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UNICORN HUNT. - 8/18/2006 5:03:42 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Unicorn hunting.
 
Is this a rant? Maybe.
 
Let me start by stating this is not aimed at all male sub/slaves, just a few. There are many of you on the boards here that I know are honest and good people, Benji, Fergus, Teego and LittleSarbonn to name a few.
 
Then there are what I have come to believe are hundreds of male subbies that this is aimed at.
 
In the past month I have personally exchanged emails with numerous male subs and read the profiles of hundreds of them. To those who responded with honesty and politeness I offer a sincere thank you for both. To the few I feel will continue to be friends I am glad to have had the opportunity to meet you.
 
This is addressed to the rest, those whose first response starts with "I have a five inch cock" or "will your Mistress be whipping me daily?" or even better "do I get to service you both?" And to those who presented themselves as looking for a relationship only to disappear or delete their profile the next day only for me to see their pic on a new one.
 
When contacting every male sub I sent email too I very specifically explained that there will be no cyber, no physical contact with me, that we are searching for a real live human being to become part of our poly fidelity family. That yes, mutual kink was important but that chemistry and compatibility were more important, we wanted to know the person first, we were not looking for a target with a penis attached.
 
Why not just be honest about what you seek? Why use women who are being honest with you to fulfill your fantasy of the day?
 
It really is ok if that is what you seek so why post otherwise in your profile?
 
Why is it that just knowing a Domme is specifically looking for a male sub/slave for a relationship is enough to send most of then running?
 
 I am beginning to think I know why. Because there are too damned many guys out there who are looking for the fantasy, high heeled boots, black leather corset, keep me in a cage and whip me until I bleed oh Goddess of sex and pain. A fantasy that would be better fulfilled by hiring a pro domme. They just want a woman, any woman, a pair of tits and a twat, flogger permanently attached to their arm; they aren't interested in a particular woman because of who she is.
 
 
This is just not a very flattering thought to the Dommes who are looking for a real relationship, for some one to love and nurture, for someone to eventually love them for the person they are. While I realize there are some out there who are happy to simply be used to fulfill someone's fantasy life, it is not what any Domme I have ever known is seeking in a male subbie.
 
If you are a male sub/slave who wants to find a domme with whom to have a relationship, stop focusing on the "whip wielding goddess" part. Stop and ponder about what kind of person  would be compatible with you, who will fit your day to day lifestyle. What vanilla activities do you enjoy? What do you believe in?  What are your dreams? What do you want to share with a domme? How do you find them special as a human being?
 
If you're only looking to be used as a real live sex toy or a faceless target for a whip say so at the start. There are many willing to accommodate you.
 
If you are looking for cyber sex then be up front, there are plenty of women looking for this as well.
 
 These women you are leading on, believing they are talking to a real live individual who is searching for something more while you jerk off during a conversation are real live people with feelings.
 
Note: Before I am slapped with the question "why were you looking instead of your Mistress?" let me say at first she did not realize I was. When I explained that I get so very tired of seeing her treated this way and that since I would not be hurt by those who act in this manner she was ok with that.
 
I did not write this because I am hurt, only frustrated, thank the goddess she made me a slave and not a Domme, though after dealing with this I am beginning to think I might actually enjoy flogging the hell out of a few of these guys………
 

< Message edited by twicehappy -- 8/18/2006 5:07:04 AM >

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: UNICORN HUNT. - 8/18/2006 6:04:18 AM   
MistressSophia


Posts: 61
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		.Nice thread ,but the PRO DOMME wasn't needed. Next get over it. it's the internet. and unlessI missed it.. They do not feel they need to be honest. respectful. or even committed to anyone they speak to online. They have the choice to speak to as many as they wish. say the same BS to each one. play the number game.. It is the Mistress's/masters that must change become wiser, smarter. start talking to each other. share subs names.And information.  But if your Mistress is talkng or even answering onliners, then perhaps  it's not the subs she should be blaming...

_____________________________

A whisper in the dark of the night, freezes the soul. and sets the heart on fire!

(in reply to twicehappy)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: UNICORN HUNT. - 8/18/2006 6:08:22 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

Why not just be honest about what you seek? Why use women who are being honest with you to fulfill your fantasy of the day?


