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RE: Dommes wanting too much respect - 10/29/2006 9:32:54 AM

Blueoneforu

Posts: 1
Joined: 10/16/2006
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I wish there were more Doms willing to be patient and train newbies.

(in reply to kc692)

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RE: Dommes wanting too much respect - 10/29/2006 9:43:05 AM

Morrigel

Posts: 492
Joined: 10/13/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I have also been trained to NOT be submissive to everyone who calls themselves dominant.

And yet, I have seen you show deference and courtesy to many male dominants on this board, even in disagreement; presumably you are not "owned" by any of them. Yet somehow, despite the fact that you do not wear his collar, you are able to behave in a non-aggressive, non-offensive manner toward a man whom you do not know--behavior which could DEFINITELY be termed "submissive" in comparison to the way male submissives post toward female dominants on this forum.

I have yet to see you or any female submissive post harsh and judgmental opinions about what male doms should look like, about how male doms should be obligated to fulfill your fantasies and expect nothing in return, or claiming that male doms need to be "slapped around" or "straightened out" (implied rape violence) so that they would behave more like "proper" men.

Nor have I seen any female subs on this forum starting threads about how male doms demand too much respect.

Funny that.

--M

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

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RE: Dommes wanting too much respect - 10/29/2006 9:58:02 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Morrigel

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I have also been trained to NOT be submissive to everyone who calls themselves dominant.

And yet, I have seen you show deference and courtesy to many male dominants on this board, even in disagreement; presumably you are not "owned" by any of them.

Courtesy, yes, to both male and females, however. Deference, no, not by my definition of deference (respect to a superior or elder). I do not consider anyone in this forum to be my superior. But yes, I do try to be courteous in my dealings with others. I think that's just being polite, though. Not submissive.

quote:

Yet somehow, despite the fact that you do not wear his collar, you are able to behave in a non-aggressive, non-offensive manner toward a man whom you do not know--behavior which could DEFINITELY be termed "submissive" in comparison to the way male submissives post toward female dominants on this forum.

Again, I simply consider it being polite, and not submissive, and again, I do not restrict my politeness to just men. However, I do wish to thank you for your kind words about how I come across. They are very much appreciated.

quote:

I have yet to see you or any female submissive post harsh and judgmental opinions about what male doms should look like, about how male doms should be obligated to fulfill your fantasies and expect nothing in return, or claiming that male doms need to be "slapped around" or "straightened out" (implied rape violence) so that they would behave more like "proper" men.

I have not engaged in such discussions, but I have indeed seen other female submissives discuss these things, and not so kindly either.

quote:

Nor have I seen any female subs on this forum starting threads about how male doms demand too much respect.

I don't believe I have seen that, either. And I do not agree with the OPs statements in the case of this thread, either. My contribution was only about a submissive behaving submissively to all. I have nothing to contribute to the OPs views here, but felt compelled to respond to other remarks.

< Message edited by ownedgirlie -- 10/29/2006 9:59:46 AM >

(in reply to Morrigel)

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Post #: 83

RE: Dommes wanting too much respect - 10/29/2006 10:23:06 AM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer

Why do you imagine that your sexual preference entitles you to special treatment from strangers? This is a serious question and I'd be interested in hearing answers from this viewpoint.

Basic courtesy and respect is an excellent quality in a submissive as well as a dominant, and I don't think it's a good idea for anyone to be rude or inconsiderate to others regardless of their orientation.

Jody Foster "You worked with Hannibal Lecter for 9 years, and in all that time you never had any problem with him, even after you broke his arm, why is that?"

Forrest Whittaker "Hannibal once told me the he only eats the rude. Free Range Rude he called them."

So I am sitting at my son's 8th grade graduation and some twits cell phone (Nextel) walkie talkie goes off, loud. He starts having a conversation.

I observe (rather loudly) that perhaps Hannibal Lecter had the right idea.

Half the people sitting near me cracked up.

The way I see it, it takes as much energy to be nasty (or much more, really) than it does to be nice and polite.

But that is just me and I could be wrong.

Sinergy

_____________________________

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"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to Najakcharmer)

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Post #: 84

RE: Dommes wanting too much respect - 10/29/2006 10:33:00 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: imtempting

Now I am seeing this more and more on these boards. Alot of dommes are wanting every sub male to pretty much just agree with them.

Anyone who does not agree with them gets vindicted and flamed.

