I can't get the third out of my head

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I can't get the third out of my head - 11/13/2006 6:50:27 AM

safesaneplay2

Posts: 22
Joined: 10/2/2006
Status: offline

Master had a fantasy about having a third (someday having a poly) even though I consider myself straight, I submitted to his request and played with him and another female. It was my first time doing anything like this. It's been 10 days. I still feel her. I still see her. I still feel my stomach turn when I think of what I did. Master wants to continue to explore this avenue. Somedays, I feel like I'm going to vomit, curl up and die. This weekend, when we were together and he began to touch me, I froze up and felt the same as I had at the end of my 13 yr vanilla relationship before we filed for divorce. He says I will get over this feeling because I love him and want to make him happy. If anyone has suggestions, please. I do love him. I just feel sick inside.

_____________________________

coloring outside the lines!!

Post #: 1

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/13/2006 6:56:53 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Maybe if you took a shave, it could be a hair in your throat.

I just guess I couldn't get all that upset about it, but would have to have a hold the phone meeting with Master.............

Stop, no more, don't push, give me time........

Why does this have to be done over and over again, right away.......

Time, Time, Time;
See what's become of me..........

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to safesaneplay2)

Post #: 2

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/13/2006 6:58:24 AM

MzTlaz

Posts: 140
Joined: 8/8/2006
Status: offline

Sounds like you were pushed over a hard limit. Bringing in a third, D/s or vanilla has ended many a relationship. Poly isn't for everyone and it sounds like it's not for you. If it isn't then don't do it, it's not worth the damage it causes you emotionally and if your Dom cares about you he won't push that limit.

How you get over it...well, you may or you may not, not much I can offer here other than talk to him about how you feel. Maybe you can come to an agreement about being in a monogamous relationship. If he dismisses your feelings and tells you you'll get used to it...well, it may be time to start interviewing new Doms.

(in reply to safesaneplay2)

Post #: 3

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/13/2006 7:00:33 AM

safesaneplay2

Posts: 22
Joined: 10/2/2006
Status: offline

was your answer suppose to make sense or just random thoughts of bullshit running thru your head?

_____________________________

coloring outside the lines!!

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 4

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/13/2006 7:00:36 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

People don't "get over" being straight. If this is something that he feels he must have in his life, you will have to decide whether or not you are compatible as partners. It doesn't matter how much you love someone.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to safesaneplay2)

Post #: 5

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/13/2006 7:18:51 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Agree with Erin- it's gonna take more than love and desire to please to "get over" a serious issue and if he's not willing to put the work into it, he might as well just hang up the towel right now.

As well, it's going to be difficult to find a regular partner willing to give up a weekend every month or so just to have sex with someone who is revolted by the whole thing. I personally would love it, but only just for the one time thrill of humiliation.

You two need some serious thinking and communicating to start going on.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 6

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/13/2006 7:19:49 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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yes it was supposed to make sense, was your retort meant to show complete lack of understanding of a viewpoint that was rather in concert with your dilemma when solicited and your obnoxiousness when faced with a post that is not exactly your dream come true?

Or are we confused here?

That's right, blow up at the first line, that is meant to bring some levity to a situation, and shut down anything else said, that should resolve it for you.

Communication (and I will let your mind paint the rest of this sentence.)
Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to safesaneplay2)

Post #: 7

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/13/2006 7:26:06 AM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

You have to communicate with him. If you feel not good after being with a female that is not something that will just work it way out because you love your Master. That is lazy and wishful thinking on his part. Now I will not put in such strong language that being with a woman for you will never be pleasent or just OK, because I have known women who were similar but it totally depended on the other woman and situation, but certainly there is also a very strong chance that you are 100% straight. Nothing wrong with that at all.

My .02 opinion is that you need to communicate how this affected you and for him to respect that this is a problem and not for him to push for his own desires. Maybe you will never want to be with another woman or maybe it is something you can work on but on your own pace and circumstances, but one thing I really do have a strong opinion on, is him pushing you using the "you love me" excuse is a lazy cop out.

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 8

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/13/2006 7:39:16 AM

safesaneplay2

Posts: 22
Joined: 10/2/2006
Status: offline

i really have no idea what you are trying to say..honest smiles..sometimes people just don't speak the same language.

_____________________________

coloring outside the lines!!

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 9

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/13/2006 7:41:38 AM

smilezz

Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline

Why does he have to involve you in his snacks?
I agree, there seems to be some loss of communication here. The whole "you will do it if/because you love me and want to see my happy" seems like 8th grade school drama crap. If he wants to have other women in his life, there is no reason that the two of you can not sit down rationally and discuss this. Again, there is NO reason that you need to be involved in his snacks. (or whatever term you want to use)

As many have already said. The communication should have started a long time ago on this. Now seems like an even better time to get this stuff out on the table. No holding back. Lay it all out and talk.

