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RE: Is this disrespect? - 12/24/2006 5:02:47 PM   
twistedwillow


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline 		Thanks for your reply KoM, i respect your opinion on a lot of subjects.
I do realise i have perhaps not explained as well as i could have.
I do respect that he feels the way he does, that isnt an issue. His feelings are valid, and very important to me, i just don't see how what i wrote was disrespectful.  ok, maybe in appropriate, as i said before it was written slightly cheekly, only because i was so happy to have things sorted with him.

twistedwillow


_____________________________

Jesus died to forgive our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them? —Jules Feiffer
Don't be fooled by the pretty words and sweet face.. sarcasm is the norm not the exception.



(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Is this disrespect? - 12/24/2006 5:07:20 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		AFter reading it , its probably the part about you putting your "very unsubbish foot down". Personally I think you meant it jokingly, but there are those who wouldn't see it as such. However as a Dominant, I wouldn't let other people tell me things about my sub, I'd make my own judgement call on that one.

It sounds like you and he need to talk.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to twistedwillow)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Is this disrespect? - 12/24/2006 5:10:30 PM   
MaryT


Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: twistedwillow
I'm also not asking for people to try and change my mind, i still don't feel i did anything wrong.  ALL i am asking for is if in your opinion it is disrespectful ...


Well, if I think it's not but he thinks it is ... I guess I don't understand what you want.  If he thinks you were disrespectful, why would you care a mouse's bum what I think about the situation?  Whom are you wanting to please here?

MaryT

(in reply to twistedwillow)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Is this disrespect? - 12/24/2006 5:11:14 PM   
PlayfulOne


Posts: 1047
Status: offline 		The answer was yes,  this whole post is even more disrespectful,  down inside you even know it,  thats why your getting so touchy.

Posting your issues here, or writing about them add length in your profile is disrespectful to you "other",  no matter whether it is the submissive or the dominant doing it.

K

(in reply to twistedwillow)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Is this disrespect? - 12/24/2006 5:14:46 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: twistedwillow

I do respect that he feels the way he does, that isnt an issue. His feelings are valid, and very important to me, i just don't see how what i wrote was disrespectful.  ok, maybe in appropriate, as i said before it was written slightly cheekly, only because i was so happy to have things sorted with him.



Because you fail to understand you don't agree with his opinion of your actions.   But, why do you need to understand in the first place?  It is irrelevent that you understand.... You state that His feelings are Valid.....  but your behaviors here show otherwise.  Talk is cheap.... behaviors demonstrated say more than words can ever say.  He felts disrespected... and instead of acting to correct the behaviors you choose to defend your behaviors.  Thus demonstrating that his feelings... as valid as they maybe come second to your own opinion of your own behaviors.  This last point to me begins to show a lack of respect that you have for him.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to twistedwillow)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Is this disrespect? - 12/24/2006 5:18:05 PM   
demistress


Posts: 391
Joined: 4/24/2006
From: Dela-where?
Status: offline 		Bottom line is you asked for people's opinions and then tried to debate them.  No one here misunderstood, and neither did your master.  IN MY OPINION you were disrespectful to him in your words, in the fact that you posted them WITHOUT ASKING him, and the fact that you now are arguing with the people who were courteous enough to reply to this narcissistic post.  You appear to be little more than an attention monger.

_____________________________

Mistress Heather
www.niteflirt.com/MizzSpice

Wether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right!

(in reply to PlayfulOne)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Is this disrespect? - 12/24/2006 5:19:22 PM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		Only scanned through the other replies, Personally I think that unless it has been discussed that putting out the details of the inside workings of the dirty laundry of the relationship is acceptable then you have violated the basic tennant of keeping his private life private. If he is in charge then making a new profile and including him in it is you willfully taking action that unless you have not mentioned it being in your negotiated permitted actions is willfull conduct that brings to light private details.

