RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (Full Version)

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NYsub1 -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/18/2006 9:18:50 PM)

Just curious it seems the cops are spending a lot of time driving down your block. How did you explain your problem to the police? You must of told them where you were last weekend either that or you lied to the police and thats against the law.  So if you told the truth a reasonable person would assume they made a visit to this so called play house. And a BDSM underground place would be shut the same day you reported this to them and someone would of spread that news to the internet. Or you lied to the police and then it one shows your a liar and second how can you expect them to help you with no information, you seem to share every painful moment of your life here with us but you would be able to skirt around the issue with the police i highly doubt it. You would be a great writer and author your stories are very interesting and paint a very vivid picture you should be more constructive with your time and make your talent in writing a positive thing.



stef -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/18/2006 9:27:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

If a person can show they felt their life was in danger they are allowed to take whatever action they feel is necessary in order to save their life, including lethal means.

Not exactly.  The generally accepted standard for self defense is not whether the person was in fear of their life but would a reasonable person in that situation have reason to fear for their life.  A small distinction but a very important one.

~stef



MrDiscipline44 -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/18/2006 9:41:05 PM)

quote:

OK D, let's see... Notice that I earlier said it's better to use hands than weapons, just to settle that...
What does that settle? It's still assault (dee dee dee), you're still going to jail while giving the person who you assaulted a chance to get you girl while your down.
quote:

As for my doing time, I am happy to say I have never found myself in such a position, or having to make the choice
Just as I thought. Like I said, dee dee dee, you should practice what you preach before getting on your podium. You've never gotten into a fight over your "woman" but you spout stupid crap like "A guy should be ready to go to jail for his girl because it's his job". pffft.



celticsub -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/18/2006 10:05:49 PM)

NYSub, you are such an idiot......cops have pretty much seen everything, so trying to explain this to them would actually cause more embarassment for the reporting party.  Trust me, i've heard some pretty outlandish stuff from people after 20 years of being in the field.  It stops being funny after about 2 years.   Besides, I'm sure the cops are well aware of the location...while they may not know everything that goes on inside closed doors, they know enough.....hell, I'll bet even a few of them do know what goes on inside...from first hand experience!

I hope you never know the type of fear that comes from losing control over aspects of your life.....better yet, maybe it would make you a little more sensitive.  Your derision on this subject just shows what type of individual you are.  Personally, the word asshole comes to mind......



popeye1250 -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/18/2006 10:10:50 PM)

Celtic, I'll second that.



Arpig -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/18/2006 10:40:18 PM)

quote:

And a BDSM underground place would be shut the same day you reported this to them

I see you are an expert in Nebraska State laws, very impressive.

And there is something you seem to have overlooked. The cops she would be dealing with are not the ones on the vice squad who would be dealing with closing down such laces, and it is very unlikely that the cops are unaware of what goes on there anyway, the local cops pretty much know what goes on on their beat, they don't miss much.



Nikolette -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/18/2006 10:48:11 PM)

I just want to say... Please keep up on this situation and do NOT assume its over tonight. Don't assume its over for weeks. Some preditory people lay in wait for MONTHS to take advantage of someone. People who are legitmately mentally disturbed would be perfectly suited to waiting around. I don't mean for you to keep friend over and keep a grip on the situation in a crisis manner as you should now- but keep it simmering in the back of your mind.

I also urge you PLEASE ... NEVER KEEP A ~LOADED~ GUN IN YOUR HOME IF YOU DO NOT HAVE TRAINING TO USE IT!!! A gun yes... loaded NO. One of the posters mentioned a scenerio where the preditor could take the gun from you... And he is right. An older cousin of mine was shot in her own home with her own handgun! Someone maybe scared away, or struck with a gun that is unloaded, but if they take it from you, they can't shoot you with it.

I would also recommend some self defense classes, because although you can't become an EXPERT over night, you can get some basic training in just a few sessions, and it would make YOU feel more confidant in the following weeks and months that if this person is still elusively stalking you, you have defensive skills taught.



juliaoceania -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/18/2006 10:50:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

If a person can show they felt their life was in danger they are allowed to take whatever action they feel is necessary in order to save their life, including lethal means.

