Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: How important is a picture, or appearance


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: How important is a picture, or appearance Page: <<   < prev  2 3 4 [5] 6   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: How important is a picture, or appearance - 11/2/2006 11:50:04 PM   
AbstractSavant


Posts: 149
Joined: 6/5/2005
Status: offline 		I won't lie, attraction is a huge part of it for me, and it's easy to dismiss someone I'm not instantly attracted to. But sometimes something can develop because of an emotional attraction. 

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: How important is a picture, or appearance - 11/3/2006 12:08:02 AM   
subjected2006


Posts: 248
Joined: 1/20/2006
Status: offline 		not a thing hon,I am Atheist 

_____________________________

a rose is a rose..

(in reply to Mikal)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: How important is a picture, or appearance - 11/3/2006 1:53:53 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		greetings
 
as an artist a picture says so much but the real person say even more. i can look into their  eyes and see so much trust, truth, and willing male this is more then anything that i see and when i see this and  it is at the very first meeting then i feel i can trust them there is something about reciving many photos but it better when i can feel the warm of their face and hands so it is not important to me
 
mons

(in reply to slaveaurora)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: How important is a picture, or appearance - 11/3/2006 3:45:04 AM   
sharainks


Posts: 499
Joined: 12/13/2004
Status: offline 		Creative Dominant,

Soon after my divorce I met a man online and went to the lets have a coffee stage.  He looked so much like my ex that I just couldn't wrap my mind around it.  I think maybe appearance would have had me attribute things to him that weren't his.  At any rate I just couldn't do it. 

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: How important is a picture, or appearance - 11/3/2006 4:46:10 AM   
NYMaster101


Posts: 107
Joined: 7/11/2005
Status: offline
I have never put what one looks like at the top of my criteria list.

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: How important is a picture, or appearance - 11/3/2006 5:00:49 AM   
enigmaslave


Posts: 146
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline 		Wow, this is an awsome discusion. Many excellant points have been made.

_____________________________

my appreciation to A/all who have read my opinion.
enigmaslave

slrn 000145067

(in reply to NYMaster101)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: How important is a picture, or appearance - 11/3/2006 8:25:24 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mikal

For me, looks matter to a point - a person has to have decent hygiene & grooming habits. Other than that, it depends on the inner person. Oh, and absolutely no smoking (for more than friends).
Does anyone else have a deal breaker for attractive & intelligent person becoming a lover/playmate/whatever? C'mon.... I can't be the only one!!!


Mikal, I hope you don't mind that I edited out the middle stuff to show what I agreed with.

Smoking is a HUGE no-way for me. The smell makes me nauseous. Not exactly a turn-on. Mix it with beer breath and I am running, add smelly BO and I will prolly tell them to "fuck off and die" Obviously personal hygiene is a big one for me. I also get grossed out by bad teeth. I am very scent oriented so alot of perfumes really will make me back off, especially the heavy musky or girly fruity candy ones.

I love to see a photo, don't need to see a full body shot, don't want to see nekeditity. Just a nice clear smiling face is wonderful.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Mikal)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: How important is a picture, or appearance - 11/3/2006 9:02:21 AM   
Chatt22nooga


Posts: 44
Joined: 9/25/2006
Status: offline 		FOR THE MOST PART YOU ARE TELLING IT LIKE IT REALLY IS.....

(in reply to imtempting)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: How important is a picture, or appearance - 11/3/2006 11:03:10 AM   
pixelslave


Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
I have met some really attractive people that get ugly as soon as they start talking and I have met some not so attractive people that become more and more beautiful the better I get to know them.

Attraction is just much too intangible to be determined by a photograph.