The dominantes ( the males ) do actually behave and treat sub females with respect and respects their comments. Even if they do disagree.

Where I am noticing the dommes are expecting the male subs to pretty much keep in line and not piss them off.

Out of most of tje people ive been annoying has been dommes. I dont recall many male dominates abusing me.

So I think the females domme of these boards should get real and stop acting like stuck up idiots.

That is not directed at every domme as many are fine but many others are stuck up...

Now atleast poeple wont need to hijack other threads and can just flame me in here..

I have not noticed such things from the general population of dominant females on this board. There are a select few submissive who enjoy engaging in controversy and a select few dominants who do as well, but it seems to be a very small minority. Even so, when I see people incite, I most often see feedback which seems intended to help the poster of such remarks, rethink their own attitude so, perhaps, they could actually find a bit of what they are looking for on sites such as this one. It's unfortunate, but such almost always falls on deaf ears.

You state:

"So I think the females domme of these boards should get real and stop acting like stuck up idiots."

You then go on to say that it's not all of the female dominants and that many are fine which implies that you believe only 'some' are stuck up idiots. Well, if there are 'some' whom you believe are 'stuck up idiots', the onus for interaction is on you, not them. You have the choice here. You can block, ignore, or incite and flame or whatever else you desire to do. You control your reaction and are responsible and accountable for your own behavior as well as they are responsible and accountable for their own. The decisions which you make and the action you take is a reflection of you, not them.

If you are hungry for information, then putting forth topics based on that motivation will get you fed what you seek.

If you are hungry for controversy and insult, then put out topics with that motivation and you will also get fed what you seek.

The choice is yours.

Celeste

< Message edited by BitaTruble -- 10/29/2006 10:35:23 AM >

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He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

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RE: Dommes wanting too much respect - 10/29/2006 10:40:22 AM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer

Why do you imagine that your sexual preference entitles you to special treatment from strangers? This is a serious question and I'd be interested in hearing answers from this viewpoint.

Basic courtesy and respect is an excellent quality in a submissive as well as a dominant, and I don't think it's a good idea for anyone to be rude or inconsiderate to others regardless of their orientation.

Jody Foster "You worked with Hannibal Lecter for 9 years, and in all that time you never had any problem with him, even after you broke his arm, why is that?"

Forrest Whittaker "Hannibal once told me the he only eats the rude. Free Range Rude he called them."

So I am sitting at my son's 8th grade graduation and some twits cell phone (Nextel) walkie talkie goes off, loud. He starts having a conversation.

I observe (rather loudly) that perhaps Hannibal Lecter had the right idea.

Half the people sitting near me cracked up.

The way I see it, it takes as much energy to be nasty (or much more, really) than it does to be nice and polite.

But that is just me and I could be wrong.

Sinergy

No your not wrong...science has proven it does indeed take more energy to be mean,and infact it shortens your lifespan.
So that begs Me to question...why have all this hatred and anger if its actually hurting you more than it is them....
I personally want to live a long time...So I try to be nice and respectful...though I am only human and sometimes I slip and fall on My ass.

I honestly give respect until I have a reason not to.
Its like innocent until proven guilty.I have however from past hurts learned to keep a distance,until I am positive they are innocent.That kinda borders on trust issues and not a respect thing.

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to Sinergy)

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RE: Dommes wanting too much respect - 10/29/2006 12:51:54 PM

submit2one

Posts: 26
Joined: 7/3/2005
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SweetDommes,

You have taken great pains many times before to slam Me for My penchant for protocol and decorum, and to march about the boards waving your little faded denim banner in favor of a more relaxed and more casual lifestyle, BDSM or otherwise.

The respect that I enjoyed those many years ago was indeed earned, just as is the respect I still enjoy today among the few of Us who remain in contact.

I will not lower My standards because thou dost protest so much...and, more importantly, I will not stoop so low as to imply that you are a 'fraud' because you do not uphold My point of view.

Carry on, dear, carry on.

submit2one
formerly somethingorother

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes

quote:

ORIGINAL: submit2one

I am saddened for those who do not know, and who will never know, what it is to be treated with reverence by any and all submissives encountered at such functions. That was a grand feeling, and if it were not tied directly to My Dominant persona I probably would not have found it so intensely gratifying, but I did, and it was.

