LordODiscipline
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Joined: 6/28/2004
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Characterize it as you shall - it is a very personal thing which someone has to 'wrest themselves from' on their own...
And, it is easier not to do it - to remain addicted and continuing behavior that has allowed them to "self medicate" oneself.
Change sucks - and, changing an addiction is something that is tenuously hard.
Certainly being in a healthy relationship is a means assisting in the achievment of this - but we started talkingn about strangers and their attitude towards people... not loved ones.
And, "Yes" - It is demonstrated through study that someone has to do this on their own... that they do not "stop" because of physical dependencey (in the case of alcohol and drugs) and (most especially) because of a psychological addiction...
A major component of the psychological addiction is a reluctance/refusal to change a pattern of comfort. Taking the addictive substance is often a means of coping with the world and/or feeding a habit (which is why they call it a 'habit')
'Support' is one thing - actually 'Doing It' is something else.
From all indicators and examples you present, you are basing your view on observations -subjective determinants - which are a good means of beginning to understand, but are 'subjective' and therefore are not a solid basis for an overall understanding in any way of the process and the actuality of an addiction.
~J - Who has never been addicted to anything except cigarettes; but, admires people's courage, hates their cowardice, and loves the study of human psychological abnormalities (of which addiction is definitively a huge one)
PS: Bill W. was the founder of AA and his program is the basis of all other similar groups including Narcotics Anonymous, Over-Eaters Anonymous, and (something to look in to) Co_dependants Anonymous (among many others)
quote:
ORIGINAL: SamKeithsslave
quote:
ORIGINAL: LordODiscipline
The point at where an addict becomes self responsive and responsible is generally when they hit the bottom, reach an epiphany from the end of 'their road', "discover salvation when there was only darkness"<----insert your own tired euphamism here...
People "remain" doing the things that damage them because it is easier to do so than to suffer change.
I'm sorry you actually believe that.
They stay addicts and/or alcoholics and or fat(? - per your analogy) because they do not want to be better more than they want that next "fix".
Perhaps you need to ask why dont they want to be better? Dont make the mistake that many seem to that it because they are too lazy etc. Many won't make a change because they simply dont believe there is any reason to, they have a low selfesteem etc and until someone shows them they are worthwhile they dont. I myself dropped 50 kg (100+ pounds) after leaving my ex and finding someone who was compassionate and understanding. I am not making the statements I am making just to fill in space, I know what I myself felt and experienced and I remained the way I was not because I didnt want to change or didnt want to be better, I felt I didnt deserve better. When I finally found I did deserve better the weight dropped off without any effort etc.
A simple offerance is not the answer - for if it was, Bill W would have a lot more success cases.
Sorry, should I know who Bill W is?
It may be "one component" in that epiphany - but, for you to foist that on someone (anyone) and state their attitude as a "the reason" that "people remain fat", is absolute BS.
We are all responsible for ourselves and stating that "compassion" <especially from strangers on the internet> MIGHT BE the answer is silly and sliding about on the co-dependant rhetoric of doom...
I am not suggesting that compassion from strangers on the internet is going to solve anyones problems. I was addressing the sitting next to someone on a plane (ie person to person - no computers involved) who is obese as mentioned in the example given before. I am talking about compassion in life as being part of the answer, yes. Of course I am only basing my opinion on what I have seen and experienced with many people in my life over the years. Large people who have suddenly dropped weight after getting out of one abusive relationship into a far more compassionate one. Sober alcoholics who have been sober for 20+ years because they are in loving caring relationships.
_____________________________
"Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential."
William Thomas
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RE: D/does A/anyone E/else T/think T/this? - 
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