RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (Full Version)

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KatyLied -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/18/2006 11:59:06 AM)

Okay, good.  Call again and give every detail of what has been happening.  



celticsub -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/18/2006 11:59:19 AM)

yes, as a matter of fact, it is a federal offense to open another person's mail......start screwing around with the mail, and it can get someone in hot water real fast....contact the local post office and get the number for the postal inspector...it may even be in your phone book, look under us government.  keep his note, the envelope he opened, etc.
 
Call the police, report the second contact.  RIGHT NOW!  Get the report from the first time you called, and the second one they fill out.  You'll need these for the atty.  Get the restraining order, but DO NOT rely on it for security.  As someone said, it's only paper.  And make sure you get it for your workplace also....no telling how much he's followed you.  And as much as you'd like to, do not count on the police to respond immediately to a call for help......if you need to call, tell them he is breaking in RIGHT NOW, and he's got something in his hand that looks like a weapon.....trust me,  i've taken thousands of calls from the public...PD's are understaffed more than the public realizes.  Just don't actually tell them he has a gun unless he has one....there are charges for filing a false report w/the PD. 
 
Get a sturdy lock for your bedroom, keep your cell handy.  If you have a basement in the house, get a lock and put it on the DOWNSTAIRS side of the door.....if you can get to it, you can lock yourself in......even the lock on the bedroom is better than nothing.  Just make sure it's easy to open in the event of a fire.  Get alarms for your windows and doors....you can get battery operated ones at any hardware store or home depot......make sure the locks on the window work.....anything that makes it harder for him to get in will work, no matter how minor.
 
Again, any weapon you may choose to use can be used on you also, unless you are truly ready to use it.  If he does get to you, fight.....in any way you can.....scream "FIRE", not "RAPE".....try to grab onto his balls and yank on em like you're trying to separate them from his body.....that one works if you find yourself in close quarters with him.  Act like you're going to stroke him hard, and when he exposes himself, let it rip....literaly, if need be!  One woman I read about actually picked her nose and proceeded to eat it.....the guy puked all over her and ran away.  Picture in your mind what you would do...as awful as it sounds, preparing yourself mentally for anything always works.  Cops do things like that in order to react without thinking.  Do not present a weak front.....this guy may very well be a coward, but don't let that lull you into a false sense of security, ok?
 
Take care, I hope this guys gets the hint.  Keep an eye peeled, and if there's someplace you can go to spend the night when he tries getting into the club, go there so he can't find you at home.
 
celtic



mp072004 -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/18/2006 11:59:32 AM)

Gosh, Susan, I had hoped this was finished. I'm sorry that you're dealing with this. It sounds like he's growing emotionally invested in you, which, as you likely know, is not good.

Yes, opening and reading (tampering with) your mail would be illegal, but if your dad just left the package on your porch and didn't send it to you through U.S. Mail, it's not "mail" in that way. I don't think it's explicitly illegal to open that sort of delivery, though it is bad.

Are you keeping all these notes, and noting the date and circumstances of the notes and other interactions (drive-bys, etc)? Practically, photo albums are very good for this, because you can protect the items somewhat and you can write information on the page without writing on the note itself. As nice as it might feel to throw them out, this is evidence if you decide to bring a legal case against him.

Have you thought about a restraining order? This may have been raised in your other thread--I didn't read every post, so I don't know. It may not prevent this man from harassing you, especially if, near you, violating a restraining order is just a misdemeanor. On the other hand, if you are going to take legal action, it's part of a paper trail.

Monica



MrDiscipline44 -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/18/2006 12:00:41 PM)

I agree with sunshine, you need to act now and act fast. Hopefully you saved everything he has written you. Did the "house" that gave you his name give you any other information on him? Where he lives and any number they have on file for him? If they have this information they need to provide it. If not to you then they can do it to the police who will show up to investigate the matter. Let them know that when you talk to them as well. Take all the information you have to the police. Let the police know that you will take actions to protect yourself should he ever confront you again and that you are in fear of your safety and the safety of your family.

I don't know if anyone else has given you any information but here is a website I found that has a number you can call:

http://www.ncvc.org/src/main.aspx?dbID=DB_Nebraska398

Lastly, I wouldn't advocate buying a gun but I would advocate getting a taser. Not one of those little ones that you have to be right on top of the guy to use either. I'm talking one of those hand held gun types that you hit him with from 2 to 25 feet away. It's not very concealable but even that can be a good deterent.

Take care of yourself.



SCORPIOXXX -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/18/2006 12:07:07 PM)

Susan: given the number of people reading your thread, you do have lots caring about you! The cam on the porch  (and other locations around your house and windows is a good idea); teh Post Officce has a cops corps of its own, and they may have more time and energy to devote to your problem than the local police... Weapons, like a long distance taser: excellent BUT YOU MUST BE WILLING AND READY TO USE IT WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT, or even a first thought! and all other advice by the rest of your friends here is good: follow up on it. sadly, it also true that a restraining order won't stop anyone... I still think the asshole arms and knees need to be broken...



