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Help!!! - 11/22/2006 8:03:39 AM   
natasha66


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
Status: offline 		I was involved with a Master for a year and a half.  Then suddenly, POOF, He was gone.  He called on my birthday out of the blue a few weeks ago.  I want to get involved with Him again, but I am scared.  Any suggestions would be appreciated!!!

_____________________________

"If you bother me again I shall visit you in the small hours of the night and put a bat up your nightdress".
~Basil Fawlty

Collared June 4th, 2008
Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.


Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Help!!! - 11/22/2006 8:09:25 AM   
SapphireHouse


Posts: 31
Joined: 11/6/2006
Status: offline 		Wow!  How long did He "poof" for?  i can definitely understand the desire to get back with Him, but if He poofed once, what's to say that He won't again?

i've been there and it hurts like hell.  i'm not saying don't, but experience has taught me not to.  *HUGS*

babygirl[SirS]
House of Sapphire


_____________________________

Sapphire House:
Sir Steven
babygirl[SirS] - SLRN 070-042-204
cherub [MsN] - SLRN 227-950-468

"But Master! The pizzas were ALWAYS on the ceiling!"

(in reply to natasha66)
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RE: Help!!! - 11/22/2006 8:15:01 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I just ditched a submissive *poof*er after a 3rd and final *poof*.
I am sick of the excuses, sick of pretty words, and sick of the mind fucks.
If someone wants to be a part of your life, they need to be a part of your life.
You are not a convenience, to be picked up and toyed with whenever in the mood.
You are a human being with feelings and deserve to be treated as such.
NO ONE should be treated like that, dominant or sub/slave.




_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to SapphireHouse)
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RE: Help!!! - 11/22/2006 8:15:33 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		A year and a half and he just disappeared? Disappeared as in you went to his home to find it completely empty and he hasn't reported for work in weeks? Did you file a missing person's report that you now have to withdraw now that you know he's alive? Or was this one of those online things?

< Message edited by mistoferin -- 11/22/2006 8:20:01 AM >

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to natasha66)
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RE: Help!!! - 11/22/2006 8:16:57 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Oh yeahhhhhh, that would make a difference. I was thinking real life poofing. On the net its rather the norm I would assume.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Help!!! - 11/22/2006 8:18:04 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline
Well, I wouldn't but that's just me.  He prolly will disappear again....cuz I think everything is easier the second time!

(in reply to natasha66)
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RE: Help!!! - 11/22/2006 8:51:42 AM   
slaveMastery


Posts: 77
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: natasha66

I was involved with a Master for a year and a half.  Then suddenly, POOF, He was gone.  He called on my birthday out of the blue a few weeks ago.  I want to get involved with Him again, but I am scared.  Any suggestions would be appreciated!!!


Like others have already mentioned, based on the information provided, it is hard to assess. First of all, what was the nature and level of your involvement and relationship in the first place? Online poofers are, alas, all too common. Even phone poofers are not a rare occurrence. Whereas, active physical meetings and contacts leading to a sudden poof would be much more serious.

Furthermore, were there any "unusual" events or incidents that transpired before the actual poof occurred?

Too little info to provide any type of reliable advice.

(in reply to natasha66)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Help!!! - 11/22/2006 8:57:31 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Perhaps he is a great bleedin' poofter!!!!

Cleese

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to slaveMastery)
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RE: Help!!! - 11/22/2006 9:01:27 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I have never had someone outright poof on me, it does seem like an internet thing to be honest. If it is he probably poofed because he was going to have to take it to the next level and he is married or something, that is the way internet relationships are. I would just remember this, if he is married and using you to live some sort of fantasy life over the internet, when you start to get too close again, he will poof again, that is the way I have seen these things play out with other people anyways.

It is much better to form an actual relationship in the real world where people do not fake their own deaths, disappear, you know where they live and their landline number, and as mistoferin stated, if my Daddy "poofed" I would be calling the cops to make sure aliens had not abducted him...smiles.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to natasha66)
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RE: Help!!! - 11/22/2006 9:04:44 AM   
slaveMastery


Posts: 77
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline 		You mean - there must be something seriously kapoof?

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Help!!! - 11/22/2006 9:34:48 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		What are you willing to sell in order to have the relationship? Meaning, are you willing to set aside, or sell, your hurt, your self worth or your independence to begin the relationship again? Can you live with yourself with what you'd have to sell? If this really devastated you, how much are you willing to risk that it might happen again? Only you can decide.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to natasha66)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Help!!! - 11/22/2006 9:39:58 AM   
Siona


Posts: 242
Joined: 10/5/2006
Status: offline 		I've had a similar experience not too terribly long ago.
I thought about the possiblity of him coming "back to life", would I resume the relationship?
No, I wouldn't.
Once hurt,shame on him.
Twice hurt, shame on me.

