Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 9:56:43 AM   
michaelGA2


Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline 		i can't answer for anyone else here, just myself

i do not view this as a game and i am not in it for sexual gratification. i have always been submissive, yet finding someone equally as serious about it is like finding a needle in a haystack. i believe there are a few here that are serious, but, not having any real life contact with them (other than occaissional phone calls from a very select few) i can't honestly say who is real and who is not other than taking their word for it.

has this made me bitter? hell yes, i am very bitter over the disappointment in others and i know i should not let others push my buttons in order to get a rise out of me. granted, i have been irrational and unreasonable with alot of my rants and blowing up over type-written words. i just don't think i have the patience any more to continue with this but it's a part of me...it's a catch-22 for me. guess i'm just plain damned.


_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to marksl)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 10:10:42 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		Give this boy a cupie doll!

It's a serous or as casual as you want it to be.


For me: I do take my responsibilities dead serious.  I've not been a casual player just to "get off" on someone. All in all, it IS fun :)

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 8/1/2006 10:14:21 AM >

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to marksl)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 10:11:52 AM   
michaelGA2


Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline 		thing is, i AM serious, finding someone else who is...well...impossible

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 10:11:59 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Saraheli

wrong account...too early to think


Oh the trials of a switch! LOL

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 8/1/2006 10:12:21 AM >

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to Saraheli)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 10:25:07 AM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA2

thing is, i AM serious, finding someone else who is...well...impossible

This site is full of serious people, you're just not who they happen to looking for. 

You come to the table with a significant amount of baggage, an existing primary relationship and very strict limits as to who you're looking for and what you're able to offer.  After all this time, it shouldn't come as a surprise that those self-imposed limitations are going to drastically reduce the number of people who meet your requirements or are willing to accept someone who places so many restrictions on a relationship.  It's simple math, Michael.  Being serious has little to do with it. 

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to michaelGA2)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 10:30:38 AM   
Submotive


Posts: 440
Joined: 9/9/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marksl

i said "spiritual" as i talked about this before one or more people always say "this isnt about sex" so what is it about to them, nearest i can think of is some kind of spiritiual journey unless anyone can explain it better. 

Hello marksl,
For me i find it all a very cleverly disguised school. lol. my philosophy is life is about learning and growing - and so BDSM is just another avenue of learning and growing. Is it a game? Yes and no - just like anything. Is it about sex? Yes and no, just like anything. W/we are sexual creatures and motivated by it greatly. But there is sooooo much more and if you haven't discovered that, then that's really a shame.


_____________________________

Owned by Scotch Master

i would rather continue alone than be permitted to show only parts of myself to my Beloved.

If you're not living as you would like to today, when are you going to start?

(in reply to marksl)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 10:34:30 AM   
breathless1


Posts: 18
Joined: 8/1/2006
Status: offline 		BDSM is the PLAY, so maybe you consider it a game.

M/s, D/s is a way of life for alot of people and is anything but a game.

See life through negative reasoning and become a negative person.  your choice really.

                                                                breathless one

_____________________________

the truth is in the eyes.

(in reply to marksl)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 10:35:15 AM   
michaelGA2


Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline 		that's a cop-out if i ever heard one, stef.


< Message edited by michaelGA2 -- 8/1/2006 10:36:02 AM >

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 11:01:35 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA2

thing is, i AM serious, finding someone else who is...well...impossible

This site is full of serious people, you're just not who they happen to looking for. 

You come to the table with a significant amount of baggage, an existing primary relationship and very strict limits as to who you're looking for and what you're able to offer.  After all this time, it shouldn't come as a surprise that those self-imposed limitations are going to drastically reduce the number of people who meet your requirements or are willing to accept someone who places so many restrictions on a relationship.  It's simple math, Michael.  Being serious has little to do with it. 

~stef


I have to agree. Very few people are willing to become involved with a person, where their needs come second to the other woman or man in your life. The person that becomes involved with you will have their schedule dictated by your spouse. As a submissive, I wouldn't accept that situation. I can only imagine what a Dominant would think of that.

You've added "no strings" into the mix, which to most will read as "I want sex...and don't call me afterwards."

