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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 5:24:29 PM

Quivver

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I was told once that "Humans are Herd Animals" by someone who felt I spend too much time alone. But it seems from reading above that I'm not alone in liking my own company for the most part. Sure there's days I get lonely and find myself gravitating too much to our boards for some inkling of human contact. But alone in the sense of without a partner is a different thing alltogether. I spent toooo many years alone putting on the facade of the happliy married.... I'd rather be alone then to ever settle again. My only worry is old age... what then?

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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 5:25:56 PM

defiantbadgirl

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I can be happy alone for awhile.......after all, there are certain advantages. To be honest though, it does get depressing after a few months. Being alone is better than being with mr wrong though.. Gives me plenty of time to search for mr right.

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Post #: 22

RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 5:33:51 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
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From: Arizona
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

My question is this. Are we the majority or the minority? I have strong feelings on this and will share later, just curious about other's responses.

*Smile* I read that thread too.
I think studies, and a general consensus I observe is that for women, we would be in the majority. Content to be alone rather than settling and compromising to be with the wrong partner just so we could have a partner.
For men, I believe it is less common. They have a tendency to remarry more quickly after a divorce, or at least to get a steady gf and live together.
I like Myself, I am who I am, and I am not going to settle Myself with someone who is not the right person for Me. I have no problem with My own company, and I have a busy life and have plenty of social interaction.
Sarbonne is right. I (once in a great while) think it might be nice to have a lifetime partner, but there is not tremendous need in Me to find someone or any longing or lonliness. I am content, and if and when the right person comes along, I will know it. Until then...C'est La Vie!

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 11/6/2006 5:35:07 PM >

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(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 23

RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 5:39:04 PM

jadia

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Joined: 8/4/2004
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Rarely do I post to these boards, but this topic caught my eye! I have been alone for nearly a decade, and yes, to echo another poster, my standards are high, I am self sufficient and content with life. However, there are times of loneliness, fleeting and intermittent, but that is something to accept when one is alone. Would it be nice to have someone to share life with? Absolutely! I haven't found that "fit" yet, but have not given up hope and continue to remain optimistic, and be open minded enough to consider things I had not considered before.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

Post #: 24

RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 6:12:03 PM

subfever

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People tend to confuse being lonely with being unhappy.

I am of the belief that happiness comes from within, and those who seek happiness from without are doomed to chasing the wind.

It seems to me that too few of us seek romantic relationships to share our happiness. Instead, we tend to seek others to fill some void within us that we haven't figured out how to fill ourselves. And we wonder why relationships tend to be so difficult and frustrating?

To directly answer the OP's question... Yes, I can be happy alone!

(in reply to jadia)

Post #: 25

RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 6:12:32 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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I have to agree with quivver in the sense that I too have made a mistake in my past.And preference is I am happy and content with the life that I have now, which is why I feel I am in a good place to seek my mate and not ever ever settle. With that said as quivver again said "but what about old age"?..IMO if I find my "One"..~g~..then hallulajah! if not, now or older, I will be still content and happy with my family and friends ...I do not fear being alone.......Tempting

(in reply to jadia)

Post #: 26

RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 6:13:03 PM

Wildfleurs

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From: Connecticut
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I was just sitting here thinking about a thread in the Mistress section called "Presenting a Challenge". One poster wrote a comment regarding several choices, none of which was acceptable to several. We were told we were avoiding the question.

The truth was that, no, we would choose to be alone rather than settle for any of the choices provided.

My question is this. Are we the majority or the minority? I have strong feelings on this and will share later, just curious about other's responses.

I absolutely think you can be happy alone. On a recent thread on here I was saying that I was happy and led a fufilling life before my owner, and I still do with him in my life.

C~

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(in reply to LaTigresse)

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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 6:15:27 PM

subfever

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Hmm... I've never used Fast Reply before today, and just realized that it responds not to the OP, but to the last poster.

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Post #: 28

RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 6:20:26 PM

mnottertail

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fast reply

I can be happier alone than I can be happy with alot of people, but that don't make me dead, I'm still looking.............

Ron

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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Post #: 29

RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 6:22:23 PM

Lorelei115

Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
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I don't think you can be truly happy with someone else until you are able to be happy alone.

And old age? Hell, I wouldn't worry about it. All else fails, find a friend and agree that if you are both still single past a certain age, you'll move in together and keep each other company.

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Of who we are.

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Post #: 30

RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 6:28:12 PM

gypsygrl

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From: new york state
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I can be content alone. I gotta lot of stuff going on in my head, and its nice just to be able to follow it along without a lot of interruptions. And, when I run out of stuff in my head, its pretty easy to find a book or something and get a re-fill. :)

When I separated from my exhusband 6 years ago, it was the first time in my life that I had lived by myself. I really like it.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 31

RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 6:31:58 PM

LaTigresse

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Thank you to everyone that has replied.

First I want to say that yes, I meant relationship kind of alone. I do have a huge full life with so many wonderful people in it, friends and family. I don't even live alone.

