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RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 2/12/2007 1:08:01 AM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGentSimilarly, expecting service to put the queen's butler to shame on a consistent basis is being unrealistic...........top, quality service 99.9% of the time will suffice.


And top quality service is defined as?

Ross

(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 141
RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 2/12/2007 1:52:24 AM   
fusion


Posts: 31
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		I have to say if you are a man, one who has faced danger and adversity all this wondering if good manners and showing love and affections lessens your domination.  A women can tell if you are dominant even if the first time they see  you, you are changing diapers.   I do the work to keep your warrior spirit strong have courage and honor.  The submission will come unbiden unforced.   Pure worship and awe, 

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what does not kill me, makes me stronger!

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
Profile   Post #: 142
RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 2/12/2007 2:47:41 AM   
goodpet


Posts: 458
Joined: 6/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: fusion
..... all this wondering if good manners and showing love and affections lessens your domination.  A women can tell if you are dominant even if the first time they see  you, you are changing diapers.   ..... 


So true,
affection, love, maners in no way weakens a Dominant's image in my book. i have more respect for a man with emotions then someone who does not trust me and my submission enough that they have to hide it from me.

(in reply to fusion)
Profile   Post #: 143
RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 2/14/2007 9:01:50 AM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fusion

I have to say if you are a man, one who has faced danger and adversity all this wondering if good manners and showing love and affections lessens your domination.  A women can tell if you are dominant even if the first time they see  you, you are changing diapers.   I do the work to keep your warrior spirit strong have courage and honor.  The submission will come unbiden unforced.   Pure worship and awe, 


Interesting insight.

So what of those that try to be politically correct in the adversity of the work force?

Ever notice there are the women that wish to be treated equally but do not mind having the door opened for them when it is convienient?

So how does one be polically correct and yet dominant?

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©

(in reply to fusion)
Profile   Post #: 144
RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 2/14/2007 9:05:10 AM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: goodpet
So true,affection, love, maners in no way weakens a Dominant's image in my book. i have more respect for a man with emotions then someone who does not trust me and my submission enough that they have to hide it from me.


So emotion equates trust to you rather than the image being more important?

Has there ever been a time where the image was more important to you than sincere communication?

So if the trust is not there how does a dominant challenge the reason not without becoming a threat?

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©


(in reply to goodpet)
Profile   Post #: 145
RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 2/16/2007 10:07:11 AM   
KnightofMists


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
To me the inability to manage and control emotions is a weakness...

Unfortunately.. many equate to managing and controlling emotions as not showing them.

I personally equate the inability to showing emotions as the inability to manage and control them.... therefore a weakness.

It takes strength to show emotions and control them.. rather than let them control you... be it Love.. Anger.. or Saddness etc.

So how do you manage to impart your impartiality and coolness to your submissives?

So do you equate empathy and compassion as signs of weakness within a dominant?

Is your approach more of a drill sargent at boot camp or do you just have a direct matter of fact approach to things?

Interesting comments.



I don't impart impartiality.. impossible since I am not impartial to them... they are mine.. and I have vested interest in them.  But one can be partial and still maintain objectivity.  I am also not cold to my girls... actually I am rather hot!

No empathy and compassion is not a weakness within a dominant... I kinda of think that anyone could use those character strengths.

I am direct in my approach on issues.  I get to the facts of the issues.. seperate what is feelings from the facts.  But seperating them doesn't mean they are ignored.  But one needs to understand what part of the issue is routed from emotionxs and what is more objective.  It's an skill and an art of balancing the emotions with the logical thought on an issue.

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
Profile   Post #: 146
RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 2/16/2007 10:10:01 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

Do you find that there are times you wish he didn't love you so much?



there are indeed times such as these... of course... there other things that balance this and make extremely happy that I love them so much.


_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
Profile   Post #: 147
RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 2/17/2007 12:48:18 AM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
I don't impart impartiality.. impossible since I am not impartial to them... they are mine.. and I have vested interest in them.  But one can be partial and still maintain objectivity.  It's an skill and an art of balancing the emotions with the logical thought on an issue.


Very true...there is a fine line that leads to the delicate balance of the elixer..just as with pleasure and pain one must contribute the experience that has become the art over time to the given results.

Being impartial would be difficult with someone you have invested so much time in and with.

