RE: Getting over it

RE: Getting over it (Full Version)

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Bearlee -> RE: Getting over it (7/23/2006 8:11:50 AM)
ROFLMBO Oh... THIS is much nicer! Level, can you get that record out again? Huh, huh? Pretty please?

KatyLied -> RE: Getting over it (7/23/2006 8:12:49 AM)
quote: You have a big heart as your Achilles' Heel. I think Bob would agree with that statement.

marieToo -> RE: Getting over it (7/23/2006 8:14:10 AM)
From the other side of the coin, Id not last a minute with a Dominant who got off on pushing my buttons, just to watch me struggle to maintain composed behavior. For as many manipulative submissives who act out for punishment there are as many, if not more, Dominants who like to push the sub to 'misbehave' so he can get his punishment kink on. Give me a break. It comes from both sides. Theres a hell of alot of Doms out there who are merely pissed off at mommy, and women in general and really just want a head to fuck with and an ass to beat. I personally dont want to volunteer to be the psychological life raft of those types either. edited for a typo

Caretakr -> RE: Getting over it (7/23/2006 8:15:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subneicy Kudos to you Caretakr! As an attention whore myself, I often find things to do to garner attention. As a great MASTER recognizes this and corrects appropriately. I am not a masochist, so a swift swat often cures the problem. However, I have noticed with a masochist this is simply foreplay so ignoring them often works better. Although the submissive will be hurt, ultimately you are doing a great service toward their growth. I'm actually much nicer than I type. One past girl called me "sadistic teddy bear". That was one of the ones I recall fondly (they weren't ALL bad) I get a bit conflicted about the whole tough love thing....but if you see a problem that is going to bar thier fullfillment, don't you want to help THEM fix the issue? Even if the improvement is only going to benefit the next guy down the road? Seriously, the only thing I ever asked for was not to be leaned on till I broke. Ya gotta draw the line somewhere.

Caretakr -> RE: Getting over it (7/23/2006 8:17:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: marieToo From the other side of the coin, Id not last a minute with a Dominant who got off on pushing my buttons, just to watch me struggle to maintain composed behavior. For as many manipulative submissives who act out for punishment there are as many, if not more, Dominants who like to push the sub to 'misbehave' so he can get his punishment kink on. Give me a break. It comes from both sides. Theres a hell of alot of Doms out there who are merely pissed off at mommy, and women in general and really just want a head to fuck with and an ass to beat. I personally dont want to volunteer to be the psychological life raft of those types either. edited for a typo I hear ya marie. I always try to keep in mind, just because you can, doesn't mean you should. People have more value to me, than just another toy.

Jasmyn -> RE: Getting over it (7/23/2006 8:18:31 AM)
oh my gawd marie I think I love you! well stated ... sings "if I had a dime, for everytime" ...I've had the displeasure of meeting a 'male dom' who is a mysogynist at heart I'd make like ET and phone home ...

juliaoceania -> RE: Getting over it (7/23/2006 8:56:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Caretakr I'm becoming more and more amused at the outrage being expressed by simply stating that people should be accountable for their own feelings and deeds. I guess there is an attitude of arrogance that really DOES consider Dominants to be superior, godlike creatures who can "fix" any fuck up who happens along. ROFL....I guess that emotional masochism is not reserved for subs alone. I have no problem with doms that are not into punishment.. my Daddy isn't keen on it either... that was not my issue or most of the people that posted in reply It is the lack of acceptance of others that have needs different than your own, calling such people derrogatory names, callling such people losers. Calliing people that feel they want a punishment dynamic "get over yourself bitches".. it just isn't very kind.

Caretakr -> RE: Getting over it (7/23/2006 9:00:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania quote: ORIGINAL: Caretakr I'm becoming more and more amused at the outrage being expressed by simply stating that people should be accountable for their own feelings and deeds. I guess there is an attitude of arrogance that really DOES consider Dominants to be superior, godlike creatures who can "fix" any fuck up who happens along. ROFL....I guess that emotional masochism is not reserved for subs alone. I have no problem with doms that are not into punishment.. my Daddy isn't keen on it either... that was not my issue or most of the people that posted in reply It is the lack of acceptance of others that have needs different than your own, calling such people derrogatory names, callling such people losers. Calliing people that feel they want a punishment dynamic "get over yourself bitches".. it just isn't very kind. A slap gets attention quicker than fawning. My meaning doesn't get lost in the pc bullshit. I take flack for being crude, but the message arrives.

juliaoceania -> RE: Getting over it (7/23/2006 9:05:13 AM)
I do not agree with your "opinion", I never have had a relationship or saw a relationship that failed that we weren't both losers, and we both didn't need to get over ourselves, and we both weren't bitches along the way.. your kink ain't my kink, but your kink you consented to take part in and now blame your former partners and call them names... I will be a little un-pc myself.. you get what you tolerate, and personally I find men that piss and moan about their former partners to be just as flawed in themselves,., they just can't own it.

