BlueRoses1111
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quote:
ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
quote:
ORIGINAL: respectmen
I am not talking about "all women". No, not ALL women only want the top 1 percent but surely on every personals website, there isn't a shortage of women who do fall in that category. There are also plenty of women who fall close to it. 100s of men aren't good enough for them while they are just the woman next door.
Women date 'up'. Though what a woman considers 'up' depends on what she personally values.
'Up' has a different definition for a bohemian-communist-artist type, than for a lawyer-career-woman, than for a Biblical-literalist-Bible-belt woman, than for an outdoor-sporty-survivalist-training woman, than for a geeky-gamer-tech-obsessed woman, than for a model-money-and-status-obsessed-trophy-wife-type woman, because they all value different things.
For some women 'up' means dating the biggest, baddest, most heinous, serial killer they can find, even while he's serving out a life sentence. However, if that's what attracts her, she's not going to settle for some petty thief, she's going to want the top 1% of 'bad boys'.
If you're not that, she's never going to be interested, even if you're objectively (sanely) a much better catch than a serial killer serving out multiple life sentences.
All women look for a man who has higher social standing than they do, in the things they value the most. What they value the most will differ from woman to woman, but all women will want the top 1% of men, in the category of things they value the most.
If you're consistently hitting the issue of finding women who deem you 'not good enough' and who seem to be aiming for the 1% of men in a category you cannot attain, you're looking for women who value precisely those things you are not.
You'll never be able to convince them that you're 'good enough' because you are not who they are looking for.
Once you accept that, and start dating/looking for women who are looking for the things you are good at, you'll find women easily, because you will be in that top 1% of men those women are looking for.
If you're not good at anything, and there isn't a single category in which you excel, you ought to ask yourself why you're going through life not valuing anything enough to be more than mediocre in it.
Why are you being so shallow as to expect women to be interested in you for things you are not, instead of finding a woman who is interested in the things that you are?
Men also like to date 'up' btw. It's just that with men 'up' usually has little to do with social class, economic class, or esoteric value systems (which are the things women fall for) and more to do with looks, and how caring/appreciative/nurturing/loving/sexual she is.
quote:
ORIGINAL: respectmen
Look at it this way, one would think that the people who demand most out of the opposite gender, should be the ones under more judgement on what they have to offer compared to the ones that are expecting less. I think that is perfectly reasonable and logical.
Apparently your logic doesn't hold up in the real world. Because most women have no problem finding partners, and apparently you do.
Women are being judged by men, just as much as men are being judged by women. If that wasn't the case, men would settle for marrying/dating any woman at all, instead of having preferences for some women, and not for others.
Apparently a lot of men are judging the women you are attracted to to be acceptable, and fitting of their definition of 'up', and so those women have a lot of choices. Apparently you're a small fish, in a big pond, with a lot of competition that's better than you. Maybe you should change ponds...
Maybe the women you aim for just have more to offer in the category of things men are interested in, than you have to offer in the category of things those women are interested in.
Maybe you should actually evaluate what you have to offer to a woman, and find women who value those things.
Maybe you should actually evaluate what the women you are attracted to want in a man, and figure out why you're not those things, or why you consistently fall for women who value things you are not interested in excelling in.
quote:
ORIGINAL: respectmen
But what I see, its usually men who are expecting less out of the opposite gender and yet being under the most scrutiny with who they are and what they have to offer compared to a woman who claims she has rejected 100s of men.
A woman who has rejected 100s of men has 100s of men interested in her to begin with. As such, she can afford to be selective, because she has a lot of options available to her, and can afford to pick the one that suits her the best.
If she only has very very few men interested in her, she couldn't afford to reject 100s, because doing so would leave her lonely.
If you had 100s of women interested in you, you would be equally selective, because you could afford all those who you didn't like as much, to find the one who suited you most.
Apparently you have a lot of sour grapes about the fact that the women you are attracted to are in high demand, and have 100s of suitors already, with you being at the bottom on the scale of things those women are attracted to.
Maybe you should look for different women, with different values, who are looking for the things you are, instead of women who are looking for the things you are not.
And the award for best and honest post goes to....
There was just so much win in your post, I had to quote the entire thing!
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