a shot in the dark and think it would be NookieNotes. And, truthfully, since one of the classes that she teaches is on anal play, it would make sense for her to at least have a shot of some of the toys she might use during her classes. That tends to be true of most of us to do presentations on certain subjects. If I didn't have some wax pics up, would you really expect a munch group to KNOW I could teach on wax? Unlike Nookie, I do not answer all of the email I get here. Most of the pics I encounter are from either a) looking a person's profile when they've written a post or b) the ones that hit my 'who's viewing me' page. The latter is very simple. Click the x by the photo and it goes away. If the former, I'm the one who went and looked, so that's my own responsibility.

Cuckingcurious -> RE: Can someone please tell the male subs (12/16/2015 3:22:42 PM)
Stef, I just seems like a repetitive problem in these forums. We are all here for the same basic reason which is to be able to share our desires that won't go over so well in the vanilla world. I've rejected a few offers but I didn't do it in a nasty way. Two of them are my friends now. Some here missed the point completely and personalized the whole statement that respectmen made. They simply seek to justify their actions instead of saying that's not cool why does this double standard exist? What can be done about it? Eventually if things go well you'll see his dick any way might as well get it over with. If its to small, to big, skinny, fat or whatever then you can just dismiss him based on his dick and won't have to worry about what sort of conversation you might of had with him. Who knows you might of dismissed the perfect guy because he was frustrated and horny. Weather there is intercourse involved or not lets face it its all still about sexual gratification. To those that have a problem with that I suggest a site like e-harmony... Good luck finding a guy there that's into your specific kink or any at all. P.S. none of this is directed towards you. I'm just calling it like I see it here in the forum in general. So please don't get your panties all twisted and go crazy like so many here tend to do.

Cuckingcurious -> RE: Can someone please tell the male subs (12/16/2015 3:39:44 PM)
Ladypact, Sounds reasonable, she's into anal play she's got dildo pics I wouldn't know I haven't looked at her profile. But doesn't it sound reasonable that if a guy is into cbt to have a pic of his cock tied up or whatever? We get portrayed to be all about our cock while Nookie has rubber cock on her profile and its OK. That's the part that I don't understand, I understand if I randomly send you a cock pic as an intro chances are it will be ignored. I'm not an idiot like some here have been quick to call me. I just want to know what's with this double standard? Some of you obviously agree it exists but I see little to no help from them in other posts where the double standard issue has become present. Everyone wants to preach equal rights but I don't see this being so equal..

LadyPact -> RE: Can someone please tell the male subs (12/16/2015 5:35:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cuckingcurious Ladypact, Sounds reasonable, she's into anal play she's got dildo pics I wouldn't know I haven't looked at her profile. But doesn't it sound reasonable that if a guy is into cbt to have a pic of his cock tied up or whatever? We get portrayed to be all about our cock while Nookie has rubber cock on her profile and its OK. That's the part that I don't understand, I understand if I randomly send you a cock pic as an intro chances are it will be ignored. I'm not an idiot like some here have been quick to call me. I just want to know what's with this double standard? Some of you obviously agree it exists but I see little to no help from them in other posts where the double standard issue has become present. Everyone wants to preach equal rights but I don't see this being so equal.. I go a bit higher in her case because of knowing she teaches on the subject. If somebody taught on whip skills, I'd probably expect to see one on their profile. (I tend to have my suspicions that at least some folks with a whip picture don't really know how to throw one but I know for a fact in some cases that's the truth.) You hit something really good here. I separate the difference between just a pic of somebody's penis and what I would call BDSM art. CBT pictures don't bother me in the least. (Since I know there are certain pics that might be offensive to you, I won't go into detail.) I also very much like shots of folks showing off their ink/tattoos. There are a couple of double standards that do exist in my opinion. One is, as a female top, people don't seem to mind pictures of my toy collection (floggers, etc) as they would a male top that they didn't know. There's a guy here by the name of ResidentSadist who also has pics of his collection and people are cool with it because he's familiar to other posters. Another big one seems to be other people in the pics. I really don't recall any of the submissive women saying they like to see shots of other bottoms. Part of this has to do with it throwing up red flags for them in the area of do they have consent to post the pics. I make it clear on my profile and in many of my posts. I have folks who do pictures with me give me some form of electronic communication that I do have their consent to use the shots. If they ever contacted me about wanting to remove their consent, the pictures would come down. I don't really see that as a male top vrs female top thing. It's what I want to do as an ethical person. I'm going to call your attention to my sig line. I am very serious about that. If I don't know the person or we don't know someone in common in a face to face sense, the emails go deleted unread. I am just better off that way.

