RE: Is it me or are a lot of subs missing the D/s dynamic ?

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RE: Is it me or are a lot of subs missing the D/s dynam... - 8/7/2006 5:19:46 AM

TNstepsout

Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline

All good answers here. Yes DelRay I think you missed the mark here. If all sub/slaves ONLY thought of serving with no thought of themselves, then what would be the point of selecting one over another? Wouldn't they all just be Robosubs? So the point of having a profile is to tell people WHO you are, not WHAT you are. That's already somewhat established by the little dropdown box.

I admit that some profiles come off a bit harsh. Probably born of frustration when faced with a common shortfall among respondants. Sometimes I consider adding things to my profile or journal and realize it will sound bitchy and leave it out. But I can understand that kind of grouchiness.

(in reply to losttreasure)

Post #: 41

RE: Is it me or are a lot of subs missing the D/s dynam... - 8/7/2006 5:19:52 AM

MmakeMme

Posts: 682
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NC
Status: offline

I put what I am looking for in my profile because I'm not going to waste my time with someone who makes me want to puke every time I see him or have to go somewhere with him in public, or who makes me want to beat him with a stick every time he opens his mouth to me in private. I put what I am looking for because all Doms are different and I want the find the one who makes me feel like a sub, not a combattant.

I am a sub ... but I am not everyone's sub. In fact, I am no one's sub at the moment. I don't have to please you, or you, or you, or you. Only Him.

_____________________________

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~~ Dalai Lama

(in reply to NakedOnMyChain)

Post #: 42

RE: Is it me or are a lot of subs missing the D/s dynam... - 8/7/2006 5:50:44 AM

losttreasure

Posts: 875
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline

I forgot to add...

In light of the many responses you've gotten here, I think perhaps you might owe a certain submissive an apology.

(in reply to losttreasure)

Post #: 43

RE: Is it me or are a lot of subs missing the D/s dynam... - 8/7/2006 5:57:03 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

LOLOLOLOL,

Puella............. I am thinking that your 3rd paragraph could be looked at in 'fashion askance' in other forums some of us frequent......................

Smilingly,
Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to puella)

Post #: 44

RE: Is it me or are a lot of subs missing the D/s dynam... - 8/7/2006 5:57:54 AM

DelRey

Posts: 314
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline

People, PEOPLE !!! Would you please read the entire OP. It blows my mind how people read a fraction of even a small OP, then formulate some wacked out statement that had little or nothing to do with the overall content of the topic.

For those who think the post was about ME finding a sub, the correct bottom paint for a sailboat or even the composition of jet fuel. (non of whish had any to do with the OP)

I'll break it down for you:
A) a sub makes a post complaining she is not getting the attention she wants and is frustrated.
B) I read her profile and find it is pretty selfish meaning ME, ME, ME or I, I, I, with nothing more.

My real point is, whining people (yes I understand it's not just subs) selfishly post about them selves with out ANY information of why they are or what they offer i.e. there not selling them selves at all.. It is very clear to me there needs to be a Dr. Phill or some other dope to show people what message they are sending and the possible reason for their frustrations.

Its kind of like the guy who gets in his boat, motors 3 miles out on the ocean to go fishing, he is there for hours and gets frustrated and finally he leans over the side of the boat and yells at the water, "WHY DON'T YOU PHUCKING IDIOT FISH BITE !?!?!?!?!?" A little later a much small boat drifts right by the man who is fishless. The empty handed fisherman notice this guy has a boat filled with his catch and asks, “how did you get all those fish?” The old man’s response, “I bait my hook with something I know they like”. So my real point is, if you are frustrated, not getting the attention you want and think you deserve, then my question to you is, WHAT IS ON YOUR HOOK THAT YOUR FISHING WITH ?

(in reply to NakedOnMyChain)

Post #: 45

RE: Is it me or are a lot of subs missing the D/s dynam... - 8/7/2006 6:04:17 AM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DelRey

I have reposted this (my answer) to a sub what was a little perplexed she is not getting the attention she wants. I felt this deserved a thread of its own...

