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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/17/2007 9:12:21 AM   
LordVelvet


Posts: 311
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline 		I think Knight said it perfectly

(in reply to KnightofMists)
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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/17/2007 10:21:11 AM   
WorldofSilence


Posts: 114
Joined: 6/14/2006
Status: offline 		I agree, knight said it perfectly.

My emotions are a part of Me and makes Me who I am, I don't let My emotions control Me but I pay attention to them because if you deny them, they have a horrible habit of coming back and biting you.

Don't deny them but allow them to surface and learn from it, is what I say :) ........ but knight still said it better :D

WoS


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(in reply to LordVelvet)
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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/17/2007 10:27:35 AM   
kittensmailbox


Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: OnlyHis

I think it is a wonderful thing for Master or any man for that matter to be able to show their emotions. It shows how human they really are. I have more respect for anyone who can show their emotions then those that hide them for fear of showing " weakness".  It is no kind of weakness to show feelings.


To me the inability to manage and control emotions is a weakness...

Unfortunately.. many equate to managing and controlling emotions as not showing them.

I personally equate the inability to showing emotions as the inability to manage and control them.... therefore a weakness.

It takes strength to show emotions and control them.. rather than let them control you... be it Love.. Anger.. or Saddness etc.


i AGREE 100% the showing of emotion is a weakness, for male or female and it should be controled

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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/17/2007 10:50:19 AM   
heartfeltsub


Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline 		Kitten, that isn't quite what Knight said. He said
quote:


It takes strength to show emotions and control them.. rather than let them control you...


He was not advocating not showing emotions, rather He was advocating not being controlled by one's emotions.

(in reply to kittensmailbox)
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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/17/2007 11:10:53 AM   
kittensmailbox


Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline 		well i still think that showing of emotion is a huge weakness.... Emotions need to be control... Unless of course for death....

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~softly smiles

~lowers her eyes in respect~

~kitten

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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/17/2007 11:13:25 AM   
WorldofSilence


Posts: 114
Joined: 6/14/2006
Status: offline 		*fast reply*

Different people I suppose :)

Emotion gives Me great strength and empowers Me in events that need that extra bit of "punch" so to speak, it's something taught in some martial arts and heck if it works for them I'll give it go ;)

WoS


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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/17/2007 11:20:31 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittensmailbox

well i still think that showing of emotion is a huge weakness.... Emotions need to be control... Unless of course for death....


I disagree and then agree. I would never in a million years say showing emotion is a weakness. It is as KoM said, how we conduct ourselves during that emotional time that is the measure of the person.

Being mad as hell is one thing, putting one's fist through the wall because they are mad is another.

Being sad that a relationship went sour is normal, going on a three day drinking/drug binge to cope with it is another.

Being estatically happy you finally found a job is wonderful, maxing out all your credit cards in celebration is another.


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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/17/2007 11:23:35 AM   
kittensmailbox


Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline 		i truly respect how other ppl feel...  please understand that i was trained differantly....

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~softly smiles

~lowers her eyes in respect~

~kitten

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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/17/2007 11:33:47 AM   
LordVelvet


Posts: 311
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline 		kitten it sounds like you were trained to be emotionless, which is fine, but that is still acting on an emotion. just because you choose to ignore them doesn't mean they aren't there. you are controling yours just in a different way but the concept still applies.

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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/17/2007 11:51:14 AM   
agirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittensmailbox

well i still think that showing of emotion is a huge weakness.... Emotions need to be control... Unless of course for death....


Do you think that death is the ultimate *pain* and therefore the only acceptable situation to show emotion?

agirl

agirl







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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/17/2007 12:12:16 PM   
gentlethistle


Posts: 186
Joined: 10/28/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass

If you are a sub, how do you feel or what do you think if/when your dominant shows his/her emotions (cries, for example?) Or shows a softer, more vulnerable side?

Do you prefer a dom who has a hard exterior and never "cracks"?



I would absolutely prefer him to be honest with me.  If he is in pain, emotional or physical I want to know.  I don't want a pretence when life is difficult, because then I may make things harder by not being as supportive as I can, or leaning too hard on him with my own angst when he has stuff to deal with.

