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RE: Why would a Domme...? - 11/14/2006 7:19:39 AM   
CaptveDesre


Posts: 16
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Morrigel

If you can't treat a person the way they want to be treated, don't act like it's some kind of astounding shock that they pass you over for someone who does.  Not sure why this is such a tough one for so many of you to grasp... 

--M


When a Domme rewards a yesman submissive one moment, and outcries in their annoying abundance the next; and when a Domme in their own words seeks a submissive with independent thought, before insulting and casting out any submissive who doesn't subscribe to her exact belief... Its pretty astounding.


(in reply to Morrigel)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Why would a Domme...? - 11/14/2006 7:47:04 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CaptveDesre

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

quote:

ORIGINAL: orfunboi

i have a question, if you will so indulge me. Just curious you see.

How many Femme Dommes have you actually met?


Age 20 and "dreamt of service".......I have my druthers....


My age is irrelevant, MisPandora, Ive met with enough Dommes in the real realm and have enjoyed their company, as they have mine. Thats not to say I've licked each ones feet in servitude, but I digress. You're not furthering this conversation by putting me on a lower regard due to age, or picking apart choice words within my profile.


Your statement most certainly does have relevance in regard to your perceptions vs your actual experiences.  Many men who have "dreamt" of serving a dominant woman store us, the femdom, a different cubbyhole in their brain than the "vanilla women".  They somehow forget that the femdom is still a human and not just a life support system for a whip.  She's allowed to have personal preferences, she's allowed to change her mind, and she's even allowed to be narrow-minded, shallow and selective.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to CaptveDesre)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Why would a Domme...? - 11/14/2006 7:49:02 AM   
jimbo747


Posts: 109
Joined: 10/6/2006
Status: offline 		lookat em as individuals probably her ways bleed into all areas of her life

(in reply to CaptveDesre)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Why would a Domme...? - 11/14/2006 7:50:16 AM   
jimbo747


Posts: 109
Joined: 10/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

quote:

ORIGINAL: CaptveDesre

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

quote:

ORIGINAL: orfunboi

i have a question, if you will so indulge me. Just curious you see.

How many Femme Dommes have you actually met?


Age 20 and "dreamt of service".......I have my druthers....


My age is irrelevant, MisPandora, Ive met with enough Dommes in the real realm and have enjoyed their company, as they have mine. Thats not to say I've licked each ones feet in servitude, but I digress. You're not furthering this conversation by putting me on a lower regard due to age, or picking apart choice words within my profile.


Your statement most certainly does have relevance in regard to your perceptions vs your actual experiences.  Many men who have "dreamt" of serving a dominant woman store us, the femdom, a different cubbyhole in their brain than the "vanilla women".  They somehow forget that the femdom is still a human and not just a life support system for a whip.  She's allowed to have personal preferences, she's allowed to change her mind, and she's even allowed to be narrow-minded, shallow and selective.


*absolutely. 

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Why would a Domme...? - 11/14/2006 8:03:59 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Nikolette


That is awfully presumptuous of you, dear Lady. I wouldn't say I've often found that to be the case at all. The more INSECURE the Domme the more they tend to be stereotypical, or as I've found.
 Not presumptuous at all.  See your own profile.. we have the gratuitous "foot" pics along with the subtle "crop" placement. 

(in reply to Nikolette)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Why would a Domme...? - 11/14/2006 8:07:29 AM   
Nikolette


Posts: 488
Joined: 10/2/2004
Status: offline 		*laughs* I'm not stretching to be stereotypical in that. I LOVE footworship, as well as my crop. I inherited that crop from my mother actually. *little snooty sniff*

I can't believe you'd think it was stereotypical. Gosh.

~edited to add after a glance at my profile


I'm even holding a puppy and reading with a Ferret. now how is my profile stereotypical bad ass Domme? *pout*

Wait. fuck.

Is pouting?

