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Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 3:57:42 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I was just sitting here thinking about a thread in the Mistress section called "Presenting a Challenge". One poster wrote a comment regarding several choices, none of which was acceptable to several. We were told we were avoiding the question.

The truth was that, no, we would choose to be alone rather than settle for any of the choices provided.

My question is this. Are we the majority or the minority? I have strong feelings on this and will share later, just curious about other's responses.


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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 3:59:45 PM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline 		In the field of communication theory, it is argued that we can't exist alone. But then, I've been alone for quite some time now, so I don't know.

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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 4:06:55 PM   
aurora31


Posts: 266
Joined: 8/18/2005
Status: offline 		I have said it many times before but I am finally at a point in my life where I would rather be alone then with the wrong person/s. And I am very happy. I have many good friends and family who are standing by my side and supporting me. I have also come to accept that I may always be alone. While this saddens me it does not make me unhappy.

aurora

< Message edited by aurora31 -- 11/6/2006 4:07:18 PM >

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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 4:10:50 PM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		I would much rather be content alone than miserable with the wrong person. At this point, I'm content alone. I have no intention of adding someone to my life unless they will help me either stay content or deepen my happiness and joy.

It feels slightly unsubmissive to say that though.

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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 4:14:08 PM   
wetsub000


Posts: 91
Joined: 3/6/2005
Status: offline 		My quick response is yes, I'm quite comfortable with myself, so being alone is quite pleasant mostly.  I am assuming you mean 'unattached', rather than exisiting in solitary confinement though.  Not sure I would handle that so easily.

To quote my Dom friend 'You can make me happier, but you can't make me happy' and I must say the feeling is mutual.  My happiness does not depend on others, it's within myself.

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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 4:15:32 PM   
nikaa


Posts: 357
Joined: 10/13/2004
Status: offline 		I dont rely on others for my happiness,however;I would not stay in a relationship that made me miserable. Nor would I stay in a relationship where my needs where not being meet or where I could not meet my partners needs.
 
 


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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 4:17:07 PM   
CerebralDomHfx


Posts: 7
Joined: 10/7/2006
From: Halifax
Status: offline 		I've always been one who is happier alone than in the wrong relationship. I ended a 5 year live-in situation a few years ago because it just wasn't right for us. At the time, she didn't see this, but now that the dust has settled, she is able to see my reasoning, and agrees with me. It wasn't easy, but the feeling of release when it was over was tremendous.

I have very high standards for myself, and for anyone who wants to share my life. I will wait and keep searching until I can find someone that comes close to what I'm looking for.

Most of my friends have settled, and they lost a bit of their luster. A small minorty didn't and kept looking until they found just want the needed, and these people are extremely happy.

It's tougher to be alone though - and I do miss having someone at home, but I'm far from lonely - There's lots of cute vanilla girls to keep me occupied, but obviously something inside drives me to spend hours searching on sites like this one for that gem in a desert of sand.

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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 4:17:15 PM   
orfunboi


Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		i have been single for almost 3 years now and i am very happy.

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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 4:22:15 PM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline 		I think what is being assumed is that the expectation of being alone is short term. For those who have been "alone" for a decade or so, is that comfortability just as high? One can get used to being alone, but it wouldn't surprise me to discover that the same person would also be thinking inside that it would sure be nice to not be alone.

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<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me


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The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 4:24:10 PM   
eroticangel


Posts: 272
Joined: 2/13/2006
Status: offline 		I think i can be very happy alone, i like me, i like my kids....but, there are sometimes when i am lonely. Nothing equlas to sharing your life with another...whether it be scening at home or walking in the mall. So, even though i am happy and content being alone, i don't like lonely and would rather have someone to share life with.

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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 4:24:34 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I have not lived with a man since my teen unmentionable was a baby. I have had boyfriends, some for up to three years at a time, but I did not make that leap to live with anyone because my first responsibility was to my son. I did not meet anyone that I wanted to commit to in the form of a marriage. I have waited a long time for the right person to come along

The answer is this, after all these years I know I can be a happy person alone. I have done it for a long time. I would never settle for less than my needs being met. I am hopeful about my present situation leading to a lifelong commitment, but that is because it seems as though neither of us would have to compromise the core of ourselves to suit the other.. we would not have to "settle".

Im glad I have waited for the right situation instead of being married and divorced repeatedly, which was an option I refused to take.

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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 4:26:05 PM   
orfunboi


Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

I think what is being assumed is that the expectation of being alone is short term. For those who have been "alone" for a decade or so, is that comfortability just as high? One can get used to being alone, but it wouldn't surprise me to discover that the same person would also be thinking inside that it would sure be nice to not be alone.


