RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerability

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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/24/2007 4:10:30 AM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez
I think it is a strong positive that my Master will free enough to show these emotions then trying to bottle them up because he wants to act dominant or thinks it is just manly.

It is My perception that one that feels confident enough in themselves do no care what others might think.

To show vunerability is a sign of strength.

Inner awareness is a thing of beauty.

For your contribution you get a prize [ insert pic here] http://www.mjtbooks.com/harlequins/h015.jpg

Ross

(in reply to toservez)

Post #: 81

RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/24/2007 4:14:29 AM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass
I run into this a lot too. They don't seem to want me to be an actual person, but some emotionaless robot that barks orders and gives them tasks.

I have often inquired at the begining of an interview of a sub if she prefered the boot camp or the more specifically tailored training sessions.

Most opted for the latter.

Some secretly wished for the former.

For your contribution here is your prize [ insert pic here]
http://www.jeffbots.com/magnus17.jpg

http://www.jeffbots.com/morethanweseem.jpg

Ross

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

Post #: 82

RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/24/2007 4:17:41 AM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

I do not think showing emotion makes a dominant weak. I would rather be with someone who acts like a human being and shows feeling and emotion when appropriate.

But how does that weekness interfere with your image of a dominant?

To see the kink in the armour of a dominant would make him vunerable to exposing his authority wouldn't it?

For your contribution here is your prize [insert pic here] http://www.jeffbots.com/magnus4.jpg

Ross

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 83

RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/24/2007 4:21:57 AM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sirandlittle1
People who could loosely be termed, 'permanently needy' annoy the crap out of me, the suck the lifeforce from me, and not something i enjoy encountering. We all fall down occasionally, that's cool, but i only befriend the type that gets back up!

But one might avoid that personality type by properly screening potential candidates before any possible sessions correct?

Just because one might possess the body of a pin up might not have the mind of an Einstein correct nor the empathatic nature that one might hope for in associates right?

For your contribution you get a prize [insert pic here] http://www.mjtbooks.com/harlequins/h023.jpg

Ross

(in reply to Sirandlittle1)

Post #: 84

RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/24/2007 4:23:40 AM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

"I've got things to do/You have too/And I've got to be me, you've got to be you."

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to OnlyHis)

Post #: 85

RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/24/2007 4:25:53 AM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gypsygrlIf I'm bound, or otherwise indisposed, my safe words, any limits I've established are pretty useless and I can't effectly protect myself. When ya get right down to it I'm relying on his self-restraint to keep me safe from harm. My thinking is that such self-restraint is grounded either in self-interest and the fear of whatever consequences that may occur or a sense of mercy/pity/humaneness, both of which are rooted in some kind of emotional vulnerability. If a Dominant wasn't able to feel emotion, and was 'strong' all the time, I don't think I would be able to allow myself to be vulnernable in his presence. It would be way too scary.

you make perfect sense and you have good insight.

Sometimes I need to protect subs from themselves.

The thing they find scarey about Me initially is the ability to not only lay it out on the table but to carry out it...so walking the walk as well as talking the talk.

To be able to show the tender after the strict is an art of inner awareness.

Not all are confident enough to do so.

Not all can come to terms with themselves be it dom or sub.

For your contribution here is your prize [insert pic here]
http://www.mjtbooks.com/harlequins/h028.jpg

Ross

(in reply to gypsygrl)

Post #: 86

RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/24/2007 4:33:19 AM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OnlyHis
I have more respect for anyone who can show their emotions then those that hide them for fear of showing " weakness". It is no kind of weakness to show feelings.

I can relate to this very much.

I had a submissive that told Me after the session she was afraid to tell Me she was raped brutally by knife point because she thought I would not respect her.

This was after a session where she had claimed previously she had no limits.

Well thru the course of play the session broke her down.

We stopped and talked.

I told her I had more respect for her for telling Me than if she kept it back inside her as it was her show of strength.

In play many things within the mind are discovered...one must tred lightly and with overt care.

Some doms do things because they do NOT respect the submissive and wish to hurt.

I respect yet will hurt physically within limits but will never intentionally hurt emotionally.

