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A question to stir things up - 1/10/2007 8:12:11 PM

SpinnerofTales

Posts: 1586
Joined: 5/30/2006
Status: offline

Here's a question just to spark discussion...aimed at all female slaves and subs:
Which would you find more damaging to your relationhip with a Dom...to come home and find him having sex with a submissive man or a dominant woman?

(The reason I don't ask men is that we ALL want to see two women making it so it would be a whole different set of responses)

Post #: 1

RE: A question to stir things up - 1/10/2007 8:14:12 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

it would be the exact same for me, i would feel betrayed no matter what.

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to SpinnerofTales)

Post #: 2

RE: A question to stir things up - 1/10/2007 8:17:52 PM

subsnow

Posts: 152
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline

i had to sit and think about this for a minute. It didn't take me long to decide that i would be more hurt to find Him having sex with a Dominant female. That would mean to me that everything about Him was a lie unless He had already told me that He was a switch.

(in reply to SpinnerofTales)

Post #: 3

RE: A question to stir things up - 1/10/2007 8:18:43 PM

Zsuzsanna

Posts: 108
Joined: 12/17/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SpinnerofTales

Here's a question just to spark discussion...aimed at all female slaves and subs:
Which would you find more damaging to your relationhip with a Dom...to come home and find him having sex with a submissive man or a dominant woman?

(The reason I don't ask men is that we ALL want to see two women making it so it would be a whole different set of responses)

Both would suck, but if I HAD to choose, I think I would be less upset if he was getting it on with a Domme. Then at least They could both play with me. :)

_____________________________

"Somewhere Ralphie smiles and says enjoy her every cry." Tori Amos

(in reply to SpinnerofTales)

Post #: 4

RE: A question to stir things up - 1/10/2007 8:19:59 PM

subsnow

Posts: 152
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline

In RL it wouldn't matter to me either because i wouldn't be able to get past the fact that He was sleeping with another woman. Maybe as a Dom He has that right. i don't know. Even so, i would expect Him to tell me since communication is so important. Anything kept secret implies something is wrong about it. Since it isn't RL i am able to step back and make a decision about it though.

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Post #: 5

RE: A question to stir things up - 1/10/2007 8:20:28 PM

ardelle

Posts: 63
Status: offline

greetings

neither. If that is what he wishes to do; it is not my place to tell him he can not

_____________________________

i wish you well

josie

(in reply to SpinnerofTales)

Post #: 6

RE: A question to stir things up - 1/10/2007 8:21:38 PM

losttreasure

Posts: 875
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

it would be the exact same for me, i would feel betrayed no matter what.

My response as well.

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Post #: 7

RE: A question to stir things up - 1/10/2007 8:22:32 PM

maybemaybenot

Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline

Since monogamy would be the foundation of my relationship both scenarios would cause me to walk, so it's a U-Pic-Em, for me.

mbmbn

_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

(in reply to Zsuzsanna)

Post #: 8

RE: A question to stir things up - 1/10/2007 8:22:42 PM

Quivver

Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

No question about it. The Domme Female wouldnt be an issue, a male sub would leave my jaw on the ground.

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to Zsuzsanna)

Post #: 9

RE: A question to stir things up - 1/10/2007 8:24:09 PM

kittensmailbox

Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline

as long as he was honest about it, it his choice, not mine... After all, he is the Master.... right?

_____________________________

~softly smiles

~lowers her eyes in respect~

~kitten

(in reply to losttreasure)

Post #: 10

RE: A question to stir things up - 1/10/2007 8:30:32 PM

najiyyah

Posts: 3
Status: offline

i would have to beg to be allowed to join

~smiles~

_____________________________

Stay safe and best wishes

jessica

(in reply to SpinnerofTales)

Post #: 11

RE: A question to stir things up - 1/10/2007 8:32:02 PM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

as long as he was honest about it and had discussed it with me beforehand or immediately afterward (with the knowledge that i would be disappointed if we had not discussed it before as he's always maintained that he wants me to be with other people sexually and emotionally but only wants to be with me, except in the context of a threesome/triad), then i would be fine with it. if i found out he had been dishonest, then i would be extremely upset either way - i don't think the sex or dominant/submissive orientation of the other person would really make a difference.

