RE: Dysfunctional Dominants

RE: Dysfunctional Dominants (Full Version)

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Vancouver_cinful -> RE: Dysfunctional Dominants (7/23/2006 1:07:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WyrdRich What about completely useless, waste of oxygen, hauling their baggage around in a Freightliner, losers, who declare themselves Dominant and expect everyone to ignore their flaws? I really admire people who are facing their demons, head-on, so someone with flaws doesn't scare me. A person who has been through a lot, and is wiser and more aware, and determined to grow is someone I enjoy being around. Scars are just badges of survival. (Untested people may cave at the first sight of trouble...I'd rather know their mettle upfront!) Saying that, anyone who denies thay have issues, expects others to fix them, or ignore the issues...well, they last about 5 minutes in my life. I did the life-saving thing a few times in my younger days...and guess what, drowning people will try to take you down with them. Nope, not going to happen. I have too much self-preservation.

justheather -> RE: Dysfunctional Dominants (7/23/2006 1:13:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Vancouver_cinful \Saying that, anyone who denies thay have issues, expects others to fix them, or ignore the issues...well, they last about 5 minutes in my life. I did the life-saving thing a few times in my younger days...and guess what, drowning people will try to take you down with them. Nope, not going to happen. I have too much self-preservation. Amen, sister. One thing I learned from a very difficult relationship I had in my twenties (I just happened to have it over and over again) is that Anyone who is worth saving will save himself. I can not save anyone. What I can do is enter into a relationship with open eyes and an open heart.

WyrdRich -> RE: Dysfunctional Dominants (7/23/2006 1:17:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MHOO314 And who is the one who will define "dysfunctional"? What are the terms--you have a better house? You make more money? So another is dysfunctional because they live in an apartment, make an hourly wage? Is that the definition? Or because they have issues? What about depth of emotion, compassion, tenderness-what price tag do you put on those? I'm pretty sure anybody who didn't crawl out of the wrong side of the bed looking for a fight could read the sort of language I used in the OP and understand that finances don't have anything to do with the topic. Or did I strike close to a nerve and you feel a need to redirect the argument??

heartfeltsub -> RE: Dysfunctional Dominants (7/23/2006 1:17:23 PM)
Armour, reminds me of a song by Tracy Chapman that i think is called " Remember the Tin Man" about how we so ardently try to guard ourselves from everything that is lurking outside intent on hurting us. A very sad, albeit understandable way to survive, to me, it is not living. There are locks on the doors And chains stretched across all the entries to the inside There's a gate and a fence And bars to protect from only God knows what lurks outside Who stole your heart left you with a space That no one and nothing can fill Who stole your heart who took it away Knowing that without it you can't live Who took away the part so essential to the whole Left you a hollow body Skin and bone What robber what thief who stole your heart and the key Who stole your heart The smile from your face The innocence the light from your eyes Who stole your heart or did you give it away And if so then when and why Who took away the part so essential to the whole Left you a hollow body Skin and bone What robber what thief Who stole your heart and the key Now all sentiment is gone Now you have no trust in no one Who stole your heart Did you know but forget the method and moment in time Was it a trickster using mirrors and sleight of hand A strong elixir or a potion that you drank Who hurt your heart Bruised it in a place That no one and nothing can heal You've gone to wizards, princes and magic men You've gone to witches, the good the bad the indifferent But still all sentiment is gone But still you have no trust in no one If you can tear down the walls Throw your armor away remove all roadblocks barricades If you can forget there are bandits and dragons to slay And don't forget that you defend an empty space And remember the tinman Found he had what he thought he lacked Remember the tinman Go find your heart and take it back Who stole your heart Maybe no one can say One day you will find it I pray (editted to add the lyrics of the song)

WyrdRich -> RE: Dysfunctional Dominants (7/23/2006 1:49:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66 Wow that is sooo weird I used to drive a Freightliner when I drove 18-wheeler OTR.Boy did I have a lot of baggage...On the road for weeks at time had to have all that stuff.I declare Myself to be a Dominant... One more thing....its hard to ignore flaws I dont have. Wait one last thing...I grew up in a dysfuntional family...I dont think I ever grew out of it. I think you can actually pack a bit more gear into those new Peterbilts... Long Haul wasn't a good fit for me (80,000 lbs of road rage...). Laughter is a symptom of a healthy mind so I think you're OK Sassy.

MHOO314 -> RE: Dysfunctional Dominants (7/23/2006 2:10:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WyrdRich quote: ORIGINAL: MHOO314 And who is the one who will define "dysfunctional"? What are the terms--you have a better house? You make more money? So another is dysfunctional because they live in an apartment, make an hourly wage? Is that the definition? Or because they have issues? What about depth of emotion, compassion, tenderness-what price tag do you put on those? I'm pretty sure anybody who didn't crawl out of the wrong side of the bed looking for a fight could read the sort of language I used in the OP and understand that finances don't have anything to do with the topic. Or did I strike close to a nerve and you feel a need to redirect the argument?? I hardly have a need for that, however " quote: What about completely useless, waste of oxygen, hauling their baggage around in a Freightliner, losers, who declare themselves Dominant and expect everyone to ignore their flaws? pretty much takes the argument to one of a different level---There is no nerve here to strike, other than the fact that your financial arrogance flames through.

WyrdRich -> RE: Dysfunctional Dominants (7/23/2006 2:17:09 PM)
I'm not sure where you are getting financial arrogance unless you think a Freightliner is a trailer park thing instead of a vehicle that will haul 50,000 lbs+ up a mountain. My name is as close as I come to having lots of money.