Sometimes emotions come to the surface for a submissive and all the memories make it difficult to recover.

Gradually like a mud puddle that has been stirred up with a stick the sediments slowly settle and things become a bit cleared.

Not easy to go thru but one does make it.

For your contribution here is your prize [insert pic here] http://www.mjtbooks.com/harlequins/h019.jpg

Ross

(in reply to OnlyHis)

Post #: 87

RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/24/2007 4:45:47 AM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub
i have to respectfully but completely disagree with you. Not everyone wants the perpetual ideal Dom fantasy, some of us want relationships with real people that grow anddevelop over time.

Would you agree that not all people one might meet are really worthy and trustworthy to be brought within the inner circle?

Have you ever met someone that did not get their way and then became a liability such as showing up at work or stalking you?

Yes it happens to dominants also.

For your contribution you get a prize [insert pic here] http://www.mjtbooks.com/harlequins/h022.jpg

http://www.mjtbooks.com/harlequins/h026.jpg

Ross

(in reply to heartfeltsub)

Post #: 88

RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/24/2007 4:47:15 AM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rayne58
I have seen Master in tears of pain.....I've seen Him in the hospital throwing up after a surgery.....I've seen Him struggle to even walk some days. It makes me love and respect Him more, because He goes through so much each day to just live.

I am sorry for you and your loved one's plight. Words can not do justice. My heart and prayers go out to you both.

Respectfully,

Ross

(in reply to Rayne58)

Post #: 89

RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/24/2007 4:51:29 AM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jauque
I would imagine anyone who takes satisfaction and pleasure from the control of another to be, in a way, vulnerable. You only want what you lack, and in the taking of control you satisfy that desire. I do not mean to say a Dom is not in control, but the desire for that control stems from something. I'm not quite sure how many would agree on that concept, but that's my thought.

I would agree with it for some.

I have had sessions with female submissive judges, lawyers, police. CEOs, teachers, city officials, and many roles of power and walks of life.

As women in this country become more empowered in social and political arenas the need and desire for something diametrically oposed is very real and very great.

I have noticed a surge of this nature in the last twenty years.

For your contribution here is your prize [insert pic here]
http://www.mjtbooks.com/harlequins/h017.jpg

Ross

(in reply to Jauque)

Post #: 90

RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/24/2007 4:56:09 AM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: maleslave07

I do not think it shows weakness but humanity as a whole. The only problem I could see is if I'm the one breaking down then I need the strength to hold onto to give me stability. If the Dominant party also breaks down at the same time then things are truely bad, for they are my strength. Yes the Dominant party is supposed to be the pillar, the foundation upon which things are built upon and held together, but as everybody knows foundations crack sometimes. But that does not mean the house comes falling down because of it. And even if the house comes falling down the true question becomes can they rebuild? Or does it crush them?

Yes one might count on the authoritiarian for guidance...but being pepple sometimes the hierarchy does not matter and if the relationship transcends the typical beat me make me cum sessions both individuals will show strength working as a team...if that is what they want.

One's happiness does not come from another but is maintained by the individual seeking it. you are responsible for your own happiness right?

Good insight...for your contribution here is your prize [insert pic here] http://www.mjtbooks.com/harlequins/h018.jpg

Ross

(in reply to maleslave07)

Post #: 91

RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/24/2007 5:06:15 AM

heartfeltsub

Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

i will agree that not everyone i meet belongs in my most trusted inner circle and no, i have never had anyone stalk me at work, however i have no idea how that relates to your previous statement about submissives only wanting a fantasy Dom who never shows any weakness and my disagreeing with that statement. To me the two thoughts have nothing to do with each other.

heartfelt

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 92

RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/24/2007 5:06:34 AM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

I don't agree Ross. Who wants a dom who is right ALL THE TIME or can't show a gentler side? OMG! Now that would be torture for me.

Sort of a very myopic approach in My opinion isn't it?

Very predictable and somewhat boring is it?