She's right. It has very little to do with seriousness and everything to do with the low number of people that will consider your situation.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 11:08:01 AM   
michaelGA2


Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline 		my profile was written by a Mistress friend of mine formerly of Columbus and has since moved to Atlanta. we talked a great deal before the profile was finalized and She and i felt this was the best, most honest way to word the profile. i'm not certain about other people's profiles here, but i can say this...my profile is probably one of the most honest, informative and direct profile on CM. i do not see honesty as a fault or failure. how many people here can honestly make the same claim? how many hide things "until a later time", which, to be is deceiving to others. see my frustration? i feel i'm being penailzed for my honesty.

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 11:14:23 AM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline 		How is it a cop out?  You have personal limitaions and personality traits that severely limit your appeal to prospective partners.  Are you denying this?

If anything, your claim that you're alone because can't find any "serious" people is the real cop-out.

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to michaelGA2)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 11:18:10 AM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline 		stef does have a valid point- the more you specialize, the more people you will filter out.

She is not being cruel by pointing out a simple reality.

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 11:19:24 AM   
MistressBG


Posts: 38
Joined: 7/18/2006
Status: offline 		I can only speak for myself - in my relationship it is NOT a game, it is NOT a role we play, it is NOT even about sex. We have a Total Power Exchange type relationship. I have never seen BDSM as a game, or as make believe. To each their own, but as for me, it's a lifestyle no different than being homosexual...it's what we choose, it's who we are. That's just my opinion.

(in reply to marksl)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 11:27:03 AM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline
quote:

i do not see honesty as a fault or failure


Certainly it is not fault nor failure.  But it does reduce the number of potential partners as does anyone's honest profile.  The more narrow your requirements, the fewer potentials you will get.  It's a simple fact.  It seems you are very discouraged and I can understand that but keep on being positive.  It is much better to wait and find that special someone who will fit perfectly than to lie or be in a relationship that isnot fulfilling.  Good luck.

[/end hijack]

Re the original post...it's all about how you deal with yourself and your life.  There are aspects of life that are serious by necessity.  There are aspects that become serious when they are over blown.  There are a lot of aspects that can be dealt with lightly.  BDSM is a part of some people's lives and each person will take it how it fits appropriately in their life.  I don't consider it a game.  Sex is not the primary aspect of the relationships I have.  However, I also don't take it so seriously that it becomes a chore.  I do however, take people seriously and relationships in which I am involved.  But while taking the person/relationship seriously, I ensure there is a hell of a lot of fun.

As far as I'm concerned, it doesn't matter whether you consider it a game or not.  Knock yourself out, whatever works for you and all that. :)



_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to Homestead)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 11:28:59 AM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline 		bdsm is a pleasure I add to a good life.

Not my life.

(in reply to MsKatHouston)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 12:09:05 PM   
zumala


Posts: 1121
Joined: 6/16/2005
Status: offline 		I am glad that some people have mentioned BDSM being different and sometimes separate from D/s.  As others have stated, I can only speak for myself and not for the group as a whole.
 
I'll be honest.  I am a submissive, but there is so much to a person that the term almost seems like a blanket one.  Does being submissive mean I have no brains or backbone?  No.  Does it mean I don't have one hell of a temper under certain circumstances?  No.  But there is a decided aspect of my personality that truly longs for a certain person to follow.  I don't submit to just anyone.  I'm much too smart for that.  But I do acknowledge that the urge to submit is there.  I also acknowledge that I have a lot of room for personal growth.
 
So, to address more closely the main thrust of the OP.  I'm sexually devoted to my husband.  I've had only one partner in my entire life, and I don't regret that choice.  My sexuality has been guided by my spirituality in my case.  So... my submission to a Dom, should we ever find one that meshes with us and our relationship, would never be sexual.  Not directly, anyway.
 
I don't have experience with BDSM activities, and while I do have some minor curiosity about it, I won't keel over and die if I never get to try it out.  It's the D/s aspect of things that draws me.  Someone earlier mentioned 'sensual' over 'sexual'.  I agree with that.  It's also structure, at least for me.
 