Baldrick -> RE: Can someone please tell the male subs (12/16/2015 6:11:33 PM)
They ones that get to me is the women who have profile pics of them please other ,en...mid you are looking tommeetmsokeone..l why have an image of yourself chin deep in another mans crotch....mill wonders ever cease

LadyConstanze -> RE: Can someone please tell the male subs (12/16/2015 6:25:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Baldrick They ones that get to me is the women who have profile pics of them please other ,en...mid you are looking tommeetmsokeone..l why have an image of yourself chin deep in another mans crotch....mill wonders ever cease That's a bit ICK, I don't look at profiles much, thanks for reminding me why...

NookieNotes -> RE: Can someone please tell the male subs (12/17/2015 2:46:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cuckingcurious I have a feeling you're gonna talk your head off. The principle of a double standard seems to escape them. They wanna complain about dick pics yet some of them have pretty provocative photos of their own. I see dildo collections etc. Hell men send me cockmail... Do I bitch and whine about it? No, I just delete the message and move on with my life its that simple. Also there are cock pic collectors here very few but they are there. Why is it OK for women to post whatever they want but not men? I have no fucking clue. And let the hate mail begin... There is no double standard in my profile. I keep all of my more "provocative" photos far away from the main profile pic. I also haven't shown my full snatch online, ever. Or to anyone I am not in a relationship with. Your "cock pic collectors" are again, as I mentioned in another thread, probably men pretending to be women online. And actually, it's OK for ANYONE to post what they want, unless it's against TOS. What the issue is, if you approach someone with a cock shot that does not like them, you will lose that contact. Some women will actually get offended, as if you approached them with your cock out in broad daylight. Many women prefer to be approached online as you might approach in real-life public. quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact If there is a female on this thread who has a pic of the dildo collection, I would take a shot in the dark and think it would be NookieNotes. LOL! Damn, not me. Although, I've thought about it. But it wouldn't go here. It would go on my tumblr. Along with this photo: [image]http://www.collarspace.com/photos/1928756p04.jpg[/image] Which, BTW, I posted because I think it's hilarious... I do have a few pics of me with strap ons. Because it is part of what I enjoy, and because the pics are awesome. But again, not my primary, and no actual pussy shots. Tits in one arty piece... But I'm flattered you thought of me! grins quote: ORIGINAL: Cuckingcurious I understand if I randomly send you a cock pic as an intro chances are it will be ignored. I'm not an idiot like some here have been quick to call me. I just want to know what's with this double standard? Pussy privilege. It's a thing. I has it. I know this. However, the flip side that women complain about it true as well. And as soon as you start seeing what we pay for that apparent privilege, you will begin to see how it balances out, over time. And it DOES make a difference if your cock is your primary photo, or your ONLY photos of you (with the rest being internet memes or art). It's subtle, but it does make a difference. quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I go a bit higher in her case because of knowing she teaches on the subject. If somebody taught on whip skills, I'd probably expect to see one on their profile. (I tend to have my suspicions that at least some folks with a whip picture don't really know how to throw one but I know for a fact in some cases that's the truth.) I'll agree with this. However, tasteless is still tasteless, and is subject/open to personal interpretation. quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact You hit something really good here. I separate the difference between just a pic of somebody's penis and what I would call BDSM art. CBT pictures don't bother me in the least. (Since I know there are certain pics that might be offensive to you, I won't go into detail.) I also very much like shots of folks showing off their ink/tattoos. Agreed. I think of it as the difference between seeing a nicely lighted and shown-off chest and the same chest in a dirty bathroom mirror with a mess reflected behind. One is better received than the other. Period.

ReMakeYou -> RE: Can someone please tell the male subs (12/17/2015 5:18:32 AM)
quote: My point here is that men are always expected to change and appease for women. But when its men expecting women to change and appease for men, it's considered as patriarchy enforcing and chauvinism. You're free to post whatever you want on your profile. If your goal is to attract women, it might be handy to listen to what they say. The same applies to women who are having a hard time attracting men. quote: But doesn't it sound reasonable that if a guy is into cbt to have a pic of his cock tied up or whatever? As mentioned before, it's an issue of how in your face the photo is. I know plenty of women who enjoy seeing a good cock pic when they know what's in store. I know nobody who enjoys it when it pops up out of the blue. Having your main photo be a CBT shot is the equivalent of flashing it around indiscriminately. There's also the bit where real people don't BDSM 24/7. They engage in all the mundane little activities that vanilla friends/couples do as well. If all you talk about are your kinks, that does not bode well for being fun in non-kinky downtime. Which applies to anybody regardless of where they lie on the kink and gender spectrums.