Personally, if every submissive that I came across treated me with 'reverence' and felt that they had to keep their eyes down around me simply because I'm a Dominant, then I would feel like a fraud. That level of respect should be earned. What I want is the simple, common (not-so-common it seems these days) courtesy that all people should give to another because we are all humans until/unless a person proves themselves to be a complete and total ass. I want my wishes to be respected - not because I'm a Domme, but because I respect other's wishes whenever I can, no matter if they are submissive, Dominant, switch, or vanilla. I want to not have some moron who claims to be a submissive send me inappropriate first messages with inappropriate pictures because I would never do that to someone else - nor would I accept such behavior in person ... I don't know of anyone who would, honestly. If someone came up to me on the street, or at a bar, or anywhere else and started spouting off his sexual fantasies ... or handed me a pic of his exposed genitals ... I can promise you that the nearest police officer would be contacted.

As far as I'm concerned, it comes down to the Golden Rule - treat others as you want to be treated. If you want to be treated with respect, then treat others with respect. However, I am also a firm believer in Karma, or more simply, what goes around comes around. If someone is an ass once, no big deal - we've all done that, even a few times isn't that big of a deal (but expect to get as good as you give when you do so), but if he/she proves to be an ass consistantly, then ... I'm going to treat them accordingly.

*edited for a few spelling errors*

(in reply to SweetDommes)

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RE: Dommes wanting too much respect - 10/29/2006 1:08:27 PM

submit2one

Posts: 26
Joined: 7/3/2005
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heh heh heh heh heh...Ohhhhhhhh yes...
.... and "Lordandmaster" is really original, too!

As for MY screen name, it changes every so often. I like to lurk about, change a profile from time to time, see who emails Me, see who responds to a post or two...

Since you haven't a clue who you're typing back to today, I'd say it works.

submit2one

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

"submit2one" isn't such a brilliant screen name that you can make fun of other people's.

quote:

ORIGINAL: submit2one

Najak-not-very-charming-at-all

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

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Post #: 88

RE: Dommes wanting too much respect - 10/29/2006 1:23:22 PM

rick19

Posts: 98
Status: offline

Yeah, but most of the male subs on here act very dumb and downright rude with their "u r so hot, mistress, lets hav sex i have no limitz!!!1!!" comments. Can you really blame them for having no respect for males?

(in reply to Silvermoon)

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RE: Dommes wanting too much respect - 10/29/2006 1:54:53 PM

gooddogbenji

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66

How about just respecting people for being person not whether they are a Dom or a submissive.

Why is it everyone has to earn respect...what is so hard about giving a lil respect to get some back....

Like I said earlier, the definitions I looked up all had deference, admiration and such things in them. I am neither deferential, nor do I have a high opinion of someone simply for being a person. If I had a high opinion of everyone, it wouldn't be very high, now would it?

And simply because I respect someone does not mean that they should respect me, nor vice versa. It aint a Christmas Card List, ya know what I'm sayin?

Yours,

benji

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(in reply to MistressSassy66)

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RE: Dommes wanting too much respect - 10/29/2006 1:59:50 PM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
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Yes I want respect, the same amount that I give him because he is another living human being.

I've seen plenty of male Dom's demanding more than their share of respect from fem subs that they've never even met, so I think that goes both ways..

The most annoying people to me are the ones who assume all Domme's are alike, or who hate Dominant women in general, or who believe the stereotypes.

I think some of the people on these boards should stop judging other people particulary when they have no idea what they are talking about. But they jump on the bandwagon to have something to talk about.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

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RE: Dommes wanting too much respect - 10/29/2006 2:00:17 PM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: submit2one

heh heh heh heh heh...Ohhhhhhhh yes...
.... and "Lordandmaster" is really original, too!

As for MY screen name, it changes every so often. I like to lurk about, change a profile from time to time, see who emails Me, see who responds to a post or two...

Since you haven't a clue who you're typing back to today, I'd say it works.

submit2one

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

"submit2one" isn't such a brilliant screen name that you can make fun of other people's.

quote:

ORIGINAL: submit2one

Najak-not-very-charming-at-all

Do the words "sneaky"or "bitch" convey anything to you, submit2one?

candystripper

(in reply to submit2one)

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RE: Dommes wanting too much respect - 10/29/2006 2:03:59 PM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
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lololol Yes'm they do.
Guilty as charged!

TexasMaam

< Message edited by TexasMaam -- 10/29/2006 2:05:35 PM >

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RE: Dommes wanting too much respect - 10/29/2006 2:05:39 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
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Why am I not surprised...