Caretakr -> RE: Getting over it (7/23/2006 9:08:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania I do not agree with your "opinion", I never have had a relationship or saw a relationship that failed that we weren't both losers, and we both didn't need to get over ourselves, and we both weren't bitches along the way.. your kink ain't my kink, but your kink you consented to take part in and now blame your former partners and call them names... I will be a little un-pc myself.. you get what you tolerate, and personally I find men that piss and moan about their former partners to be just as flawed in themselves,., they just can't own it. I realize my flaws, I can see exactly where and when I went off the tracks. And yes, you get exactly what you put up with. I posted this with the realization that it was going to be a slap in the face to a lot of fantasy thinking. And that I was going to get some in return. No apologies. I get exactly what I intended.

agirl -> RE: Getting over it (7/23/2006 9:10:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Caretakr quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied I think many people, regardless of lifestyle have dysfunctions, some worse than others. A broken person is a broken person, regardless of kink. Any Dom who would repeatedly put up with ridiculous behavior from a sub is not much of a Dom, or perhaps he's a maso. But he's not anything a strong sub would ever respect. Which is what I have said all along. Grow up or hit the road. But of course, that makes me cruel and sad and all sorts of nasty things. Why do subs seem to have this conflict with wanting a strong guy who caves in? Can you see how much of an oxymoron that is? That is the crux. Forget bdsm/lifestyle........ I have a female friend who has screwed her husband over and over for 30 yrs.......She manipulates ONE way , HE adjusts and she just finds another way. The fact is, there is no consensus on WHO decides what and why, for them. They are NOT in unison on ANYTHING ..apart from the fact that they love each other. I don't see respect or even personal struggles ..they both want what they WANT and NEITHER get what they NEED. It's down to mind-games, as and when the circumstances appeal. She WANTS a strong guy..(she says)........yet she is spiteful and jealous that some chap has managed to control and command respect from me; a wayward and head-strong person. She WANTS what I have ....yet wouldn't ever put herself in the position of getting it. She can't understand that I have lost nothing that was worth hanging onto....... but gained much. I get what I NEED......it is NOT what I WANT a fair amount of the time. I also happen to know that what I WANT isn't good for me, on a good amount of occasions. If I start to flannel ...I might HOPE it'll be bought .....but I'm never really surprised when my Master says * Oh, bollocks, don't give me THAT. ...Yes...my princess* side is disgruntled....well, Poor old Me. And NO.......I DON'T like having my princess-bubble pierced but I have NO interest either, in having my inner-princess pandered to. She has to get over herself ....and she HAS found herself in a nappy at times.( She, being me) agirl

Caretakr -> RE: Getting over it (7/23/2006 9:14:35 AM)
You were smart enough to realize that you only submitted to what you wanted, to begin with. Stupid people never realize that they can gain more, by giving. The more you try to just take,the less you get. People get tired of it, and they shut you out. That's the art, in relationships. Opening the doors, by passing things through them.

DesertRat -> RE: Getting over it (7/23/2006 9:15:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied quote: You have a big heart as your Achilles' Heel. I think Bob would agree with that statement. Yes. It's something I actually like about myself in many ways, as long as it doesn't hurt me. Of course, the very definition of an Achilles Heel is that it can kill someone; it's not just a weakness. So...I have a trait or a suite of traits that is sometimes harmful to me. I know tons about codependency and that is not what happens with me anymore. I need to learn more about the human heart. Actually, I don't know just what it is I need to learn. I need to learn what it is that I need to learn. Sheesh...clear? It makes sense seen from the inside, trust me. Bob

Caretakr -> RE: Getting over it (7/23/2006 9:17:46 AM)
You just need to learn to spot who's going to be worth opening your heart to, Bob. Giving is only a deficit, if there's no return.[;)]

shigglyboom -> RE: Getting over it (7/23/2006 9:21:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Caretakr quote: ORIGINAL: sapphirepleasure No. Actually there is an attitude that a dominant who volleys a slew of names (the latest being "fuck up" but we've seen "loser", "bitch" and quite a bit of vicious disrespect) at submissives who have the audacity to have punishment/self-forgiveness issues (all so much "shit", as far as you're concerned) obviously has some pretty severe issues himself. And of course any woman who challenges your vitriolic, misogynistic blather is lumped in with those you label as lacking "emotional containment". Sad, really sad. I could say some really cruel things about you, and your motivations for being here. Because you gave me that ammunition earlier on, before I pretty much tired of you. But I am not going to do that, I will only ask that you reexamine if this will fix YOUR problems- but neglecting your own internal work, that lead to previous failures is not the solution. A master is not going to be able to "fix" you either. I don't know either of you and I don't know what's been going on in other threads or real life that may have led to this exchange, but I find the above threat, Caretkr, to be rather appalling and immature. Surely someone with your self-awareness and reputation on these boards doesn't need to threaten people to try to silence them, or try to gain stature by claiming to have dumped them. Perhaps I'm reading this wrong? Or did you intend us to admire your supposed self-restraint and conclude that the other party is not worth our respect? If so, you underestimate the intelligence of the people on these boards, and vastly overrate your own.