It never ceases to amaze me, a submissive posts a profile that has an “ I ” problem, i.e. I like, I want, I need, ME ME ME, I , I, I. After a while us “D’s” are shaking our head and going back to the top of the browser just to do a double check the label, “Yep she says she is a Sub” and yet NOWHERE in her profile does it even hint about her good service, what she has to offer a D or how she will service or take care of the needs of the D that rocks her world. Am I wrong here or are some subs “MISSING” the D/s dynamic ?

Yup ... it really sucks that a submissive has needs and wants and expresses those very things. Makes the "All about me" type Doms annoyed and frustrated.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to DelRey)

Post #: 46

RE: Is it me or are a lot of subs missing the D/s dynam... - 8/7/2006 6:05:56 AM

wantitnow569

Posts: 75
Joined: 4/22/2006
Status: offline

i actually have waited until i was able to cool down to respond to this post made by the OP...as it appears i am the selfish and self centered sub that sparked Your desire to create this thread.....i guess i'm still confused..What exactly are You saying would be more appropriate in my profile if i said something like, "oh how it creates this untouchable desire within me to think of worshiping Your cock with my mouth, and how the desire within me continues to grow and grow and appears to be untouched unless of course You would utilize me for complete and utter service?" (carefully, of course avoiding any reference to the words i or me.......)
if that's in fact what You are looking for in a profile, not only am i grateful that You are not looking at me or mine, but i'm also entirely grateful that You are not my Master.......... as the Master i desire, encourages me to have a mind and to utilize it and does not want a mindless drone!!!

(in reply to DelRey)

Post #: 47

RE: Is it me or are a lot of subs missing the D/s dynam... - 8/7/2006 6:06:37 AM

SexyRed

Posts: 529
Joined: 8/19/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

One of my personal favorites.... hard limits: housework.

???? What exactly do they think is happening here? Ok, so you wanna share house cleaning responsibilities.... more power to ya', but not doing any of it? You can't get by with that in any relationship!

Jewel

Some of us having cleaning women. Some of us do not believe in being someone's maid. Some of us read too many profiles where the Dominant party seeks someone to clean their homes and cook. Some of us like to avoid being contacted by said individuals, so some of us put housework as a hard limit.

This is precisely why I do not list my BDSM interests, because I don't want to be judged for my little box choices.

Some of us would rather spend our precious time enjoying our lives with our partner and not cleaning houses.

I think there are many Dominants who miss the point of all of this. There is no "true" or one way to be. We all have our preferences and if you are interested enough in getting to know someone beyond the parameters of a little box or clicked off listings on collarme, then you might find what you want.

And, no, I am a sub and I am not missing any point whatsoever; the only point that matters is what I believe the D/s dynamic to be in my personal relationships and how I work that out with my partner.

< Message edited by SexyRed -- 8/7/2006 6:10:45 AM >

_____________________________

A trucker will slow down for a blonde, stop for a brunette, but back up 500 yards for a redhead!

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

Post #: 48

RE: Is it me or are a lot of subs missing the D/s dynam... - 8/7/2006 6:13:13 AM

DelRey

Posts: 314
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wantitnow569

i actually have waited until i was able to cool down to respond to this post made by the OP...as it appears i am the selfish and self centered sub that sparked Your desire to create this thread.....i guess i'm still confused..What exactly are You saying would be more appropriate in my profile if i said something like, "oh how it creates this untouchable desire within me to think of worshiping Your cock with my mouth, and how the desire within me continues to grow and grow and appears to be untouched unless of course You would utilize me for complete and utter service?" (carefully, of course avoiding any reference to the words i or me.......)
if that's in fact what You are looking for in a profile, not only am i grateful that You are not looking at me or mine, but i'm also entirely grateful that You are not my Master.......... as the Master i desire, encourages me to have a mind and to utilize it and does not want a mindless drone!!!

Should have waited just a little longer. LOL

I was not identifying you personally, I appologize if you took it as though I was writing to you or about you, I WASN'T. I was speaking in general as this is a comon issue around here.

