MasterLon
Posts: 33
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
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care to opinionate???
Within the vast ocean of Domination there are a few that
stand out amongst the waves, there are those that are worthy
to own. These individual’s stand out for many reasons,
and to each submissive/slave there is something they look
for in a Dominant. A submissive/slave will normally choose
a Dominant that they have something in common with; they
will have similar limits, ethics, morals and interests.
Just because a Dominant is different or unique in some manner
does not make them undesirable either, in fact in many ways
it is the uniqueness that makes a Dominant more desirable
to some submissives/slaves. It is not race, or age, gender,
or ethnicity, or appearance that makes a Dominant worthy
to own, it is what is inside of the individual.
There are many things that a Dominant will learn with experience,
such as control, understanding, compassion, consistency,
technique, respect, and safety. There are some things
however that sometimes go with out notice; to me manners,
protocol and etiquette are very important. A Dominant
may have the techniques and safety issues down pat but have
absolutely atrocious manners, or someone may be powerful,
and consistent but not know the slightest thing about etiquette
or appropriate behavior; these individuals may have problems
finding a partner. Without a good understanding of appropriate
behavior one will find it very difficult to make a good first
impression. Also public gatherings are very awkward when
one is not familiar with protocol or acceptable behaviors.
Likewise someone that is new to the lifestyle that is still
inexperienced in many ways will be a hit when he or she expresses
good manners.
I have written a few tips that I think are a good start to understanding
proper manners and etiquette for a Dominant. Public or
Group Behavior
When first meeting someone do not address them as a familiar,
even if someone is a sub/slave it is appropriate to show
respect.
Do not rush up to a sub/slave; it tends to make one appear
desperate.
Walk with pride and dignity; do not flitter around a room.
Do not follow a sub/slave around or crowd him or her; he or
she may think you may mean them harm.
Do not assume that just because someone is a sub/slave that
they are there to serve you.
Remember to say please and thank you, it doesn’t mean that
you are weak or less of a Dominant to show you have manners.
Mingle, talk to everyone, and don’t just hover over one
specific individual.
Do not appear jealous, or threatened when another Dominant
is near, this is a sure sign of insecurity or low self-esteem.
Be yourself, don’t get into a pissing contest with other
Dominants, you should not feel you need to prove yourself.
Ask permission to speak to someone. If you are unsure as
to whether an individual is owned or not, ask. It is not a
good idea to step on others toes.
Do not get offended if someone refuses to talk they may be
under protocol from his or her Dominant and are not permitted
to answer.
Never touch another Dominant’s property. This goes for
toys, and individuals, if you are unsure if someone is owned….DON’T
TOUCH.
Never stare at a sub/slave, it not only makes them uncomfortable
but it may very well scare them away.
Do not use profanity; your choice of words may very well
be what makes you stand out to someone.
Do not raise your voice or yell across the room, just because
you are a Dominant doesn’t mean you have to break someone
else’s eardrums.
It is acceptable to open the door for others, even subs/slaves.
Do not barge through an open door; it will make you appear
clumsy and bullish.
Do not attempt to dominate someone you are not familiar
with, just because someone is a sub/slave doesn’t mean
they are YOUR sub/slave.
Never be rude or show disrespect. If you show disrespect
to my slave you show disrespect to Me.
If you offend someone, it is appropriate to apologize,
do not be too proud to say I am sorry.
Do not make sexual inferences to someone you are unfamiliar
with, teasing and having fun is acceptable but make sure
you know the person before you go to far.
Never assume anything, and don’t be afraid to ask questions.
Do not correct another Dominant; especially in front of
his or her sub/slave, show respect. You can have a difference
of opinion but remember to express yourself in a manner
that will show respect.
Do not assume that all females are submissive and that all
males are Dominant.
Do not consume alcohol or drink to excess, also never attempt
to drink and drive.
Do no loose control; there is nothing that shows a persons
immaturity as a temper tantrum.
Do not trespass within someone’s personal space; remember
trespassers may be shot.
General Tips
Do not assume that your sub/slave knows what you are thinking;
if you need something ask.
Do not interfere with the way another Dominant is treating
his or her sub/slave. You may not understand something,
if a behavior is questionable, then ask questions. If a
behavior appears to be dangerous, it is acceptable to voice
your concerns but do so in an appropriate manner.
