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What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? - 8/27/2006 4:24:08 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		I am just wondering what people think it might be. It would be wonderful, if people can and want to do it, if they can make their answer personal. I realize "honesty", "loyalty", etc. are all important, but what, specifically for you, would make, or be an indication that a relationship very meaningful?

Personally, I like it when people are so in tune with eachother, they hardly need words anymore to communicate. They understand eachother's moods, nuances in body language, etc. Before you roll your eyes, and decide I am a hopeless romantic (which I can be, but do realize its inherent limitations) - keep in mind that I realize that it is also very dangerous to ever assume you "just always know" what a partner is thinking. But it is kind of nice, I think, when they know eachother that well. At least for me, it makes me feel secure - like there is someone out there in the world who truly "gets me".

For people to get to this point, I think they have to be willing to get to really know eachother, and put themselves out there, so to speak. There are people out there who actually are not willing to get to know someone. And if this meets their needs, then fine. But I doubt, personally, that's going to lead to any life-altering, rock-their-world relationship. But, whatever people want is fine, of course.

Any thoughts? What makes a relationship so special for you, that is just rocks your world?

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 8/27/2006 4:29:56 PM >

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RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/27/2006 4:29:18 PM   
Level


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Status: offline 		Wonderful post, Susan. My answer is found in your post, for someone to truly "get me". Someone I can totally open myself to, and vice versa.

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RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/27/2006 4:29:34 PM   
Owned1


Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline 		I can only speak for my own relationship.  To begin with Master and i simply clicked when we met.  There was an instant connection, perhaps lust (cause that was there too).  However to make any relationship work it takes more than just the first click.

This is the most honest relationship I have been in.  We are open and honest with each other.  We keep tuned into each other.  We do not lose sight of each other in our daily trial and tribulations.  We support each other and are the safe place for each to fall when needed.

Interestingly enough I have never been the romantic one and this has been dragged out of me by Master.  I believe I never let that part of me out before as it was not safe, I could not let that part of me out incase it got hurt, it was hidden behind strong walls.  There is always the possiblity that one will get hurt but this is the first time I have felt safe enough to venture out in that world.

Owned



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RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/27/2006 4:30:57 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Thanks for the replies, folks.

- Susan

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RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/27/2006 4:33:20 PM   
michaelGA2


Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline 		as soon as i experience it firsthand...i'll let you know

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RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/27/2006 4:35:59 PM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
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From: UK
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As Level says - when the person 'gets me'... and moreover, when I 'get' Him.
 
But know whats the most important?
Silence.
Those moments where you just exist with each other.  Nothing else.  No sounds - no speech.
Those comfortable all consuming moments that are rare in a relationship but if a relationship has them - it is bound tight by the love that exists within the quiet.
 
Peace and Rapture


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RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/27/2006 4:39:53 PM   
eroticangel


Posts: 272
Joined: 2/13/2006
Status: offline 		i think i am gonna make up a word her, but here goes...unconditionality. i think the special part of a relationship is unconditionality...the love the hope and the dreams...i guees that is like agreeing with Susan and Level....but, i think i ould add."getting each other"

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RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/27/2006 4:43:00 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I, too, can only speak for myself.  I knew from way back that I wanted Angel. Once I got to know the real him, and not the facade that he put up to make himself sound like amore serious slave, I knew he was right for me.  He shared the feelings, but he was a bit worried about the age difference and the distance.  There were also trust barriers, becaue he had been in so many emotionally abusidve and distant relationships that he was skittish.
Now, we are planning a relocation and starting a real life together.  We have more in common than either of us had imagined.  At our first face to face meet, the chemistry was perfect. Now, we are ust waiting to be together. Its difficult, being apart, but it is s worth it when yuo find the right person. 
What we have, aside from liking the same movies and music and all, is an ability to communicate that is incredible.  We know when the other needs to talk, and he is getting good at knowing just what to say.

