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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/18/2007 1:42:20 AM   
slavegirl1969


Posts: 69
Joined: 9/26/2006
Status: offline 		I agree with yieldingcontrol.  Whether in strict mode or snuggly mode my Master is dominant. He's human and I love him for it

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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/18/2007 7:06:46 PM   
NightWindWhisper


Posts: 143
Joined: 5/28/2006
Status: offline 		In my humble opinion it is good if a dominant shows his feelings.  However he should never, ever "crack" during a d/s interaction, and would be best to limit any "crying" to less than one per year.  Ok.....I'm harsh....

(in reply to OnlyHis)
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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/18/2007 7:21:20 PM   
DominaSmartass


Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NightWindWhisper

In my humble opinion it is good if a dominant shows his feelings.  However he should never, ever "crack" during a d/s interaction, and would be best to limit any "crying" to less than one per year.  Ok.....I'm harsh....


I'm just curious if you opinion changes or remains the same if the dominant is a woman? A lot of people answered this thread from the dominant male/submissive female POV. I don't know everyone's gender but I don't actually think I've seen a submissive male post on this. One thing that irks me is that dominant men who have more of the "daddy" or "gentle" personality are still taken seriously but it seems that if a dominant woman is not a cold, hard, cruel, bitch who basically won't give you the time of day unless she wants something from you, then she doesn't give off an air of dominance. I'm obviously grappling with some other issues here ;) But seriously, the women who I see in the community who are "respected" seem oftentimes to have nothing more going for them than their "the world revolves around me" attitudes. Yet people ooh and ahh over how dominant they are.



< Message edited by DominaSmartass -- 1/18/2007 7:23:15 PM >

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(in reply to NightWindWhisper)
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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/19/2007 2:04:22 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NightWindWhisper

In my humble opinion it is good if a dominant shows his feelings.  However he should never, ever "crack" during a d/s interaction, and would be best to limit any "crying" to less than one per year.  Ok.....I'm harsh....


 If that's *harsh*, then I'm subject to that in the extreme.  I've never seen my Master come remotely close to crying. Ever.  Maybe seen a smidgeon of jealousy.... perhaps cross, occasionally angry; certainly smiley......that's it.

Vulneraberility and weakness?...... No.

In reply to the OP.... I've never thought that my Master had a particularly *hard exterior* or one that never *cracks* ..but he's never appeared soft, vulnerable or weak, either. I don't see anything contrived about it.... that's simply how it is. Maybe he DOES have moments of weakness and vulnerability, if so, I've never been privy to those....nor would it be helpful, for either of us, if I was..........And it would be highly unlikely that I'd belong to him if that was the case....and equally so, if I was as controlled as he.

I don't encompass all aspects of his personality........ I certainly haven't nurtured him, nor could I.

SirDiscipliner says ...*No-one wants the real deal*....Of course that's a generalisation..... because the *real deal* is going to vary from person to person.

He doesn't have to show or share his *emotions* with me, in any particular way, for me to know that he's a caring, compassionate and understanding man.

It's got nothing to do with being *right* or being *hard* or *real* or*honest*. or *flawed*....everyone has different ways of handling and expressing their emotions, and where. Weaknesses and vulnerabilities are different.

agirl

















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Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/19/2007 8:01:10 PM   
AcademyForSlaves


Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline 		We have experienced this too. We have an article we give slaves in training about how a slave should behave in a fight or argument. So many slaves commented about the part where it mentions that the Mistress might at a point cry and how he should react. They all acted shocked that a Domme might cry at some point in Her life.

That's right guys we Dommes are HUMAN as shocking as that might be. It's not a sign of weakness. It means we're FEMALE and we sometimes need to cry to grieve, vent, or rid of stress (whereas you slaves have a fit, tantrum, or storm off when you don't get what you want).

Now about anger. If a Domme gets angry She's either thought of as weak or She's not Domme enough unless She does get angry (so a slave attempts to make Her angry to see Her get aggressive.)

Ladies, be yourself and if he can't take it, lose the guy.

< Message edited by AcademyForSlaves -- 1/19/2007 8:06:15 PM >

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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/19/2007 11:38:20 PM   
akbarbarian


Posts: 596
Joined: 12/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kittensmailbox

well i still think that showing of emotion is a huge weakness.... Emotions need to be control... Unless of course for death....