I have to agree with you 100%.  I have on numerous occasions met women who were physically very attractive to me, that is until they began to speak!   What they had to say, or perhaps more accurately didn't have within them to say, quickly showed me what they didn't possess on the inside, which no longer made them attractive to me.  I have also met women who at first glance I barely noticed.  After a smile and time spent talking with them, they became increasingly attractive to me.  It wasn't long that my attraction grew to the point that I found them so incredibly beautiful that they became the only women of interest to me!  What's on the inside can shine through to the outside to the point that its all that I see.  I can honestly say that I never felt as though I'd "settled" and was truly fortunate to have spent time with those women in my life.  I would genuinely be poorer for the loss of their having been in my life.

So I guess you could say that for me its much more than about looks.  Its largely about what's on the inside and I guess there must be some kind of chemistry.  The latter is what I'd call mental as well as emotional, as opposed to being something like pheremones.   

_____________________________

Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: How important is a picture, or appearance - 11/3/2006 11:31:46 AM   
emdoub


Posts: 223
Joined: 10/22/2006
From: Minnenipples, Minnesnowta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveaurora

Does their appearance, or pic, make it or break it for you?


Sometimes. 

There are, for me, 3 general levels of physical attractiveness - someone is either eyecandy, acceptable, or oh-no-please. 

It's never going to be the most important part of my decision-making process, but someone would have to be nearly perfect in every other way to overcome an oh-no-please attractiveness level.

Sure, I'm shallow.  That's probably a deal-breaker for others.

On the other hand, there are personality traits that are decided dealbreakers, and there's no way that a high degree of eyecandy is going to overcome one of those.

There are hundreds of factors, and they all go into the mix.

Midnight Writer

_____________________________

Benevolent Dictator of TIES - Tremendously Intense Erotic Situations. If you're local to Mpls-St.Paul, MN, you may want to check us out. The web site is at http://www.ties-bdsm.org and the Munches are monthly.

(in reply to slaveaurora)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: How important is a picture, or appearance - 11/3/2006 12:00:23 PM   
pixelslave


Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mikal
For me, looks matter to a point - a person has to have decent hygiene & grooming habits. Other than that, it depends on the inner person. Oh, and absolutely no smoking (for more than friends).

 
Even with friends, as a non-smoker, I find it difficult to be around those who choose to smoke. 
 
I see a that a number of people have made comments about "bad teeth".  I'm not certain if they mean those who don't see a dentist to have have theirs taken care of, or if they mean people who have don't have bright white teeth.  
 
As an infant, I was given tetracyclene drops before doctors learned it would permanently discolor your teeth and cause them to be a bit yellow the rest of your life, so I'm somewhat sensitive to that.  I also have a dry mouth which promotes dental decay and have a number of crowns as a result.  I make a point to see my dentist regularly to take care of my teeth.  So I don't know if that puts me in the category of one of those with "bad teeth" or not.  
 
 
quote:
Mind you, I have a difficult time with exceptionally beautiful people... true or not, they give me the impression of high maintanance... *shrugs*... just the way it is.

 
I once dated a woman who would never let me see her without her eye make-up.  I don't know if that was what you'd call vanity or high maintenance.
 
 
quote:


If attitude/personality/etc. didn't matter, I'd have a doll or cut-out of my dream girl and be content with that.  

 
LOL!
 
 
quote:
The other BIG turn off for me, even after chatting and exchanging pics, is smell. If a person has an offensive smell to them, I don't care how pretty and/or intelligent they are. The relationship will NEVER get physical (hence, the no smoking criteria).
 
Does anyone else have a deal breaker for attractive & intelligent person becoming a lover/playmate/whatever? C'mon.... I can't be the only one!!!

 
Aside from wanting a non-smoker, I tend to be allergic to a lot of perfumes, so a woman that insists on wearing heavy perfumes might be a problem for me to be around.  I also couldn't be with someone who used recreational drugs or regularly drank alcohol.  I'd want them to be able to experience being with "me" sober, not only when on a high.

I'm not certain what smells you'd find offensive.  Each person tends to have their own scent.  If I'm attracted to a woman, I tend to be attracted to her natural scent as well.  Perhaps that part of being submissive in that I'll naturally crave it. 