SCORPIOXXX -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/18/2006 12:20:02 PM)

BTW Susan, in relation to another thread where we found agreement, this is exactly where a "Daddy DOM" fulfills his main role: he is your PROTECTOR and gets rid of slime like your stalker...



popeye1250 -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/18/2006 12:34:13 PM)

Scorpio, yup, this is where a "Daddy Dom" would come in handy!
Especially one who carries a gun.
Susan, like all the others said this is now a Police matter.
Call them and tell them everything that's happened.



ProphetPX -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/18/2006 12:39:52 PM)

hmm i have been scanning this thread for a lil while, and i have to reply....

using a TASER (and even a handgun or melee weapon like a baseball bat) for self-defense, might actually be ILLEGAL in your state, and I HAVE HEARD and READ about there having been SOME LEGAL PRECEDENTS in various states that have happened in actual court cases with real people, of course:  a person who lives in a house can actually get SUED by the burglar / invader, who was attacked in self-defense with any weapon at all.  I even heard of a case once, where a person who shot a burgler from inside their own home, went to prison because the burglar either died or had bad injuries from the self-defense....   now that's fucked up.  It is very fucked up and unfortunately some state laws are against the rights of the homestead and owner or resident of any abode.  I would definitely consult your attorney for what you CAN do and CANNOT do, legally, because people are fucked up, and IF ANYTHING DOES HAPPEN, for example, he breaks in and goes after you ... god forbid...   if he gets hurt or you defend yourself to the point where he might flee, he COULD actually take YOU to court and file a suit or countersuit against you for damages because you attacked him in your own home.  NOW, I am NOT SAYING that this will happen, nor am I saying that you have no recourse, OF COURSE you should defend yourself and keep this guy away ...  I am only warning you that there are also other ramifications that could happen, depending on the laws of your city / township, and / or state.  PLEASE consult the police and your attorney about these issues as well.

Also, on another note, that guy cannot get in any trouble (that I know of?  I may be wrong) from taking or opening an envelope of yours that had your Paris pics in it, UNLESS HE REMOVED it from a Federally-certified mailbox that you have been using for your residence.  UNLESS he removed the envelope from your REAL MAILBOX and opened it, even just opening the MAILBOX alone, is a Federal Offense.  CONTACT YOUR POSTMASTER IMMEDIATELY, they could even have the police come fingerprint your mailbox and rule-out your own and your postal delivery person's fingerprints to find the other fingerprints of the person who has been stalking you and then they can better follow up for you, from that point ....   see of you can have them get the police or an investigator to fingerprint the mailbox, this time or next time.  If you can, DO THIS ASAP!!

and if you can't rely on your local municipality police, there is ALWAYS THE COUNTY POLICE, and if they don't respond, there is always the STATE POLICE.  And if they don't respond, there is always the FBI ...  you never know who has been looking for this particular guy, only they might know his real story, or if he has a rap sheet or any prior lawsuits or offense reports filed against him in the past.  You could also hire your own P.I., but why waste money on that unless nobody else can help you?  GO THE OFFICIAL routes first!







SCORPIOXXX -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/18/2006 12:41:18 PM)

Popeye: glad we are in agreement -- still, there is one minor detail... Better to use hands than a gun; with hands, it's easier to justify self defense or protection of a loved one; with a gun, it's easier to go  to jail for it, regardless of your motivations... Unless the slimeball has a gun too, in which case: let it rip... But if Susan herself does the shooting, then she can indeed call it self defense whether the rectal specimen is carrying or not (can any lawyers out there confirm this last point?)



Mavis -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/18/2006 12:41:35 PM)

Susan, welcome back from vacation!  the place seemed quiet without you.

Now, many times it's been noted to not give out info that the creep could read here and use to stalk you better.  You're NOt getting the hints, so i'm going to go more concrete. 

STOP saying "i'm going to do such and so at this time"   (i'm calling now, i'll be going to friends i'll be at the munch at 7 pm.. are all examples of the breadcrumbs you are leaving this guy.

Don't mention who will be staying with you, or If anyone will be, or if you're leaving the house to go someplace else.. Now the guy knows if he wants to force entry, how many defenders to look for around the house.

This isn't for you, but for those that come after you, how about making a second set of copies of this guys notes, and giving them to the play house and asking them to tack them up on the wall, and suggest a safety briefing for all attendees.  Dungeon rules and ettiqutte should include the fact that there has been a security breach, and cautions for subs to watch the rear view mirrors..  and please make sure the bouncer guy is paying attn... how did He miss the fellow leaving right on your tail the last time? 

All play spaces should be willing, even eager to work with patrons on personal safety.  Propose "New Rule"...  no male can exit parking for 10 mins after the departure of a female visitor.  Even if only practiced for a month or so, it might change the mentality of a few to focus on security a bit more.  (yes, that is the height of gender bias, but when the gals start following males home, the rule can be revisited)

If you leave the house, and you can manage to do so, please post daily so we don't miss you, but also so we know you're still safe. No need to mention where you are.  Also, if you do leave, and have to go back to tend the doggies, take a friend. Consider getting a rental car so he can't locate you.  MAIL yourself copies of your evidence (notes) to your PO box, and a copy to one trusted friend, in case your originals come up missing. Call a womens shelter for more tips on avoiding stalkers, they have a ton of help locally.