Can't speak for anyone else, but no i don't think inside it would be nice not to be alone. i am very happy with my relationships that i have and very happy with where my life is. Maybe in a year or two, i will change my mind, but not in the near future. i'm having to much fun being single.

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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 4:27:05 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		I actually do the 'solitary confinement' thing pretty well.  If I'm not going to be in a relationship, the last thing I want to do is have others clutter up the time I have.

Jeff

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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 4:34:38 PM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		The thing is that you are never really alone. If your not a shut-in then your always interacting with other people. Some people are content without having to committing to a relationship.

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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 4:35:53 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		~ quick reply ~

I would rather be alone than in an unsatisfactory or dysfunctional relationship.  I can't deal with that sort of stress, there is enough other stress in my life.  I want a relationship to be a peaceful place.  I'm not dreaming here, relationships can be work and sometimes difficult, but a good one can also be peaceful.  I've been guarded about who I allow into my life, because of my kids and there are days when the idea of a lifetime comittment scares the hell out of me.  Mainly from a family-merging and finances-merging standpoint.  In all of the time I've been single (almost 10 years), I've never been confronted with having to make that choice.  If/when it happens, it's going to be difficult for me because I am so used to being on my own.  Yet, I don't want to be alone, for the longterm forever.  I'm conflicted, did that help?  


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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 4:38:41 PM   
Kalira


Posts: 954
Joined: 10/9/2006
From: Fort Wayne Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I was just sitting here thinking about a thread in the Mistress section called "Presenting a Challenge". One poster wrote a comment regarding several choices, none of which was acceptable to several. We were told we were avoiding the question.

The truth was that, no, we would choose to be alone rather than settle for any of the choices provided.

My question is this. Are we the majority or the minority? I have strong feelings on this and will share later, just curious about other's responses.


Hmm, the majority or the minority? I don't think it's fair to place anyone who chooses to settle for nothing less that exactly what they want; into either category.

Sometimes we compromise; sometimes we don't, sometimes we settle for less, sometimes we settle for nothing less that the best

I waited 8 years for the simple reason that I refused to settle. Granted in that time I was not 'alone"; I had my youngin here; but still, I would not place myself in a majority or a minority.



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We are more easily led part by part to an understanding of the whole.
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Damnant Quod Non Intellegunt

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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 5:12:06 PM   
aleshaDreams


Posts: 184
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		Being alone is not the easiest place to be for me, but like others i would rather be alone than in an unstable and/or abusive relationship.  Settling at this point in my life is not an option even of consideration.

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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 5:14:33 PM   
Kalira


Posts: 954
Joined: 10/9/2006
From: Fort Wayne Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: aleshaDreams

Being alone is not the easiest place to be for me, but like others i would rather be alone than in an unstable and/or abusive relationship.  Settling at this point in my life is not an option even of consideration.

Settling does NOT mean that you have to go into an abusive or unstable relationship.

When I say settle for less, I mean in terms of....ok, this is what I want, and this person has SOME of those qualities so I guess I'll take him"

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Facilius Per Partes In Cognitionem Totius Adducimur
We are more easily led part by part to an understanding of the whole.
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Damnant Quod Non Intellegunt

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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 5:19:22 PM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I was just sitting here thinking about a thread in the Mistress section called "Presenting a Challenge". One poster wrote a comment regarding several choices, none of which was acceptable to several. We were told we were avoiding the question. The truth was that, no, we would choose to be alone rather than settle for any of the choices provided.

My question is this. Are we the majority or the minority? I have strong feelings on this and will share later, just curious about other's responses.



To me, self-sufficiency is a key underpinning quality of dominance. Need is a thought form best kept in servants or slaves, not in those who keep them. Love, if it is truly reciprocated, may blur those lines, but it should never be seen as something that is a necessity in one's journey for inner happiness and actualization. The presence of such affection should be consequential, not pivotal to internal harmony.

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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 5:20:48 PM   
aleshaDreams


Posts: 184
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		Kalira, sorry my reference to settling was no reflection on your post.  I perhaps should have written that 'i am not prepared to enter into a relationship because being alone is not always that easy or fullfilling.  It is nice to share life with another, but to settle for less than what would stimulate interest would not render results that could bring the degree of mutual satisfaction hence the lack of desire to settle.

Hope that explains it.

< Message edited by aleshaDreams -- 11/6/2006 5:21:30 PM >

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