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RE: The submissive`s need. - 1/19/2005 10:45:01 AM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
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if the sub/slave isn't happy serving his/her dom/master, then why stay? If you're there you must be happy or content. Welcome to the life style.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to nella)

Post #: 21

RE: The submissive`s need. - 1/19/2005 10:47:43 AM

INSIDEYOURMIND

Posts: 483
Status: offline

nella,

It would appear that you have shown up with a pea shooter to a gun fight.

I suggest ya give it up already, you are just digging a deeper ditch.

_____________________________

If I got smart with you.................
How would you know?

(in reply to nella)

Post #: 22

RE: The submissive`s need. - 1/19/2005 10:47:58 AM

ProtagonistLily

Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline

Expectations....

What I expect is varied opinions on a public forum. Some I agree with, some I don't, and some aren't even worth the time for me to respond.

I like Jules's sarcasm. I enjoy her phrasing and the way she says things. I don't always agree with her, but I am self aware enough to take her opinions into context.

Nella, you aren't driving your stock up by continuing to rant on like this. If I were you, I'd heed the advice to either block or simply ingnore posters who you don't agree with, or are feeling in some way persecuted by.

Because darlin, no matter how hard you fight, you wont' win this one.

Lily

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to nella)

Post #: 23

RE: The submissive`s need. - 1/19/2005 10:48:30 AM

nella

Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline

It is not aboute if you fit for the lifestyle or not, it is if that relationship you are currently having is a fitting one ofr your or not. There is more than one type of D/s relationship.

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

Post #: 24

RE: The submissive`s need. - 1/19/2005 10:54:35 AM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

In one sentance can you tell me what your original post means? With one sentance tell me what your posting is all about. Straight to the point.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to nella)

Post #: 25

RE: The submissive`s need. - 1/19/2005 10:56:42 AM

onceburned

Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline

quote:

Do not the sub also have a right to be happy, and even if the Dom do deside, should no the sub`s needs be taking into consideration to?

A sub has a right to be happy, of course - it is a basic human need. And a Dom who wants the relationship to grow and thrive will make sure that he pays attention to the sub's need for happiness.

I would guess (since I lack experience) that the same thing holds true in a Master/slave relationship. If a slave has no happiness, she will (and should) walk away. The master is responsible for the slaves well-being and this includes all basic human needs...but it is up to him to figure out how best to meet those needs within the structure of their relationship.

Nella, I think you are afraid of an abusive relationship. Not physically abusive but emotionally and spiritually abusive - one that would crush a sub/slave and exploit them.

But abuse is contrary to D/s/

(in reply to nella)

Post #: 26

RE: The submissive`s need. - 1/19/2005 11:06:41 AM

ProtagonistLily

Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Nella, I think you are afraid of an abusive relationship. Not physically abusive but emotionally and spiritually abusive - one that would crush a sub/slave and exploit them.

But abuse is contrary to D/s/

I would agree with you, however, abuse is a very valid concern. Even though it is completely antithetical to what we, are all about, it does happen.

And I think the liklihood of it happening increases with the amount of people who decide they are submissive or Dominant because of the internet. I am NOT saying anyone who's identified as 'kinky' via the internet is an abuser. However, I think that people who only have a fantasy or on paper knowledge of what BDSM is about, run the risk of being abused or abusers.

There was no one more private than I was when I sought out my local scene. I am, and am still very concerned about my own privacy vis a vis my 'vanilla' life. I have a shit load to lose if confronted in vanilla about my BDSM life. However, I made a very calculated decision to enter the scene to learn, to meet people, to make friends, and to stop hiding from who and what I knew I was about.

I discount submissives who tell me they are not willing to hook up with their local scene. I am not suggesting that you ever have to play publically. What I am suggesting, however, is that you can learn, watch, see how people truely operate in real life.

Lily

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to onceburned)

Post #: 27

RE: The submissive`s need. - 1/19/2005 11:23:17 AM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
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Jules is one cat I woudn't want to fight with. Other than that the can the two of you settle this under private msg. I don't see a reason to take up web space posting stuff no one really cares to read. I myself perfer reponses to threads sticking to the topic unless it's really funny. If you ask a question, you're going to get an answer and it's not always going to be what you want to hear.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to INSIDEYOURMIND)

Post #: 28

RE: The submissive`s need. - 1/19/2005 11:37:12 AM

GoddessJules

Posts: 549
Status: offline

Fangs,

Don't put yourself in the position where I'd have to spank ya. . . oh wait!!!! You might like that too much

J

_____________________________

A pig's pussy is still pork, just like a bull's balls are still beef.
Click here to visit my site

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

Post #: 29

RE: The submissive`s need. - 1/19/2005 12:02:16 PM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

I agree with the 'perfection' conception that can exist for some Dominants.

However, I would also like to add that there are some subs and slaves who have the same thoughts. There are many slaves/subs whos single goal is to submit and serve totally... whos only need is to serve and nothing else. To make their Dominant happy. They serve, they submit and their entire life revolves around their Dominant. They have no need for a hobby, or for time alone... If a subslave needs fulfills them.. and they find such an outlet..then good luck to them.
And as m'Lady Jules said(forgive me if I have misinterpreted), if a Dominant has set rules, wants a slave to serve them constantly, does not wish their slave to have hobbies... has a set of rules ... then why should they relinquish what they Desire as a Dominant?

If a Dom doesnt expect their sub to have needs, then thats between them.

If a sub has needs then that sub should be aware of those needs and submit only to a Dominant that can fulfil them.