< Message edited by DelRey -- 8/7/2006 6:16:22 AM >

(in reply to wantitnow569)

Post #: 49

RE: Is it me or are a lot of subs missing the D/s dynam... - 8/7/2006 6:13:15 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

When I am in seeking mode and looking for a Ds dynamic I am thinking about me me me...I am thinking about my wants and my needs and my desires. You see, when I was looking I had the attitude that there was no one in my life yet, and once they became a part of my life I was going to be the one doing the larger part of the compromising. It is all about me before it can become about you. Yes this is selfish, but I find many dominants demand selflessness from submissives... might as well find the best deal we can before we submit.

I had an attitude in my profile when Sinergy first emailed me. I had this "I deserve the best Dom in the whole world" mentality. I spelled out my assets and demanded that the person that contacted me merit a response back. I had the attitude, "I ain't your submissive and unless you are something special I ain't likely to become yours either".....It was all about me and I had no trouble finding a bevy of Dominants that understood that and knew that it would become all about them if I chose to be their submissive.

I am highly service oriented toward my Man, I would suggest that any submissive be a selfish little bitch about handing over a submissive attitude to anyone that hadn't earned one. It is all about the submissive in the beginning before she chooses someone. It becomes all about the two of them (or more if poly) once the submissive submits.

I would think there are other reasons she is not getting the attention she wants, because I never spelled out how service oriented I am in a profile and I never had a trouble finding an interested man. Most of them weren't for me, but all I needed was one...

Just my view

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to DelRey)

Post #: 50

RE: Is it me or are a lot of subs missing the D/s dynam... - 8/7/2006 6:19:28 AM

DelRey

Posts: 314
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline

I should have been in talk radio....... the lines are smokin....

Next caller, your on the air....

LOL

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 51

RE: Is it me or are a lot of subs missing the D/s dynam... - 8/7/2006 6:40:14 AM

Lordofyou

Posts: 3
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

I'd like to make an observation here and maybe I am making an assumption about what DelRey was saying. First let me say, I love submissives who have opinions about who they are and what they seek. I like them strong in the vanilla world, and ultra submissive in the D/s world, though a touch of sassiness now and then can be fun and enjoyable. Second, let me say, I totally think I understand what DelRey was saying. I too have read many, many profiles of submissives on this site who only speak of what they expect and desire and say absolutely nothing about why I as a Dominant would want them as my submissive. I too, have many, many times scrolled back to the top to see if I was reading a submissive's profile. I beieve what DelRey is saying is that its fine for s submissive to have wants, that is human nature, but also, if you want to seek a Dominant, its also nice to put why you would be a great submissive to own in your profile. I swear, many submissives profiles are more demanding and expectant then the Dom's and Domme's profiles. That said, I don't see why DelRey is being beaten up for expressing an opinion, especially since I would bet it is shared by many Dominants on this site. I as a Dom/Master always, I repeat always am concerned about my submissive's wants and needs. I consider it part of my job as a Master to meet those needs by integrating them within my needs and desires. Sometimes that isn't very easy, but the effort is always made. A BDSM or D/s relationship is no different then any other human interaction. It is a 2-way street. Each side has to bring something to the table, and each side has to adjust, in order to make it work.

(in reply to DelRey)

Post #: 52

RE: Is it me or are a lot of subs missing the D/s dynam... - 8/7/2006 6:51:27 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

We all have needs, wants and desires that need to be met for us to be happy in a relationship, whether we're Dominant or submissive. They're here seeking a relationship that makes them happy and until they're in a relationship, the focus is their own needs. Identifying your needs within a relationship is actually a major step in having a healthy relationship. Personally, I'd be wary of someone's profile is all about something other than what they're looking for and who they're looking for.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to NakedOnMyChain)

Post #: 53

RE: Is it me or are a lot of subs missing the D/s dynam... - 8/7/2006 7:00:21 AM

Kree

Posts: 118
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline

Why exactly should a submissive state all the various things she would do to please? Post a submissive profile sometime and put things that you like having done for you and you will be besieged by morons claiming to be dominants who "have the exact same interests". I discovered how many morons are out there when I had a screen name for about 2 days that was Makaira. Makaira is Greek or Latin for Blue Marlin. Every doofus dickweed that saw the name tried to message me with his prowess... until I told them to read the profile not the name.
Anyone who needs a submissive to spell out everything they can offer has a very limited vision of submission and is ON a mission to find an easy path to to finding a partner. Why ask for a roadmap to be offered to the world when it is the dominant's job to ask questions, guide, influence, and bring forth the qualities that they seek? To me, anyone who needs a roadmap to make it easy, is too lazy to be a dominant or too jaded to see the endless possibilities that await someone who puts the time and effort into revealing what is inside a submissive.