For your contribution here is your prize: [insert pic here] http://www.mjtbooks.com/harlequins/h031.jpg

Ross

(in reply to bandit25)

Post #: 93

RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/24/2007 5:10:06 AM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TxBlkMistress
I once had a boy tell me that it made him see me as less of a dom that I cried in front of him and that made me very angry. After talking it out he appologized and said that he realized he was trying to project the image of some "perfect ideal" dom onto me and that he'd much rather have me as a real person. I wish they all had the ability to think that way. I think it's interesting that the replies that support the way I feel have been from submissive women but I have yet to see a sub male say the same.

Interesting point.

So why is it you can not put yourself in another's shoes and perception?

For your contribution here is your prize: [insert pic here] http://www.mjtbooks.com/harlequins/h009.jpg

Ross

(in reply to TxBlkMistress)

Post #: 94

RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/24/2007 6:10:54 AM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: losttreasure
However, what I consider important is not that they display a full range of emotions, but exactly how they display them and how they deal with them. I've met far too many men (my personal preference for a dominant) who lack control and emotional maturity... and even some who have a bit too much control.

So does the dominant really give something to the submissive that they all ready did not have or is the path just a little clear in doing so?

We can not control what happens to us all the time but We can control how We react to it.

I decided this morning that the breakfast that all true dominants should eat and if they eat something else then they are simply not true dominants

Breakfast Casserole Recipe4 slices bread12 to 16 ounces sausage or bacon, cooked and drained2 cups shredded cheddar cheese6 eggs, beaten2 cups milk1 teaspoon dry mustard ( I used 1/2 teasp) Grease the bottom of a 9" x 13" pan. Tear up 4 slices of bread and place in the bottom of the pan. Sprinkle cooked, crumbled sausage or bacon over bread pieces. Sprinkle cheddar cheese over the sausage or bacon. Mix eggs, milk and mustard together; pour over casserole. Bake at 350 degrees for 35 to 40 minutesServes 4 to 6. NOTE: If you increase this recipe, remember to increase the baking time.
For you contribution here is your prize [insert pic here] http://www.mjtbooks.com/harlequins/h011.jpg

Ross

(in reply to losttreasure)

Post #: 95

RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/24/2007 6:28:44 AM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bearincuffs
Personally, i want my Master to have some emotions and express emotions. My Master has done so on the few ocassions and it had me feeling master is also Human even though i am His property.
i know that Master is Dominant and has shown this to me, so i don't believe that Master showing emotions makes Him seem "weak" or less than what He Is.

So what if he only expressed his emotions thru the disciplining of you via whipping? How would that make you feel?

For your contribution here is your prize: [insert pic here]
http://www.delphion.com/gallery

Ross

(in reply to bearincuffs)

Post #: 96

RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/24/2007 6:31:43 AM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists
These emotions and his ability to demonstrate them in a constructive, positive way demonstrates strength of character. They in no way detract from his authority or his sadism. In fact, the stronger his emotions become for us the more sadistic he is and the more he holds us accountable for our behaviors.

So the more he loves you the more he tortures you?

Do you find that there are times you wish he didn't love you so much?

For your contribution here is your prize [insert pic here] http://www.mjtbooks.com/harlequins/h002.jpg

Ross

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 97

RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/24/2007 6:34:27 AM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

people are people before they are their "roles" - How loving would it be to turn a cold shoulder?

What if a sub needed the cold role rather than the warm side?

What if they needed absolution thru discipline rather than a buddy?

For your contribution here is your prize { insert pic here] http://www.mjtbooks.com/harlequins/h025.jpg

Ross

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 98

RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/24/2007 6:35:19 AM

SCswitch

Posts: 7
Status: offline

I agree with Ross. A good flogging or a little bit of violent wand can really display emotions, and I am tired of subs crying about how their Masters and Mistresses should react to things.

Respectfully,

SC switch

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 99

RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 1/24/2007 6:36:32 AM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MaryT
Being honest and vulnerable takes courage. Besides, how could I hook-up emotionally to someone who shows no emotion? If you want someone with no feelings, look for a sociopath, not a Dom/me.

So where does that put pro doms and dommes?

I am sure not all of them offer emotional compassion do they?

For your contribution here is your prize [insert pic here] http://www.mjtbooks.com/harlequins/h027.jpg

Ross

(in reply to MaryT)

Post #: 100

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