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RE: What's the difference between a slave and a submiss... - 10/14/2006 9:43:57 PM

adaddysgirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Iskander

*Starts filling the wading pool with lime jelly/jello*
*puts up posters and starts selling tickets*

Iskander...

Don't bother with the jello Iskander. It will obviously never be physical. But want to put your money on something mental? Odds are with me. i guarantee that.

DG

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RE: What's the difference between a slave and a submiss... - 10/14/2006 9:48:49 PM

DiurnalVampire

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And you call other people names? That is one hell of a chip on your shoulder, make sure it doesnt tip you over.
I have no stake in this conversation at all. I made my statement a ways back. But when it comes to presenting opinions, its attitudes like that which are why the forums devolve into name calling and flaming rather than enjoyable discussions.

*sigh*

DV

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VampiresLair

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RE: What's the difference between a slave and a submiss... - 10/14/2006 10:21:22 PM

adaddysgirl

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Are you talking to me DV?

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RE: What's the difference between a slave and a submiss... - 10/14/2006 10:25:11 PM

Iskander

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Huh?

Iskander...

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RE: What's the difference between a slave and a submiss... - 10/14/2006 10:35:13 PM

Aine

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If you take a look at the bottom right corner of her post, it shows who she replied to.

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Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

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RE: What's the difference between a slave and a submiss... - 10/14/2006 10:40:34 PM

Iskander

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Yes it was in response to me, but why...

Iskander...

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RE: What's the difference between a slave and a submiss... - 10/14/2006 11:07:26 PM

BitaTruble

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Asako

I'm a little new to the lifestyle, and noticed the two options when filling out my profile. What is the difference?

I read this entire thread and am just curious if the discussion here has helped you determine which choice is best for you?

Is there any one post or point which helped to clarify things in your mind? I ask because perhaps we can use that as a starting point the next time this discussion comes up. If there is something which jumps out at someone who is new, those of us with a little rust under our hoods might wish to pay attention to it .. we, too, have much to learn.

I won't go into the difference as I see it, because it would, truly, be only my own opinion and even then, only as it relates to my own experiences. At this point, I'm much more interested in what you have to say on the subject as someone fairly new and seeking clarity.

Celeste

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RE: What's the difference between a slave and a submiss... - 10/14/2006 11:20:19 PM

adaddysgirl

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Bita,

Asako hasn't responded in 147 posts...lol. Not sure where he is....but obviously not here

DG

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RE: What's the difference between a slave and a submiss... - 10/14/2006 11:24:49 PM

BitaTruble

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quote:

ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl

Bita,

Asako hasn't responded in 147 posts...lol. Not sure where he is....but obviously not here

DG

Yes, I know. But I tend towards hopeful that he is, at least, reading but if not, that's OK. I have long felt that hopeful was better than hopeless. :)

Celeste

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RE: What's the difference between a slave and a submiss... - 10/15/2006 4:16:24 AM

twicehappy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: spankmepink11

As for the hole in the floor example, i believe i would have asked if He would like me to fix the other problems as well. I don't think that makes either of us right or wrong, just different.
Would He have been angered by me asking that?

In the beginning i would have asked him exactly the same kind of questions, and yes he would get tired of it, and yes he got pissed about it on occasion. I often heard "you do not trust me, it makes me upset, you have to trust me and do what i tell you and it will be ok".

Don't think this means they tell me daily in detail exactly what to do. Truth be told i order my own days as to what i am taking care of for the most part; i know what needs to be done and i do it but in the manner i know they expect or in the manner needed to best accomplish the job.

I do my best everyday to please both of them and they know that and rarely bother or feel the need to say "do this" because chances are it's done.

But when he gives me a specific order, in this case fix the hole in the floor, i just do it. I do not question, i do not hesitate, i do exactly what he tells me to do trusting in two simple facts. The first is that if he wanted it done differently or in a certain manner he would have told me so, the second is that if he comes back and looks at what i've done as long as i did what he told me to there is no guilt on me nor will he be upset with me, there is where the accountability comes in.

Yes there are things we discuss, yes there are times i put in my opinion but if they say do i just go do.

We went shopping for a different kind of electrical wire so i can install some three way switches, Scooter knew i knew what was needed so at that point he deferred to my opinion but if he had not and had purchased the wrong wire i would have installed it and when the lights did not work he would not have said a word to me. Again it is accountability.