_____________________________

Author of "Nytewhispers"

Power whispers, it has no reason to yell

(in reply to DelRey)

Post #: 54

RE: Is it me or are a lot of subs missing the D/s dynam... - 8/7/2006 7:14:33 AM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

quote:

Once your face to face, honey, it isnt anything like the storybooks.

Ain't that the truth! AMEN!

_____________________________

(in reply to NakedOnMyChain)

Post #: 55

RE: Is it me or are a lot of subs missing the D/s dynam... - 8/7/2006 7:14:38 AM

FirmhandKY

Posts: 8948
Joined: 9/21/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DelRey

... and find it is pretty selfish meaning ME, ME, ME or I, I, I, with nothing more.

My real point is, whining people (yes I understand it's not just subs) selfishly post about them selves with out ANY information of why they are or what they offer i.e. there not selling them selves at all.. It is very clear to me there needs to be a Dr. Phill or some other dope to show people what message they are sending and the possible reason for their frustrations.

Delrey,

Sometimes, what a person posts or puts into their profile unconsciously reveals a lot about themselves.

My gut feeling is that the way you posted this question:

1. Bothered a lot of subs (and some "doms" as well), (waves)
2. Gave them a picture of who you are, that perhaps you didn't intend,
3. Got replies that address things other than the apparent topic because other issues were seen as the real problem.

I can't say that I disagree with them.

When people are telling you something that you don't want to hear, it doesn't mean they are right, but it certainly behooves you to pay a lot of attention to figure out why they are saying what they are saying.

Sometimes, when you do that, you learn important lessons.

FHky

_____________________________

Some people are just idiots.

(in reply to DelRey)

Post #: 56

RE: Is it me or are a lot of subs missing the D/s dynam... - 8/7/2006 7:33:39 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DelRey

I have reposted this (my answer) to a sub what was a little perplexed she is not getting the attention she wants. I felt this deserved a thread of its own...

It never ceases to amaze me, a submissive posts a profile that has an “ I ” problem, i.e. I like, I want, I need, ME ME ME, I , I, I. After a while us “D’s” are shaking our head and going back to the top of the browser just to do a double check the label, “Yep she says she is a Sub” and yet NOWHERE in her profile does it even hint about her good service, what she has to offer a D or how she will service or take care of the needs of the D that rocks her world. Am I wrong here or are some subs “MISSING” the D/s dynamic ?

I went and read your profile, DelRey. It seems to me that while you are telling readers what you'd like in a submissive, you also do a pretty good job of stating what you will do...what you would like the relationship to be. A fairly well-written profile with a good try at being evenhanded in stating your needs, wants and desires...a statement of what sort of submissive you seek...and a recognition of the needs/wants/desires within the submissive that would most strike a chord in you.

Many submissives do just as you note...they tend to make the profile all about them. When you start a conversation with some of them, you find that they do so for a reason (or reasons) and that there is much more there worth getting to know about. I know I have found this to be true recently and was pleasantly surprised And they have found the reasoning behind my statements about the sort of situation you are encountering to be...at least somewhat, anyway

... true. There are some though who fit the complaint. I've dealt with a couple of them and their reasoning process just didn't ring true with me...~shrugs~...you can argue with them until you're blue in the face and won't get anywhere.

(in reply to DelRey)

Post #: 57

RE: Is it me or are a lot of subs missing the D/s dynam... - 8/7/2006 8:14:58 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DelRey
A) a sub makes a post complaining she is not getting the attention she wants and is frustrated.

Wait a sec. Your OP says that she was "a little perplexed about the attention she was getting."