Subs/slaves/bottoms/kajiras/pets... whatever you call yourself.... have needs. But only to the extent of the Dominant within the dynamic decides. If you dont like it, be you Top/bottom/Dominia/Dominant/Master/Mistress/kajira/slave/switch/submissive....(inhale deep and breathes).... don't get involved. JMO.

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to nella)

Post #: 30

RE: The submissive`s need. - 1/19/2005 12:17:32 PM

INSIDEYOURMIND

Posts: 483
Status: offline

angel,

I am standing and applauding you!

Very well said!

_____________________________

If I got smart with you.................
How would you know?

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 31

RE: The submissive`s need. - 1/19/2005 12:18:57 PM

GoddessJules

Posts: 549
Status: offline

quote:

angel,

I am standing and applauding you!

Very well said!

I would have to concur with you Jeffrey (and by the way, my name is Yvette. . .nice to meet ya LOL

)

She is truly a breath of fresh air every time I read her posts.

J

_____________________________

A pig's pussy is still pork, just like a bull's balls are still beef.
Click here to visit my site

(in reply to INSIDEYOURMIND)

Post #: 32

RE: The submissive`s need. - 1/19/2005 12:28:09 PM

sweetpleaser

Posts: 689
Joined: 8/5/2004
From: Florida
Status: offline

Hi Jules:

It is okay for a Dom to be strict with his rules and overbearing, to each his own. He may find someone who likes that in a Dom. I would be happy for them. I believe, however, that Doms who are like that are not going to have a lot of luck keeping a slave under those conditions and they may find they need to tone it down or part ways. It's kind of like supply and demand; I believe there are a lot more Doms than slaves out there. JMO.

_____________________________

~ann~

It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.--Mae West

(in reply to GoddessJules)

Post #: 33

RE: The submissive`s need. - 1/19/2005 12:31:45 PM

GoddessJules

Posts: 549
Status: offline

quote:

It's kind of like supply and demand; I believe there are a lot more Doms than slaves out there. JMO.

Hallo Sweet,

You may very well be right on this matter. But as a FemDom, the numbers tilt in our favors so perhaps we can get away with being more demanding. . .or more specifically, I can get away with being a little Cuntlet

J

_____________________________

A pig's pussy is still pork, just like a bull's balls are still beef.
Click here to visit my site

(in reply to sweetpleaser)

Post #: 34

RE: The submissive`s need. - 1/19/2005 12:52:45 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetpleaser
Hi Jules:

It is okay for a Dom to be strict with his rules and overbearing, to each his own. I believe, however, that Doms who are like that are not going to have a lot of luck ...It's kind of like supply and demand; I believe there are a lot more Doms than slaves out there. JMO.

Dear Sweetpleaser,
It is just as Jules was saying to Nella, "to each his own", and it Always is a consent driven relationship, so that if a sub/slave is not happy with the treatment he/she is getting, he/she should leave, and go find a more suitable one; that is the prerogative of every person in any relationship.

I hope that Nella is not suggesting that her submission style is the only true way, just as Jules wouldn't be foolish enough to think that Her style is. As for playing the odds, isn't that why loving/being okay with yourself is important, so you don't have to settle for the sake of couplehood? M

(in reply to sweetpleaser)

Post #: 35

RE: The submissive`s need. - 1/19/2005 2:47:20 PM

1RottenJohnny

Posts: 113
Joined: 11/12/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

Jules is one cat I woudn't want to fight with.

Actually, I think Jules is someone I'd like to drink whiskey with!

_____________________________

Compassion is a wonderful thing...taken in moderation!

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

Post #: 36

RE: The submissive`s need. - 1/19/2005 3:32:31 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

I'll drink to that. And as for the fighting quote, well mud wrestleing sounds fun.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to 1RottenJohnny)

Post #: 37

RE: The submissive`s need. - 1/19/2005 5:26:25 PM

malepleases4ever

Posts: 47
Status: offline

< Message edited by malepleases4ever -- 1/20/2005 12:28:02 AM >

(in reply to nella)

Post #: 38

RE: The submissive`s need. - 1/19/2005 6:00:19 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: malepleases4ever

Only here could people trash a post advocating basic human rights (that's the point of the original post ), and chase the user from the board.

http://www.collarme.com/forum/fb.asp?m=60696

Only here?

Have you been anywhere else on the net?

Too, on this kind of site, there -are- people who do not believe in "basic human rights" if it's ok with their partners, who are we to say that's a bad thing?

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to malepleases4ever)

Post #: 39

RE: The submissive`s need. - 1/19/2005 6:01:12 PM

GoddessJules

Posts: 549
Status: offline

quote:

Only here could people trash a post advocating basic human rights (that's the point of the original post ), and chase the user from the board.

I don't think that was the case. This person was making a sweeping generalizations as to the needs/requirements of all subs/slaves. I'm sure none of us have had the privledge of meeting them all to make *any* sort of generalization.

I don't think that anyone chased her off the boards. Since I was the one "fighting" with her (and I sure didn't view it as a fight) I can say that I have not contacted her personally. Once again I'll post what I initially closed with:

quote:

What it *really* boils down to is what the people involved and how they want to go about it.

And just for the sake of argument, (since you are talking about "basic human rights") what are the basic human rights of a slave?

J

_____________________________

A pig's pussy is still pork, just like a bull's balls are still beef.
Click here to visit my site

(in reply to malepleases4ever)

Post #: 40

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