From my perspective you are willfully doing someething to punish him for his missdead. Not something I would permit.
There are plenty of reasons for not airing such things beyond embarrassment as well, it certainly invites poaching.
If you had freinds here who were concerned then privately tellinbg them what was up would be appropriate, broadcasting the internal problems and workings is not a one person decission. You made a decission for both of you. Is that in your authority to make decissions for him?

(in reply to PlayfulOne)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Is this disrespect? - 12/24/2006 5:19:36 PM   
jamesthehumanrug


Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline 		dear willow twist
listen I recall I was first initiated by a group of fantastic beautiful females top of the artist list but one that wanted to stay with me disappeared EVERY G D GOOD WEATHER DAY AND I HAD A HOUSE AND THE WOODS WAS A MINUTE AWAY AND I KNOW SHE WAS READY TO PHOTOGRAPH IN LEATHER AND EITHER IN THE WOODS DOING AN OUTDOOR OR ON THE BEACH CLIFFS OR SOME OTHER ISOALTED PLACE AND SHE WAS A DOM SO IT DROVE ME FREAKING NUTS;HOWEVER THE BEST THING TO DO WITH PERMISSION (cause im a bottom permission counts) is to do the same and be the same; you circulate ;don’t think I can't and will keep on ,till you are ready to settle for me or not.....,or they run....,and, the rest feel for you (pity ), cause ,you have a top looker ;the best and ,you didn’t know they circulate?!! ;oh poor you ;understand?; slick attracts slick ,not homebody couch potato attracts flash from Paris get me?
you got to stimulate to get a response; I had to find equal places good enough to take photos(hey this is great for a photoshoot type outdoor place), and ,dress deck, and, go alone once or twice, then.... take the other body there to go all the way
get me?; I found abandoned hangers; caves on the crashing rock ledges, with witch places and cave next to beach mansions made of mahogany,and monoliths under the full moon; sometimes i even had to run there ahead of time and paint something like landing pad signals on the hill top runway to look like it was ready for some ufo to land ,just for effect;no one knew of these romantic private places (it was like owning an island )and, generally speaking it seemed like no one found these remote places but us so ,if she wanted to take off she knew;fine; I was busy (easy)and she had to make the choice,(while picturing it in her mind) not feel like she'd be lucky to get away and laugh ,cause I didn’t expect it(and, all the tops know what some peoples' m's are doing;) ,so don’t be stupid;and mope;get on it ,asap

< Message edited by jamesthehumanrug -- 12/24/2006 5:35:26 PM >

_____________________________

I REMAIN RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED
,LOVEles,
jamesthehumanrug

(in reply to twistedwillow)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Is this disrespect? - 12/24/2006 5:19:58 PM   
nikaa


Posts: 357
Joined: 10/13/2004
Status: offline 		PlayfulOne,

I disagree with the idea that posting issues or questions here is disrespectful. Can people perceive it as such? Yes, and obviously YOU view it as such. However, that is simply your perception or opinion that is all it is. We can not control how others perceive things only how we put them out there.

If people did not post questions or issues on these forums what would be the purpose of the forums then?





_____________________________

Blessed Be,

Phoenix's Nika


The Cherokee legacy is that we are a people who face adversity, survive, adapt, prosper and excel.


Wakan Tankan Nici Un




(in reply to PlayfulOne)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Is this disrespect? - 12/24/2006 5:27:03 PM   
jadia


Posts: 13
Joined: 8/4/2004
Status: offline 		willow twist...I received some sage advice from a friend which I will gladly pass along.  Once you have invited the "public" into your private life, it is very difficult to "uninvite" them.  You brought this to a public list, asked for feedback, but reject the opinions that do not match with yours.  To me, it is enough that your Sir is displeased with your behavior, you don't need the court of public opinion to vindicate you.
jadia

(in reply to jamesthehumanrug)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Is this disrespect? - 12/24/2006 5:29:30 PM   
MstrssScarlet


