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RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives - 9/5/2006 9:51:10 AM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		You must not have E-mailed me as I answer all my messages.

I agree with the notion many say the physical appearance does not matter. I also agree the looks to a lot of us are a bonus and not the driving factor in our choices. I also agree to some it matters more than who someone is on the inside to date pretty on the surface.

Just remember not to lump everyone neatly in your frustrated box. Some of us are too big to fit into it.
Suzanne

(in reply to anondom)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives - 9/5/2006 9:53:03 AM   
raiken


Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline 		i like what i like. Of course i would be lying if i said looks weren't a part of "it".  If Ya aint got my "it", then ah...NEXT!? *grin 
 
Seriously though, i initially value a person's heart and mind over their looks, but come on now! Lets be real.  i for one can't see myself kneeling before someone i find very unpleasant on my eyes...(save the blindfold remarks please-lol) call me shallow if yall want to...i call it being real and honest.  i have to have all of the components working on at least SOME level, which includes physical/chemical attraction.
 
Rant alert!  i have personally observed, that some of those who get all up in arms over the "looks" debate, are some who perhaps have a complex or insecurity of low self image or may just not like or are happy/satisfied with that part of themselves. i noticed that these folks are usually some of the first to start voicing frustrations over this sort of thing. Which is fine, voice frustrations, if you actually believe it will help.  Most of the time what helps (in my opinion)  is to work on developing a better self image and work on being the best ya can be.  Accept the things ya can't change and improve upon the things ya can.  It's all any of us can do to find contentment within and work with what we've got.
 
There have been times, where some have approached one of the Master's i serve and have asked him what he found to be so attractive in me!  They thought his slave should be younger, and that he could do better.  Does shit like that annoy me?  Hell yeah! LOL! It depends on my frame of mind that day. *grin  Do i get frustrated at times with my self image?  You betcha!  But i feel and believe that for myself, that it really is about how i feel inside that causes others to see me for who i am. 
 
If i "aint got" that glow of self confidence, and that energy that attracts, no matter how physically georgeous i appear to be or not, i will only attract what i'm puttin out.  THAT is just the truth of the universal law of attraction.  It doesn't help matters to obess and negatively continue to focus (whine) over the things that i can't change, and that would eventually cause me feel frustrated about myself.  What can always be changed is how i feel about myself.  So despite my short comings, likle my darned age (grimmace) i make it a priority to feel good about all of me.  Its all good! *grin   So when those folks suddenly stop writing to me after they see my pic, and they see i am not 20 something, ah, then i hit the delete key and go back to the top of this here post...  NEXT!?  LOL!  Okay...End of my silly, and what still feels like morning, rant! *smile
 
 

(in reply to anondom)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives - 9/5/2006 10:00:04 AM   
kitty2MLoneWolf


Posts: 149
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: toy2006

I'm after the cock. Perfection for me is having a cock too thick and long to get into me, and give me pain stuffing it into me...


WOW>. <looks at the puddle on the floor>... if there are any of those in the DFW area.. email me... :)

_____________________________

used to be jessieme but I got a life <grin>

Dont worry about what other people think....they dont do it very often!

(in reply to toy2006)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives - 9/5/2006 10:03:01 AM   
UnvailedPurpose


Posts: 61
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		Personally I prefer a female that is not Hollywood bound, in fact, my preferences are a plane Jane capable of demonstrating both intellect and intelligence. A woman with an uninhibited sex drive and the expertise to bring to the forefront those screaming clawing sweating multiple climaxes on an everyday repeating and repeating bases. But wait, is a sub supposed to be human and experience the natural driving forces nature instilled?

(in reply to BBBTBW)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives - 9/5/2006 10:14:11 AM   
Owned1


Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline 		I am not sure how this thread again went off on the bbw track.  In regard to the op you said you posted an ugly pic - what is ugly??  One persons ugly is anothers attractive.  In regard to no answers to the profile with no pic, that is normal in the online world If you want responses post a pic.  If you want more responses post a pic other than a poor cam pic without taking some time to present yourself in your best light.

All live beings are attracted to certain characteristics, hair colour, teeth or lack of, size, eye colour etc.  Even if we look to nature and animals there are things that attract the opposite sex.

It is a fact many people male and female are visual, and are attracted by characteritics.  There needs to be some click if you cant stand to look at the person you are with would you be with them?

An interesting experiment, non scientific however, simply interesting.  Not surprising either.

