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RE: Help!!! - 11/30/2006 10:28:28 AM

drawntothedark

Posts: 572
Joined: 10/19/2006
From: Arkansas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I just ditched a submissive *poof*er after a 3rd and final *poof*.
I am sick of the excuses, sick of pretty words, and sick of the mind fucks.
If someone wants to be a part of your life, they need to be a part of your life.
You are not a convenience, to be picked up and toyed with whenever in the mood.
You are a human being with feelings and deserve to be treated as such.
NO ONE should be treated like that, dominant or sub/slave.

*Raise glass*.........HERE HERE.....Well done!

(in reply to LaTigresse)

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Post #: 41

RE: Help!!! - 11/30/2006 1:22:09 PM

acctonthelook

Posts: 245
Joined: 3/28/2006
Status: offline

I would not take him back into my life period. There is a bond, respect, and tolerance can only go so far. Since he lacks the core eliment of respect then you have no bond. Without bond, trust, respect - why bother?

(in reply to natasha66)

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Post #: 42

RE: Help!!! - 11/30/2006 4:44:46 PM

desoutter

Posts: 91
Joined: 3/21/2005
Status: offline

How does that old saying go?
poof on me once... shame on you....
poof on me twice... shame on me...

something like that...
desoutter

_____________________________

When the going gets weird... the weird turn pro.

(in reply to natasha66)

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Post #: 43

RE: Help!!! - 11/30/2006 6:19:21 PM

AGORANTE

Posts: 30
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

I know this one. I saw it on the X-Files. Its called Spontaneous Human Combustion. People just go Poof!

(in reply to KatyLied)

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Post #: 44

RE: Help!!! - 11/30/2006 6:27:01 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: natasha66

We had a very intense Dom/sub relationship for over a year, and suddenly all communication ceased. I have YET to get a really sound explanation, but he keeps calling....I have seen him, but not for more than coffee. If I do resume this, and that is a BIG if, it will be on my terms....PERIOD.

Then is it a dom/sub relationship? I would feel as though the very structure of the D/s dynamic was utterly ruined if a dom had to crawl back to me under my terms... but that is just me.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to natasha66)

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Post #: 45

RE: Help!!! - 12/4/2006 7:34:19 AM

natasha66

Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: natasha66

We had a very intense Dom/sub relationship for over a year, and suddenly all communication ceased. I have YET to get a really sound explanation, but he keeps calling....I have seen him, but not for more than coffee. If I do resume this, and that is a BIG if, it will be on my terms....PERIOD.

Then is it a dom/sub relationship? I would feel as though the very structure of the D/s dynamic was utterly ruined if a dom had to crawl back to me under my terms... but that is just me.

I may be a sub, but this experience has taught me NOT to be a doormat. The trust has to be rebuilt, and I am NOT willing to let him walk all over me. PERIOD. I'm giving this a shot....if he blows it again, I'm done.

_____________________________

"If you bother me again I shall visit you in the small hours of the night and put a bat up your nightdress".
~Basil Fawlty

Collared June 4th, 2008
Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

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Post #: 46

RE: Help!!! - 12/4/2006 7:51:39 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: natasha66

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: natasha66

We had a very intense Dom/sub relationship for over a year, and suddenly all communication ceased. I have YET to get a really sound explanation, but he keeps calling....I have seen him, but not for more than coffee. If I do resume this, and that is a BIG if, it will be on my terms....PERIOD.

Then is it a dom/sub relationship? I would feel as though the very structure of the D/s dynamic was utterly ruined if a dom had to crawl back to me under my terms... but that is just me.

I may be a sub, but this experience has taught me NOT to be a doormat. The trust has to be rebuilt, and I am NOT willing to let him walk all over me. PERIOD. I'm giving this a shot....if he blows it again, I'm done.

I have to wholeheartedly agree with Julia here... if you are going to call the shots & get together with this guy on your terms & he has to follow the set guidelines you lay out for him then you well completely flip the dynamics of the relationship & there won't be a way in the world for it to flourish.

If you really identify as submissive then you need to find someone you can truly surrender to so that you can submit. If you are constantly having to run checks & balances against someone because of his inconsistency how the heck are you going to grow to depend on this person to guide you?

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MstrssPassion

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Post #: 47

RE: Help!!! - 1/9/2007 9:12:54 AM

natasha66

Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
Status: offline

UPDATE: i called it quits with him for good. Moving on.....

_____________________________

"If you bother me again I shall visit you in the small hours of the night and put a bat up your nightdress".
~Basil Fawlty

Collared June 4th, 2008
Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.

(in reply to natasha66)

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Post #: 48

RE: Help!!! - 1/9/2007 9:52:20 AM

corsetgirl

Posts: 824
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I just ditched a submissive *poof*er after a 3rd and final *poof*.
I am sick of the excuses, sick of pretty words, and sick of the mind fucks.
If someone wants to be a part of your life, they need to be a part of your life.
You are not a convenience, to be picked up and toyed with whenever in the mood.
You are a human being with feelings and deserve to be treated as such.
NO ONE should be treated like that, dominant or sub/slave.

What she said! My ex-husband would say, "either you are with me or you are not with me and if you are not with me, then get out." Those who pull disappearing acts would not be worth my time!

< Message edited by corsetgirl -- 1/9/2007 9:54:33 AM >

(in reply to LaTigresse)

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Post #: 49

RE: Help!!! - 1/9/2007 11:36:19 AM

desoutter

Posts: 91
Joined: 3/21/2005
Status: offline

get involved again!