I realize you were trained this way once, but not all training is equally wise.  It might be worth your while to decide whether a lack of affect is harmful to you and those around you.  Suppressing feelings tends to make them come out in other areas anyhow.  Such as your whole world burning down doesn't bother you much, but dropping eggs on the floor makes you ready to cry and scream.  Good luck, and be safe. 

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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/20/2007 12:00:30 AM   
ElectraGlide


Posts: 1246
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		Showing your emotions such as laughing or smiling is a sign of self confidence. It is true honesty and there is nothing wrong with that. No you do not want to cry about everything, but every know and then it does happen and that is true honesty also. Being nice to people is not a sign of weakness, it is the heart and soul of you expressing kind thoughts and acts to others. How can you ever connect with anyone if you display a stern poker face with no emotions one way or the other to anybody. Even the nasty attitude people at least let you know where  you stand with them even tough you might not like it. The no emotion people are the first you suspect as a ticking time bomb ready to go postal on some one. I have never been a traditonal 24/7 Dom for the record, just a mostly vanilla guy that likes to be a Dom in S and M play. I was raised to be self reliant and I do live by a self code of honesty and discipline even if I feel like smiling or laughing lol......

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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/20/2007 2:23:48 AM   
obis


Posts: 412
Joined: 9/9/2005
From: Austin, TX, USA
Status: offline 		One of the best 24/7 relationships of my life was damaged a great deal by me trying too hard to be "in control" and unemotional all the time. When some issues came to a head and I broke down crying in her arms, our levels of trust grew tremendously. Seeing that i was human and could love and hurt intensely made her respect and care for me more. Knowing that I could rely on her to love me even when I wasn't totally in control of my life was a huge burden lifted from my shoulders. We both feared the other would view the violation of strict roles as weakness and lose respect, but it was quite the opposite. That was one of the most important life lessons for both of us -- honesty and sincerity are far more important than fulfilling a role. If you truly are dominant or submissive, you will be so no matter how powerful or weak you are in private moments when you're with a partner. Trust them to know and recognize that.

(in reply to ElectraGlide)
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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/20/2007 2:33:14 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		greetings

i do not understand why a submissiive or slave would not want to see the true side of this mistrss or master. it would be unreal to think we do not have emotions or feel angry or hurt or cry this is something that is so important anyone who is a dominant and has not feelings is a dangerous soicpath. and if a submissive wants this then stay away from this dominant woman i cry and get angry and feel pain i am human and i am a great domme i like a man who can handle this and i have found him if he behaves charles <<<<<< no i had on male who did not like when i show my emotions i let him go. i watch criminal minds the other night and i saw something that scare me silly a sexual sadist who had not feelings at all he could kill just to do it and must of the show are based on true things it scare to think someone is roaming around and loves to hurt beyond the normal reaml of things that is why showing emotionals is important lord do not fall into the hand of a nut and no i am not speak to the sadist here

mons

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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/20/2007 5:45:10 AM   
bearincuffs


Posts: 1904
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline 		In my opinion, irregardless if one's Master/Dom is male or female, the ability to show emotions is never a sign of weakness. In fact, I believe this more of an asset for the Master which in turn is an asset for the sub/slave. From my own experience, having Master show emotions to me has only strengthened O/our bond between U/us. If my Master was cold and unemotional, i definitely would have slipped my collar and ran in the other direction! Thankfully this is not the case and do feel Proud knowing my Master is not a robot without feelings and does cherish and cares for His property, His expressing emotions only draws me closer and binds me more to Master.
   My belief is that a Master or Dom has strength in being able to express emotions when emotions are warranted, the inability to do this just indicates a weakness from not knowing anything about thenself and thus unable to know their slave/sub as well as they should. Especially when their slave/sub has empathic tendancies!  (guilty  lol).

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An it harm none, do as thou wilt
Do what you will, so long as it harms none
An it harm none, do what thou will
That it harm none, do as thou wilt
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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/20/2007 6:10:55 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bearincuffs

In my opinion, irregardless if one's Master/Dom is male or female, the ability to show emotions is never a sign of weakness. In fact, I believe this more of an asset for the Master which in turn is an asset for the sub/slave. From my own experience, having Master show emotions to me has only strengthened O/our bond between U/us. If my Master was cold and unemotional, i definitely would have slipped my collar and ran in the other direction! Thankfully this is not the case and do feel Proud knowing my Master is not a robot without feelings and does cherish and cares for His property, His expressing emotions only draws me closer and binds me more to Master.
   My belief is that a Master or Dom has strength in being able to express emotions when emotions are warranted, the inability to do this just indicates a weakness from not knowing anything about thenself and thus unable to know their slave/sub as well as they should. Especially when their slave/sub has empathic tendancies!  (guilty  lol).