I owned no underwear when i got here, i cannot stand the things, the first week i was here they dragged me to Vickie's and bought me some. Scooter then made a rule, under anything but jeans he wanted me bare and accessible but under jeans he wanted panties to protect those parts he wanted to abuse. If we are dressed up to go out and those parts are seen because i have a short skirt on i expect him to handle any situation arising from the exposure. Again it is accountability.

On that note, if you happen to um..... forget your panties i have a drawer full of brand new ones you could take home with you, lol.......

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RE: What's the difference between a slave and a submiss... - 10/15/2006 4:21:50 AM

ShiftedJewel

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quote:

On that note, if you happen to um..... forget your panties i have a drawer full of brand new ones you could take home with you, lol.......

Or not.

Jewel

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RE: What's the difference between a slave and a submiss... - 10/15/2006 4:23:50 AM

twicehappy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

quote:

On that note, if you happen to um..... forget your panties i have a drawer full of brand new ones you could take home with you, lol.......

Or not.

Hey now i was just trying to be hospitable..........lmao...grins.

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RE: What's the difference between a slave and a submiss... - 10/15/2006 5:15:02 AM

ScooterTrash

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quote:

ORIGINAL: spankmepink11

As for the hole in the floor example, i believe i would have asked if He would like me to fix the other problems as well. I don't think that makes either of us right or wrong, just different.
Would He have been angered by me asking that?

Angered? No. But if when asked, if I replied no, then I would anticipate that being a sufficient answer. I might have had a reason, not that I can think of one right now...lol.

quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy
We went shopping for a different kind of electrical wire so i can install some three way switches, Scooter knew i knew what was needed so at that point he deferred to my opinion but if he had not and had purchased the wrong wire i would have installed it and when the lights did not work he would not have said a word to me. Again it is accountability.

She is correct here. At the point I decide to not utilize the information provided, then the responsibility passes to me. Or if I had not been open to opinion at all, again, it was my call, my responsibility.

I guess the point she is trying to make, is that not in all instances is an explanation necessary because if she does literally what she is told, at that point, the burden of accountability falls to the one giving direction. It's not micromanaging, it's more a matter of following directives without question, because the trust is there that what is being asked for is exactly what is wanted. Translated over to a BDSM scene, if I told her to raise her leg up because I was going to chain it to the bedpost, I would not expect to be asked...why?

< Message edited by ScooterTrash -- 10/15/2006 5:16:29 AM >

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RE: What's the difference between a slave and a submiss... - 10/15/2006 5:21:34 AM

adaddysgirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: spankmepink11

Hi adaddysgirl,
That very thing has come up in past relationships. I simply handled it by doing what was requested of me. I may be strange, but sometimes the fact that a certain activity seems unpleasant to me adds some sort of bizarre attraction. That being said, I'm also very thorough in my expression of limits at the onset of the relationship, i expect and encourage my Partner to do the same. One partner expressed certain desires that early into my self exploration was considered a hard limit, i took the time to research the subject and after finding that it held no serious health risks decided it was not a hard limit at all. It might not be something i longed to do....but again, the idea of doing something i may find unpleasant as a sign of devotion or obedience turns me on...(win win situation).

So it sounds like you pretty much already know all of your limits. i guess i am not so certain i do yet. i see a lot of things on the "Interests" list here that i have never tried and couldn't say with certainty that i would like or not.

You see, my renegotiations (for lack of a better term) really involved sexual play more than anything. Once the limits were set within the dynamics of the relationship, i had no problem with the everyday rules and submitting that way. Mine came about when particular "kinks" were introduced and i luckily had a partner(s) who wanted me to try different things and if i didn't like them, then we didn't have to continue with them. That was just our agreement.

An example that always sticks in my head (like a bad nightmare...lol) is when my then partner wanted me to drink his urine (he was big into watersports). But i'll tell ya....this guy drank Coke all day long...and not a lick of water. His uring was dark brown and quite pungent. Well, i just couldn't do it. Actually, i told him to go first....lol.

i doubt there was any health issue with that as i am sure others have drank worse but there was just no way i could get it past my nose....let alone my lips....lol.

My "negotiation processs" usually takes place over an extended time period which gives us both ample time to explore and understand one anothers desires and limits.

That sounds like a good idea. i'll have to try that should the opportunity ever arise again

Thanks for the response.

DG

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RE: What's the difference between a slave and a submiss... - 10/15/2006 6:18:50 AM

Sinergy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

I will probably get heat for it, but I imagine it is like Germany and France prior to World War 1.

I wanted to correct this. The Maginot Line was built in France after World War 1 in order to prevent a German attack against the Sudetenland. France believed, at the time, that their fortifications would overpower the Germans if they attacked and the attack devolved into the trench warfare similar to World War 1.