Many Doms are exactly the same. On-line, for some people, is a license to be jerks, posers, liars, and users.  I feel it's the rare person who is genuine.  If you approach it that way there will be less diappointment.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to MistressSophia)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: UNICORN HUNT. - 8/18/2006 6:20:51 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressSophia

.Nice thread ,but the PRO DOMME wasn't needed.


Thank you.

Why did the pro domme comment upset you?

I have known a few, there was one who was older i was good friends with, she was a great person to shop with, she had exquisite taste. I see nothing wrong with being or visiting a pro domme, but then again i think prostitution should be legal as well.

quote:

Next get over it. it's the internet. and unless I missed it.. They do not feel they need to be honest. respectful. or even committed to anyone they speak to online. They have the choice to speak to as many as they wish. say the same BS to each one. play the number game..


Get over it? Nice comment.

As to their choice to lie i have an issue with anyone who lies. Courtesy and respect go a long way. I care very little for how many or whom the speak to; i care that when they speak to me they are honest about what they are looking for. I am being honest i expect the same in return.

quote:

  But if your Mistress is talkng or even answering onliners, then perhaps  it's not the subs she should be blaming... 


I read your profile, you also are seeking online. How do you know from an email or two that those whom you are speaking to are real, not just someone looking for a few afternoons of entertainment? I think most of the Dommes with profiles on here seeking do have to start with online contact and conversation; else why have a profile in the first place?

And not to be rude but as you do not know Jewel please do not attempt to judge her character. She is sweet, loving, open minded and will help out any who ask her. 

< Message edited by twicehappy -- 8/18/2006 6:22:11 AM >

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to MistressSophia)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: UNICORN HUNT. - 8/18/2006 6:36:08 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied


Many Doms are exactly the same. On-line, for some people, is a license to be jerks, posers, liars, and users.  I feel it's the rare person who is genuine.  If you approach it that way there will be less diappointment.


I could not agree more. Out of hundreds of doms who sent emails  when i was searching i would venture to say at least 75% were married and cheating. Not that i cared if they were, that is on their heads, not mine. But it sure did waste a lot of my time as i will not play with cheaters. Married and honest about it and at some point  i got to speak to their wife i had no problem with.

I am not dissappointed; more pissed off about it this morning. But i can imagine how those who are searching for themselves must feel and there really is no cause for that. 

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: UNICORN HUNT. - 8/18/2006 6:53:29 AM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		In the hunting of the elusive unicorn what I see is people who claim to be the thing you seek in their words but not in deeds happening way too often. They do this as they don't like themselves enough to accept their position and in insecurity try to bait you with someone else they think you'll like. They feel if you knew their real thoughts, opinions and motives that you'd not like them. Truthfully the way these people really are is undesirable. That is something that shows they are not devoted enough to process through their baggage to a point they have enough self respect, pride, and integrity to talk straight and open. I think it comes from the D/M/s trying to change their ways & improve their own circumstances on credit instead of salary they earn. At the point they say they share your path and view point they honestly see it and think they can step up to that plate. The sad part is 6-8 months down the road the charade is over, they revert to their true self and you are left with the collateral damage behind it. I too get frustrated that even though I clearly state where I am, and who I am, and what I seek or need that others feel I should suppress the real me and follow them more to be happy. I say getting results this way may improve the numbers of relationships you have, but I'd trade the whole world for the one up front honest real one over the game slingers any day.
The sad part is most of those people are so busy with the external appearances & opinions they project that they are not doing any of the internal work necessary to make them truly beautiful and desirable in their real selves under the surface. 
The labor of their works only brings back bitter fruit in the end.
Suzanne

(in reply to twicehappy)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: UNICORN HUNT. - 8/18/2006 6:58:49 AM   
BrokenDoll


Posts: 106
Joined: 8/15/2006
Status: offline 		I know its frustrateing but online is not a reliable place to find a "real" person.... it is what it is and that is cyber. A place where people come and many pretend to be what they wish they were and not actually what they are. Take reality bend it in a million ways to fit each indavidual persons fantasy and you have an onlone adult chatroom. People online are not as they seem and its not always because they are liars but because they are projecting themselvs as they see themselvs not as others see them or even how you would see them if you were in the same room. The way they see themselvs and the way you would see them in real life is often two vastly different things. When online you are relieing on them to provide all the infermation that you will have about themselvs while in real life you can make inferenses and opinions based on infermation you gather on your own how you feel about the person not the way the feel about themselvs.. I dont know iffin that makes any sence at all I really hope it does. Sometimes the words dont come out on the screen the way that I think them.