I know that when camping in the back-country I don't always have the luxury of showering as often as I might like, although I'll heat water and take a sponge bath usually every night.  When with a woman that I care for, even with us taking sponge baths, her natural scent tends to get rather intense.  I find that this gets me even more aroused and desirous of her, and isn't any form of a turn-off.  Ditto when sweating after a work-out or a long hike, so I guess its just a matter of personal tastes.

Like many, I am sensitive to smells and appreciate what they can tell me.  Both my mind and my body definitely respond to them.

_____________________________

Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to Mikal)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: How important is a picture, or appearance - 11/3/2006 12:02:09 PM   
Mikal


Posts: 3673
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subjected2006
not a thing hon,I am Atheist 


Gotcha!

_____________________________

You know that I am a sexy penguin.

(in reply to subjected2006)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: How important is a picture, or appearance - 11/3/2006 5:35:11 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sharainks

Creative Dominant,

Soon after my divorce I met a man online and went to the lets have a coffee stage.  He looked so much like my ex that I just couldn't wrap my mind around it.  I think maybe appearance would have had me attribute things to him that weren't his.  At any rate I just couldn't do it. 


Interesting...I don't want to hijack the thread which started out dealing with a picture of someone but my own post related to the fact that someone thought I looked too much like her ex and so was no longer interested in even friendship.  Now, you mention that you met someone in question and his similarity in appearance to your ex threw you off.  Perhaps a thread related to similarities in appearance between ex's (or other bad people in our lives) and people we meet now and whether or not that similarity has an effect on how we deal with them?

(in reply to sharainks)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: How important is a picture, or appearance - 11/3/2006 5:54:19 PM   
Andysub1979


Posts: 8
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		As a Brit, I'm always going to be labled with a generic 'bad teeth' stigma. Unfortunatley, due (in part) to being a smoker, the stigma is correct! However, I am not aware that this in itself has put anyone off - normally it's my slightly strange personality that either draws people or repels them, and I am happy with this.

However, unfortunatley I am shallow enough to be dominated by superficiallities (?). I am currently chatting to a Domme on a regular basis, and I like everything she is saying. But, although she is a pretty girl, I am worried about my reaction, as she is a BBW - about 210 lb's in a 5 foot 4 frame (I even translated for the American readers!) Having never been particularly interested in larger women before, I wonder if, for the benifit of her own self esteem I should break things off now, rather than risk hurting her feelings in the long run. And I ask this as a person, rather than a sub!

Does this level of shallowness make me a bad person? HELP!!

(in reply to pixelslave)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: How important is a picture, or appearance - 11/3/2006 6:02:32 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Morrigel

bad religion.



Bad Religion is one of my favorite bands.

Time Bomb...

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to Morrigel)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: How important is a picture, or appearance - 11/3/2006 6:09:36 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Andysub1979

As a Brit, I'm always going to be labled with a generic 'bad teeth' stigma. Unfortunatley, due (in part) to being a smoker, the stigma is correct! However, I am not aware that this in itself has put anyone off - normally it's my slightly strange personality that either draws people or repels them, and I am happy with this.

However, unfortunatley I am shallow enough to be dominated by superficiallities (?). I am currently chatting to a Domme on a regular basis, and I like everything she is saying. But, although she is a pretty girl, I am worried about my reaction, as she is a BBW - about 210 lb's in a 5 foot 4 frame (I even translated for the American readers!) Having never been particularly interested in larger women before, I wonder if, for the benifit of her own self esteem I should break things off now, rather than risk hurting her feelings in the long run. And I ask this as a person, rather than a sub!