The Germans flew over the Maginot Line and dropped in paratroopers to attack from the rear, a direction which the fortifications were not designed to repel an attack from.

I find this curious because it seems a common factor in warfare; everybody seems to prepare for yesterday's war today.

The Civil War in America should have taught generals that sending ground forces against massed artillery was a bad idea. World War 1 shows that generals cannot be taught from history.

Napoleon's defeat by the Russians should have taught Hitler that invading Russia was a poor idea due to it's sheer size.

The French Resistance in World War 2 should have taught generals that the days of taking and holding territory is seldom workable. But the US lost 55,000+ soldiers trying to take and hold territory in Vietnam.

While I am not sure I would cross the street to urinate in his mouth if his teeth caught on fire, Rumsfeld (despite his difficulty articulating the concept) at least looks to possible future changes in the way men conduct war.

Not that he applied this sort of thinking to his Iraq debacle.

Just me, could be wrong, but there you go.

Sinergy

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RE: What's the difference between a slave and a submiss... - 10/15/2006 7:28:54 AM

Rover

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Actually, the Sudetenland had nothing to do with France or the Maginot line (named after Andre Maginot, the French Minister of War who supervised its construction).

The Sudetenland, after World War I, became part of Czechoslovakia. Germany obtained the Sudetenland without the use of overt force (ie: without bloodshed) via negotiations with Great Britain, France and Italy. German troops then occupied the Sudetenland about a year and a half before crossing the Maginot line in France.

http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/GERsudetenland.htm

Just me, could be wrong, but I'm not.

John

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RE: What's the difference between a slave and a submiss... - 10/15/2006 7:34:21 AM

Iskander

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He possibly means the Alsatz region, which has always been a bone of contention between the 2 nations...

Iskander...

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RE: What's the difference between a slave and a submiss... - 10/15/2006 7:39:53 AM

justheather

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quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy
We went shopping for a different kind of electrical wire so i can install some three way switches, Scooter knew i knew what was needed so at that point he deferred to my opinion but if he had not and had purchased the wrong wire i would have installed it and when the lights did not work he would not have said a word to me. Again it is accountability.

This describes a kind of dynamic Ive never encountered before. Is this something that is specific to your M/s relationship or do you know other people who would act the same way?
Are you saying that unless you are asked, you do not even offer information, respectfully and with deference, that would make your master's life less complicated?
If this is something that is common in M/s relationships, Id have to say you have a pretty valid point of differentiation between submissive and slave.
I dont believe I know anyone, even a person who identifies herself as a slave, who would handle the situation in that manner. (And since I seem to be misunderstood today for some reason, Id like to clarify that Im not saying there is something wrong with it.)

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RE: What's the difference between a slave and a submiss... - 10/15/2006 7:50:00 AM

Rover

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Gosh, as I review this in greater detail I must note:

Like Napoleon, the Germans in WWII were defeated in Russia by the weather and poor supply lines. Rather than consolidating the territory gained, reinforcing their supply lines, and waiting until spring to press the battle, Hitler insisted that the German forces press on through first the mud, and then the bitter winter. They were unable to concurrently supply their armies for winter, and provide materiel for prosecution of the war at the same time. And still, they came within a hair's breadth of breaking the Red Army.

The Civil War taught Lincoln (and rightly so) that the Confederate Army was ill-equipped (cripes, the battle of Gettysburg was because the Confederates were in search of shoes for crying out loud), ill-supplied, and under manned and that the way to win was the use of overwhelming force (not minor skirmishes for fear of losing a few of your own men). Once Generals such as Grant and Sherman pressed the issue, the war turned decidedly in the North's favor. Use of overwhelming force has been a successful tactic ever since, and was even the linchpin of the "Powell Doctrine" in the first Gulf War.

The French should have learned that they cannot use negotiation as protection from armed conflict (of course, they aren't so proficient at armed conflict so maybe that's their best option). France has had plenty of opportunities to learn about failed military tactics, now all they need to do is learn how to win.

And now I hope that somebody can tell me what all of this has to do with BDSM in general, or the difference between a slave and submissive in particular. Please, somebody... anybody?

John

< Message edited by Rover -- 10/15/2006 8:48:41 AM >

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RE: What's the difference between a slave and a submiss... - 10/15/2006 7:57:50 AM

KatyLied

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quote:

but if he had not and had purchased the wrong wire i would have installed it

I also wondered if this was a slave thing. I would not install wire that I knew was wrong for the job. It seems like a waste of time and effort to me.

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