Andalusite
Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WickedsDesire
They should probably meet only the ones they click with first...lucylastic beat to me that one.
Sadly on fetish sites, swingers,sex sites, most of those 10 men are in a relationship already, and omit that detail from their profiles, and I doubt more than 0-2 per 10 would ever show up. And most men on these places view a women as a hole/object. Single site tend to sit around 50% people married attached in a relationship or using their "friends pictures"
Summary genuine single women looking for a relationship are rare and they have to filter through 100-1000s times the mail/profile any man gets. And married man/bad stereotype adapt and become highly skilled with their words and approaches.
Having said that I have known of a couple of women who met 100-300 per year x a few years. I asked many questions such as if that was me what would you think of me as a human being. I have spoken to women looking to date on mainstream sites and in the course of the week they tell me about their 3 different dates for that week. Again I ask many questions - if that was me what would you think of me as a person, would you think me single, if you were different date number 3-5 for the week how would you feel. nevertheless most common s tory I still hear is hie was married, his wife called turned up at my door....counter arguments can therefore be made that these women are only interested in talkers of nonsense who tell them everything they want to hear, need to hear - what a mess.
I usually meet within 1-3 weeks of initial contact, but the person has to be interesting via e-mail and phone first. I want to make sure we'll have stuff to talk about, and the beginning of a "click," as you and Lucylastic mentioned. :)
I've had two married guys not fess up to being married until we'd set up a date, but it hasn't been nearly as prevalent as you seem to indicate. I haven't had anyone who showed up not match their picture/description.
Crumpets brought up to me about the e-mail flood that he assumed I had to contend with, via the other side. I generally got 10-20 new people contacting me per week, between here and Fetlife. Some of them weren't interesting (just said hi/it was like pulling teeth in an interrogation scene to get 3 sentences out of them). Others lived too far away, or were in a poly relationship and upfront about it on their profile, or otherwise incompatible with me. Of those who were local and traded at least 5 messages, I met about 75% of them. In the 5 months I've been seeking (8 months since I refreshed my profile/logged back in, but I dated someone I met through this site for 3 of those months), I met about 25 men in person, and in two cases, more than one on the same day.
That doesn't mean that I viewed them as just a number. Last week, I had one date that lasted for 4 hours in the afternoon, initial quick meetup to grab coffee, then we walked along the greenbelt park (lots of people around, but beautiful views of the creek, and lots of benches), and lunch. The same night, I went for dinner and a concert with a different guy, which lasted about another 5 hours. It was fun, but exhausting! I was upfront with both of them about it. The logistics worked out that way because I'd been sick and couldn't meet either earlier in the week. I've had several more amazing dates with the guy I met that afternoon, and we've since played at the Citadel and decided to explore a romantic relationship and potentially a D/s dynamic. :) He doesn't hold it against me that I went on a date with someone else the same day we met.
< Message edited by Andalusite -- 2/21/2016 8:59:28 PM >
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RE: Women Aren't Trying So They Are Complaining - 
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(And so will a man who has reached any acceptable level of emotional maturity.) 
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