Does this level of shallowness make me a bad person? HELP!!
IMO this does not make you a bad person however it may cause you to miss out on many possibilities, many wonderful people,.I mean you say she is a pretty woman, and you like what she has to say, I am thinking that is a pretty good start,do you not think that cutting it off because of BBW may also cause you to lose out on the best person to maybe happen to you?....Tempting

(in reply to Andysub1979)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: How important is a picture, or appearance - 11/3/2006 6:16:08 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub
I have to agree with Akisha...I have rather average looks so do not like to judge on looks, a case of the ol "judge not, lest ye be judged" thing.....Sincerely Shrek...errr ummm.....Tempting....

Except I encourage people to make judgements of me...and I certainly do of them.  Isn't that what mature and intelligent adults do- make (hopefully good) judgements?  Isn't that the privilege of finally being "adult"?
This is certainly another excellent way of looking at it, however some adults are neither mature nor intelligient.Adults will always make judgements of any and all that we meet, sometimes though the rush to make judgement finds you making frequent errors in judgement.If you go in with everyone you meet with a modicum of open mindedness one may find that many times you would of done them and yourself a disservice. The privelages of being "adult"...lol..well that has got to be another story altogether!...grin....Tempting

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: How important is a picture, or appearance - 11/3/2006 6:17:16 PM   
Andysub1979


Posts: 8
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		Hi Tempting

I realise that this may lead me to miss that special someone, but having spoken to her she has been hurt in the past because people have found her to be - well, slightly more than they thought she would be. I am the sort of analytical / caring / sad (read looser) person that thinks of other peoples reactions before themselves - ie the perfect sub !

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: How important is a picture, or appearance - 11/3/2006 7:11:17 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Hi Andy

Well i can certainly understand you dilemma..however, if an attraction has already been experienced by you, you may find that the BBW portion is not as much of a problem as you once thought..IMO if my interest has been captured,and I find many things admirable about that person,and the communication is running rampant,and the ideas and thoughts are flowing..then to me the appearance thing has now become a non-issue...best wishes...Tempting

(in reply to Andysub1979)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: How important is a picture, or appearance - 11/3/2006 9:52:15 PM   
pixelslave


Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Andysub1979
However, unfortunatley I am shallow enough to be dominated by superficiallities (?). I am currently chatting to a Domme on a regular basis, and I like everything she is saying. But, although she is a pretty girl, I am worried about my reaction, as she is a BBW - about 210 lb's in a 5 foot 4 frame (I even translated for the American readers!) Having never been particularly interested in larger women before, I wonder if, for the benifit of her own self esteem I should break things off now, rather than risk hurting her feelings in the long run. And I ask this as a person, rather than a sub!

Does this level of shallowness make me a bad person? HELP!!


First, I'd like to say that your reasons for possibly breaking things off don't sound as being shallow to me, only as being concened that your possible reaction to her might cause her to feel hurt.  That being said, what is it about your possible reaction that you fear?  You've said that you think she's a "pretty girl" and that you like what she's saying.  You also mentioned in another post that you might miss meeting "that special woman."  For those reasons, I'm having difficulty understanding why you seem so resistant on following through with meeting her.

If you really are the "perfect sub" that you say, why should her weight matter to you?  If anything, it almost sounds as though you may be afraid of letting yourself get close to a woman who could teach you about making a real connection that is something more than just physical.  Breaking things off now will likely hurt her just the same if you've been chatting with her as much as you've implied.  Instead, I suggest you face your fears.  Be a man and an honest, sincere sub.  Let yourself meet this woman and see what develops.  Perhaps you'll find that the beauty you see inside will make everything else you fear immediately begin to seem silly and of no importance.  If that doesn't happen, then you'll need to be honest with yourself and with her.  In any case, you have nothing to lose and will only learn about yourself and life in general.  If you don't like what you learn, then its up to you to decide what you want to change.  In which case I respectfully suggest you begin by looking within.

- pixel

< Message edited by pixelslave -- 11/3/2006 9:59:22 PM >

_____________________________

Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to Andysub1979)
Profile   Post #: 100
Page:   <<   < prev  2 3 4 [5] 6   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: How important is a picture, or appearance Page: <<   < prev  2 3 4 [5] 6   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094