Maybe in some sort of fantasy la la land there are dominants so rough and tough and dependable that they can always be relied on in every moment to be strong and consistent and decisive...but living on this planet I only expect to encounter real people with real weaknesses and failings.  Admitting to them when they arise is more of a plus than a minus in my view.

Laura

P.S.  Actually, I think that the only times I've seen a man crying it's been pretty terrifying, because it's been a member of my family and it's been those deep, wracking sobs...but that doesn't mean I'd want someone to hold that in and not weep if weeping was how they felt...

< Message edited by gentlethistle -- 1/17/2007 12:21:58 PM >

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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/17/2007 1:49:49 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		It is hard for me to imagine. To never smile or laugh, to never cry. May as well be dead.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to kittensmailbox)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/17/2007 2:07:41 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		I'd prefer a Dominant that was honest and human, not someone that figured they needed to put on a show all the time. Not to say I'm really big on the new supposed sensitive males that cry alot and stuff but if your having a bad day or stressed, or need a hug I'd rather them be honest about it rather then be all blustery and ignorant because they wont admit that they need help sometimes too.

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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/17/2007 4:30:23 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kittensmailbox

i AGREE 100% the showing of emotion is a weakness, for male or female and it should be controled


Controlling emotions doesn't equate to NOT showing emotions.

Suppressing emotions equate to Not showing emotions.

One demonstrates Emotional Intelligence.

The other demonstrates Emotional Dysfunction.

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/17/2007 4:44:07 PM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		It’s not good to imagine you are a character in a 1940s movie all the time. You have to be the vulnerable, mumbling, puzzled, modern protagonist, now and then, because it's what we all really are.

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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/17/2007 5:00:09 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		 ~ fast reply ~

I believe that people, regardless of orientation, are human first and foremost.  We come equipped with all the human traits, including feelings, emotions, and everything else.  If I am involved with someone who cannot show their emotions, it unsettles me.  I prefer that people show what they are feeling, I respect that.  I am a very emotional person, I wear my heart on my sleeve.  I have seen people who thought that keeping everything inside showed great strength, and to me, it made them seem unapproachable, I just couldn't relate to them.  I have seen great people show their "weaknesses" in front of me and I only had the utmost respect for them for being so honest.

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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/17/2007 5:55:20 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

I do not think showing emotion makes a dominant weak. I would rather be with someone who acts like a human being and shows feeling and emotion when appropriate. Someone that is very rigid and does not show much in the way of emotion I cannot relate to very much. It is a big turn off to me.


I have seen people angry as hell fighting for their lives.  I have seen them sobbing inconsolably while fighting for their lives.  I have seen them laughing psychotically while fighting for their lives.

Emotions happen.  It is what a person does with them that matters.

Sinergy

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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/17/2007 6:04:02 PM   
BabyNyla


Posts: 578
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline
I think one of the most incredible moments I've had with my Dom was after an evening where some events took place and he ended up crying.  I was shocked ... he's a big, bad military boy and he hardly ever shows emotions.  To witness this and to know what he was thinking made me more in touch with him and I knew that I would marry him ... which I did a month later.  Since then I have only seen him cry one other time, when he sent me a DVD from Iraq and he was dealing with the reality of not having me there to care for him and love him.  Again, this only reinforced my feelings for him ... and I wouldn't change those two experiences for the world ... and they would never make me lose respect for him ... if anything, I want to please him even more.


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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/17/2007 6:13:58 PM   
strictblkdomnj


Posts: 13
Joined: 1/6/2005
Status: offline 		It is ludicrous to think a Dominant showing his emotions is also showing weakness.

We are human.  We laugh, we cry, we get angry, we feel euphoric, love, hate and much more.  Showing emotions does nothing more than show our humanity.  Do submissives want a robot with no emotional input at all, or do you seek one who can be passionate about something, as passionate as you are about submission?

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/17/2007 9:44:07 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		I cried my heart out watching "Pride and Prejudice", my eyes tear up anytime I hear "Taps" played and will continue to do so.


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Profile   Post #: 60
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