(in reply to kittensmailbox)

Post #: 12

RE: A question to stir things up - 1/10/2007 8:34:29 PM

losttreasure

Posts: 875
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ardelle

greetings

neither. If that is what he wishes to do; it is not my place to tell him he can not

I understand the position you take in this, but for me, it would unravel the very fabric of our relationship...

First, because our relationship is monogamous; if he wishes to change that arrangement, I would expect the opportunity to accept that choice before the fact.

More importantly, our relationship is based on truthful knowledge of each other. As he has shown himself to be a heterosexual dominant to me, to find him with either of those choices would indicate a deception.

(in reply to ardelle)

Post #: 13

RE: A question to stir things up - 1/10/2007 8:37:23 PM

ardelle

Posts: 63
Status: offline

greetings losttreasure

i meant no disrespect by my answer and apologize if it came across in that way. i understand fully that everyone has their own basis for relationships and that works for me, does not work for others.

_____________________________

i wish you well

josie

(in reply to losttreasure)

Post #: 14

RE: A question to stir things up - 1/10/2007 8:47:30 PM

losttreasure

Posts: 875
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ardelle

greetings losttreasure

i meant no disrespect by my answer and apologize if it came across in that way. i understand fully that everyone has their own basis for relationships and that works for me, does not work for others.

No disrespect perceived at all, ardelle. And I didn't intend for it to appear as if your values were invalid, either. I fully respect that your relationship works the way it does.

(in reply to ardelle)

Post #: 15

RE: A question to stir things up - 1/10/2007 9:05:51 PM

innatedesire

Posts: 111
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline

good question.........i would feel devastated , it would totally shatter the foundation in which our dynamic was built upon trust. it would not be the act itself, it would not be the gender, its not Dom/sub.........i can not serve someone i do not trust..............if that is what he wanted to do just let me know, i may not like it and i would have to work through it, but tell me!! Don't turn my world upside down, rip my heart out and stomp on it, that is a hard limit for me..............

(in reply to SpinnerofTales)

Post #: 16

RE: A question to stir things up - 1/10/2007 9:13:12 PM

xkittenishx

Posts: 38
Joined: 7/20/2006
Status: offline

Putting aside the feelings of betrayal at having come home to find her Dominant in bed with another person, this girl would find it more damaging by far if it was a Dominant female instead of a submissive male. At least if it were a male she could rationalize the Dominant wanting to have fun with bits that she doesn't possess - if it were a Dominant female, this girl would have the issue of it being another woman and a Dominant on top of that and that would add much more to the sting of things.

(in reply to innatedesire)

Post #: 17

RE: A question to stir things up - 1/10/2007 9:14:51 PM

Elegant

Posts: 1024
Joined: 3/15/2005
Status: offline

As long as he is having protected sex that there is no damage at all.

_____________________________

Elegant
~Slave To Master Archer

http://www.FantasiesInLeather.com

(in reply to innatedesire)

Post #: 18

RE: A question to stir things up - 1/10/2007 9:16:01 PM

desertdancer

Posts: 1095
Joined: 5/12/2006
Status: offline

As we're a married couple I would have to say both would destroy me. i'd be broken if it were a male or female, Dom or sub, it wouldn't matter, both would be equally heart breaking. I do realize that many married couples allow for extra umm playmates, ours does not. So yeah, it would be bad Bad BAD either way

~dancer

_____________________________

* Shimmy Shimmy *

(in reply to innatedesire)

Post #: 19

RE: A question to stir things up - 1/10/2007 9:43:17 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

Both would be deal breakers for me.....

But the submissive man would squick me more than a dominant woman.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to SpinnerofTales)

Post #: 20

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