~smilezz~

_____________________________

=It's not my fault that when I was a baby I was dropped in a box of Glitter & I have been shinin' ever since=

�*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,-:* �

(in reply to safesaneplay2)

Post #: 10

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/13/2006 7:48:01 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Maybe if you took a shave, it could be a hair in your throat.
(this was intended to lighten up the issue)

I just guess I couldn't get all that upset about it, but would have to have a hold the phone meeting with Master.............
(this was not you doing it, it was an object that your master ordered to perform, do not continue with this bad line of self talk, do not vomit, do not dwell, that was something else that did that............be ok with yourself, you tried it, you didn't like it)

Stop, no more, don't push, give me time........
(Say this out loud, take a beating if you have to)

Why does this have to be done over and over again, right away.......
(you said he is rather pushing, and you are extremely against this, Communication needs to take place, right now, right away, with no bones about it. He needs to understand this....)

Time, Time, Time;
See what's become of me..........
(this is a few words from a song that (I consider easily recognizable) has a wistful quality about it, that sets ones mind thinking about where they have come from, where they are today, and where they will be tomorrow)

safe (I assume it was that) sane (in your case, it seems not so) play (if it is drudgery, it is not play) 2 (is a number).

If he don't get into it, you might have to get out of it............

I am an asshole, I assure you........but I ain't a mindless, uncaring prick, Lady.

Either way, this will not be well recieved by all.

Sincerely,
Ron
edited to add, I just saw smiley sneak in ahead of me--- Ja, what she said!!!

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 11/13/2006 7:51:04 AM >

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to safesaneplay2)

Post #: 11

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/13/2006 7:57:42 AM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

Ron...you are taking over my job as official Ron Translator.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 12

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/13/2006 8:02:24 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

sometimes people just don't speak the same language.

And the sky is a hazy shade of winter

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to safesaneplay2)

Post #: 13

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/13/2006 8:02:35 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzTlaz

Sounds like you were pushed over a hard limit. Bringing in a third, D/s or vanilla has ended many a relationship. Poly isn't for everyone and it sounds like it's not for you. If it isn't then don't do it, it's not worth the damage it causes you emotionally and if your Dom cares about you he won't push that limit.

How you get over it...well, you may or you may not, not much I can offer here other than talk to him about how you feel. Maybe you can come to an agreement about being in a monogamous relationship. If he dismisses your feelings and tells you you'll get used to it...well, it may be time to start interviewing new Doms.

What MzTlaz has stated is the same thing I would advise. If it sickens you then do not do it and if he cannot understand that or deal with it. Start looking for a new Dom. Life is too short to be miserable.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to MzTlaz)

Post #: 14

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/13/2006 8:51:46 AM

xBullx

Posts: 4206
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

Greetings coloring outside the lines,

I must and do simply agree that you must speak (communicate) with your owner. I am going to speak from my own perspective as it is all I have. My free companion is straight as the day is long. I love her to pieces and wouldn't dream about doing anything to compromise her inner woman. And I'm one of those selfish old prick like Goreans. Yes, I have my sadistic fantasies, (shhh, don't tell anyone) not that a three way is sadist, but the destruction of a soul is, but does any owner truely want to destroy the spirit of his most prized property or valued companion. Maybe, but I bet they are few and far between, and there are girls for them, too. With reguards to the slave I am currently window shopping over. She is bi, good for her, that sits well for her, it's neither here nor there for me, maybe if I take a second slave that is bi or have a kinkster like moment she'll get to play a bit. But I see no value in the destruction of a spirit to satisfy a simple kink I might have. I am not an extreme sadist though. I don't want you to think I view this as coddling a female slave though, or any other female for that matter. To me it is a matter of truely understanding what paints you have to work with and then set them to the canvas in doing so create the work of art that no one could have ever imagined. Goreans also believe that you should never do anything to detract from the value of a girl, I would imagine a beat down and disheartened girl would be of little value. I don't know your situation well enough to ever advise you to search for another Dom, or owner. I believe in love and commitment, but as was stated by others life is precious and short.

Serve well,

Bull

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 15

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/13/2006 9:00:43 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

I am an impatient sort, but realize you need your bowl of rice, I will try to insure my obscurity in layered fashion, for your eloquence and logic to unentangle, in a post
that will have logicians writhing in apoplectic agony in the not to distant future.

In short, Madame, I will try to do better.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 16

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/13/2006 9:03:18 AM

xBullx

Posts: 4206
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

LMAO.................at Ron, not the girl............I love monday morning humor

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 17

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/13/2006 9:04:49 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

LOL,

Babe!!! Excellent usage and interpretation of what should be a visual for some by now !!!!

I'm just a soul whos intentions are good;
Oh, Lord! Please don't let me be misunderstood.

An Animal (at heart),
Eric Burdon

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 18

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/13/2006 9:32:29 AM

Emperor1956

Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

Seeing as this thread has deteriorated (oh, BIG surprise), I have to ask: Are we quoting rock n' roll lyrics, now? Cause here's one that is PARTICULARLY appropo:

"Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right. Here I am STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH YOU!"

E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 19

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/13/2006 9:48:24 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

In terms of its usage in ResDogs, it may be more appropo than first imagined.

Ron

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 11/13/2006 9:49:53 AM >

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Emperor1956)

Post #: 20

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