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RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/12/2006 7:11:19 AM

LadyAlexa

Posts: 141
Joined: 1/2/2005
Status: offline

So many aspects to bdsm; so many aspects to D/s. My friends in the lifestyle range from fun D/s in the bedroom to bdsm when they want and then some are TPE. I myself have had different levels of D/s relationships with different subs.
Not many though.....online here....actually read a full profile and understand what is meant. Communication is always the big key; understanding the true meaning within the communication is the next key.

I go by the SOAP theory:
to Serve a Domme in the ways She wishes
to Obey a Domme knowing She is in charge
to Adore a Domme, always keeping in mind that She is the one who decides
to Please a Domme in how She wishes to be pleased

_____________________________

Lady Alexa
[amber]

Submission is key not gender.

GLBT approved.

(in reply to TheOriginalBitch)

Post #: 41

RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/12/2006 7:12:36 AM

LadyAlexa

Posts: 141
Joined: 1/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jasmyn

The good news though...behind some of them approaches are some very slavish boys.

very true. As TammyJo says....a good training period sure helps.

_____________________________

Lady Alexa
[amber]

Submission is key not gender.

GLBT approved.

(in reply to Jasmyn)

Post #: 42

RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/12/2006 7:15:23 AM

LadyAlexa

Posts: 141
Joined: 1/2/2005
Status: offline

Just keep trying! For every sub out there...who is truly sub...there is a Domme, although she might already have one or two other subs. That is where I find a lot of subs draw the line, they don't want to serve with other subs, they want to be number one. They, they, they. selfish? Course lots of folks are very content and happy with one total partner, some enjoy more. In the course of time, folks can change that is for sure.

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

Whenever I've approached someone it's had nothing to do with sex, but about either submission, service and/or slavery. The problem is that I seem to be traveling up a raging river trying to speak up and be heard over the screaming voices of those who see bdsm as another term for "easy sex", so that no matter how sincere, no matter how much experience, and no matter how much I pursue, even getting the time of day is practically impossible. So the screamers win out because they're playing the old "ask enough women to have sex with you and eventually one will say yes" game. When two hundred of those men are rushing at any available woman (and each one that exists, multiplying like the hair commercial of "and she told two friends, and so on and so on....), the few of us who gently pursue maybe one or two women in a few month period after having done our homework and figuring out we're right for each other, get blown away in the wind.

_____________________________

Lady Alexa
[amber]

Submission is key not gender.

GLBT approved.

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 43

RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/12/2006 7:27:06 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

This is why I have lesbian as my sexual orientation!

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LadyAlexa)

Post #: 44

RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/12/2006 8:00:57 AM

jonathan

Posts: 196
Joined: 8/5/2004
Status: offline

Thank You to TheOriginalBitch and Homestead for Your kind words. Homestead is quite right about emoting versus serious thought, i guess it's the difference between trying to live a fantasy and just live your self. i didn't always feel the way i do now, i grew into it.

Good luck to Those still seeking, we are out there. One barometer that might work is when the service You receive is as effortless as mine is to my Goddess. i would think it obvious to tell whether or not it comes from the heart and with joy.

_____________________________

jonathan
http://www.slaveregister.com/000-515-587

"But in purple, i am stunning!"
"Before You slip into unconsciousness, i'd like to have another kiss, another flashing chance at bliss, another kiss, another kiss"

(in reply to Homestead)

Post #: 45

RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/12/2006 1:58:13 PM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jonathan

Thank You to TheOriginalBitch and Homestead for Your kind words. Homestead is quite right about emoting versus serious thought, i guess it's the difference between trying to live a fantasy and just live your self. i didn't always feel the way i do now, i grew into it.

Good luck to Those still seeking, we are out there. One barometer that might work is when the service You receive is as effortless as mine is to my Goddess. i would think it obvious to tell whether or not it comes from the heart and with joy.

Not to pop your or anyone else's ballon, but its somewhat unbecoming to croon as some sort of robo-I-got-what-it-takes submissvie when the rubber hasn't even hit the road yet. Not to be a wet blanket, but you've met GDG one time in the flesh. You've talked on the phone. You've exchanged emails. Right now, you are of one mind.

All well and good, but you're a long way from pontificating "how its done," or how successful you have been or how 90% of the other submissives out there don't have a clue. Some subs are like Karboncopy, who doesnt' view BDSM as a service-only proposition. He might be looking for something a little more personal and fun than that. He's well within his justifiable rights to do so.

