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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/10/2006 2:51:58 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Dear James,

I agree, that one can be in a relationship solely because one thinks that is the right thing to do. Some people find security in that.

(in reply to jamesthehumanrug)
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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/10/2006 2:53:48 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunshine119
It's better to be alone than wish you were!


Great quote!!

(in reply to Sunshine119)
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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/10/2006 3:15:48 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		 
Hello A/all,

The title of this thread is "Can you be happy alone?" which seems like somewhat of a two part question.

The first question would be "Can you be happy?"

I have been told that I seem to be extremely cheerful and happy.  I suppose.  I dont really think about it much.

I have a lot to do.  I am always in the middle of 14 things in all different directions.  I dont mind it, really, I am enjoying the hell out of my time here.

The second question is "Does your happiness rely on not being alone?"

I would have to say no.  I enjoy being with people.  I enjoy being alone.  I would have to qualify the relationship to being with somebody by saying that my longest relationship and I shared a household and little else.  And my next long term relationship was with a flight attendant who was gone 22 days a month.

I am fairly self portable and do just fine by myself.

Just me, etc.

Sinergy

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(in reply to ownedgirlie)
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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/11/2006 7:20:40 AM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I was just sitting here thinking about a thread in the Mistress section called "Presenting a Challenge". One poster wrote a comment regarding several choices, none of which was acceptable to several. We were told we were avoiding the question.


Hmmm, wonder who that poster was????

Here's my theory on loneliness, born from working inside the home and as a result being generally isolated.

When a person eats three (3) meals in a row all by himself, he's crossed over into loneliness.

After the three meals alone count comes no satisfying social encounters over an entire weekend.

After the lonely weekend comes no prospects for satisfying friendship or love for 6 months or more in a row.

Points 1, 2, and 3 above refer to being involuntarily alone, aka, its not a choice to be on your own --- its a matter of circumstance.


(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/11/2006 7:27:19 AM   
degradess


Posts: 68
Joined: 7/15/2005
Status: offline 		I am wrestling with this question yet , again as I just broke up with someone.  While I can survive alone it's hard after so long not to want to give in to a more vanilla relationship.  How long can you talk to the cat and not start losing touch with that part of  yourself that relates to another person closely.  I can get by alone and survive but I can definately say that I am not happy with it anymore.  On the other hand, its is true that being with the wrong person isn't good either.   Freinds help but at this point I would love to find somene to share my life with.  In my area there aren't many in the lifestyle so short of moviing away I don't know what to do about it.  

(in reply to cloudboy)
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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/11/2006 7:57:36 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		cloudboy, I hope you did not take this thread as singling you out or picking on you. I would not do something like that. You just sparked a thought process in me that I wanted to carry further.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/11/2006 8:33:52 AM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		There seems to be an assumption that not being in a serious relationship is being alone, which isn't necessarily the case. One mightn't want a serious relationship with a partner because of the compromises involved. I live alone and wouldn't have it any other way. I eat in the local cafe most days as do many friends. Barely a days goes past without someone dropping into my studio for a chat and a drink. I have my daughters,only one of whom is old enough to engage in serious conversation but it provides all the love I need and I have several female friends I date. I have the freedom to do whatever I want when I want. If I had a full time partner I would have to cut so much out of my life, my choice is not to have one. I am not the only one in this position. Most of my social circle have made the same choice. Now I admit, I live in a vibrant city where something is always happening and if I was buried in a 'dead in a live hole' my outlook might be completely different.

(in reply to cloudboy)
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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/11/2006 8:44:38 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Apparently not, for some at least, even as I type this insightful missive, directly above this thread is the 2 subs at once thread.............


Oh, the fuckin' humanity (don't correct me and say irony, I'm rather emotional right now)........I am welling up with tears here....

Ron


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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/11/2006 9:21:52 AM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
No, I'm cool.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/11/2006 9:30:27 AM   
AvalonGoddess


Posts: 7
Joined: 10/7/2006
Status: offline 		I've lived alone (with my unmentionables) for nine years now since leaving a hellishly bad marriage that make me feel more alone than I ever had. I treasure my solitude... if I could afford to I would be alone working on various projects in my home and studio most of the time. I've had a few non live in romantic relationships and in the end found them more annoying than comforting, even though we got along well (I will NOT be with someone who argues constantly) just because I tend to nurture my partner and it breaks my inner stream of thoughts after a while. But then BAM I got into my first BDSM relationship... maybe it was a coincidence but the bonding was almost as deep as the bond I had felt with my toddlers...I wanted to be with him and to know he was safe and happy all the time. That's what I am looking for now.. a deep deep bond. But I'm afraid that after all this time alone I won't be able to readjust my thinking to allow that to happen. I'm kinda set in my ways.

(in reply to mnottertail)
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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/11/2006 3:02:18 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		<fast reply>

I've always been my own best friend....so being alone isn't something I think about really. I can keep myself from being bored... I have things to do daily... people to talk to if I want... people to see if I want to see them. I've been in relationships I felt I was in by myself during the duration of said relationship. And i'll tell you... I would rather be totally alone than feel that way during any type of relationship... friendship or other....

About the only time I get to feeling.... like i'm missing out... needing more.... is during holidays.... get together with other friends and family. And they're couples... while i'm single. But then again....after hanging with them after alittle while... listening to them bitch about each other...or argue... I smile and remember why i'm single...and that feeling goes away real quick like.......LOL 

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Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

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RE: Can you be happy alone? - 11/11/2006 3:10:41 PM   
sissifytoserve


Posts: 1016
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline 		Sometimes you are left with little or no choice in the matter.

Its helped in my growth...but hampered it also.

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A great mind must be androgynous
Samuel Coleridge

The uniting of the feminine and the masculine is the highest form of human development Carl Jung

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