I have made no secret of the fact that I have not done the funky thang for over a year now, by choice. I was tired of half hearted attempts that left me feeling more empty, lonely and hollow later. I also felt that I really needed to focus and put my energy into some other areas. Contrary to popular belief, going without is not all that difficult or terrible.

The thing is, I have had very little opportunity in my life to be physically alone but can say that I quite often feel lonely. Oddly enough in is stronger in larger groups of people and less so when I really am by myself. I will say that I don't think feeling lonely is a thing to that must be avoided, it just is what it is.

I have just recently come to the realization that I may never have the relationship I crave and will survive that if it indeed should be the case. I will even have a full and happy life without it. Of course I won't give up hope or shut out any possibility that may come my way, I just cannot let it define my life or the value of my life. I also agree 100% with amayos that self sufficiency is important to me. Love is not a necessity for our self journey or happiness it's just the icing on the cake if we happen to find it.

So yeah, I can honestly say that I can confidently, and quite happily, say that I don't feel the burning need to find someone, to settle for someone that is not right for me just to have a submissive/slave, to validate who I am.

I will additionally say that I do not see settling and compromise as being the same at all. We all compromise in many ways in our lives, especially in relationships. Settling is a whole different thing in my mind.

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Post #: 32

RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 6:41:37 PM

Kyrand

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Joined: 8/25/2006
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In a lot of ways, being alone is a state of mind. I’ve been at points in my life where I have been alone no matter how many people surrounded me including family, loved ones, work mates, and casual acquaintances. And I’ve had times in my life where an animal like a Dog can take away all the feelings of being alone and fill my heart up with warmth without a “girlfriend” or whatever other word you want to use that society attributes to making you “not alone”. I’ve also been in a relationship that everyone around me has considered loving and stable and yet still felt alone. It all depends on the person, where they are at in their lives and what their needs are at any given time. When it comes right down to it, we’re all, every one of us, alone. Sadly, we can’t share every part of ourselves with someone else no matter how much we might wish to or how hard we try. We wake up in our own skin, with our own thoughts and feelings and we go through every day trying to connect with others. Being in a relationship doesn’t change that, it only creates a fleeting connection between those involved. Even the people in the most loving and stable, happy and content relationships have times when they feel alone. I cherish the times when I find that connection with someone and perhaps someday I’ll find that person who can fill up a little of that “alone” place inside me. But I can also be happy with myself while I’m not with another person because while I’m not perfect, I am quality enough to be happy with myself and not feel like I need someone else to make me some “complete person”.

(in reply to gypsygrl)

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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 6:49:11 PM

tanika

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I don't like to be alone. I can do it for short periods of time, but I feel so 'incomplete' without having someone to share my life with. A question I recently asked myself was is What if this is as good as it gets? I hope not, yet what if no one else comes along that is compatible enough and more than what is? Tis a risk we take in letting go and seeking what we hope will make us happy. I will belive there is someone else..

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 34

RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 6:57:51 PM

mnottertail

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Uff Da, what a looker you are tho.............

Ron

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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Post #: 35

RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 6:58:03 PM

angelic

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Joined: 1/24/2005
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Without reading any other posts, i am never alone, and have no One. i am happy; i would rather be happy without One, than miserable with One.

i have a great job with a major national corporation; i have two wonderful young men (albeit teenagers will be teenagers). Do i feel like i am missing something? Sure, some days, and some days i am absolutely thrilled i have no one to answer to.

If i have another One, it will be the One as i will not ever again settle for less than what i desire and deserve.

Great thread!

< Message edited by angelic -- 11/6/2006 7:44:07 PM >

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Post #: 36

RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 7:35:14 PM

MasterFireMaam

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From: Charleston, WV
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quote:

ORIGINAL: nikaa

I dont rely on others for my happiness

BINGO! Thus, we can be happy alone. Having others makes life more fun and less lonely...but being lonely and being unhappy don't necessarily have to go together.

Master Fire

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Post #: 37

RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 8:13:59 PM

Lashra

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Yes, I came into this world alone and I will go out of it alone. I am an only child and I spent alot of time alone. When your an only you learn to entertain yourself and keep occupied. I work from home alot and when my unmentionable is at school, I'm home alone with 3 dogs.

Does this mean I want to be alone? No not really, I'd much prefer to have my current sub with me for the rest of my life. But if something should happen thats ok. I'll take it in stride and be as happy as I can.

~Lashra

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“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 8:30:53 PM

CandleInTheWind

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I would rather be alone than to be with the wrong person.....I have proven that to be true.....I am a single mother of 6. I have th eopportunity on several occassions to "settle" for someone and have a life's partner...but those men weren't the right person!

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It is better to be hated for something that you are
than it is to be loved for something you are not

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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/6/2006 8:39:49 PM

Ava82

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Joined: 1/2/2006
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I don't mind not having someone, really. I'd rather work on myself than to lay in bed at night and try to justify things I don't like about someone I'm seeing that isn't right. I have plenty of things to do, and learn, and companionship of family and friends if I want it. Such is the way of life for a picky lady!

(in reply to CandleInTheWind)

Post #: 40

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