joyinslavery
Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold
[My word! I have to ask,at this point, cloudboy and joyinslavery,who peed in your wheaties?
You are both being very unkind!
cloudboy, I am aware that you have a relationship (still?) with a part time Mistress with the approval of your wife. joyinslavery, not hearing to the contrary, I will assume that you are still looking.
Few boys post from the male sub POV. Why is that? Because there aren't too many in a relationship? Because the ones who are see no need to further particpate? I often wonder.
What I do see, over and over, on these boards, as well as on profile after profile, and in email after email, is that it is not outrageous to guesstimate 90% of the boys have not grown into the ability to even comprehend a TPE relationship. Hell bells, there's another thread right now about "How come nobody wants me?" I didn't see cloudboy on that one at all, and I did see a rather cheeky and useless non-productive response from you, joyinsalvery. How disappointing that the boys will not share and help each other. hmmmmmmmmmm....
This subject comes up over and over and if people don't share their personal experiences and growth, how can others begin to figure out how and where they might or might not fit in ?
Personally, I don't think the 90% statistic is out of line. There might be 10 boys out of 100 who can follow instructions and show the right attitude and commitment for a TPE. Which, btw, is the relationship basis, to some degree or another, that all of the Ladies on the message boards seek. Boys complain about the 100 to 1 ratio all the time, but I noted Myself, that I don't believe it. Because I don't even count most of the boys as having their heads in the right place.
Tentayne, I applaud you for trying to learn. The reason bottoms are coming up is because many boys label themselves as "slave" or even "submissive", but they are really kinky bottoms looking for dominance in the bedroom and/or on the weekends. It takes time to grow into this lifestyle, and people make their place in many different ways and at many different levels. It is important to try to understand where you are and then where you want to be and work from there.
The OP originally began with a question about why so many slaves did not understand service. A good reply was to change that from "slaves" to "men". It is easy to label oneself. It is not so easy to follow it through and live it.
Good luck, and welcome to the boards.
*edited for tags
Okay, now that I have a little time, I wanted to respond to you.
As I mentioned earlier, I think cloudboy got it right in his well-worded, measured caution to jonathan about keeping the cart behind the horse. The posts made by jonathan did seem to suggest 'sudden expertism', and why? Because he found someone? A someone btw, he's seen what, once or twice? Maybe chats, emails and phone calls? Yet there he is, telling the rest of us pathetic wretches about his "effortless service" and giving us the 411 on how it's done. I guess the fact he's found someone instantly bestows upon him the status of a 10%-er, right? Brilliant! Maybe after a week or two in your charge, he can write a book for all of us losers out here that compromise the whopping '90%'. Heck, maybe you can even get Jack Rinella to pen the forward, who knows? I posted earlier in this thread that, IMO, it is unfortunate that most Dommes tend to paint all male subs/slaves with the same brush and jonathan's posts seemed to be doing just that with the added twist of 'here's how to do it boys'. He expressed an opinion (whether his own original thought or regurgitated ideas from you) and I expressed mine. Done deal.
You mentioned the other thread, "How Come Nobody Wants Me?" which I posted to and you called my post (My reply to the OP in that thread dear reader was, "Just because"), "cheeky", "useless", and "non-productive". Well, congratulations, your observation is correct. Seems like stating the obvious but it was meant to be those things. Since you chose to call me out on that post, I do wonder how many times you've said something similar to mnottertail, gooddogbenji, Tamerofwild1s, or any number of members (and they're too numerous to list) who will, from time-to-time, post in an off-hand, sarcastic, funny way. Surprised I threw funny in there? Had you read a little deeper into the thread, you would have seen that my "cheeky", "useless", "non-productive" post actually got a thumbs up from at least one reader/poster on that thread. And here's the other thing about you calling me out for that post...My response was, in part, based on the OP's profile. Have you read his profile? I ask because it would seem to be the VERY type of profile that most Dommes ignore or simply fly by and that notion was reinforced by many of the posts to that thread. Afterall, isn't that part of what you're arguing here? I mean, c'mon...I'd at least ask for some consistency. I've seen threads that you have participated in where this type of profile (general) was discussed at some length. Yet, here you are, leaping to the defense and calling me out for what was just a bit of silliness and fun. I dare say if you went around the boards here, calling people out for every smart-ass, sarcastic, off-hand post, it'd be a full-time job. I found it very curious you lasered in on mine. Hummmmmmm indeed!
I also believe cloudboy got it right again when he responded to Tentayne's post for some of the same kind of reasons as his response to jonathan. You may not agree but then again, we don't have to. I saw Tentayne's post as a curious way for a self-proclaimed novice (on his third post) to be seeking 'knowledge' by calling out posters to the thread and complaining. He expressed an opinion and a counterview was presented that I happened to agree with. Done. My advice for the chap would be get used to it, because you'll see plenty of it here. (See, I can be helpful!)
One question I have for you - Why did you feel it necessary to broach relationship status for me and cloudboy? I won't speak for cloudboy but personally, my relationship status is my business until and unless I (or we as the case may be) decide to put it out there. But, since you brought it up, yes, I'm still looking but less and less here. You know, I think the reason you made mention of it was to suggest something and that something was that if I'm still looking, that must mean I'm part of that 90% who don't 'get it' and therefore, can't find anyone. And that means jonathan, who DOES have a Domme (you), 'gets it' and therefore, qualifies for the 10%. Brilliant!! Yes, me thinks that might be what you're suggesting but who knows. Whether you meant it that way or not, that's how I took it but here's the really funny part...If jonathan was still out there looking, effortless service and all, I guess he'd still be down here with the rest of us unclean, 'don't get it' undesirables comprising the 90%, huh? Funny.
See why I think generalizations can suck? Hey, whatever works for you.
Good luck to you both.
Edited to add: Apologies...The thread I posted to and referred to was titled - "Why Don't People Want Me?"
< Message edited by joyinslavery -- 8/15/2006 4:31:33 PM >
_____________________________
"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell
Mainstream...The New Alternative
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