Owned

_____________________________

~~in His Chains i am free~~

(in reply to UnvailedPurpose)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives - 9/5/2006 10:18:41 AM   
MissyRane


Posts: 1032
Joined: 5/11/2005
Status: offline 		*yawn* why bother putting up these stupid threads............

(in reply to Owned1)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives - 9/5/2006 10:44:18 AM   
raiken


Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline 		Cuz some folks just hafta vent.

(in reply to MissyRane)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives - 9/5/2006 10:49:11 AM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline 		Seriously though, if someone is not going to be a turn on, why bother?

(in reply to raiken)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives - 9/5/2006 11:00:19 AM   
bigdaninwi


Posts: 35
Joined: 5/31/2005
Status: offline 		Amuzing said "As i remember in my younger days *cough cough* looks mattered a great deal more in my 20's then they do now. In my 20's yes i was more attracted to the classicaly handsome man."

Hey didn't you call me a classically handsome man on Friday Night?  *Does the Big Bad Dom Stomp, taps my foot impatiently and looks over my glasses for the gasping response."

No Seriously, my submissive (Amuzing) and I held these conversations between us a great deal over the past couple of months.  I DO NOT hold the classic american ideal of form as beautiful!! GASP! I know, I have my own perference and my own mind! GASP! However, in this case, my submissive is classically beautiful with a delightful spirit and soul. 

So I agree with my submissive, trying to study mail responses to females is very difficult, since all women tend to get much more mail then us ugly men.

PS: What the hell is the definition of a handsome man?

Hugg Missi

Thanks All

< Message edited by bigdaninwi -- 9/5/2006 11:15:42 AM >

_____________________________

"Loving the master - Not as apprentices do, loves a master as a master."

Nietzche

"On the Genealogy of Morals."

(in reply to amuzingtoyou)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives - 9/5/2006 11:00:23 AM   
LadyMorgynn


Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline 		Because to some of us, this lifestyle is NOT only about sex.  To some of us it is about the mind, about power and control.  Physical appearance is far less important to me than a sub's desire to serve, to adore and worship and please and give himself up to me. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

Seriously though, if someone is not going to be a turn on, why bother?


_____________________________

---
Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

(in reply to Homestead)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives - 9/5/2006 11:07:49 AM   
kittencurious


Posts: 21
Joined: 8/5/2004
Status: offline 		this thread was long overdue

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives - 9/5/2006 11:09:16 AM   
windy135


Posts: 437
Joined: 10/17/2005
Status: offline 		For me age plays a big role in the matter.  So I would be more likely to reply with interest to someone who is big, ugly, and young rather than old.  Nothing against older Doms at all.  It's just my preference at this point in my life.  Interesting thread though.  Society affects us all even if we swear we don't attend to it's unrealistic assumptions.

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives - 9/5/2006 11:11:16 AM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I just wonder why gorean women don't put up pictures of wrinkled old hags and we never see pictures of Dwarvish women, only cute little pixies and fairies.

(in reply to windy135)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives - 9/5/2006 11:14:41 AM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

I just wonder why gorean women don't put up pictures of wrinkled old hags and we never see pictures of Dwarvish women, only cute little pixies and fairies.


*Cough cough*..........have you seen thier actual pictures Crappy?

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives - 9/5/2006 11:17:30 AM   
GeekyGirl


Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline 		I think that a certain percentage of women in general, regardless of their weight, can be rather shallow.

I myself am a heavy girl and personally, I do not judge others on being heavy. However, I am also not so morbidly obese that I can't run a mile, or go on a hiking excursion, therefore, I tend to seek men who are able to at least keep up with me.

I have dated quite a few men in who were between 50-100lbs overweight. and found them quite attractive, both for their bodies and their personalities. Once they get more than 100lbs or so overweight, I'm no longer attracted, for I feel that they wouldn't be able to enjoy the same activities I do in regards to walking, bicycling, horse back riding, etc.

As far as looks go, I have always tried not to be overly shallow. I often don't even ask to see a picture of a man online until I've been speaking to him for several days. At that point, I'll basically say, "Now I'm not shallow, but I would like to ascertain that you are at least vaguely human in appearance, as opposed to looking rather more like an ogre or troll."   I DO have certain standards and they are mostly the same standards to which I hold myself, ie that he must appear clean, take half-way decent care of his teeth, wear clean  clothing, be physically fit enough to spend  a day walking through the zoo, brush his hair etc.