*paranoid rush*

muhahahaha


Ooooh I am such a hippy artist peace activist type I should take this as a complement. *chortles merrily*

< Message edited by Nikolette -- 11/14/2006 8:12:51 AM >

_____________________________

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." ---Mahatma Gandhi

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Why would a Domme...? - 11/14/2006 8:07:43 AM   
Legman1


Posts: 25
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		Who among us wouldn't want a partner capable of independent thought? Also when that thought occurs,  they just happen to agree with us. It's in the nature of the beast to draw those in agreement closest.

(in reply to CaptveDesre)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Why would a Domme...? - 11/14/2006 8:13:25 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CaptveDesre

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora


Age 20 and "dreamt of service".......I have my druthers....


My age is irrelevant, MisPandora, Ive met with enough Dommes in the real realm and have enjoyed their company, as they have mine. Thats not to say I've licked each ones feet in servitude, but I digress. You're not furthering this conversation by putting me on a lower regard due to age, or picking apart choice words within my profile.

Let's see, if you hit puberty at 12.. that leaves 8 years  as "all your life".  So when did you start feeling "submissive"  and in what way?  This isn't just you, but all the young'uns.  I think too, that the young dom/ms are attracted to it all because they found something where the "girl/boy has to do exactly as he/she is told".  Makes life a lot easier. Kind of like "dating with a game plan".  There is a certainty and you know what to expect. If it doesn't work out, then it's because the other wasn't "dom/me or sub/slave enough".  It's a very easy way to save face.

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 11/14/2006 8:15:02 AM >

(in reply to CaptveDesre)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Why would a Domme...? - 11/14/2006 8:16:09 AM   
Morrigel


Posts: 492
Joined: 10/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CaptveDesre

When a Domme rewards a yesman submissive one moment, and outcries in their annoying abundance the next; and when a Domme in their own words seeks a submissive with independent thought, before insulting and casting out any submissive who doesn't subscribe to her exact belief... Its pretty astounding.


There is a profound difference between "independent thought" or "expressing polite disagreement" and plain old-fashioned rudeness, bitterness, and a shitty attitude.    The first is not a handicap, and may actually get you positive attention.  The latter will rarely if ever get you laid.

As for the scenario you're describing, where a gaggle of wicked bitches descend on some poor poor boy who is just "politely expressing disagreement"--sorry, but I haven't seen it happen.  In fact, one of the brattiest bratinskis on this forum is also one of the best-loved boys.  I have no idea whether his orientation is sub, dom, switch or just plain Brat-ola, but I have never seen him "cast out" or ganged-up-on by anyone.  He disagrees with lots of people, but I'm sure he could get a date with a lot of the gals that post here, if he played his cards right.

Regardless, one of the basic truths of the BDSM world is this:  dominants of both sexes have a lot of interpersonal conflict.  Male or female, doms are rarely in lockstep on ANY subject, and often our differences of opinion are settled with the human equivalent of the snarling, growling, chest-beating, and yelling that you see in all sorts of other primates.

In practical terms, what this means is that if you ever see an entire room full of dominants who agree, in unison, that someone's behavior is right out?

You can be pretty damn sure that they're right.  They agree on so little that only the glaringly obvious can pass without debate. 

--M

(in reply to CaptveDesre)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Why would a Domme...? - 11/14/2006 8:25:34 AM   
Morrigel


Posts: 492
Joined: 10/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: imtempting
Ah but were both employing logic which is condemming it. You are saying that a submissive should obey every domme out there.


I've said no such thing, but whatever.  I can see from the progression of your posts that you see this as yet another opportunity to suck someone into your narcissistic persecution complex.

Sorry, hon, but I have no opinion on how you should act with every domme.  I only know how you should probably NOT act with any person that you hope will like you and want you around.  The rule for people you hope will like you and want you around needs to be modified for MORE pleasantness, not less, for people that you hope will like you well enough to want to have sex with you.

If the phrase "all dommes" really corresponds to the phrase "people who I want to like me and have sex with me"--then yes, I would suggest you modify your behavior to be non-offensive to them.  If you don't care whether or not someone likes you or wants to be with you, then feel free to carry on!

