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RE: How important is a picture, or appearance - 11/3/2006 9:59:49 PM

hsagnev

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Andysub1979

As a Brit, I'm always going to be labled with a generic 'bad teeth' stigma. Unfortunatley, due (in part) to being a smoker, the stigma is correct! However, I am not aware that this in itself has put anyone off - normally it's my slightly strange personality that either draws people or repels them, and I am happy with this.

However, unfortunatley I am shallow enough to be dominated by superficiallities (?). I am currently chatting to a Domme on a regular basis, and I like everything she is saying. But, although she is a pretty girl, I am worried about my reaction, as she is a BBW - about 210 lb's in a 5 foot 4 frame (I even translated for the American readers!) Having never been particularly interested in larger women before, I wonder if, for the benifit of her own self esteem I should break things off now, rather than risk hurting her feelings in the long run. And I ask this as a person, rather than a sub!

Does this level of shallowness make me a bad person? HELP!!

So how many stones would 210 pounds be exactly?

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RE: How important is a picture, or appearance - 11/6/2006 1:49:51 PM

Andysub1979

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15 - give or take

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RE: How important is a picture, or appearance - 11/6/2006 2:21:54 PM

HalloweenWhite

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Pictures, people's appearance is much more important than most will admit.

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RE: How important is a picture, or appearance - 11/6/2006 2:25:15 PM

HalloweenWhite

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I agree with you.

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RE: How important is a picture, or appearance - 11/6/2006 2:27:07 PM

HalloweenWhite

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If Satan looked like Mr. Clooney he would have PLENTY of fans. Don't kid yourself.

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RE: How important is a picture, or appearance - 11/6/2006 2:48:12 PM

WetHotGoddess

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To me, personality is everything, but when it comes to sexuality and being able to click in that way, they have to have "it"- which does not have to be a certain look. However, I am not attracted sexually to those who neglect their hygeine or who let their weight get out of control.

On the other hand, I can tell you that from experience, PICTURES are EVERYTHING to a lot of men... (if you can call them that) They want to TAKE them and LOOK at them.. more than anything. They live their lives in the fog of the unreal fantasy world- and they prefer to dream of those pretty little pictures, living a little pathetic fantasy in their heads, than have anything real with a real woman. Good for them, cuz ALL real women are too fucking good for those wankers. Have fun wanking to pictures, boys, cause we real women will be out fucking real dick and wrapping our bodies around the love of those who appreciate us for who we are- whether we are their perfect-looking fantasy or not!

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveaurora

This came up in conversation the other day, and I thought I would put it here just to see what everyone thinks.

How many times have you talked to someone here on collarme who does not have a picture up and you find that you like them, have things in common etc., then when you see a pic of them and they are not beautiful in your eyes, does that change your perception of them? Do you stop chatting with them?

On the flip side, have you ever contacted someone based on their picture, because you found them attractive, only to find out they are nothing like you hoped?

Does their appearance, or pic, make it or break it for you?

~aurora~

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RE: How important is a picture, or appearance - 11/6/2006 3:35:07 PM

LadyJulieAnn

Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Andysub1979

As a Brit, I'm always going to be labled with a generic 'bad teeth' stigma. Unfortunatley, due (in part) to being a smoker, the stigma is correct! However, I am not aware that this in itself has put anyone off - normally it's my slightly strange personality that either draws people or repels them, and I am happy with this.

However, unfortunatley I am shallow enough to be dominated by superficiallities (?). I am currently chatting to a Domme on a regular basis, and I like everything she is saying. But, although she is a pretty girl, I am worried about my reaction, as she is a BBW - about 210 lb's in a 5 foot 4 frame (I even translated for the American readers!) Having never been particularly interested in larger women before, I wonder if, for the benifit of her own self esteem I should break things off now, rather than risk hurting her feelings in the long run. And I ask this as a person, rather than a sub!

Does this level of shallowness make me a bad person? HELP!!

I was first going to ask you how you knew she would have low self-esteem, but in a later posting you said she had stated that she was hurt by others. If you are interested in an eventual long-term relationship with someone but have no physical attraction to her, I would encourage you to break it off now rather than later after more attachments are formed. You sound like a nice guy who is genuinely concerned about her feelings, but chatting to her for her words only appears to be leading her on a bit.