Ross 
©º°¨¨°º©

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 148
RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 2/17/2007 1:09:54 PM   
dakotabo


Posts: 8
Joined: 2/13/2007
Status: offline 		Hello all, I am new here  and just a little shy about posting to this topic, I do however have a question..

Sirdiscipliner69 I saw over and over that you said that dominance needs no emotion. Why not?
Isn't domination in itself a kind of feeling or emotion, that you hold over one other then yourself.
Isn't it infact control, control over not only a sub, but also ones self, control over a given situation, control over all other emotions that may or may not come about at any given time, but especially during play?
How is it then that there need not be emotion in dominance?
Have a some how misunderstood what you have been trying to impart?

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
Profile   Post #: 149
RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 2/17/2007 1:52:23 PM   
degradess


Posts: 68
Joined: 7/15/2005
Status: offline 		I am looking for such a dom.  Someone who can be affectionate, caring and who can get close to me emotionally.  But at the same time I want a strong dom, who can be assertive and even extreme in the ways we like if we are together.  In order to have a real life with someone they have to be a whole  human being , not all closed in and unreachable.  I have run  into this in the past and it's not satisfiying to me.  The dom I see form time to time now is the pattern for what I truly want.  If it takes a long time of find that right one for a life together I will wait.

(in reply to OnlyHis)
Profile   Post #: 150
RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 2/22/2007 2:01:14 AM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: dakotabo

Hello all, I am new here  and just a little shy about posting to this topic, I do however have a question..

Welcome...please do feel free to express yourself regardless..

Sirdiscipliner69 I saw over and over that you said that dominance needs no emotion. Why not?

The act of domination can hold it's own with out emotion. Some percieve this lack of emotion just topping.


Isn't domination in itself a kind of feeling or emotion, that you hold over one other then yourself.

Yes it can be. One might order a hamburger...someone wants cheese on it...someone wants all toppings..some want you to hold the pickles. Differnt versions yet essentially still a hambuger right?
 
 

Isn't it infact control,

control over not only a sub,

A prision guard need not show emotion to guard a prisoner right?

but also ones self,

self -discipline


control over a given situation,

awareness and readiness

control over all other emotions that may or may not come about at any given time,

factual based

but especially during play?

Sometimes the sessions / handling / play do bring certain elements of the emotional physci that they may have not known were readily apparent yet need to be aware of possible outcome.
 
There is nothing worse than having a submissive break in a session from previous abuse or rape.
 


How is it then that there need not be emotion in dominance?

I am not saying there is no need...in fact I do prefer it...but it is possible..just not prefered...something can exist yet not be prefered...it has been demonstated here by the responses just how important emotional connections are needed.


Have a some how misunderstood what you have been trying to impart?

I am often misunderstood..I am really not bad...just drawn that way. ;)

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©
 


(in reply to dakotabo)
Profile   Post #: 151
RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 2/25/2007 11:13:15 AM   
subAlly05


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/14/2006
Status: offline 		yup, my vote is for a dominant showing emotion makes him more real to me. i wouldn't trust anyone who cliams to not have emotions.

I've encountered wonderful caring people in the past that had 'no emotions' and this only made me feel very lonely while I was around them because I do, and its apart of myself I can't share with them.

(in reply to OnlyHis)
Profile   Post #: 152
RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 2/25/2007 6:02:03 PM   
WhiplashSmile


Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline 		In terms of showing and expressing emotions, this is and can be a wonderul experience.  In terms of a Dom/me to open up and show they are really real.  Just because you show emotion does not make you any weaker. Should not detract from the role of being in control.  If anything, I believe it's good for a Dom/me to embrace emotions, so that they are attuned to both sides of their own ying/yang wheel.

I do not believe this is a sign of weakness at all.  If a Dom/me is so fearful of a sub/slave seeing their emotions, then that perhaps is more of weakness in itself. 







(in reply to DominaSmartass)
Profile   Post #: 153
RE: Dominants who show emotions, weakness, or vulnerabi... - 2/25/2007 6:04:21 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGentYes, there is strength of character at the core of a person and underlying leadership qualities, but there will be times when even the most organised and stable of doms is not on top form.

Yes but the key is not to let your submissive see the kinks in your armor right?

Ross


Why do I have to change who I am for my submissive?

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
Profile   Post #: 154
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