pixelslave
Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
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ORIGINAL: submit2one
Being courteous, polite and respectful is what I expect from a sub, no more, no less.
On that much we definitely agree! 
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Whether you like it or not, your 'submission' begins at the outset of your communication with any Domme, no matter the context.
A sub who holds their submissive nature aside as some grand prize to be won by the Girl who Grabs the Brass Ring doesn't understand the true meaning of submission.
No, it doesn't mean submitting to the whims of anyone you don't know, it means behaving in a submissive, biddable, willing, polite and respectful manner to any Domme (until for whatever reason they prove themselves to be undeserving of getting to know that side of you). Behaving in a submissive, biddable, willing polite and respectful manner to those you perceive as having identified themselves as a Domme is where true submission starts, it is the foundation for all that comes after.
Yes, the act of submission is a precious, unique and glorious gift; the act of submission and the nature of submissiveness are not the same thing. They are intertwined of course, but the act of submission does not equal submissiveness.
Generally speaking I would agree with you. Being a submissive male is something that is at the core of my being. When I approach a woman that I'm interested in getting to know, my submissive side is certainly something she is going to see and which I'll feel no need to hide. Getting to know her as a woman and a person is something that's important to me. I need that kind of connection before I can begin to genuinely give my submission to her in the form as a Dominant she naturally likes to receive.
To me, it's in part a matter of trust and being prudent about who I allow myself to be vulnerable with, particularly when submitting to them. It's also about mutual respect, and making certain that it exists and will continue to be there before I give my submission to a woman that would not appreciate it for what it is. It isn't a matter of pride, it's a matter of feeling that what I have to offer has value and isn't to be given to just any woman who comes along and labels herself a Domme. To do so, would be disrespectful of myself.
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Behaving as a polite submissive does not mean a sub is bestowing upon someone he hardly knows any act of submission to Her. It merely means he is a true submissive who understands his role within the interaction, no matter how inconsequential that interaction might be.
I like to see that a submissive nature is a part of any sub's inherent nature, not just a character trait that he pulls out of his box of many character traits at various times to use or to withhold at will.
Your example of a man lowering his eyes as a sign of respect, would be an act of submission for me. Showing my submissive nature is something that typically is reserved for only one woman in particular, the Mistress that I have chosen to serve and that has accepted me has hers. I do not choose to be submissive to all women. In my daily life, it would indeed not at all be appropriate for me to behave in such a manner. When I serve a Mistress, withholding my submission is something I find that I am not normally able to choose to do at will, and would typically have no desire to unless I had concern for either my physical or mental health.
That having been said, I am very uncomfortable with the term "true submissive", as that implies to me that it is your definition of what a submissive should be. There's little doubt in my mind, that nearly everyone here would have their own definition of what a "true submissive" should be and that very few would exactly agree on the same definition.
More than anything else, what matters most to me, is the character and the nature of the submission I find within myself that is uniquely a part of me. I'm not here to compare or compete with the other submissives here on CollarMe. I'm especially not here to compare myself with anyone's ideal of what exactly a submissive should be. To my way of thinking, the only thing that really matters, is what a Mistress and I find agreeble between the two of us. With no disrespect intended, whether anyone else concurs, that what two parties have agreed between them fits anyone else's idea of what submission should be, is totally inconsequential to me!
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Being a Domme simply means that I WILL expect the best from you, whether we are writing on a board or perhaps meeting in passing at a BDSM activity. It means that I have a responsibility to be respectful towards you, too, and to be protective of you because you ARE a sub, whether you are My sub, or not. It is the responsibility that goes along with being who and what I am, and with knowing what I know, and with having developed the skills that I have developed.
It seems to me that you are taking on a lot of responsibility that isn't necessarily yours and that there are times when you will also be greatly disappointed in others. It seems to me that its primarily my own responsibility to protect myself from getting involved with people or activities which are unsafe. Just the same, I am very flattered and appreciatiave that you would feel the need to be protective of me.
I expect the best from myself as well. Being human, I don't always meet my own expectations, let alone yours, so there will be times when you are likely to be disappointed, just as I am with myself. 
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As a Dominant, I must also treat you with the deference, the kindness, the respect that you deserve as a man who has come to know and understand his submissive nature. Behaving as a respectful Domina does not mean that I choose to be your Domme or that I attempt to throw assignments out to you here on the boards, for example. Being a Dominant, and attempting to be your Domme are two separate, distinct, if related, states of being.
My being a Dominant, and your being a submissive, means we must both respect each other, at all times...here on the boards or elsewhere. Whether I am your Domme, or whether you are My sub, or not.
Good luck to you in your submissive journey,
submit2one
This is the gist of what I was trying to convey in my original post. I thank you for the good wishes on my jouney and hope that yours are both pleasurable and exciting as well! 
- pixel
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RE: Dommes wanting too much respect - 
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