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RE: what every newbie should know about trainers - 9/6/2006 5:00:20 AM

Dnomyar

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Hey texancutie. Im a pretend trainer. I wont lie. I want to tie you up and have sex.

(in reply to Estring)

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RE: what every newbie should know about trainers - 9/6/2006 5:06:29 AM

Dnomyar

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The bottom line with the OP is that she is not emotionaly ready for this lifestyle. It is obivious that she will not listen to any advice you give her. By her last post she is already playing games again with her "trainer". Sad Sad Sad

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RE: what every newbie should know about trainers - 9/6/2006 5:29:18 AM

Mavis

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Not to take this thread off in another tangent, but what are you saving sex for? If the idea is to present your eventual mate with something precious saved only for Him.. you pretty much already gave up "your precious".. it's bondage, not sex. for petes sake, if you would go to these lengths to enjoy bondage, THAT is your core sexuality, NOT intercourse.

Think about what "saving it" means to you and save That thing for your life partner if you feel you should hve a gift, why shouldn't it be that thing you treasure most? (rope)

(in reply to Dnomyar)

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RE: what every newbie should know about trainers - 9/6/2006 5:55:00 AM

LadyJulieAnn

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Joined: 6/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: texancutie

Gosh people have gotten all harsh and cynical...sigh. The facts are that this poor woman needs to read up more on BDSM, she needs help not ridicule...and also that that guy is no Trainer. The OP obviously has no clue what a Trainer is. Regardless of what anyone personally thinks about Trainers. That guy is just a vanilla who likes kink now and then. He also thinks that he can have his cake and eat it too.

Also, real, good and honest Dominants or Masters won't want to have sex with you the first or second meet. It is up to you to set your boundaries. Most who are interested will respect them. The ones who don't are not worth it and need to be avoided at all costs. Can anyone say pussy predators?

I wouldn't describe our posts as being harsh or cynical. They present the realistic view of the situation. This goes beyond whether or not the OP knows about BDSM or trainers. It comes down to having issues with relationships in general, in my opinion.

Be well,
Julie

(in reply to texancutie)

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RE: what every newbie should know about trainers - 9/6/2006 6:47:59 AM

Dnomyar

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No body was being harsh. The woman had her fingers in her ears and refused to listen.

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RE: what every newbie should know about trainers - 9/6/2006 6:55:22 AM

Dnomyar

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Mabey the woman should do self bondage. She could fall in love with herself and then break up. Would love to see what everyone would say about that.

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RE: what every newbie should know about trainers - 9/6/2006 7:24:36 AM

defiantbadgirl

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Very funny Dnomyar. No, I am not trying to play games with him again. How is putting my foot down........saying no, I will not be his toy, if he can't respect me enough to take me on a date, then no more......... playing games? It's called I won't put up with his shit anymore.

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RE: what every newbie should know about trainers - 9/6/2006 7:38:23 AM

defiantbadgirl

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Mavis, I've been struggling with the sex issue for some time. My unwillingness to have sex on the first or second date is what's stopping me from meeting anyone else. It's also the reason I allowed myself to become attached to this guy (I had to hang on to him cause he was the only one who wouldn't pressure me for casual sex). My stupid morals are the root of this whole problem. Time for me to trash them.

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RE: what every newbie should know about trainers - 9/6/2006 7:49:59 AM

defiantbadgirl

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Ooops, I better clarify myself before I'm accused of contradicting myself. I will have bondage and casual sex only with men who respect me enough to take me out on a date.......this goes for all men, not just the trainer.

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RE: what every newbie should know about trainers - 9/6/2006 8:41:43 AM

Tamerofwild1s

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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Trainers and those who are "married, but looking" have something in common. Both are emotionally unavailable and both search for partners to use on a short term basis. I used to think a trainer was someone who preferred an inexperiencd partner because they could train without having to untrain. I'm going to tell my own experience to better explain. I joined this sight as a newby. When the guy I became involved with told me he was a trainer, I thought I had found the perfect situation. I didn't know what the title "trainer " in the bdsm world meant. I really cared for this man and was very good to him. In return, he ignored me on Valentine's Day, stood me up on my birthday, refused to ever take me on a date, and constantly cancelled planned sessions because something suddenly came up. As a newby, I thought I was doing something wrong or not learning fast enough and doubled my efforts. In the end, he dumped me when I did nothing whatsoever to deserve it. Trainers only want short term and no amount of effort on the trainees part will convince them otherwise. If I had known what a trainer was to begin with, it would have saved me a lot of heartache. There are plenty of doms and switches out there not seeking a short term fling who are willing to train someone with little or no experience. I hope this warning will prevent someone else from being hurt.