Greta75 -> RE: Can someone please tell the male subs (12/17/2015 5:21:17 AM)
quote: So basically, a man is "immature" simply because he is running his sexuality not how a woman would run hers? What if men said women are immature if women are not more like how men want them to be? If a guy has a profile with a dick picture, I move on, and write him off. If a guy contacts me and has a dick picture in his profile, I delete his message and write him off. But what frustrates me is, there are soooo many times where I tell the man clearly that I DON'T WANT dick pictures. I always prompt any man who offers to send me a pic now, that I DON'T WANT DICK PICTURES! Don't send me any, upfront. Then conversations, yadadada, days or weeks later, and then out of no where, a dick picture comes in. And I still get emailed dick pictures. And then they'll get defensive saying that, oh most women love it! How did they know I mean it? Like seriously! That's WHAT I complain about! That's fucked up! I don't know how many men gets forced vagina pictures in their face, despite them telling the woman they are corresponding with to please do not send you vayjaja pictures. I bet almost zero! I believe most women will respect a man if the man tells her, please do not email him vagina pictures or breast pictures of herself! And I honestly believe that IF majority of straight men says that they don't like porn at all and hate looking at nude pictures of women. I mean if this was the GENERAL CONSENSUS among males. Many straight women will probably stop fleshing their bits too. I can't say for lesbian women, since lesbian ladies may like it. I mean, I believe any straight woman fleshing her bit, if it's not because she thinks a man will find it sexy, then I don't know why else she do it. I can't imagine women are like men who wants to keep fleshing their bits just to annoy their opposite gender on purpose.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Can someone please tell the male subs (12/17/2015 6:52:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cuckingcurious But doesn't it sound reasonable that if a guy is into cbt to have a pic of his cock tied up or whatever? Ummmmm.... Nope! quote: ORIGINAL: Cuckingcurious We get portrayed to be all about our cock while Nookie has rubber cock on her profile and its OK. That's the part that I don't understand Again, nope! This is where a LOT of men go horribly wrong. Seriously! As a generality, men are visual creatures, women are mental (as in thinking) creatures. Men will often get turned on by a visual image whereas women want intellectual discourse to stimulate their mind. Men like pictures to excite them and seem to think that women are stimulated in the same way. WRONG!! And although it isn't true across the board, in general, women hate the obvious in-your-face pics. So all those inept men that think by flashing their knobs is a good thing, most women won't - hence the epic fail that we witness across most kink and dating sites. In answer to your opening sentence, it is inappropriate to be flashing your cock as an opening gambit. quote: ORIGINAL: Cuckingcurious I'm not an idiot like some here have been quick to call me. By thinking that it's Ok to be showing a CBT cock up-front just shows how idiotic you are. quote: ORIGINAL: Cuckingcurious I just want to know what's with this double standard? There's no double-standard here. It's not a standard of WHAT to show to attract, but HOW to show it. And that's where many men fall over and fail to understand. Unless the guy is the absolute double of a woman's fave pin-up (and even then there's no guarantee), pics don't work on women. And here's why - Women know that most men like explicit pics - that's what gets them going, so they show it. Men don't understand that women need to be mentally stimulated and need to engage their brain to kick-start them; explicit pics don't usually work. quote: ORIGINAL: Cuckingcurious Everyone wants to preach equal rights but I don't see this being so equal.. This is because you are approaching the problem from the wrong angle. It's not a pic-for-pic equality you need, it's the how-to-get-them-turned-on equality. Same problem but needing a different response according to gender (on average) or, more importantly, the individual person. Let's face it, the whole point of most people coming to these sites is to attract their target for their own nefarious exploits. And there's no bigger attraction than getting your target to think you are the best thing out there since sliced bread. For an opening gambit, women can flash boobs and pussy pics and they'll attract a big initial audience. For men to attract a significant number of women, you need to present mental stimulation like a good profile. When you add in the problems of men outnumbering the women by something like 10-1 or more, men have to show that they are a cut above the rest to attract the female.

Lucylastic -> RE: Can someone please tell the male subs (12/17/2015 6:56:46 AM)
FR. I just had a guy send me a cock shot:) I hovered over the message, it said, "its only fair i send send you a cock pic" Love it... It was a picture of a rooster:) bless him. Must have liked my profile pic:)

LadyConstanze -> RE: Can someone please tell the male subs (12/17/2015 7:16:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lucylastic FR. I just had a guy send me a cock shot:) I hovered over the message, it said, "its only fair i send send you a cock pic" Love it... It was a picture of a rooster:) bless him. Must have liked my profile pic:) It's great when they have a brain and a sense of humour ;)

LadyPact -> RE: Can someone please tell the male subs (12/17/2015 7:19:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ReMakeYou You're free to post whatever you want on your profile. If your goal is to attract women, it might be handy to listen to what they say. The same applies to women who are having a hard time attracting men. This. I never understand why people don't get this. Basic strategies of advertising just aren't this complicated.

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