Posts: 633
Joined: 6/3/2005
From: Indianapolis, Indiana
Status: offline 		Sorry but I don't think you were using your head on this one.  The relationship is/was already rocky and through negotiations you finally got things sorted out.  At this point it would seem the best thing to do is simply leave well enough alone.  Your post just stirred things up again.
On the other hand, there are some dominants out there who gauge how 'domly' they are by other's reactions.  If they are told that their submissive is disrespectful (even if she/he hasn't been), they suddenly start questioning themselves.  They lack the self confidence that a true dom should have.
All that being said, I have to agree with Lady Hugs.  I don't know either one of you and emails are notorious for NOT relaying someone's true intentions and/or emotions.  I wish you luck.  Sounds like you may need it hon.
Mistress Scarlet

_____________________________

"Say, that hurts a little bit" "And you don't like to be hurt do ya?" "I don't know...kinda fun sometimes if it's done in the right spirit."
Jean Harlow in The Beast of the City

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Is this disrespect? - 12/24/2006 5:29:46 PM   
carolsea


Posts: 185
Joined: 10/4/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		HUH???

lolol


quote:

ORIGINAL: jamesthehumanrug

dear willow twist
listen I recall I was first initiated by a group of fantastic beautiful females top of the artist list but one that wanted to stay with me disappeared EVERY G D GOOD WEATHER DAY AND I HAD A HOUSE AND THE WOODS WAS A MINUTE AWAY AND I KNOW SHE WAS READY TO PHOTOGRAPH IN LEATHER AND EITHER IN THE WOODS DOING AN OUTDOOR OR ON THE BEACH CLIFFS OR SOME OTHER ISOALTED PLACE AND SHE WAS A DOM SO IT DROVE ME FREAKING NUTS;HOWEVER THE BEST THING TO DO WITH PERMISSION (cause im a bottom permission counts) is to do the same and be the same; you circulate ;don’t think I can't and will keep on ,till you are ready to settle for me or not.....,or they run....,and, the rest feel for you (pity ), cause ,you have a top looker ;the best and ,you didn’t know they circulate?!! ;oh poor you ;understand?; slick attracts slick ,not homebody couch potato attracts flash from Paris get me?
you got to stimulate to get a response; I had to find equal places good enough to take photos(hey this is great for a photoshoot type outdoor place), and ,dress deck, and, go alone once or twice, then.... take the other body there to go all the way
get me?; I found abandoned hangers; caves on the crashing rock ledges, with witch places and cave next to beach mansions made of mahogany,and monoliths under the full moon; sometimes i even had to run there ahead of time and paint something like landing pad signals on the hill top runway to look like it was ready for some ufo to land ,just for effect;no one knew of these romantic private places (it was like owning an island )and, generally speaking it seemed like no one found these remote places but us so ,if she wanted to take off she knew;fine; I was busy (easy)and she had to make the choice,(while picturing it in her mind) not feel like shed be lucky to get away and laugh ,cause I didn’t expect it(and, all the tops know what some peoples m's are doing;) ,so don’t be stupid;and mope;get on it asap



_____________________________

I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant!

(in reply to jamesthehumanrug)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Is this disrespect? - 12/24/2006 5:31:45 PM   
MaryT


Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: carolsea

HUH???

lolol


Me too - couldn't follow him at all.

MaryT


(in reply to carolsea)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Is this disrespect? - 12/24/2006 5:32:49 PM   
PlayfulOne


Posts: 1047
Status: offline 		Nope,  I will always stand behind what I said, posting of your personal laundry on an open forum is disrespectful to the other party and an opn invitation for a train wreck, (and usually done by underlying motives more than anything else).

I would never disrespect my little one in by blabbering any issues we might have aross the forum,   I love her to death but if she did that she would be gone.

