Sunshine119
Posts: 611
Joined: 8/8/2005
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I think this a great topic and one very much misunderstood. It's nice to think that we are "entitled" to anything but in a cosmic, metaphyical way, perhaps we are not. The word entitlement might be the wrong word you are using here. Or maybe it is exactly the word you have chosen at great lengths to use.
By traveling through third world countries, I find myself humbled at how little we, as human beings, are actually "entitled" to. There are basic human rights which every person should be entitled, but very few are. We, as Americans, don't usually reflect upon how great the creator (universe, etc) has blessed us. Are we entitled? Hell, no.
But the fact remains that those of us conversing on this board do feel entitled to much more than most in the world so I will start from that common point.
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ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
What issues have you had in dealing with the idea of entitlement?
See above. But, even given the sense that we are not entitled to anything within the cosmic, time and space continuum, we DO need to remember, that however we choose to live, we can never give away anything that does not belong to us, but rather belongs to another. In this matter, I am specifically speaking of our minors. I have seen too many dominants, submissives and slaves here who have relinquished the responisbility for the raising of their offspring to their offspring's other parent or other relatives. These little ones did not come into existence without our help, and consequently they should be ENTITLED to the love, caring, nurturing and upbrining that both those assisting in their creation have a responsibility to provide for at least 18 years.
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What are you entitled to in your relationships (from both the dominant and submissive perspective)?
I'm a submissive and don't identify myself as a slave. Consequently, there are some differences. Hmmmm.....first off, I'm not entitled to a relationship at all. The relationship I find myself happily in involves respect, love, caring and understanding of our mutual and differing roles within our relationship as D/s. We both work. Consequently, we have different responsibilities there. We both have children (different ones....lol). He still has children in college and one under the age of 18 (barely). Mine are both grown. But, we have different responsibilities there which we cannot ignore nor change because of a D/s or M/s relationship. A child/parent relationship MUST always come first.
Other than those two things, he is not entitled to anything more within that relationship than am I. It is a work in progress and always will be. There is a clear power exchange in our household. We talk about many things, he usually makes decision. Sometimes he doesn't care what I choose to serve for all the meal for the week, for instance. I have alot of autonomy in running the household, yet he makes most of the major decisions. I have input in these, but the decision, if not about our younger ones, are his.
I have learned to expect things such as common courtesy, love and discipline when I am out of line. I expect these things, I am not entitled to any of them. (see the general comments above)
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How have you learned to let go of the things you are not entitled to?
Since I am entitled to nothing in life, I give my best and hope for the best in return. But the realization lies in my mind that even though His Highness is dominant over most of my life, HE is entitled to nothing either. He can expect much from me however and those expectations are high. Sometimes he expects more than I feel I am capable, but he has taught me much in that regard.
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Have there been patterns established – consistency in actions – which led you to have expectations, which in turn gave you a feeling of entitlement?
Nope
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Lastly, did losing feelings of entitlement bring forth enlightenment? And if so, how?
The realization that I had no entitlement to anything in life freed me from the burdens of trying to accumulate wealth, made me more aware of my fellow human being and the plight of those living (and dying) in the rest of this world.
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Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
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RE: Entitlement - 
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. It's a reminder to me that he's not quite mine yet; part of him feels *not mine* if he doesn't feel he has a right to turn to me and expect things from me.
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