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Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/8/2006 9:14:43 AM   
TheOriginalBitch


Posts: 35
Joined: 8/7/2006
Status: offline 		Is it Me or has everyone else noticed that most of the slave boys that contact them here on collarme.com, their primary goal is about sex?

Example: Whip my ball's and make me lick you clean faster.......sounds like self gratification to Me.

This lifestyle is not about sex to me, it is about 24/7 service, devotion, respect and honor and in return I provide structure, acceptance, respect, honor and sometimes with the right slave and in time love.

It is about TPE, NOT SEX!

Mistress
"The Original Bitch"
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RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/8/2006 9:19:18 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		The internet is often a place of fantasy. I know plenty of slave boys, girls and bois who are dedicated to service...but I have met them all real time, not through the internet. Still, that doesn't mean that I don't have a profile on here in hopes of finding a few diamonds!

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to TheOriginalBitch)
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RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/8/2006 9:23:55 AM   
TheOriginalBitch


Posts: 35
Joined: 8/7/2006
Status: offline 		Yes, I am very envolved in the local community. I am here to meet new people, I am quickly finding out that there are alot of CZ's and very few Diamonds....ok maybe a few Diamonds in the rough who will need alot of polishing before they can shine.

Mistress
"The Original Bitch"

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RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/8/2006 10:04:12 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheOriginalBitch

Is it Me or has everyone else noticed that most of the slave boys that contact them here on collarme.com, their primary goal is about sex?

Example: Whip my ball's and make me lick you clean faster.......sounds like self gratification to Me.

This lifestyle is not about sex to me, it is about 24/7 service, devotion, respect and honor and in return I provide structure, acceptance, respect, honor and sometimes with the right slave and in time love.

It is about TPE, NOT SEX!

Mistress
"The Original Bitch"

And here I thought the lifestyle was about what it is for YOU and the person involved with you.  It might be sex for some.  It might be service for some.  It might be none of that for someone else.  Who are we to judge?  Just pass them over and be done with it.  Not everyone in the world is going to match what your ideal is.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to TheOriginalBitch)
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RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/8/2006 10:31:24 AM   
TheOriginalBitch


Posts: 35
Joined: 8/7/2006
Status: offline 		I would not want everyone to match what My ideas are, the world would be pretty boring if that was the case.

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RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/8/2006 10:38:23 AM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline
quote:

Is it Me or has everyone else noticed that most of the slave boys that contact them here on collarme.com, their primary goal is about sex?


Your first mistake is been willing to bestow the label 'slave'  (or sub) ... try ...has everyone else noticed that most of the men that contact them here on collarme.com, their primary goal is about sex? ... and yes, I have noticed this.

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


Visit My Website


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RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/8/2006 10:44:32 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I have noticed that many people (male and female) use the word slave to mean something quite different than I do.

BDSM and all its component parts is about different things for different people:
For some it is really only about sex.
For others it is mostly about sex.
For others sex is a big part of things.
For others sex is a minor part.
And for some sex isn't a part at all.

That's why I insist on talking to people for while and have a formal training process. My life is too busy to spend on everyone so I invest the time early on instead of getting into relationships and trying them out without some guidelines and formality.

I know what it is about for me and what I'm looking for. I don't except anyone other than the man or woman who joins my household to have my definitions beyond being consensual, being informed, and doing it for positive reasons.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/8/2006 11:09:33 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheOriginalBitch

I would not want everyone to match what My ideas are, the world would be pretty boring if that was the case.

OK, so why the rant about how it's all about TPE and not sex.  For some it IS about sex....and that's not wrong.  It's simply wrong for you.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to TheOriginalBitch)
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RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/8/2006 11:11:46 AM   
MistressMaamNH


Posts: 211
Joined: 8/11/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Is it Me or has everyone else noticed that most of the slave boys that contact them here on collarme.com, their primary goal is about sex?


Think of most males you know....how many are motivated by sex, sexual thoughts, the idea of sex, the notion of sex... How often is sexual virility and strength equated to success in advertising and society in general.  So that We as Dominas, are often approached by males who are driven by the power of sex isn't all that surprising.  That We are confronted with that so often isn't really the issue..it's learning how to sift through all those that have ONLY that as the motivator for submission is the bigger picture. There are males out there who understand and are driven by other ways they can pleasure a Woman...intelligent conversation, sharp wit, obedience, attentiveness to needs that occur above the waistline.  Discouraging-and at times distasteful as it can be-it is worth the effort in the end to find someone who's ideas and concepts of service and servitude match Your Own.

MMNH


_____________________________

Let Me lay you softly, down onto the thorns...

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RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/8/2006 11:16:49 AM   
SaphireLynn


Posts: 145
Joined: 2/15/2005
Status: offline 		every relationship is different... I have noticed some Dom/me seek sex slaves and such... also some seek no sex in the relationship... so no 2 relationship is the same... just like no 2 Owners are the same... so to each his own...