I imagine that was clear as mud.  I apologize for that.  It's probably because I am still on the edge looking in for the most part.  I haven't yet taken the plunge.
 
zuma

(in reply to Homestead)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 12:16:17 PM   
MissTlTTYMilk


Posts: 142
Joined: 6/17/2006
Status: offline 		i cannot speak for anyone else but in the event i was on the market again and "[taking] this game seriously"...

First criteria of someone that i would "seriously"  invest time with would have the potential, given time and compatibility, to be a future significant other.  Likewise, i would assume the person approaching me whose belief of my being second fiddle was okay (even if very honest and direct--that is not the issue) would  naturally be a major red flag of a big waste of time in my circumstance. If that was the case, i would have to disregard a potential ltr feelings to meet my other needs, and i would feel selfish (place unending cycle here). Dont get me wrong, i do not need a promise of any type of future--there are no guaranties in life under any circumstances.   Honesty is a two way street--if you are honest enough to say i am looking for a second fiddle to my significant other who is not satisfying or acknowledging my needs.  Another person's honest reply might be "no thank you", and others might just run the opposite way with no reply at all.  Regardless, if one chooses to be Dominant or submissive, but refuses to find a significant other who meets his or her needs, it is not a big mystery--you kinda deal your own proverbial hand.  

( poly type relationship where all three were participants and fully involved with mutually agreed criteria would  not apply to my comments at all--that's a whole other ball of wax) 


< Message edited by MissTlTTYMilk -- 8/1/2006 12:17:45 PM >

(in reply to Homestead)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 12:20:07 PM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marksl

Does anyone view this as all a game or is it just me. I have tried to see the deep meaningfull zen like qualities some people see in bdsm but i am at a loss. Instead i see manipluation child like arrogance but most of all fantasy. Somehow if you learn about bdsm buy a whip you are a Dom/me a superior human being incapable to listen to anyone else. If your a sub its hard to reply as your always on your knees. Sure its sterotypes but is this all it is?

Now before hit me with the deep spiritual ramblings on what bdsm should be. Lets be realistic its based in sexual context right. We all do this to get our rocks off. Pretending this is more than it is i want to learn so one day i can say yeah like a come down from ectasy i touched a bdsm god i felt the zen or is all that bullshit?



There is a spiritual reality to the sacrifice and abject worship inherent in slavery, but those with the proclivity of seeking this path for some form of escapism will one day rudely awaken in a Hell of their own construct. Slavery is a time-honored structure of designed exploitation. It is cruel and it is bestial. Its true form strips you of your rights, of your name and of your voice. It promises nothing, save a lifetime of being used for the pleasure and gain of another, and a long road of broken glass to crawl upon should you deviate.

It is spiritual in that it is possession of the most consuming form. You are not your own, but a creature that exists solely for the benefit of another, and in wending your way into this form of oppressive intimacy, you know a deeply carnal and mental satisfaction. In your subjection you have found that long-coveted place; you kneel, aligned with the Universe, stripped from falsehood and aware at last of your place in its great tapestry. This is where the divine is touched for a select few.

For others, it is the opulent illusion and the game of it therein they treasure more. For yet others, slave is a more romantic word for servant to love or lechery.

(in reply to marksl)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 12:31:15 PM   
raiken


Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

bdsm is a pleasure I add to a good life.

Not my life.

 
i agree with this, i am not defined by what i do, take interest in or enjoy.  But for general purposes, it seems to be the norm for society to define others based upon activities, preferences and professions.   A doctor is defined as being "a" doctor, even though that is merely what he does for a living.  On the flip side, i have met people who do define themselves by what they do, which makes me wonder who they would really be if they found themselves in situations where they could no longer do what they do. Just thinking out loud here.
 
~raiken

(in reply to Homestead)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 12:31:24 PM   
WyrdRich


Posts: 1733
Joined: 1/3/2005
Status: offline 		      Ask a room full of Raider fans that question......


     WIITWD has it all; the worlds biggest sexual candy store, churches (fundamentalist AND reform), political action committees, shopping, community classes and lectures, very political beauty/popularity pageants and we throw THE freakiest parties on the earth.  You can get your whole life here if you desire.  Some people do.

< Message edited by WyrdRich -- 8/1/2006 12:42:55 PM >

(in reply to marksl)
Profile   Post #: 60
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078