Think of the advice you'd give others if this happened to anyone else.



SCORPIOXXX -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/18/2006 12:46:42 PM)

I hadn't seen Prophet's post prior to my last one, but yes: there could be legal issues involved even in your own self defense! As left of liberal as I am, it does amaze me that burglars/rapists/stalkers can actually sue over somebody fucking them up in self defense!!! this point is definitley one where the legal statutes are screwed up: somebody breaks into your house or worse, you should have the perfect right to waste them... Or at least, to veg them out for life...



onestandingstill -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/18/2006 12:47:28 PM)

Hey Susan,
I just want to say while I have no specific advise to follow you've not already found that I'm here, I'm praying for you, and I hope this all straightens out for you.
I too have had two different men stalk me in my life. It is indeed a very unsettleing thing you have no conrtol over.
Trust in your karma. You are a good hearted person. You should just keep doing all you can through the channels avialable till this guy gets the message.
Maybe a Dom friend of yours could go put the fear of God into him.
Suzanne



popeye1250 -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/18/2006 12:49:31 PM)

Prophet, once someone gets into your house you shoot them.
You don't ask them what they're doing, you don't talk to them.
Just open up.
At that point if they're in your house something bad is going to happen to *YOU* unless you neutralize them.
That's no time to be worried about "laws".
At that point *THEY* called it, not you.



SCORPIOXXX -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/18/2006 12:50:21 PM)

Mavis and Susan: Mavis has an excellent point here! Stop saying what your plans are -- don't let the enemy know your strategies!!!



ProphetPX -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/18/2006 12:50:45 PM)

dahhhhhhhh ... i had not thought of that, damn that was a GREAT POINT !!!  wow

well what Mavis said, earlier today, was AN EXCELLENT SOURCE OF ADVICE, DEFINITELY!!  And that was:  CONTACT A WOMAN'S SHELTER FOR ADVICE on how to deal with these stalker types!!

(Mavis just posted that but I have to repeat what he said, because it cannot be underscored enough, women's shelters DEAL with this kind of thing EVERY SINGLE DAY, 365/year .... you should definitely call them up because they can help you way more than we can ....)

hmmm...  i can't believe i didnt think of that ...   damn good point tho



ProphetPX -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/18/2006 12:56:35 PM)

yes I know, and I would agree.  I totally understand all of that.  I am just saying that there are things to consider NOW while she is reading these posts / replies.  I am not telling her to sit or freak out in panic about laws, or ramifications, when an actual incident does occur.  I am just giving her a bit of foresight, when I mentioned about the legal statutes of people actually getting in trouble simply for self-defense.

I, like you, would totally advocate self-defense.   Perhaps it is also not such a bad idea to even recommend to her to start taking self-defense classes, as well.  Such as Karate or Tae-Kwon-Do, or any of the like.   And if she does go out, either in the car or just for a walk, anywhere in the yard or in the neighborhood, in the city or whatever it is like there.  Try this:  TAKE a friend, or her DOGS for the walk, too, as well.  That would be a big boost to her feeling of security, I would think.

But I have to tell you Popeye, as much as I want to 100% agree with you, some Judges might not totally agree with what you said ...  unfortunately.


--- quote from Popeye:
Prophet, once someone gets into your house you shoot them.
You don't ask them what they're doing, you don't talk to them.
Just open up.
At that point if they're in your house something bad is going to happen to *YOU* unless you neutralize them.
That's no time to be worried about "laws".
At that point *THEY* called it, not you.



popeye1250 -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/18/2006 12:58:06 PM)

Scorpio, stalkers can't sue ANYONE if they're dead.
Like the old saying goes; "I'd rather be tried by 12 then carryied by 6."
If someone actually breaks into your house the Prosecutors don't like to prosecute because they know jurys won't convict in cases like that and also and more importantly you are completely within your rights to defend yourself in your own home.
It's called "the castle doctrine."



SusanofO -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/18/2006 1:07:30 PM)

I just talked to the police, and they've agreed to surveill the block again on the hour, starting tonight at dusk.  

I just wrote a bunch of stuff, but then deleted it, as it had to do with my plans about how we are handling this guy. Suffice it to say, he is being handled.

Hopefully, he will realize after today and tonight, that his attention is unwelcome.

Thanks for listening - and for all of the great suggestions. I appreciate the help.

-Susan



Misstoyou -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/18/2006 1:18:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

I just wrote a bunch of stuff, but then deleted it, as it had to do with my plans about how we are handling this guy. Suffice it to say, he is being handled.



Smart woman.



NYsub1 -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/18/2006 1:23:16 PM)

I don't know for some reason i think your seeking attention. I wont say your full of shit but i think your story has some holes in it. I could be wrong but you may be in a manic cycle right now.



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