Not exactly.  The generally accepted standard for self defense is not whether the person was in fear of their life but would a reasonable person in that situation have reason to fear for their life.  A small distinction but a very important one.

~stef


Unlike some of the laws I have seen posted on here in other states... if someone attacks you, you can kill them, and it would not be considered murder if you are smaller and weaker. In this case I am talking something like a woman being attacked in a dark alley... in other states they have stated on this thread that you could be charged with murder for using unnecessary force.. in California if someone holds you down to rape you that gives you the right to do all that is necessary to protect yourself



popeye1250 -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/18/2006 10:55:50 PM)

In this state the Homeowner is "King" or "Queen."



Owned1 -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/18/2006 11:15:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250

In this state the Homeowner is "King" or "Queen."


Though I dont know you popeye,  I kinda get the impression you are the King whether or not anyone else would agree to it.

For you that works, it doesnt for everyone though.

Please understand this is not a flame, simply an oberservation from reading your posts.

Owned



popeye1250 -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/18/2006 11:42:51 PM)

Owned, I was refferring to the laws in the state of S. Carolina.
If someone breaks into your house here you can shoot them dead with no legal jeapardy.
None of that "lawsuits by burglers" in this state.



diamonddreamlove -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/18/2006 11:50:09 PM)

I believe it is a federal law that taking others mail would fall under.  Check it out a good fed probation officer might help him out a bit.  But what ever you do, do not keep quiet about this guy.  Listen to find out if others have had the same experience and perhaps they also will go with you to the police.  Stalking is one of those he said she said things that frequently gets swept under the rug.  Don't let this one be one of those!  Just be safe extra vigilent and keep tight security.  Take charge of your life you may be a sub/slave but in our safety it is our responsibility to take charge and if that means going somewhere else, buying and learning to use a gun or getting the big mean nasty dog that is what it means.  Actually all would be good at this time.  Just don't forget to contact the police each and every time that something occurs or they will forget to drive by to check on you.  If you are in a small town the police might even stop in to visit with you on their drive by which is also helpful for prying eyes to see.



Vancouver_cinful -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/19/2006 12:17:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: QuietDom

If she must get a weapon, her best bet by far would be pepper spray.  It's more intuitive to use, and she won't have to overcome an ingrained reluctance to kill before she squeezes the trigger.  She doesn't have to load it while panicking, and it will incapacitate long enough for her to get help, which is all she'll really need.  Trying to send the guy home in a body bag is far more risky and, despite how gratifying it may look in the movies, it's a very traumatic experience for most people.


Thank you, it's nice to hear some reasonable voices, amid this hysteria about maiming and killing as the first and only course of action.

Even women who were pressed, after years of repeated stalking and abuse, to defend themselves to the point of their abuser's death, have to live with the mental trauma such an act of desperation inspires. As you say, not as gratifying as it looks in the movies.



SusanofO -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/19/2006 12:32:07 AM)

Well, I just wanted to let everyone know I am home and fine. I got home about 10:30pm, but have not been able to sleep. I guess I am too wound up. I, and the police, and a friend (my sub male friend) went to the bdsm house at about 8:30pm. The same bouncer was there from last week, and I asked him not to ban this guy, but please to talk to him and ask him to stop bothering me and coming to my house, and that he was supposed to show at 9pm, which he did.

I stayed in the car, and the police talked to him, as did the bouncer, but I did get out of the car so he'd know I was there, and who they were referring to when they talked about who he was harrassing. But I didn't want to talk to him, and the police said I didn't have to do that. I was too nervous, but if they'd insisted, I would have done it. I'm not a coward, I am just tired of the whole mess. 

They talked to him, and he said he was sorry he'd scared me. The police and the bouncer made it clear he is to not come to my house, and not talk to me if he sees me in public. He said fine - he said didn't realize he'd scared me (I don't believe him, but that doesn't matter much). I don't know if he stayed to "play" at the house or not - I didn't.  