_____________________________

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But he that dares not grasp the thorn
Should never crave the rose.
~~~Anne Bronte~~~
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

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RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/8/2006 12:24:51 PM   
Nuke718


Posts: 240
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		While not claiming to be a slave, I do sub a bit.  I understand what service is, I can give you the dictionary definition if you like, as well as the accepted lifestyle definition.

But I am not a service sub/slave/bottom.  It's just not me.  The lifestyle isn't about service to me.  That isn't to say that there is no service in some of my lifestyle relationships over the years, just taht it is not my sole focus.  Just like I have had relationships both with and without sex, I have had them with and without service.  For the record tho, the ones with service have almost always included sex (it's a trade off I suppose, at least for me LoL).

Anyway, I would like to agree with those saying you will have a better chance of meeting service oriented folks IRL.  Lets face it the anonymity of the Internet makes it too easy to try for quick fantasy fulfillment.  The people looking to get off waaaay outnumber the folks looking for a non sexual relationship.  That's not to say you won't find the sub/slave you want online tho.

Good luck!

Nuke }:-

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RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/8/2006 1:17:57 PM   
TheOriginalBitch


Posts: 35
Joined: 8/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jasmyn

quote:

Is it Me or has everyone else noticed that most of the slave boys that contact them here on collarme.com, their primary goal is about sex?


Your first mistake is been willing to bestow the label 'slave'  (or sub) ... try ...has everyone else noticed that most of the men that contact them here on collarme.com, their primary goal is about sex? ... and yes, I have noticed this.


Makes Note To Myself........Change To Most men.

Mistress
"The Original Bitch"

(in reply to Jasmyn)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/8/2006 1:21:29 PM   
TheOriginalBitch


Posts: 35
Joined: 8/7/2006
Status: offline 		True society is driven by sex, look at the ad for AXE

Mistress
"The Original Bitch"

< Message edited by TheOriginalBitch -- 8/8/2006 1:22:28 PM >

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RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/8/2006 1:23:17 PM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline 		The good news though...behind some of them approaches are some very slavish boys.

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


Visit My Website


(in reply to TheOriginalBitch)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/8/2006 1:29:10 PM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline 		Whenever I've approached someone it's had nothing to do with sex, but about either submission, service and/or slavery. The problem is that I seem to be traveling up a raging river trying to speak up and be heard over the screaming voices of those who see bdsm as another term for "easy sex", so that no matter how sincere, no matter how much experience, and no matter how much I pursue, even getting the time of day is practically impossible. So the screamers win out because they're playing the old "ask enough women to have sex with you and eventually one will say yes" game. When two hundred of those men are rushing at any available woman (and each one that exists, multiplying like the hair commercial of "and she told two friends, and so on and so on....), the few of us who gently pursue maybe one or two women in a few month period after having done our homework and figuring out we're right for each other, get blown away in the wind.

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RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/8/2006 2:14:25 PM   
Aimtoplease101


Posts: 319
Joined: 2/8/2006
From: San Diego, California
Status: offline 		"Most" is the key word there.  CM is not some sort of exclusive membership site, so it's going to draw a lot of users, of all orientations, who are "mostly" looking for sex.  I think the same could be said of many venues, cyber and real, in which people interact.

Use that message delete button liberally if that's not what you're looking for, but keep your eyes open for people who may be compatible with you.

Regards, ATP

_____________________________

Pleasing you pleases me.

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RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/8/2006 2:38:38 PM   
mp072004


Posts: 381
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline 		I think the rhetoric of service is overused, which may contribute to the OP's frustration--truth in advertising and all that. I have no quarrel with men who want sexual elements in their BDSM relationships. I have no quarrel with men who would specify certain activities they want to do when bottoming. It's not a terribly submissive or service-oriented behavior, but as long as it's not being presented as such, it doesn't bug me at all.

However, I do object to the word games that go on when submissive-identified men try to tell me what they want to do. If you want to perform cunnilingus at my direction, please say so. Please do not call it serving. It's vague for starters, and inadequate if the actual activity is important. And when I tell you that I don't want to receive cunnilingus, it is exceedingly bad form to insist that you have a deep-seated need to serve me and make me happy and that I must allow you to stick your tongue in my vulva, even though I don't want you to, so that I may be served and pleased.

Monica

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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/8/2006 2:42:09 PM   
michaelGA2


Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheOriginalBitch

Is it Me or has everyone else noticed that most of the slave boys that contact them here on collarme.com, their primary goal is about sex?

Example: Whip my ball's and make me lick you clean faster.......sounds like self gratification to Me.

This lifestyle is not about sex to me, it is about 24/7 service, devotion, respect and honor and in return I provide structure, acceptance, respect, honor and sometimes with the right slave and in time love.

It is about TPE, NOT SEX!

Mistress
"The Original Bitch"


not sure if You wanted any input from submissives, Ma'am...but i totally agree with what You've said. i've said it over and over that it's not about sex...i would love to experience Power Exchange sometime


_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/8/2006 2:46:16 PM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline
quote:

And when I tell you that I don't want to receive cunnilingus, it is exceedingly bad form to insist that you have a deep-seated need to serve me and make me happy and that I must allow you to stick your tongue in my vulva, even though I don't want you to, so that I may be served and pleased.
 
lmao!  a truer word has never been spoken ... thanks for the morning chuckle ...

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


Visit My Website


(in reply to mp072004)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Do slave boys truly understand what service is? - 8/8/2006 6:13:46 PM   
golfguy


Posts: 23
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline 		i , as a novice sub have been learning a lot from this forum. there is a definite array of wants and needs of all both sub and domme.! can see why i am having trouble finding a domme.there is soooo much diversity in all. Sex? not my desire. to serve a domme as she wishes is my true goal. of course i wont say i will do anything but i am open to discussion as there is sooooo much to consider.Sex is not my desire. to serve,truly serve is/.

(in reply to Jasmyn)
Profile   Post #: 20
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