As for you, I wish you well and hope you can keep sharing valuable insights into what the male slave to FEMDOM thing is all about, but I also want to respectfully point out that the last great LDR that started here and had some notoriety on the CMMB crashed and burned. If you would have read the posts pertaining to that early on, you would never have guessed it would have ended so poorly. So, be mindfuld to keep the cart behind the horse.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 8/12/2006 2:41:08 PM >

(in reply to jonathan)

Post #: 46

RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/12/2006 4:39:51 PM

bringmetomyknees

Posts: 5
Joined: 1/29/2006
Status: offline

I must say after reading all the comment, many Mistress should ask about what it is there selling. Look at the profiles and tell me that the way some are dressed, sexy outfits...what do you think your going to get? Have you ever noticed on collarme that many profiles show half naked women and yet none of men? Why is that? Because thats what collarme promotes as well. I think its rather funny...same old steriotypes.

(in reply to golfguy)

Post #: 47

RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/13/2006 10:10:13 AM

joyinslavery

Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: jonathan

Thank You to TheOriginalBitch and Homestead for Your kind words. Homestead is quite right about emoting versus serious thought, i guess it's the difference between trying to live a fantasy and just live your self. i didn't always feel the way i do now, i grew into it.

Good luck to Those still seeking, we are out there. One barometer that might work is when the service You receive is as effortless as mine is to my Goddess. i would think it obvious to tell whether or not it comes from the heart and with joy.

Not to pop your or anyone else's ballon, but its somewhat unbecoming to croon as some sort of robo-I-got-what-it-takes submissvie when the rubber hasn't even hit the road yet. Not to be a wet blanket, but you've met GDG one time in the flesh. You've talked on the phone. You've exchanged emails. Right now, you are of one mind.

All well and good, but you're a long way from pontificating "how its done," or how successful you have been or how 90% of the other submissives out there don't have a clue. Some subs are like Karboncopy, who doesnt' view BDSM as a service-only proposition. He might be looking for something a little more personal and fun than that. He's well within his justifiable rights to do so.

As for you, I wish you well and hope you can keep sharing valuable insights into what the male slave to FEMDOM thing is all about, but I also want to respectfully point out that the last great LDR that started here and had some notoriety on the CMMB crashed and burned. If you would have read the posts pertaining to that early on, you would never have guessed it would have ended so poorly. So, be mindfuld to keep the cart behind the horse.

DITTO (that 90% crap just ticked me off!)

_____________________________

"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 48

RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/13/2006 3:59:03 PM

Tentayne

Posts: 7
Joined: 7/7/2006
Status: offline

forgive me if I'm out of line, but it seems to me that FAR too much generalisation is going on here. The original post was about "slaves"... then it turned to "subs"...then "bottoms". I am new here and to the bdsm lifestyle... and trying to soak up as much knowledge as I can. It would be really nice if I could find a thread that doesn't degenerate into something it wasn't meant to be.

(in reply to joyinslavery)

Post #: 49

RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/13/2006 8:51:14 PM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tentayne

forgive me if I'm out of line, but it seems to me that FAR too much generalisation is going on here. The original post was about "slaves"... then it turned to "subs"...then "bottoms". I am new here and to the bdsm lifestyle... and trying to soak up as much knowledge as I can. It would be really nice if I could find a thread that doesn't degenerate into something it wasn't meant to be.

Yes, please tell us how to run a message board, we really don't have clue. If things get any worse and degenerate into massive confusion, blurring the lines between sub and slave, service and exploitation, sex and message, or pony play and bestiality......please immediately report such misdirected ramblings to the moderators.

God knows its completely intolerable. You really shouldn't have to put up with it.

(in reply to Tentayne)

Post #: 50

RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/13/2006 9:11:06 PM

Tentayne

Posts: 7
Joined: 7/7/2006
Status: offline

I knew it would be misinterpreted. Get a grip and perhaps TRY to understand what I was trying to say. Everyone gets so defensive without really knowing or even attempting to understand others. It's really sad.

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 51

RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/13/2006 9:14:56 PM

joyinslavery

Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tentayne

I knew it would be misinterpreted. Get a grip and perhaps TRY to understand what I was trying to say. Everyone gets so defensive without really knowing or even attempting to understand others. It's really sad.

I'd say he pretty much nailed it.