The police followed me home and made sure I got inside my house okay. I gave them the second note this afternoon, and so they've got that. My gal friend was waiting for me. For some reason, I am exhausted. I watched that science fiction movie "The Fly" on tv and it just had me crying my eyes out (but, it is a sad movie, I think). 

I don't know why people think this bdsm place would be closed down just because it exists; it's not illegal that it exists, and the police have known about it for years. Nobody there walks around naked. They don't serve alcohol, and apparently, the owners pay all of their taxes, and are fairly consciencious (sp?) about paying attention to things like what this guy was doing with me, and a bouncer is always there when it's open. They never let anyone in who is under 21, and actual sex never takes place there - it's against the house rules (of course).

He is banned from that house if he ever comes near me again. I am pretty sure he will leave me alone now. I am not sure I ever want to go back there, even though that bouncer and the owners seem to take their reponsiibilities to partons fairly seriously. This guy seemed a little surprised I was so upset - apparently, empathy is not his strong suit. I have his name now, and if I ever have to take any civil action I can do that. I feel better, I am just tired but can't sleep. Maybe I will watch "The Fly II" (which us also on tv tonight). Thanks everyone for the good and kind advice - and the ear. It was appreciated.

- Susan 



Vancouver_cinful -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/19/2006 12:39:30 AM)

Arpig, great new photo. One can see both the intelligence we've come to expect, and the wicked twinkle in the eye. [:)]



mons -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/19/2006 12:53:27 AM)

hello
 
this is something that happen to me i have a bill collector who for some reason thought it was his job to keep asking for money which had been already paid. the first thing he did ( now have three phone in my apartmet) he held my phone so that i would not call out to the police he did this so much and i had not ideal what to do he know where i live and he was so craxy he would been on speaker phoione and when i try to be nice he would call me names and curse and it was so bad i could not sleep at all. finally he did something dumb at that time i worked at a school with childern he called there that is when the police really step in. i had my phone trapped if you call the phone company and if he has called they will charge him greatly if you live in ca we have a strong stalker law so my trapped worked and he left me alone for year then he was back but i was ready and not frighten
 
the one thing is not to show your scare i know i been where you are and believe me i know what your feeling but strength helps so much. trapped you phone if you can get a vidoe camera you can rent on check all of the film this will show that he has been in and on your place where you llive. do not let the ploice just drop this fight for you right did you mention where you meant this person if so they man not care at all we are strange to them. if you can set up alarms anything to see or catch him watching you the last thing is go and train to shoot a gun. i am scaring you now but i will be honest.
once a man came to our home he was so drunk you could smell before i saw him i had small chrlid at that time my twin found a two by four she went looking for this man, she conrner him and told him" if you ever come near my place again i will break both of you legs and we meant it.
as women we are strong but to say it is the truth we not not as strong as many many man. it is me or them i do not play i had seen too much.
 
i did not mean to scare you or make you upset more but i have not read the rest of the reply's so i need to let you know do not hide do not let him rule who you are and take away your peace and igf the polcie do not do what they need go to you local news station let them know.
 
take care i hope none of this comes to pass and he may be safe but i do not trust anyone
men that is when it someone like that
 
mons



popeye1250 -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/19/2006 12:59:36 AM)

Susan, good for you! You handled it the right way.
Hopefully this bum will take a hint after the Police talked with him.
That usually does the trick. Now HE knows that thay know who he is.



SusanofO -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/19/2006 1:03:30 AM)

mons: My sister is an attorney, and I think your bill collector broke the law. What they did is intimidation and-or harrassment, and they could not only lose their job, but in a lot of places, could also be in legal trouble for what they did to you. I appreciate the support, and I think this whole deal will be coming to an end now, for me. Sorry you had a bad experience, too. I know this kind of thing can and does happen to lots of people.

- Susan



SusanofO -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/19/2006 1:04:45 AM)

popeye: I also know who he is now. I know his first and last name, and I know how to find him. He better leave me alone, and I think he knows that. Thanks for the support.

- Susan



Arpig -> RE: The stalker is back. I got another note. I am officially freaked out now. (8/19/2006 1:40:11 AM)

Thanks...[:D]big cheesy grin!!!![:D]



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