Just a thought before you go slamming every trainer out there ..... not all of us dump for no reason. yes I have become emotionally detached due to training . could you imagine what an emotional wreck a person would be to train someone and then see them go off to another Dom/Master ...

It would appear reading your rant that you got hooked up with a "bad" trainer . it happens but not a reason to go slamming all trainers . I personally help girls find a Master who is right for them after they have been trained .... and yes I am emotionally detached but . I do call and ask how your doing . or wish you happy valentines day .....

_____________________________

A building get torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that it is true about everything - family, friends, feelings - but now I know that sometimes if love proves real, and two people are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart ~

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RE: what every newbie should know about trainers - 9/6/2006 8:45:31 AM

Dnomyar

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What kind of a date would I have to take you out on to satisfy you?

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RE: what every newbie should know about trainers - 9/6/2006 8:46:33 AM

Dnomyar

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By the way having morals isnt stupid. not having them is.

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RE: what every newbie should know about trainers - 9/6/2006 9:04:10 AM

texancutie

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He will just move on to someone else. They always do. Also, I do understand that you hope to find someone that can help you satisfy your desires. But that guy is not a Dominant. He is a vanilla guy who just likes kink. If you want to settle for that you can't complain. You know the score. Just never expect him to care about you, or to be with you, other than the kinky sex and the bondage. Also just an FYI since you made a big deal about how Christian he was. Christianity unfortunately has issues with BDSM, so I would try to get over the moral thing in a way that is ok for you. I understand you do not want to be with just anyone, but don't get too worked up over the Christianity part either. People are people...there are both good and bad out there...whatever religion. Find a decent balance that works for you. You can still be a good person.

If you can find yourself a Mentor...and I mean a real one. Not a fake one. A real Mentor will never play with you or have sex with you. He or she just helps you learn what the lifestyle is. And I say lifestyle for lack of a better term...lol. They are there to give you reading material and to answer your questions. Also real Trainers usually have a code of honor and follow it. Fake ones just say they are Trainers to use submissives. So there are real Trainers out there that are good and a bunch of fakes that are not. The fakes give everything a bad name.

(in reply to LordCadence)

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RE: what every newbie should know about trainers - 9/6/2006 9:08:02 AM

texancutie

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lol Dnomyar...what are you doing here? Saw your previous post about wanting to have sex with me. Hey at least you are honest...hehe.

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RE: what every newbie should know about trainers - 9/6/2006 9:24:08 AM

Dnomyar

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new computer at work cutie cant get into chat so have to dewell here.

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RE: what every newbie should know about trainers - 9/6/2006 9:28:57 AM

Dnomyar

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cutie send me your yahoo IM thru my cm mail

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RE: what every newbie should know about trainers - 9/6/2006 9:32:31 AM

Tamerofwild1s

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TexanCutie .. now theres a name that fits well

_____________________________

A building get torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that it is true about everything - family, friends, feelings - but now I know that sometimes if love proves real, and two people are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart ~

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RE: what every newbie should know about trainers - 9/6/2006 10:47:10 AM

KatyLied

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I think the op is more interested in getting a date than doing bondage. The date seems to be a recurring theme.

Tamer...in case you missed it....she was doing bondage with a FITNESS trainer.

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

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RE: what every newbie should know about trainers - 9/6/2006 11:17:16 AM

Tamerofwild1s

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lmaoooo that could be interesting in itself ....... hmmmmm

remind me next timeto pay more attention to the fitness detail . thank you katyLied

_____________________________

A building get torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that it is true about everything - family, friends, feelings - but now I know that sometimes if love proves real, and two people are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart ~

(in reply to KatyLied)

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RE: what every newbie should know about trainers - 9/6/2006 2:47:12 PM

singmenohymns

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For a twist on this, i have a play partner. He doesn't call Himself a trainer.
i don't pretend that this is a relationship nor does He.
But i did have someone tell me the other day that i needed to change my profile
because my play partner owned me and i shouldn't be talking to anyone else.
This play time is not regular nor do i expect to be long term. i am having a good time and so is He.
Just seems like everyone has a different definition of D/s.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

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Post #: 260