So if I see a picture of a 400lb man with horrible yellow teeth and unkempt hair, I am not going to respond to him.Not because I'm shallow but because a man who doesn't take care of himself will likely not take care of me.

As long as he meets my minimum standards, I'll give the guy a chance. And ironically, the best lovers I've had, the ones who drove me wild to the point where just thinking abut them makes me wet, are the ones who I initially had very little physical attractive for.

It's amazing how much more attractive a man seems after he gives you mutlitple orgasms! All of a sudden, regardless of his looks, when you see him , you think "sexy."

So for those reasons, I have dated quite a few homely men. I still have preferences though and a man who meets my preferences is definately going to get a response from me, provided he seems intelligent and compatible. Ironically, I've only ever been with one man (my first lover) who really was exactly the kind of guy that I'm initally attracted to on a purely physical level. I tend to really go for tall, slightly husky guys with dark hair and blue eyes...YUMMMMM!

However, on a side note, I was contacted by a wonderful local dominant just this week who meets that description exactly and I'll admit to shallowly being very, very attracted to him based on his looks! (He's also in h is mid-30's and I happen to find men in that age range to be devilishly sexy! Just another one of those personal preference things.)


< Message edited by GeekyGirl -- 9/5/2006 11:45:37 AM >

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives - 9/5/2006 11:19:49 AM   
wild1cfl


Posts: 567
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline 		First of all to me, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. My wife is a BBw as we so often like to refer to a woman who is larger than the norm. However that does not mean that she is not sexy, erotic and sensual, quite the opposite in fact. She is also a Dominant female that is more interested in a submissive who has the right attitude with her rather than the size he or she is. So that means that she does not care how big your cock is. She cares more how big your mind is. We have had submissives that have been BBWs as well as having submissives who are a more accepted size. Some of them were horrible submissives and some were wonderful submissives, and it was not because of their size it was because of their capacity to be open to their submission and not be all about kinky sex. We look more for a person who desires to serve us and we in turn give them what they desire in the way of Dominance.    

_____________________________

Wild

My Falcon now is sharp, and passing empty; And, till she stoop, she shall not be full gorg'd, For then she never looks upon her lure. Another way i have to man my haggard, to make her come and know her keeper's call. Wm. Shakespeare

(in reply to anondom)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives - 9/5/2006 11:19:51 AM   
GeekyGirl


Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

I just wonder why gorean women don't put up pictures of wrinkled old hags and we never see pictures of Dwarvish women, only cute little pixies and fairies.


I happen to think I look quite a bit like a female dwarf. I'm short and chunky (but no beard thankfully.)

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives - 9/5/2006 11:20:05 AM   
LostInIndy


Posts: 1
Joined: 9/4/2006
Status: offline 		Geeky Girl.......I couldn't have said it better myself

(in reply to GeekyGirl)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives - 9/5/2006 11:25:17 AM   
GeekyGirl


Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

Anything is possible, but look at what is reasonable. People who work out and take care of thier bodies usually want a match for that. They are aware of the health reasons. Many will not have much respect for those they percieve do not value thier health in the same way. Nor will they enjoy the stress of being with one they percieve may suffer some calamity from it.




While I agree with this, I'll point out that you can't judge how well a person cares for their body based on their looks.My best friend is skinny as a rail, has never set foot in a gym and eats hamburgers and french fries all the time!

My friend may look healthier, but I'm the one with better blood pressure and I can run farther, lift more weight, etc.

(in reply to Homestead)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives - 9/5/2006 11:26:08 AM   
subfever


Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline 		For most men, attraction is not a choice. We are either attracted to someone, or we're not.

We can't even rationalize ourselves into being attracted to someone because they're nice, have a good job, influential, wealthy, a humanitarian, a great parent, kink aware and involved, or whatever the case may be.

That's the way it is for me, anyway.

From what I understand, however, the female pysche works a little differently than males when it comes to attraction. While males are primarily focused on visual, physical attributes, females are far more likely to feel attraction via non-visual, non-physical attributes... typically those that deal with face-to-face personality/character traits.

Women cannot feel attraction to these non-visual face-to-face personality attributes on online profiles. So in this regards, they will behave similarly to men. 

Therefore, your experiment doesn't surprise me in the least.  

(in reply to anondom)
Profile   Post #: 60
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