_____________________________

Please take care of your toys treat them with Love and respect, For broken toys are no fun at all!

-doll-

(in reply to twicehappy)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: UNICORN HUNT. - 8/18/2006 7:25:05 AM   
Forceofnature


Posts: 2
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline
Hi twicehappy

I can relate entirely to your frustration but would like to add that the problem with less than genuine or realistic male submissives unfortunately extends to female submissives too.  There are countless profiles on here that are not genuine that I have to wade through too.  Despite sending friendly and by no means one line messages to 'female submissives' here its remarkable the number that don't do me the courtesy of a reply.  Unfortunately the genuine ones on here are in a minority so despite not being at all interested in the 'scene' I have to get out there and meet the people I know to be more sincere than many of those here.

Best wishes

FoN

(in reply to twicehappy)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: UNICORN HUNT. - 8/18/2006 7:28:33 AM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		<The doctor is IN>..........
I prescribe a nice bubble bath, a glass of wine and some deep, slow breathing exercises.
Take a break from the search for a few weeks.
It won't change the nimrods on line, but it might help reduce your frustration level.
<5 cents, please>


_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to twicehappy)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: UNICORN HUNT. - 8/18/2006 7:36:32 AM   
LadyJulieAnn


Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BrokenDoll

I know its frustrateing but online is not a reliable place to find a "real" person.... it is what it is and that is cyber. A place where people come and many pretend to be what they wish they were and not actually what they are. Take reality bend it in a million ways to fit each indavidual persons fantasy and you have an onlone adult chatroom. People online are not as they seem and its not always because they are liars but because they are projecting themselvs as they see themselvs not as others see them or even how you would see them if you were in the same room. The way they see themselvs and the way you would see them in real life is often two vastly different things. When online you are relieing on them to provide all the infermation that you will have about themselvs while in real life you can make inferenses and opinions based on infermation you gather on your own how you feel about the person not the way the feel about themselvs.. I dont know iffin that makes any sence at all I really hope it does. Sometimes the words dont come out on the screen the way that I think them.


I've found many "real" people online, so to simply blame the internet for the influx of people who are not "real" is an overgeneralization.  I always think there needs to be a distinction made between cyber between two people online who meet for a night of fun online and those of us who have made numerous great connections with friends across the world via internet chat and email.  Both are valid forms of communication, but the frustration comes when the two mix and one person has expectations that the other doesn't have. 

Be well,
Julie

(in reply to BrokenDoll)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: UNICORN HUNT. - 8/18/2006 7:38:58 AM   
BrokenDoll


Posts: 106
Joined: 8/15/2006
Status: offline 		Oh Yes Ma'am Im sorry I didnt mean to implie that there were no real people on the internet to do so would be to discredic myself. Im sorry if you took offence Miss I didnt mean anything by it exept it is easier to miscomunicate online is all.

_____________________________

Please take care of your toys treat them with Love and respect, For broken toys are no fun at all!

-doll-

(in reply to LadyJulieAnn)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: UNICORN HUNT. - 8/18/2006 8:41:32 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: onestandingstill

The sad part is most of those people are so busy with the external appearances & opinions they project that they are not doing any of the internal work necessary to make them truly beautiful and desirable in their real selves under the surface. 
The labor of their works only brings back bitter fruit in the end.
 

So very and sadly true. Anybody else here suddenly remember that old commercial;

"Be somebody important, be yourself"?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Forceofnature
I can relate entirely to your frustration but would like to add that the problem with less than genuine or realistic male submissives unfortunately extends to female submissives too. 
 
I think my entire rant could be applied at some point to all types who post a profile here.
 
To LadyJulieAnn, all of your post made a great deal of sense. I met my owners here on cm after all, as well as made some good friends. 
 
I think my point was that i really have no objection to those who are looking for cyber only to those who use looking for a realationship as a easy way to obtain cyber.