If you dont mind his poofing from time to time... for no apparent reason.... or explanation....

poof on me once... shame on you
poof on me twice... shame on me...

desoutter

_____________________________

When the going gets weird... the weird turn pro.

(in reply to natasha66)

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Post #: 50

RE: Help!!! - 1/9/2007 12:46:22 PM

natasha66

Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
Status: offline

I heard this on the radio today...it seemed to fit LOL

I Will Survive Lyrics
by Gloria Gaynor

First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without you by my side
But I spent so many nights
thinking how you did me wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to carry on
and so you're back
from outer space
I just walked in to find you here
with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed my stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second
You'd be back to bother me
Well now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
you think I'd crumble
you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
as long as i know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive
It took all the strength I had
not to fall apart
kept trying hard to mend
the pieces of my broken heart
and I spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry
Now I hold my head up high
and you see me
somebody new
I'm not that chained up little person
still in love with you
and so you felt like dropping in
and just expect me to be free
now I'm saving all my loving
for someone who's loving me

_____________________________

"If you bother me again I shall visit you in the small hours of the night and put a bat up your nightdress".
~Basil Fawlty

Collared June 4th, 2008
Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.

(in reply to natasha66)

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Post #: 51

RE: Help!!! - 1/20/2007 2:35:33 PM

Totalmaster4you

Posts: 1359
Joined: 6/19/2006
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NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(in reply to KatyLied)

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Post #: 52

RE: Help!!! - 1/20/2007 3:44:59 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: natasha66

I was involved with a Master for a year and a half. Then suddenly, POOF, He was gone. He called on my birthday out of the blue a few weeks ago. I want to get involved with Him again, but I am scared. Any suggestions would be appreciated!!!

Sweetheart, you deserve a lot better treatment than that Master.
Move on.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to natasha66)

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Post #: 53

RE: Help!!! - 1/20/2007 5:20:55 PM

Miraculix

Posts: 37
Joined: 1/18/2007
From: Miami, FL, USA
Status: offline

* say "nay", and make sure that he/she understands the Constitution has to be ammended for the "poofer" to be allowed back...

_____________________________

I am only in search for that one girl who will be Mine.
In the meantime, I am simply walking through, leaving nothing but My footsteps in the sands of the beach, hearing as the ocean washes them away behind me...
Blessed Be.
Miraculix

(in reply to KatyLied)

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Post #: 54

RE: Help!!! - 1/21/2007 3:05:12 AM

ckattchaser

Posts: 3
Joined: 9/11/2006
From: catawba nc ,usa
Status: offline

what never was can't be lost

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if one never lets go of the past one will never have a future,for they have wasted the present for the illusion of what was or may have been...live today as well as one can ,friends......

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Post #: 55

RE: Help!!! - 6/30/2007 6:52:51 AM

natasha66

Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
Status: offline

I'm NOT going back to that hell.....

_____________________________

"If you bother me again I shall visit you in the small hours of the night and put a bat up your nightdress".
~Basil Fawlty

Collared June 4th, 2008
Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.

(in reply to ckattchaser)

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Post #: 56

RE: Help!!! - 6/30/2007 6:57:34 AM

kittensmailbox

Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline

i say walk away with class.... if you wanted to go back to him, you would have without posting here looking for help.. You know in your heart that would be a huge mistake to go back... Take pride in yourself and walk away...

< Message edited by kittensmailbox -- 6/30/2007 6:58:32 AM >

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~softly smiles

~lowers her eyes in respect~

~kitten

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Post #: 57

RE: Help!!! - 6/30/2007 7:18:00 AM

Domspaintoy

Posts: 158
Joined: 2/25/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: natasha66

We had a very intense Dom/sub relationship for over a year, and suddenly all communication ceased. I have YET to get a really sound explanation, but he keeps calling....I have seen him, but not for more than coffee. If I do resume this, and that is a BIG if, it will be on my terms....PERIOD.

Sounds to me like you have already made the decision that you will resume the relationship.

Did i miss the part where you answered a previous question from another poster about how long he 'poofed' for?

Could be something medical he was embarassed about? or worse if he only 'poofed' for a short period of time perhaps an STD or some such similar thing?

Just a thought anyway.

i hope you can trust him again and be happy in your decision.

dpt.

(in reply to natasha66)

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Post #: 58

RE: Help!!! - 6/30/2007 7:41:58 AM

CitizenCane

Posts: 349
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: raiken

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I have never had someone outright poof on me, it does seem like an internet thing to be honest. If it is he probably poofed because he was going to have to take it to the next level and he is married or something, that is the way internet relationships are. I would just remember this, if he is married and using you to live some sort of fantasy life over the internet, when you start to get too close again, he will poof again, that is the way I have seen these things play out with other people anyways.

On further thought....there are really those married folks who seriously are looking to fill a void or need in their life in real time. While not wanting to break from or hurt their sig other in the process. In that case, a poof may happen if the sig other found out...and the poof may be very instantaneous and without warning in some cases.

Unless discovery lead to being murdered by one's spouse, I can't see how it justifies simply disappearing. How hard is it to send an e-mail?

(in reply to raiken)

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Post #: 59

RE: Help!!! - 6/30/2007 11:11:49 AM

zindyslave

Posts: 601
Joined: 1/14/2007
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I am glad you finally left him for good. Didn't seem like a good idea to stay with him since he was a known poofer.

_____________________________

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Only when you see the invisible can you do the impossible.

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Post #: 60