This is a vague statement and could be interpreted in a myriad of ways. Your statement NOW that she was "complaiing she is not getting the attention she wants" is a far stronger statement than the one you originally made, with a far darker tone of interpretation.

quote:

B) I read her profile and find it is pretty selfish meaning ME, ME, ME or I, I, I, with nothing more.

I'll have to repeat what others have said- doms who want to just shame or manipulate someone into denying who they are so that the doms can just get what they want really get annoyed by someone who won't budge on who they are and what they need.

Now, I'm not denying these basic points- relationships ARE about fulfilling everyone, submission IS about letting another have authority over you, and a persons attitude of "If you don't make me happy all the time, then you'll get lost" is generally not a positive one.

quote:

My real point is, whining people (yes I understand it's not just subs) selfishly post about them selves with out ANY information of why they are or what they offer i.e. there not selling them selves at all.. It is very clear to me there needs to be a Dr. Phill or some other dope to show people what message they are sending and the possible reason for their frustrations.

What about me? I think my profile actually fits into this description completely. And yet....it's not been a problem.

The fact is there's a difference between telling someone "Your approach will likely be taken as selfish and unappealing" and telling someone "You completely miss the mark on what submission is because you talk about yourself and what you want instead of giving me what I want."

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to DelRey)

Post #: 58

RE: Is it me or are a lot of subs missing the D/s dynam... - 8/7/2006 8:37:42 AM

NastyDaddy

Posts: 957
Joined: 9/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

The fact is there's a difference between telling someone "Your approach will likely be taken as selfish and unappealing" and telling someone "You completely miss the mark on what submission is because you talk about yourself and what you want instead of giving me what I want."

Haven't gotten to that part yet.... still dealing with the needs/wants/demands of the potential sub....

Either way you sugar coat the former two examples... same difference. There is a proliference of demands and some are amusing while others really infer reverse financial domination... allowances and wanting their Dom to have lots of money so they can have lots of fun... typical press-to-test ludicrous shit.... along with pining and whining... its all there, despite the rationale or PC coating.

It's ironic all the individual bubbles and concepts of submission that have been bent, twisted, bumped and some even bruised by the topic of apparent malcontents and gold diggers among us, using submission as a vehicle as opposed to a lifestyle... I'm done.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 59

RE: Is it me or are a lot of subs missing the D/s dynam... - 8/7/2006 9:49:50 AM

raiken

Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

Well, the ones that crack me up are the challengers." Are you man enough or Dom enough to tame me"? Sorry, but life is too short to waste time on these type of subs.

The above is YOUR perrogative, and i respect it. However, i would like to make an honest attempt to share just mine, and please understand that i may use a bit too many words, for it is hard to put my deeper senses and feelings into the words that will be just right.

For me, anything worth anything in life is worth fighting for, working for, and pursuing. i have found that when things are handed to me, or come just too darned easy, and i don't have to work for any of it, or put any time in, i get bored or restless, for i need to be engaged, challenged, taken to the edge. This is just me. i need to have that dance, courtship and have the strength of my will, intellect and resolve put to the test.

i don't surrender easy, i don't trust easy, i don't believe in mere words easily. i look for action behind the words. When i give my all, i take that seriously, and i don't care about how short life is in this area. i will not let myself fall into the hands of one that doesn't wish to accept ALL of the person i am. i am very protective of my vulnerable lil girl inside.  It is the journey, rather than the end result that i thrive upon, and in which i build a solid connection. That is just the person i am and i know it, and do not try to hide it. i am real and true to myself, and that means keeping it real with others.  i respect others who take the time to do the same for me. If that means i don't *fit* in nicely with the general consensus, than so be it.

i am one who uses this line in the very beginnings, at the friendship stages. i express myself this way for many reasons. First one is, to weed out those who will not understand the deeper meaning and depth contained in, and that is behind the words of that one statement.