_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to onestandingstill)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: UNICORN HUNT. - 8/18/2006 8:44:23 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

I prescribe a nice bubble bath, a glass of wine and some deep, slow breathing exercises.
Take a break from the search for a few weeks.
It won't change the nimrods on line, but it might help reduce your frustration level.


Here is your nickel. Will the hot tub work?

No wine though, it is Friday and that means Master takes Jewel and i out for mexican and margueritas, then home for black russians and to play Never Winter Nights.



_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: UNICORN HUNT. - 8/18/2006 8:45:50 AM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		sorry you are feeling bummed out, twice, *hug*, it is frustrating for sure, but like i said before you guys are unique and special and so is he.
 
unicorns cant be hunted down, unicorns, dont fill out applications, unicorns are not like horses, in that you cant get them at an auction or from a breeder and put them in a stable easy as pie.
 
unicorns live in the dark forest, unicorns cultivate magic, unicorns come to you when you are not looking and and one day you awake with their head upon your lap...
 
you all might need to stop looking for a bit.  looking is the emotion of want/need.....some one very wise once told me..you cant be simultaneously in the state of wanting and having....
 
what he explained this to mean is that as long as you are wanting something you cant fully be experiencing having,... ie: enjoying, appreciating, cherishing what you do have.
 

 
 

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to BrokenDoll)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: UNICORN HUNT. - 8/18/2006 8:52:05 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		CT, as always i appreciate your words of wisdom. Believe me when i say we enjoy what we have in each other.

I am just still amazed at these guys, if only the could see what i do.

Meantime i guess i'll go put my strapon around my hips and practice saying ow at the correct moments during CBT, lol.

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: UNICORN HUNT. - 8/18/2006 9:08:38 AM   
LadyJulieAnn


Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BrokenDoll

Oh Yes Ma'am Im sorry I didnt mean to implie that there were no real people on the internet to do so would be to discredic myself. Im sorry if you took offence Miss I didnt mean anything by it exept it is easier to miscomunicate online is all.


BrokenDoll,

I did not take offence to your posting.  I certainly understand the point of your post, but just like to present the other side of experience too.  I think too often the internet gets blamed for the decline of relationships and this lifestyle, and there is obviously more to it.

Be well,
Julie

(in reply to BrokenDoll)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: UNICORN HUNT. - 8/18/2006 9:15:56 AM   
BrokenDoll


Posts: 106
Joined: 8/15/2006
Status: offline 		Yes Ma'am point taken. And you are very right.. it is easy to blaim it all on the internet.

_____________________________

Please take care of your toys treat them with Love and respect, For broken toys are no fun at all!

-doll-

(in reply to LadyJulieAnn)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: UNICORN HUNT. - 8/18/2006 9:43:39 AM   
NastyDaddy


Posts: 957
Joined: 9/8/2004
Status: offline 		17 whines and no cheese? ....what the hell kind of unicorn hunt is this anyway... is it a fake one?



(in reply to BrokenDoll)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: UNICORN HUNT. - 8/18/2006 10:14:47 AM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Hi twice,
 
I can relate to your frustrations.  I have experienced first hand the bullshit of fakes and players there are so many here, there, and everywhere.  I looked for a sub for a long time and though on the way I did find a few fun play partners and friends it wasn't until I stopped looking that I found the one that I love and cherish today. 
 
I know it's typical advice and how do you stop looking when you really want something?  I don't know, I threw my hands up in desperation it wasn't a conscious effort on my part.   
 
Until then if Jewel wants to do some CBT why don't the three of you take a ride to TN I can think of a number of boys that would be happy to play.

_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


(in reply to twicehappy)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: UNICORN HUNT. - 8/18/2006 11:25:30 AM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		I know this doesn't help much, but in the words of Thomas Edison regarding his invention of the lightbulb:

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that do not work."

You may have run across what seem to be multitudes of people out there who just don't work for you. Now you can cross them off your list of those who might be potential people for you. They don't work for you.


And also in the words of Thomas Edison:

"Be courageous. Have faith. Go forward."

The person you seek will be out there and when you find him, you'll be amazed that he was there all along.

And all those other people you've been in contact with will fall away like the snow in spring.

juliet

"

(in reply to yourMissTress)
Profile   Post #: 20
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