_____________________________

"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

(in reply to Tentayne)

Post #: 52

RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/14/2006 2:01:58 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tentayne

forgive me if I'm out of line, but it seems to me that FAR too much generalisation is going on here. The original post was about "slaves"... then it turned to "subs"...then "bottoms". I am new here and to the bdsm lifestyle... and trying to soak up as much knowledge as I can. It would be really nice if I could find a thread that doesn't degenerate into something it wasn't meant to be.

Yes, please tell us how to run a message board, we really don't have clue. If things get any worse and degenerate into massive confusion, blurring the lines between sub and slave, service and exploitation, sex and message, or pony play and bestiality......please immediately report such misdirected ramblings to the moderators.

God knows its completely intolerable. You really shouldn't have to put up with it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tentayne

I knew it would be misinterpreted. Get a grip and perhaps TRY to understand what I was trying to say. Everyone gets so defensive without really knowing or even attempting to understand others. It's really sad.

quote:

Original: joyinslavery

I'd say he pretty much nailed it.

My word! I have to ask,at this point, cloudboy and joyinslavery,who peed in your wheaties?
You are both being very unkind!
cloudboy, I am aware that you have a relationship (still?) with a part time Mistress with the approval of your wife. joyinslavery, not hearing to the contrary, I will assume that you are still looking.
Few boys post from the male sub POV. Why is that? Because there aren't too many in a relationship? Because the ones who are see no need to further particpate? I often wonder.
What I do see, over and over, on these boards, as well as on profile after profile, and in email after email, is that it is not outrageous to guesstimate 90% of the boys have not grown into the ability to even comprehend a TPE relationship. Hell bells, there's another thread right now about "How come nobody wants me?" I didn't see cloudboy on that one at all, and I did see a rather cheeky and useless non-productive response from you, joyinsalvery. How disappointing that the boys will not share and help each other. hmmmmmmmmmm....
This subject comes up over and over and if people don't share their personal experiences and growth, how can others begin to figure out how and where they might or might not fit in ?
Personally, I don't think the 90% statistic is out of line. There might be 10 boys out of 100 who can follow instructions and show the right attitude and commitment for a TPE. Which, btw, is the relationship basis, to some degree or another, that all of the Ladies on the message boards seek. Boys complain about the 100 to 1 ratio all the time, but I noted Myself, that I don't believe it. Because I don't even count most of the boys as having their heads in the right place.
Tentayne, I applaud you for trying to learn. The reason bottoms are coming up is because many boys label themselves as "slave" or even "submissive", but they are really kinky bottoms looking for dominance in the bedroom and/or on the weekends. It takes time to grow into this lifestyle, and people make their place in many different ways and at many different levels. It is important to try to understand where you are and then where you want to be and work from there.
The OP originally began with a question about why so many slaves did not understand service. A good reply was to change that from "slaves" to "men". It is easy to label oneself. It is not so easy to follow it through and live it.
Good luck, and welcome to the boards.

*edited for tags

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 8/14/2006 2:03:13 PM >

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 53

RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/14/2006 2:25:07 PM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

I wish you nothing but sucess, GDC. The same for Jonathan. He just had a little bit of the "I know what its all about" buzz going on after just getting started with you. I am happy for him. But only time, humility, luck, relationship skills, and solid efforts keep two people together in a relationship. That is where my eye is trained, so hence my advice to keep the cart behind the horse.

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

Post #: 54

RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/14/2006 3:27:48 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

I wish you nothing but sucess, GDC. The same for Jonathan. He just had a little bit of the "I know what its all about" buzz going on after just getting started with you. I am happy for him. But only time, humility, luck, relationship skills, and solid efforts keep two people together in a relationship. That is where my eye is trained, so hence my advice to keep the cart behind the horse.

Thank you for your good wishes, cloudboy. And I was remiss in not thanking you sooner when you extended your best in an earlier thread.
Honestly, I do understand where you are coming from, and what you refer to regarding keeping the cart behind the horse. We can only work as well as we already are. In the meantime, you should probably be aware that jonathan posts on these boards at My behest, because I feel it is a good exercise as well as educational, and because I do feel it is important for boys to share more and be more supportive. There are so few of you! And it is not his intent, nor do I sense an intent of being any kind of "know it all". He worked hard and grew and looked for a long time. Yes, he is happy. So am I. Time will tell. All he wants to do is share some of his hard earned knowledge and experience. And he is not answering this post himself, because I instructed him not to. I had no plans to respond Myself, until you went after another new poster. My trigger got tripped, at that point.
I had less problem with your original caution and more with your attitude toward Tentayne. I felt it was an important opportunity for some support, and instead, all I saw was a big "meow".
Thank you again for your good wishes.