Thank you for saying that bear, I agree. I actually have great respect and see great strength in someone that is comfortable with their emotions and expressing them in a mature responsible manner. Someone that appears emotionless only worries me. To me it is unhealthy, I just envision a volcano waiting to errupt.

I wonder if the sub/slaves that prefer someone that appears without emotion were badly abused by someone that was not in control of their emotions and dealt with them in a destructive way rather than positive.


_____________________________

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/20/2007 6:21:44 AM   
Caitriona


Posts: 327
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline 		I am grateful that My Lord can share his emotions with me - after all, we are both human, regardless of our dynamic roles.  If he were emotionless I think it would bother me very much and I would start to doubt his ability to care for me since I would feel he wasn't taking care of himself as well.  I'm not asking for the level of transparency that is expected of me, rather that when an emotion is strong that it is shared so that I can help him in any way possible.

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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/20/2007 6:35:33 AM   
LycanHorde


Posts: 12
Joined: 12/22/2006
Status: offline 		Actually, I show more emotion the closer I am to a person - a slave would see all, a friend see much, a stranger little and an opponent  none.
That said I don't whine, complain, do the self pity thing, etc..., with anyone - not because I'm afraid to display such emotions but because I don't indulge in them.

(in reply to OnlyHis)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/20/2007 8:18:35 AM   
MissyRane


Posts: 1032
Joined: 5/11/2005
Status: offline 		It takes strength to show emotions so it's definitely not a weakness being able to show emotions

< Message edited by MissyRane -- 1/20/2007 8:19:21 AM >

(in reply to LycanHorde)
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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/20/2007 8:37:11 AM   
RandomGAGirl


Posts: 57
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		I would feel proud that my Dom is comfortable enough around me to let his emotions show.  How many people in this lifestyle or in vanilla settings hide their feelings because they don't want to appear 'weak' in front of strangers?  I just think it is a sign that they know the one they are with understands them.

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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/20/2007 8:43:29 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I am human, and I show emotions.  I see no reason to hide them from Angel.  I prefer to have the confidence to lean on him if I need to when I am being emotional. He apreciates the honesty and understands his role.
To think that a Dom should hide how he feels is ridiclous, unless you are not interested in being with a person and just having someone play a role.  Once a deeper bond is formed, those emotions are necessary for the health and well being of a relationship.

DV

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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/20/2007 8:47:09 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LycanHorde

Actually, I show more emotion the closer I am to a person -...


This line of thought is similiar for me....  but more would indicate select emotions will get shown to someone closer as compared to one not so close.

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/20/2007 11:33:44 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		Where would you all be without my guidance...We all have moments of weakness and all have our frailities...for those of you who can't understand that better go puchase your Dombot 400XR (with self lubricating anal probe and features new and improved 12 speed flogging action...oops different post)

The majority of Men/Doms have reitterated this point already....I can't imagine that my sub would be distressed that I would shed a tear after watching a "very special" episode of Blossom.

out.

D.G.

p.s. Jesus please protect me from your followers.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/20/2007 11:40:40 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: LycanHorde

Actually, I show more emotion the closer I am to a person -...


This line of thought is similiar for me.... but more would indicate select emotions will get shown to someone closer as compared to one not so close.


Often we show certain emotions not so much because we actively select or chose to but because of things in our past. These events set up safety nets inside of us or walls in us that we unconsciously use to protect ourselves.

I see it like tickling for me.

I am ticklist but only when I really trust someone and feel relaxed around them. I even know why I'm this way and "why" happens to have protected me for many many years of my childhood and just carried over. It isn't conscious and frankly it isn't anything I think requires "fixes" -- but my being ticklist can be a good gauge of how much I trust someone and how relaxed I feel.

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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/24/2007 4:06:16 AM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wildfleurs
I do appreciate seeing my owners underbelly so to speak, but I definitely had to earn that privilege over quite a bit of time.  , but I do get to see it occasionally and definitely treasure those moments.


It is nice that you are aware that when you do see the inner circle that it is something special...but many do not wish to see that as they have a preconception of how things should be regardless of reality.

Seems some have a serious problem both on dom and sub side seperating reality and often buy into their own fantasies.

Never believe in your own press releases.

For your contribution you get your prize [ insert pic here ] http://www.mjtbooks.com/harlequins/h016.jpg

Ross

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