Just don't whinge on about the consequences.  The definition of insanity is to repeat the same action over and over again, and expect a different result.

--M

(in reply to imtempting)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Why would a Domme...? - 11/14/2006 8:44:41 AM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 3251
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

Perhaps I'm blind, but I don't see this sort of nonsense happening very often.  This sounds like a very specific, personal incident......


Nah....neither do I   

I see a few dudes who are frustrated with females in general, but that's about it.  Of course there's always the ever present cry  ''all they want is our money'' But I attribute that to the same frustration mentioned above.  

The posts are archived....so perhaps the OP could come back with a link and deliver some representative examples.



 - R

< Message edited by UtopianRanger -- 11/14/2006 8:47:59 AM >

_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton


(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Why would a Domme...? - 11/14/2006 9:45:03 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UtopianRanger

The posts are archived....so perhaps the OP could come back with a link and deliver some representative examples.
- R

Good idea, because I'd really like to take a look at what he's seeing.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to UtopianRanger)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Why would a Domme...? - 11/14/2006 10:43:23 AM   
BossySSBBW


Posts: 132
Joined: 5/18/2006
Status: offline 		For me personally, to have a sub/slave to always say yes does not give me any idea as to what would drive them to be with me, want to service me, what rewards and punishments would be. 
It is almost like not even having another person around because the interaction is so limited.
For me there are times for communication, and times for silence.
If every answer is yes, it is almost like silence.
But these are only my personal opinions.

(in reply to CaptveDesre)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Why would a Domme...? - 11/14/2006 11:03:06 AM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear CaptveDesre, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
In my mind's eye, I find that mature and secure individuals, independent of BDSM, S&M, M/s and or D/s; often will take a mature approach on learning the art of domination.
 
It is those individuals who are easily intimidated, immature and have a need to control people and or things, are the ones who often become rude, self promoting, selective and controlling other peers; are the ones who have little to offer as far as intelligence, knowledge, skills and intent on being the good steward in another's life.  Only from surface conversations can they maintain a dialog however, going under the layers and or asking the roots and or history connected to the experience/knowledge and or skills; they will speak on assumption and hearsay.  For me, it is important and refreshing, to have a slave/submissive descover how I've come about my views, style and or philosophy--in short, to see through my mind's eyes.
 
According to your original post lad, you don't need to be scratching around on the ground with 'wild turkeys.'  These dominants and the posse seem not to even qualify to be in the 'domestic turkey' range.
Lift your standards lad to where you exist in happiness and the mind and spirit is free to explore, learn and grow; through inquiries and more.  Seek your happiness lad.
 
Know lad, that Aristotle was slave.  He was responsible for much of knowledge, skill and spirited discussions, challenging the mind, the logic and the tactics of his day.  He was a strong slave as well as a strong man.  Know also, Socrates was also a slave.  He also was a great influence on civilization as was Aristotle.  Perhaps lad, you may be just as valued as Socrates and or Aristotle in your own way.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to CaptveDesre)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Why would a Domme...? - 11/14/2006 11:54:24 AM   
LovingKitten


Posts: 29
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

quote:

ORIGINAL: CaptveDesre

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

quote:

ORIGINAL: orfunboi

i have a question, if you will so indulge me. Just curious you see.

How many Femme Dommes have you actually met?


Age 20 and "dreamt of service".......I have my druthers....


My age is irrelevant, MisPandora, Ive met with enough Dommes in the real realm and have enjoyed their company, as they have mine. Thats not to say I've licked each ones feet in servitude, but I digress. You're not furthering this conversation by putting me on a lower regard due to age, or picking apart choice words within my profile.


Your statement most certainly does have relevance in regard to your perceptions vs your actual experiences.  Many men who have "dreamt" of serving a dominant woman store us, the femdom, a different cubbyhole in their brain than the "vanilla women".  They somehow forget that the femdom is still a human and not just a life support system for a whip.  She's allowed to have personal preferences, she's allowed to change her mind, and she's even allowed to be narrow-minded, shallow and selective.