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 55

RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/14/2006 3:32:02 PM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

I realize that this might come out as very unpopular and clearly, GDG, there is no disrespect intended, but Jonathan's post about serving being effortless, etc did seem a little, well, over the top. He's just told all of us that he met you for the first time not too long ago and that he's not even "serving" regularly in person. In my own mind and coming from someone who does NO cyber domination, it made me wonder what part of his "service" is so terribly effortless. Perhaps you could fill me in on why he said this.....and what would make him feel that emails and phone calls would be otherwise. I'm certain that it's very real to him, but the bottom line is....emailing and phone calls should be relatively effortless. The servitude in person, day after day, now that's a horse of a different color alltogether. Maybe it's just my lack of involvement with cyberdomming that leaves me puzzled to what he was trying to get at....and I suspect it's where some of these other posts might have come from as well.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

Post #: 56

RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/14/2006 5:03:45 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

I truly respect you, Pandora, and your question is a valid one.
You are correct in that I do not do cyber domination. At least not in the formal sense of using a web cam or ordering someone around in an instant message chat.
I have a good feeling about this boy, and he is now in My training collar. This would not be so if we had not spent physical time together already. And we have. And will again, very soon. And then will again, as he quickly relocates. Preparations are already being made for that final stage.
We are both of an age where we have grown up a great deal in this lifestyle, and we are committed to what we want. It is a good match, and there has been tremendous communication, by email, telephone ( I wouldn't want to tell you how much long distance telephone *Smile*) and several days together.
Yes, it is always problematic to assume that one is possibly in a honeymoon phase. However, I have a good sense of people, and I believe jonathan does also. He is experienced in D/s and M/s, as am I, and hopefully we have met our match.
I know that his comment regarding effortless servitude and coming from joy is not just because he had a thrilling few days. It is more like a fulfillment of something he has sought and now had found. He is also aware that times can be bumpy, as he has already experienced My unyeilding stance. He continues to gracefully submit with happiness. In addition, he has been in D/s relationships prior, so he already had a good sense of what this will entail, and he is not coming from a place of unfamiliarity. This is not fantasy, and it translates well to real time.
Maturity (both in age and lifestyle experience) speaks loudly. We are of like mind, and I can only hope that this is good for the long haul. The committment is there, the experience is there, and the assuredness of place in the lifestyle and place with the proper partner is there. Now we wait and continue to work.
I hope this answers your question.

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to MisPandora)

Post #: 57

RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/14/2006 5:35:15 PM

Tentayne

Posts: 7
Joined: 7/7/2006
Status: offline

thank you.. I'm here to learn and see differing viewpoints. The "blurred line" that was spoken of earlier is a BIG deal to me. Maybe it shouldn't be. Yet, common sense tells me that anyone that is new and seeking information certainly doesn't need "blurring" lines ... even if we're simply talking about a "label" and being "general" due to necessity. Perhaps I nitpicked, but I felt it needed to be said... and my Mistress (who is also on these forums) has urged me to be more active on these boards. I have purposely not posted due to the fact that I am so new.. and need to learn. I never intended to come off as some "know it all". If I have offended anyone here... I am truly sorry. It certainly was NOT my intent.

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

Post #: 58

RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/14/2006 6:26:16 PM

joyinslavery

Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tentayne

thank you.. I'm here to learn and see differing viewpoints. The "blurred line" that was spoken of earlier is a BIG deal to me. Maybe it shouldn't be. Yet, common sense tells me that anyone that is new and seeking information certainly doesn't need "blurring" lines ... even if we're simply talking about a "label" and being "general" due to necessity. Perhaps I nitpicked, but I felt it needed to be said... and my Mistress (who is also on these forums) has urged me to be more active on these boards. I have purposely not posted due to the fact that I am so new.. and need to learn. I never intended to come off as some "know it all". If I have offended anyone here... I am truly sorry. It certainly was NOT my intent.

I think it's great You're here to learn (seriously) but I would respectfully suggest you sit back, put your feet up and spend a little time here first before you start taking people to task or telling everyone how it should be done. And please know that if you don't care for the direction of this thread (or any other), there is quite a bit of information in the archived threads available here.

_____________________________

"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

(in reply to Tentayne)

Post #: 59

RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/14/2006 6:36:49 PM

Tentayne

Posts: 7
Joined: 7/7/2006
Status: offline

I didn't tell anyone "how it should be done".. I made an observation. Nothing more, nothing less.

(in reply to joyinslavery)

Post #: 60

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