(in reply to TexasMaam)

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RE: Dommes wanting too much respect - 10/29/2006 2:06:39 PM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
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awww, LAM, you know you missed Me.

TM

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RE: Dommes wanting too much respect - 10/29/2006 2:07:57 PM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
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hey LAM, I had a LOT of fun creeping about the back stairs as a subbie on here!
TM

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RE: Dommes wanting too much respect - 10/29/2006 2:32:16 PM

kc692

Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
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Lam, good to see the elephants back, and TexasMaam, good to see you back too........

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This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

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RE: Dommes wanting too much respect - 10/29/2006 2:38:15 PM

LordODiscipline

Posts: 995
Joined: 6/28/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: imtempting

The dominantes ( the males ) do actually behave and treat sub females with respect and respects their comments. Even if they do disagree.

Where I am noticing the dommes are expecting the male subs to pretty much keep in line and not piss them off.

Out of most of tje people ive been annoying has been dommes. I dont recall many male dominates abusing me.

Obviously, you have never seen me post.

I treat people with the respect that (I believe) they deserve based on their posting and responses... it has nothing to do with demeanor and/or sex and/or shoe size.

And - I know some female dominants out here who do not treat people like poop...

So you are pretty much making blanket statements and covering a lot of undeserving people with the same poop colored paint...

Not an overly bright thing to do...

And, if you give me the opportunity, I shall disabuse you of this whole gender notion of abusing through posts.

~J

_____________________________

"Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential."
William Thomas

(in reply to imtempting)

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RE: Dommes wanting too much respect - 10/29/2006 2:51:28 PM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
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Thank you Dear Lady! Thank you very much.
The feeling is Mutual!
TexasMaam

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RE: Dommes wanting too much respect - 10/29/2006 4:58:32 PM

Morrigel

Posts: 492
Joined: 10/13/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
Courtesy, yes, to both male and females, however. Deference, no, not by my definition of deference (respect to a superior or elder). I do not consider anyone in this forum to be my superior. But yes, I do try to be courteous in my dealings with others. I think that's just being polite, though. Not submissive.

Since you do not seem to understand what I mean, let me provide you with an example of one of your own posts. This was after a disagreement with a male dominant who was not your master. Thread can be seen here:

http://www.collarchat.com/m_653822/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm

But I will excerpt the most notable reply you gave during the exchange.

quote:

LaM, I sincerely appreciate your replies. I guess I have a simple mind, and like to keep things simple. To me, the dictionary provides the basic foundation of what a word means and leaves the rest up to us.

Example: I'm putting lawn in my yard. When I say that, you (collectively) have a picture in your mind of what I'm talking about. Everyone tends to know what a lawn is. From there, conversation can ensue - Am I laying sod? Planting seeds? What kind of lawn (my poor Dad experimented with Dichondra once - what a disaster)? Where in the yard - front, back, side strip? As you can see, there are so many variations from there. The word "lawn" gives us a foundation from which to work. Conversation allows the details and personalizes it.

I can see we are coming at this from two different angles, and do not see it the same way. But I do appreciate your replies, as I was a little thrown by your words on the subject in both this thread and the other. Thank you for sharing your point of view in a...um...less critical way

PS: Thank you for the Landau reference :)

I am sorry, dear, but from my point of view this is deference, especially when compared to the way male submissives tend to approach disagreement with dominant women on these forums. Just look at the way you speak, the words you use, the way you deflect blame and defuse future hostilities:

"I sincerely appreciate your replies"
"I have a simple mind, and like to keep thing simple"
"I can see we are coming at this from two different angles"
and
"Thank you for sharing your point of view"

I'm sorry to use you as an example, since you have not asked to be held up as some kind of paragon. I am simply pointing out that it is more than possible for a submissive to remain respectful when speaking to dominants of either sex without being abject, worshipful, or any of the other nonsense that some male subs claim that female dominants demand.

It is not a binary choice between being a rude, ugly, hostile little brute or being an abject jellyfish doormat.

There is a middle road, and most female submissives walk it quite well--perhaps because more of them actually have the strength of character to accept their own desires and their chosen role in life without having to heap abuse and resentment on those who fulfill their needs.

Or perhaps they simply have the benefit of having centuries' worth of role models from virtually every culture on earth, while men can only look to a very few examples that are in the distant past--ancient Greece and Rome, the age of chivalry, etc.

--M

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

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