For if they can't understand or won't bother themselves to understand, or show no further interest, i know we will not be compatible.   i have learned that non-compatibility as people first, even though the M/s area may be great, will kill my spirit inside, and kill a relationship. i need the rest of me to be acknowledged, nurtured, accepted, desired, and understood. i need someone who is engaging, inspiring and challenges me to step up, and hopefully as we do the dance, the same will be true of me, for the good of the other person involved. i need to be accepted as a whole person in my entirety and not just in the M/s part, for to neglect the other parts of me would be emotional abuse in the form of neglect. i have been there done that, and have learned my lessons very well. i wll no longer dumb myself down, or make myself appear weaker, when another finds that part of me intimidating. i need someone who wishes to Master ALL of me, and not just in the M/s dynamic.

i know myself extrememely well. i have taken the time to figure out what i need to thrive in a relationship. i put a lot of work into this, to make it EASIER for both myself and others, to decide if i am a person they wish or are interested in making a connection with. i don't have any surprises, i am upfront. There are depths of feelings, desires and emotions behind that simple statement. A person will either "get it" with all the underlying reasonings, understandings, and draw understanding from their own life experience, or they will not. For me, it is about finding another who is on the same page.

Those who don't get it, or share negative thought toward the real and deeper meaning, or who totally misunderstand me from the get go, are those i respectfully decline, for i know i will not be accepted by those folks, the way i need in order to completely surrender, which is my ultimate desire.

So when i use that one-liner, this is what it means for me. It is all about surrender, and fulfilling that ultimate desire. Surrender to me, means that i am no longer in ownership of the control i once possessed. For i cannot surrender up something that i have never owned in the first place. But i am very protective of what i own, so to surrender means that i have been conquered.  That person is now in possession, and has shown me that i can trust them, for they have taken the time and made the effort to show me that i can be safe with them, for they really do want all of me, or they wouldn't have bothered themselves.  That is something i greatly respect and admire in another. i am the same way, i will put in the time it takes if i feel that the other person is really whati desire.

i have not met anyone yet, who puts time and energy into anything they do not wish to eventually own or highly benefit from, or fully enjoy the reward. i value myself, and if that is unappealing to others, than i make no apologies, for i believe that we should all highly value ourselves. So, in order for me to feel safe to fully surrender, it is because it is the only thing left for me to do, i am left with no other alternative BUT to surrender. Once i surrender, it is with my everything, or not at all, i can't do half assed. So i take this very seriously. i have learned i am responsible for my own happiness first, before anyone else.

Now this is just about finding the right person for me to become serious with. When i am just making friends or other relationships, i simply connect and enjoy with their matching energies and its all good, but i still share this part of myself so they know upfront about who i am, and how my mind works. i currently serve and love a Master part time in an LDR. He has another living with him that is 24/7, but he still is pursuing me, because we greatly enjoy a strong intellectual bond. He has asked me to stay connected to him. He knows i am not fully attracted to him in the physical sense, and i have to be attracted in all areas in order to fully surrender. i have always been respectfully and gently honest with him, and yet he makes the descision to keep what we have together, with full knowledge that it may never happen with me inthe way he wishes. And because of this acceptance i have with him, i will never do anything to hurt or dishonor him. He has even told me that if i find another who i feel has the means to take my control from me, and bring me to full surrender, simply to ask him permission, and he wishes to still remain connected. He has my utmost loyalty and respect as both a Master and a person.

It is such a wonderful thing to be fully understood and accepted by another without having to be asked to change the person i am. Which is not the same as changing habits and certain behaviors..

i just felt to share this here, for i have many who judge and criticize me for my honesty and for the person i am. i don't do that to others, i respect the diversity.

There are many reasons and life experiences that brought me to my current state of mind, feelings and thinking. The one who wishes to know more will take the time, simple as that. The doors of respect always swing both ways. i always give others time and my best undertanding when getting to know them, whether it is for friendship or something more.  Words are the least understood forms of communication. In fact i have learned and observed, that only about 7% of our communication is through words, the rest is more phsyically and energetically subtle. Thank you to those of you who have taken the time to read this, and a greater thank you to those who have taken thte time to understand it. *smile

~raiken

(in reply to Estring)

Post #: 60

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Is it me or are a lot of subs missing the D/s dynamic ?

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