I may be out of place in this discussion, but I have read over each person's post with care. I too have seen it in the chatrooms, but not so much in the forums. My own personal experiences, though I too may be young in age, have led me to believe that some people will not tolerate a respectful difference in opinion. I myself have met many femme doms who believe that their word is law, which in most cases it can be. Though when its a discussion and a matter of opinion being revealed at hand, then their word is merely heresay.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Legman1

Who among us wouldn't want a partner capable of independant thought? Also when that thought occurs, they just happen to agree with us. It's in the nature of the beast to draw those in agreement closest.


Well, what you are saying there is that even though they have independant thought, its just in their nature to agree. Most of the time you would be correct, but when a discussion is about a matter of opinion, then how is it possible to consistantly agree? Human beings are rather opinionated creatures, though no one wants to admit it, and when it comes to a topic where it is supposed to be open discussion, and a submissive disagrees and gets hounded for it, then what is the purpose of having independant thought?


(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Why would a Domme...? - 11/14/2006 12:28:01 PM   
SDFemDom4cuck


Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline 		Nik!

Where have you been?? Haven't seen you in ages. I'll look for that email. Miss you!

_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to Nikolette)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Why would a Domme...? - 11/14/2006 12:32:30 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LovingKitten

 My own personal experiences, though I too may be young in age, have led me to believe that some people will not tolerate a respectful difference in opinion.



There may be a difference in opinion at hand, but we don't know.  The OP has stelthily posted rather than giving us an example of what he's talking about.  Enough of us here have said we've not seen it here in the forums for this to make for interesting subject matter should it be unveiled.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to LovingKitten)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Why would a Domme...? - 11/14/2006 12:42:57 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs

Know lad, that Aristotle was slave. He was responsible for much of knowledge, skill and spirited discussions, challenging the mind, the logic and the tactics of his day. He was a strong slave as well as a strong man. Know also, Socrates was also a slave. He also was a great influence on civilization as was Aristotle. Perhaps lad, you may be just as valued as Socrates and or Aristotle in your own way.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs


I'm sorry LadyHugs, I am normal very very impressed with what you say but this part above is just completely incorrect.

Both Socrates and Aristotle were Athenian citizens, not slaves, not even close to that category, and there was a HUGE difference between the two during their lifetimes in Athens.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to LadyHugs)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Why would a Domme...? - 11/14/2006 12:50:52 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Legman1
Who among us wouldn't want a partner capable of independent thought? Also when that thought occurs,  they just happen to agree with us. It's in the nature of the beast to draw those in agreement closest.
Amen!
This is extremely important, as is Morrigel's note that being smart in no way should excuse one from learning how to have lite/respectful social intercourse.   Many people feel that being smart gives them the freedom to be unpleasant a**es to anyone, and don't realize that will never get them affection or plain old sex with any self respecting adult who holds his/her companions to higher standard.   M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Legman1)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Why would a Domme...? - 11/14/2006 12:51:11 PM   
Morrigel


Posts: 492
Joined: 10/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LovingKitten
 
I may be out of place in this discussion, but I have read over each person's post with care. I too have seen it in the chatrooms, but not so much in the forums.
 
Interesting--are there chatrooms here?  Or are we discussing a phenomenon from other sites?  Perhaps I am completely misunderstanding what he is trying to say, or the context for his statements.
 
Chatrooms are a difficult topic, because they seem to combine the worst elements of internet communication (lack of context, tendency to magnify disputes) with the immediacy of face-to-face communication (which allows things to get much uglier much faster than they could by email OR in person).
 
That said, there is plenty of melodrama at all levels of the community.  I have never personally seen a group of femme dommes who got along well enough and agreed with each other well enough to act in concert as he describes against anyone but a troll.  But anything is possible, I s'pose...
 
--M

(in reply to LovingKitten)
Profile   Post #: 40
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