Cut the  losses and move on.
Find someone deserving of you.

(in reply to slaveMastery)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Help!!! - 11/22/2006 9:51:23 AM   
empresschaos


Posts: 84
Joined: 10/23/2005
Status: offline 		Nope. I've had a poofer, and they never ever ever stop poofing. He left once, I was devastated. He came crawling back (almost literally) calling a dozen times in a day, leaving a card taped to my door at 4am, etc. I took him back. We did it a half dozen times before enough was enough. I had to move out of town to break the pattern! Ugh!

(in reply to natasha66)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Help!!! - 11/22/2006 9:54:09 AM   
raiken


Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I have never had someone outright poof on me, it does seem like an internet thing to be honest. If it is he probably poofed because he was going to have to take it to the next level and he is married or something, that is the way internet relationships are. I would just remember this, if he is married and using you to live some sort of fantasy life over the internet, when you start to get too close again, he will poof again, that is the way I have seen these things play out with other people anyways.

When i first began to date again, i had my first online ~poofing~ experience.  Intense communciations, emails, phone calls, for months, and then the day of the scheduled meet...~poof!~ gonesky... that only happened once.  Come to find out he was married to a nilla with a child, and another on the way.  So while i was for real, he was for fantasy. Tuff lesson.  It even made me drop off line for a while to understand what i have to prepare for now.  i was and still am coming out of the time warp.  ~lol

It is much better to form an actual relationship in the real world where people do not fake their own deaths, disappear, you know where they live and their landline number, and as mistoferin stated, if my Daddy "poofed" I would be calling the cops to make sure aliens had not abducted him...smiles.


While i value my friends i have made online, i have learned not to ~overly~ invest too much of myself in online connections.  just too many ways that things can make ya go ~poof~

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Help!!! - 11/22/2006 9:55:15 AM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		Without more information how can anyone really help you we are all just giveing stabs in the dark here... I mean did he poof for months hours days how long, was this a real life thing or just online... if real life how often did you normaly see him... we cant tell if maybe you might be over reacting to not getting a call for a few days or if he was a jerk and dissapeared on you for a few months without worning... No one can give you any advise that will have any value if you dont give more info!!

Magik's slave

< Message edited by MagiksSlave -- 11/22/2006 9:56:05 AM >

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to Siona)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Help!!! - 11/22/2006 10:03:24 AM   
raiken


Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I have never had someone outright poof on me, it does seem like an internet thing to be honest. If it is he probably poofed because he was going to have to take it to the next level and he is married or something, that is the way internet relationships are. I would just remember this, if he is married and using you to live some sort of fantasy life over the internet, when you start to get too close again, he will poof again, that is the way I have seen these things play out with other people anyways.

On further thought....there are really those married folks who seriously are looking to fill a void or need in their life in real time.  While not wanting to break from or hurt their sig other in the process.  In that case, a poof may happen if the sig other found out...and the poof may be very instantaneous and without warning in some cases.


(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Help!!! - 11/22/2006 10:21:49 AM   
LordVelvet


Posts: 311
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline 		<smiling at raiken> I like the corrected version better <giving warm hugs>

(in reply to raiken)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Help!!! - 11/22/2006 8:52:04 PM   
SirDarkside357


Posts: 393
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline 		I'm a relitivly simple guy that seldom tries to over think things....... unless there was a very good reason, and one that could be proven, I'd say....once a poofer, always a poofer.... but if you want to run that risk, it's up to you.....just don't expect everyone to comfort you if he does it again.

Be Well,
Darkside

(in reply to natasha66)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Help!!! - 11/22/2006 10:04:11 PM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		Relationships of any type require equal effort and dedication from both parties no matter what type. Even without knowing the true type of the OP relationship, a year and a half and then poof sounds an awful a lot to me as an unequal relationship and if you wanted to get back involved your eyes would have to be open and buyer beware.




_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to SirDarkside357)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Help!!! - 11/23/2006 5:55:51 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

Then suddenly, POOF, He was gone.  He called on my birthday out of the blue a few weeks ago.  I want to get involved with Him again, but I am scared.  Any suggestions would be appreciated!!!


Just say no. 


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to natasha66)
Profile   Post #: 20
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