Do not ignore your sub/slave. Just because they know what
is expected doesn’t mean they wish to be ignored, or abandoned.
Do not leave your slave without letting him or her know where
you will be. If you must leave them unattended ask a respected
Dominant to keep an eye out for him or her.
Never put your sub/slave in danger, remember he or she is
a precious thing. It is a terrible thing to waste a good sub/slave.
Don’t be wishy-washy, a sub/slave should know what behaviors
are acceptable, do not allow him or her to get away with an
unacceptable behavior.
Be consistent, if a behavior is inappropriate at home it
is inappropriate in public.
If your sub/slave is uncomfortable take the time and listen
to him or her, maybe something has occurred that you are
unaware of.
If a behavior must be addressed immediately take the sub/slave
to a private area and discuss the issue.
Do not strike your sub/slave in frustration or anger; always
retain control over your emotions.
At all times you must remember that you are a Dominant, behave
with honor, dignity, and self-confidence. A true Dominant
does not feel that he or she must compete or try to impress
others. If you are a novice within the lifestyle remember,
so was everyone else at one time or another. We all learn
and grow as time passes, those that are too stubborn to learn
or are too proud to admit that they do not know something
are not going to get very far in this lifestyle. Knowledge
is something to be shared and gathered.
Knowledge is something we all need and desire well some
of us anyway, if your here to troll and abuse, then you only
need a "little" knowledge, to impress a new
sub that knows nothing...subs, that come in this lifestyle
need to arm themselves with as much knowledge as they can
get, before seeking a Dom/me, knowledge, is the KEY word
in this lifestyle, for each of us, knowledge, protects
us from those that may try to lie, to make you believe in something
that just is not so...there is a wealth of information on
the internet, even here in alt, in your local BDSM club,
seek Knowledge first, to arm yourself against trolls and
abusers, learn of the Dom/me, learn what they are, why they
are, whats make them tick...learn the difference between
a real Dom/me and a Fake, read of the red flags, (danger signals)
to protect yourself....then learn of the submissive,
of the slave and of the switch, then once your prepared come
into alt and seek your one, but please arm yourself with
knowledge I have seen so many get hurt simply because they
did not know, they had no idea what they were doing, they
wanted to come in alt and let a dom choose them, to be taught
by them, only later to realize, they have been used and abused,
and they still do not know the lifestyle, after one reads
and studies, the information and arm themselves with knowledge,
seek out a mentor, A REAL MENTOR, NOT A FAKE ONE, MANY HERE
CLAIM TO BE REAL AND ARE NOT..a mentor is a friend....a counselor....negotiator...a
confidant...but mostly a teacher, he/she is not your Dom/me,
nor your Master/Mistress, You do not need to submit to his/her
will, they teach, thats all they do, if your not there to
learn, thats your fault, your being punished by not learning,
what they have to teach, they, (the mentors) do not punish
you or give you the silent treatment...mentors do not play,
they do not have cyber sex, they teach by communication,
hands off type of teaching, they should have realtime experience,
as well as virtual time, they should have most of the informational
sites that are needed, if they can not answer your question
they should be able to look it up or direct you where to go
to get the answer, NO ONE KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT EVERYTHING....a
mentor can be a switch, sub, slave, Dom/me, Master or
Mistress... male or female..they are kind polite and courteous....you
should be able to trust your mentor with everything, even
though they will never ask for proof of this trust, they
do not care what you look like, they will not be in a relationship
with you, they will teach you...only, they teach (IN GENERAL)
about the W H O L E lifestyle not just a certain part, you later
decide what part your most interested in, they do not direct
you to a certain path, that is for you to decide...If a dom
says to you that he is into S&M and will teach you that, walk
away...you need to learn of it all, not just one certain
part, besides you may not be interested in recieving pain...no
one can make you into something your not, not even a mentor,
what you have in your heart and soul is what you are...If
you believe your a Dom/me because thats the feeling you
have deep within you then that is what you are, the same is
true of the submissive, there is no such thing as being a
good sub, makes you a better Dom/me, that is hogwash, or
learning to be a good dom/me, makes you a better sub, thats
also hogwash, look within yourself for what you want to
be, is there, in your own heart and soul, seems I have gotten
away from the subject at hand, seek knowledge, then seek
a true mentor, then seek more knowledge and your mentor
will help you seek your special ONE...goodluck and GOD
BLESS.......MasterLon
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