Caretakr -> RE: Getting over it (7/23/2006 9:26:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shigglyboom quote: ORIGINAL: Caretakr quote: ORIGINAL: sapphirepleasure No. Actually there is an attitude that a dominant who volleys a slew of names (the latest being "fuck up" but we've seen "loser", "bitch" and quite a bit of vicious disrespect) at submissives who have the audacity to have punishment/self-forgiveness issues (all so much "shit", as far as you're concerned) obviously has some pretty severe issues himself. And of course any woman who challenges your vitriolic, misogynistic blather is lumped in with those you label as lacking "emotional containment". Sad, really sad. I could say some really cruel things about you, and your motivations for being here. Because you gave me that ammunition earlier on, before I pretty much tired of you. But I am not going to do that, I will only ask that you reexamine if this will fix YOUR problems- but neglecting your own internal work, that lead to previous failures is not the solution. A master is not going to be able to "fix" you either. I don't know either of you and I don't know what's been going on in other threads or real life that may have led to this exchange, but I find the above threat, Caretkr, to be rather appalling and immature. Surely someone with your self-awareness and reputation on these boards doesn't need to threaten people to try to silence them, or try to gain stature by claiming to have dumped them. Perhaps I'm reading this wrong? Or did you intend us to admire your supposed self-restraint and conclude that the other party is not worth our respect? If so, you underestimate the intelligence of the people on these boards, and vastly overrate your own. I was being straight forward with her. We had discussed quite a bit in private, that I will not divulge here. And knowing her past history, I feel that she is getting into this for the wrong reasons. And when I was honest enough to tell her so-you can see the reactions I got. I'm the asshole, for screwing with her fantasies.

SusanofO -> RE: Getting over it (7/23/2006 9:27:39 AM)
Well, I still say to each his own. Personally, I would try to be the best submissive I could be, and don't see myself needing much punishment. But, a Dominant I was with might have a different opinion, of course. But, if that will be the case, that brings me to wondering something else, instead. Question: If we (submissives) are really, really good, can we "cash that in" for extra "playtime" (even "heavy-duty play-time") like using green stamps, somewhere along the line, with our Dominant? I really just gotta know. Besides, we're not even to page 20 yet.[;)] [:D] P.S. I am serious, and not a "tit for tat" person and try to be an unselfish giver (truly). But - what happens if we are extra-extra good? Anything special, ever? Hmmm? - Susan

agirl -> RE: Getting over it (7/23/2006 9:33:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Caretakr You were smart enough to realize that you only submitted to what you wanted, to begin with. Stupid people never realize that they can gain more, by giving. The more you try to just take,the less you get. People get tired of it, and they shut you out. That's the art, in relationships. Opening the doors, by passing things through them. [/quote Yes.........I agreed to live this way, because of a person. I can't take any credit for the fact that I was extremely fortunate to have had the chance. agirl

Caretakr -> RE: Getting over it (7/23/2006 9:39:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SusanofO Well, I still say to each his own. Personally, I would try to be the best submissive I could be, and don't see myself needing much punishment. But, a Dominant I was with might have a different opinion, of course. But, if that will be the case, that brings me to wondering something else, instead. Question: If we (submissives) are really, really good, can we "cash that in" for extra "playtime" (even "heavy-duty play-time") like using green stamps, somewhere along the line, with our Dominant? I really just gotta know. Besides, we're not even to page 20 yet.[;)] [:D] P.S. I am serious, and not a "tit for tat" person and try to be an unselfish giver (truly). But - what happens if we are extra-extra good? Anything special, ever? Hmmm? - Susan If you give joy and happiness to any sane and balanced individual, they will return it susan.

agirl -> RE: Getting over it (7/23/2006 9:42:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SusanofO Well, I still say to each his own. Personally, I would try to be the best submissive I could be, and don't see myself needing much punishment. But, if that will be the case, that brings me to wondering something else, instead. Question: If we (submissives) are really, really good, can we "cash that in" for extra "playtime" (even "heavy-duty play-time") like using green stamps, somewhere along the line, with our Dominant? I really just gotta know. Besides, we're not even to page 20 yet.[;)] [:D] P.S. I am serious, and not a "tit for tat" person (truly). But - what happens if we are extra-extra good? Anything special, ever? Hmmm? - Susan LOL...What is REALLY, REALLY good?............if I'm really , really good....... I get EXACTLY what I'd get if I was just good. If I do what's expected and agreed........ I wouldn't get punished or face any disapproval... I'm smiling because there are times when I've * done my own thing* and I'd quite LIKE it if I could redeem myself by doing a few GOOD things. Nah.... Either I do what's required ......or I haven't. Though, that's NOT to say that sometimes he's not really rather pleased with me. I wonder if he's just a meanie? Regards, agirl

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