I think if she has it in her mind that she might be hurt again, there really isn't anything you can do to stop the way she will feel, but you can break it to her gently and respectfully that you don't feel that you have the compatibility that you seek in a relationship. In the long run it would be more beneficial for everyone involved.

Best of luck,
Julie

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RE: How important is a picture, or appearance - 11/6/2006 3:52:55 PM

Morrigel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HalloweenWhite

If Satan looked like Mr. Clooney he would have PLENTY of fans. Don't kid yourself.

I thought Mr. Clooney WAS Satan.

--M

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RE: How important is a picture, or appearance - 11/6/2006 4:31:32 PM

aleshaDreams

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The cold hard truth of my reality is it takes a combination of both mental attraction and physical attraction. To some it will be portrayed as shallowness but it is what works for me. And in my personal opinion the vast majority of people out there whether they admit it or not.

I don't post my picture on any site anymore because I become overwhelmed with the responses and immediate attraction regardless of the contents of my written profile. This definately keeps the responses to a manageable number.

I do have a preference for men that look after themselves, perhaps slightly overweight but manageable and not unrealistic to think they could get into shape with a relatively short period of time. Why I do this? Well first off, I don't have a clue how a man that does not have the time and or energy to look after himself can possibly have the time and /or energy to look after me. Secondly, I have noticed character/physical traits around obese men that i find undesireable and sexually very unattractive. And because I do have the choice to pick and chose, well this is one I chose not.

Mentally I like to be challenged so the brain and its thought process is very important as well. I do not care how good looking a man is, if he can not think outside the box and can not evolve his own perspective and is ego driven, he is undesireable.

It really comes to the compatibility between the mental and physical aspects that I look for in a partner, and there are the extremes that will eliminate themselves from prospect. What is on the inside does count, but I seek the whole package and will not comprimise one over other. Been there done that the end result dissatisfaction. I am not perfect to all, but will be perfect to One; and that is all I can hope for. If not well such is life, but I am not about to settle because my dark desires ache to be discovered.

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RE: How important is a picture, or appearance - 11/6/2006 4:47:16 PM

Dnomyar

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alesha. there was another post on here where the woman was Mensa, college educated and very attractive. She was whineing because she was dumped. It seems that most of the shallow people on here end up whineing about being hurt. If you cant see past a persons outward apperance and get to know whats inside then you get what you deserve.

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RE: How important is a picture, or appearance - 11/6/2006 4:53:46 PM

aleshaDreams

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Dnomyar, you do what works for you ............. i do what works for me. Ditto. And getting what i deserve? This has nothing to do with getting what i deserve *wonders off wondering why in the world people feel they deserve anything in life - you get what you work for, it is earned through the time and energy expended*

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RE: How important is a picture, or appearance - 11/6/2006 5:18:54 PM

gooddogbenji

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Didn't read the thread, because, honestly, I don't give a rats ass about anyone else anyway.

The way I see it, someone has to be attractive to me. I could not imagine being with someone whom I did not find cute, sexy, hot, babelicious, and fuckable, preferably all simultaneously. That does not mean she has to look like a model with gazongas the size of watermelons and a stomach you could bounce a quarter off of, it just means I have to find her attractive. I don't care what anyone else thinks, I have to get turned on by looking at her.

Yours,

benji

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RE: How important is a picture, or appearance - 11/6/2006 5:24:09 PM

slaveaurora

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~fast reply~

I think the bottom line here is, that everyone has certain criteria when it comes to a partner. And let us make the distinction between "partner" and "friends".    When it comes to friends, I don't believe looks really play a part, because you're not looking to be sexually attracted to them.   You only need to have things in common, and like each other, or in some cases love each other, as "friends".

On the other hand, when it comes to finding a "partner", it is important to have that sexual attraction, and as I already said, everyone has certain criteria they look for.    It can range from looks, to intellectual stability, to good hygene, it can be none of those, all of those (and more), or one or two of those.
We have to find someone that makes us click on more than one level, someone that is compatible, that stimulates us, that makes us feel good, mentally, emotionally and sexually.

There is a lot that comes into play when searching for a partner, and yes I do think looks are one of them.    We all have different tastes, and what it attractive to me, may not be to another.

I have to like what is on the inside, and to me that is more important, because looks change, and if you don't have that deeper connection, you have nothing.

~aurora~

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