Cloudz -> RE: Dysfunctional Dominants (7/23/2006 2:17:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub Although i will probably get slammed for this, as i have been assiduously avoiding stepping in to these controversies, you can not get past anything that you won't forgive, whether it is yourself that you need to forgive or others. As long as one continues to stoke the fire of his/her own resentments and wounds, new growth is not possible. heartfelt, You expressed your thoughts beautifully. May I borrow the last line to include in my signature, and hang on my bathroom mirror. I am quite serious, one of life's lessons I personally need to work on. Be well.

MHOO314 -> RE: Dysfunctional Dominants (7/23/2006 2:31:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WyrdRich I'm not sure where you are getting financial arrogance unless you think a Freightliner is a trailer park thing instead of a vehicle that will haul 50,000 lbs+ up a mountain. My name is as close as I come to having lots of money. I am well aware of what a freightliner is, but your tone indicates that someone who may be of that ilk is a "dysfunctional" Dominant--its stated very clearly here---so now you change your approach to say it is an ok thing versus--the Dominant who has that kind of life is a schmuck?? I'm a tad confused here--- hmm there is dysfunction among the rich and famous too--perhaps if your point was one of a theoretical discussion, then it should not be associated with "real" things for I can assure you, that dysfunction abounds in all walks of life--but as I have said, one "man's" trash is another's treasure.

heartfeltsub -> RE: Dysfunctional Dominants (7/23/2006 2:32:11 PM)
Thank you very much and please feel free to do so.

Misstoyou -> RE: Dysfunctional Dominants (7/23/2006 3:06:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MHOO314 quote: ORIGINAL: WyrdRich I'm not sure where you are getting financial arrogance unless you think a Freightliner is a trailer park thing instead of a vehicle that will haul 50,000 lbs+ up a mountain. My name is as close as I come to having lots of money. I am well aware of what a freightliner is, but your tone indicates that someone who may be of that ilk is a "dysfunctional" Dominant--its stated very clearly here---so now you change your approach to say it is an ok thing versus--the Dominant who has that kind of life is a schmuck?? I'm a tad confused here--- I think the freightliner reference is suppose to be WyrdRich's metaphor about how much baggage the dysfunctional Dominant has to haul around, not a comment about truckdriving Dominants. But maybe that's just the English teacher in me. lol

WyrdRich -> RE: Dysfunctional Dominants (7/23/2006 3:07:54 PM)
That would be it exactly. Thank you Miss.

MHOO314 -> RE: Dysfunctional Dominants (7/23/2006 3:16:20 PM)
Perhaps a better metaphorical reference may have been more appropriate?

Misstoyou -> RE: Dysfunctional Dominants (7/23/2006 3:19:00 PM)
I suppose he could have said freight train ...

MHOO314 -> RE: Dysfunctional Dominants (7/23/2006 3:31:40 PM)
Interesting how we all interpret postings isn't it?[;)]

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Dysfunctional Dominants (7/23/2006 3:49:45 PM)
While I have had no Dominant..I did have an ex-husband who had sooo much baggage that it would of filled a football stadium..I perservered for 18 years to help empty said bags to make life easier for him as best as I could until one day I realized he loved his baggage,it was what made him..him..it was his crutch,his excuse to never be a better person than who he already was in essence to not have to grow to be a a happier,content man..I am sorry to say after said 18 years I finally could no longer go on...enough was truly enough...be well...Tempting

MHOO314 -> RE: Dysfunctional Dominants (7/23/2006 4:08:55 PM)
I would completely agree, at times we tend to let others baggage wear us down far too much, it is sad too that the world is filled with so much and so many LOVE to carry it around--the best to you and a joyous new life.

scottjk -> RE: Dysfunctional Dominants (7/23/2006 5:51:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Caretakr There are just as many Dominant victims out there as submissive ones. Difference being, the tops aren't allowed to cry about it. Amen to that. I won't relate a story though. Overall, we all have to struggle with our personal dysfunctions. You might know what it is, you might even know how to deal with it, but that just simply does not remove the struggle. There is even stuff often hiding in the shadows waiting to drag you down unawares, and knowing that just adds another level of dysfunction! lol The only advice I can offer is patience, observation and then action where it's warrented.

justheather -> RE: Dysfunctional Dominants (7/23/2006 6:00:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Caretakr There are just as many Dominant victims out there as submissive ones. Difference being, the tops aren't allowed to cry about it. Whose rule is this? Doms don't cry? Do you really believe that, or are you saying that is the perception among submissives, that a "real" dom wouldnt cry?

MistressSassy66 -> RE: Dysfunctional Dominants (7/23/2006 7:24:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WyrdRich quote: ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66 Wow that is sooo weird I used to drive a Freightliner when I drove 18-wheeler OTR.Boy did I have a lot of baggage...On the road for weeks at time had to have all that stuff.I declare Myself to be a Dominant... One more thing....its hard to ignore flaws I dont have. Wait one last thing...I grew up in a dysfuntional family...I dont think I ever grew out of it. I think you can actually pack a bit more gear into those new Peterbilts... Long Haul wasn't a good fit for me (80,000 lbs of road rage...). Laughter is a symptom of a healthy mind so I think you're OK Sassy. Okay truck of choice would have to be a KWhopper or the Western Star,beautiful trucks they can be when all dressed up.I hear ya on the rage...last minute oh wow the lane is closed arrrggghhh! Oh come on...OK...I'm just OK...I was shooting for something with more substance... Maybe something like wow Your such a Goddess....lmfao

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