K

(in reply to nikaa)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Is this disrespect? - 12/24/2006 5:34:30 PM   
carolsea


Posts: 185
Joined: 10/4/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MaryT
quote:

ORIGINAL: carolsea
HUH???
lolol

Me too - couldn't follow him at all.
MaryT


It reads like some of those spam e-mails I gotten and been curious about what they say.  Punctuation might help, but it's doubtful.

_____________________________

I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant!

(in reply to MaryT)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Is this disrespect? - 12/24/2006 5:37:14 PM   
twistedwillow


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline 		Thankyou to everyone who has replied, those who agreed with me, those who didn't,  yes even those who attacked me.
I still don't see, and doubt that i ever will see, that what i wrote was disrespectful.

I am a very new submissive, He is\was my first Dom, we met off a bdsm site, but started out vanilla. I am still exploring "how" submissive i am, or to be honest if i'm even a submissive at all.  Perhaps if you knew the entire story your thoughts would be different, but that im not entitled to tell.
The original intention of the op, was simply to ask opinions on what i had written in regards to it being disrespectful or not.   With the knowledge that it wasn't intended to be disrespectful, cheeky yes, disrespectful no.
It's not a matter of who was right or wrong, what we should have, could have, would have.

Thats all from me on this,
i've been accused of being narcissistic and thats one thing i am not.
I hope everyone has a great christmas

twistedwillow


_____________________________

Jesus died to forgive our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them? —Jules Feiffer
Don't be fooled by the pretty words and sweet face.. sarcasm is the norm not the exception.



(in reply to nikaa)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Is this disrespect? - 12/24/2006 5:48:01 PM   
maybemaybenot


Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline 		TW:

While I did not find your updated profile disresectful, your former "Sir" did. And I think that is all that matters. I can be stubborn and head strong about things, but if something as non essential to my relationship as a profile was upsetting to my Dominant, it would be removed immediately, and an apology given, with lots of extra special treatment to try and take the sting out of it.

The part that has be scratching my head is: Your profile says you and he have broken up, yet he demanded you print an apology of sorts. . It *seems* that you quite easlily can write a retraction after the fact, for a former " Sir", but were not willing to do this same thing or correct the situation when you were together.  And I just don't get how an ex can " demand" anything of you.

                            mbmbn

_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

(in reply to carolsea)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Is this disrespect? - 12/24/2006 5:51:54 PM   
akbarbarian


Posts: 596
Joined: 12/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: twistedwillow
he won't do anything to risk losing me again.

This part, right here.  To me this speaks of control, and of "I sure taught him"
I think you sunk this relationship, but at the same time, having someone you have to cajole to get to stay in touch regularly isn't worth your time anyway.
Good luck in the future

_____________________________

Out and proud as a dominant male
United we stand!
Also:Not a service top!
Heretic of Gor

(in reply to twistedwillow)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Is this disrespect? - 12/24/2006 5:52:42 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I am confused.  Are you dedicating your profile to your ex?  That is strange indeed.  And why would you want to do that?  Why give power to someone who clearly doesn't want to have it?  I will never understand why subs do that sort of stuff.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to twistedwillow)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Is this disrespect? - 12/24/2006 6:00:18 PM   
twistedwillow


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline 		Yes we have broken up now, over other things, this was just one more bur, as for a retraction etc,  this only happened yesterday that he demanded an apology which i put up straight away, as weather we are together or not, the fact that he found it disrespectful ment that i needed to apologise to him.
I am very much in love with him, breaking up with him was the hardest thing i've ever had to do...  no we didn't break up because of our D\s relationship. I didn't mention that we had broken up, as it wasn't relevant to the original post on disrespect,  maybe i should have made it a generic post ..  aka  if you saw  'this' written in a subs profile would you find it disrespectful,  that is probably most definitely  my oversight. i shouldn't have made it personal, only generic.

twistedwillow

_____________________________

Jesus died to forgive our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them? —Jules Feiffer
Don't be fooled by the pretty words and sweet face.. sarcasm is the norm not the exception.



(in reply to maybemaybenot)
Profile   Post #: 40
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