DV

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VampiresLair

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RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/27/2006 4:43:52 PM   
porcelaine


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

Any thoughts? What makes a relationship so special for you, that is just rocks your world?



Passion really does it for me. When my partner is able to open himself up to me without trepidation and reveal his strengths, dreams, and fears. This alone compels me to move closer to him and desire to know more. The shared openness creates a unique bond and greatly enhances our communication. During these times I find myself smiling just because. Quietly offering thanks for the blessing of a partner and friend. I know that I've found someone special when he is truly the joy inside my tears and I am his.

porcelaine

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RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/27/2006 4:48:39 PM   
SweetEscravo


Posts: 193
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline 		I completely agree with you Susan.  Knowing what the other person is thinking is wonderful in any relationship, but it is especially wonderful in the D/s one.  When a dom knows his sub so well that a safeword is practically unneeded and his sub knows her dom so well that she can fufill his needs before he even asks...that is perfect.

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RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/27/2006 4:55:18 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Ease.

A relationship of comfort.  A relationship when people understand each other and strive to meet each other's needs.  A relationship where people want the best for each other.  A relationship that knows much more peace than it does conflict.


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RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/27/2006 5:02:16 PM   
smilezz


Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline 		Thorns and i can read each other like a book.  He knows what i am thinking...feeling at any given time.  Sometimes that's scary.  lol
Relationships are not easy, they are alot of hard work.  I think one of the things that makes it for us is our Communication.  It took awhile, but we finally figured out what it is.  There is nothing that i can not tell this Man.....good......bad......silly....etc.
I can also say that He is a very Anylitical type of Man......i am an Observer.  Sometimes those two traits cross and whoooooaaa!  That is where an instance of Communication comes in.  *grinz*

~smilezz~

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RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/27/2006 5:08:44 PM   
Tristan


Posts: 330
Joined: 5/31/2004
Status: offline 		Acceptance without agendas.  It's really cool when you and your partner can talk and really listen to each other without any agendas.  It takes a trust that your partner really cares and is not going to fly off in another direction without you.

Tristan

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RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/27/2006 5:09:28 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

I am just wondering what people think it might be. It would be wonderful, if people can and want to do it, if they can make their answer personal. I realize "honesty", "loyalty", etc. are all important, but what, specifically for you, would make, or be an indication that a relationship very meaningful?

The subject of your thread is what makes for a loving bdsm relationship.

The question you ask here is what makes a relationship very meaningful.

Those are two different questions.  What exactly are you asking?

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RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/27/2006 5:15:04 PM   
LTRsubNW


Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline 		(Wrong page :)   )

< Message edited by LTRsubNW -- 8/27/2006 5:16:17 PM >

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RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/27/2006 5:36:31 PM   
liljeanti


Posts: 15
Joined: 5/30/2006
From: Michigan
Status: offline 		For me it would be trust above all, and second for him to understand me and me to understand him. 

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RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/27/2006 5:42:11 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		That's a lovely thought dark and so very true.

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RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/27/2006 5:43:29 PM   
Donnalee


Posts: 339
Joined: 7/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Katylied said:
Ease.

A relationship of comfort.  A relationship when people understand each other and strive to meet each other's needs.  A relationship where people want the best for each other.  A relationship that knows much more peace than it does conflict.

 
I've got to agree with that.  Of course there are many other components to a good relationship, but nothing beats the easy flow of being with a person who understands you and simply likes who you are.


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RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/27/2006 5:44:05 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		The ONE thing? Communication.
Without that it's just a hodgepodge.
If there is something my sub "needs" and I'm not aware of it I sure want to know.
All successfull relationships have one thing in common; good communication between the people involved!

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RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/27/2006 5:45:20 PM   
subsa


Posts: 196
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		today i'd have to say trust; tomorrow i might say something different.  trust on both sides...  trust that i can completely let go and know that He'll be there to guide me through to the other side. trust that i'll always be there for Him in anyway He needs me be it sexually or just to be there. 

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