RE: Why is it so hard to find genuine sub females under 25?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Why is it so hard to find genuine sub females under 25?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Why is it so hard to find genuine sub females under 25?

Page: << < prev 4 5 [6] 7 8 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Why is it so hard to find genuine sub females under... - 1/19/2007 4:49:27 PM

kisshou

Posts: 2425
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline

The best place to find the kind of girl you are looking for is in the library. I am not joking here , find one near you that is open on Friday night and cruise the stacks. The next best time would be on a Saturday afternoon. Good luck , hope you find the girl of your dreams :)

(in reply to DemonSadist)

Post #: 101

RE: Why is it so hard to find genuine sub females under... - 1/20/2007 8:42:00 AM

Coupleseeking321

Posts: 43
Joined: 1/1/2007
Status: offline

I would disagree that all young subs are damaged in some way. I'm a perfectly healthy and self-confident woman.

I would advise that instead of lamenting the lack of submissive women in your preferred age range work on yourself. Develop interests and qualities that will make you attractive to women. Eventually you'll find what you're looking for.

(in reply to kisshou)

Post #: 102

RE: Why is it so hard to find genuine sub females under... - 1/20/2007 1:51:25 PM

bipolarber

Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline

What, exactly, is your definition of.... "genuine"?

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 103

RE: Why is it so hard to find genuine sub females under... - 1/21/2007 6:41:33 AM

gailcd

Posts: 48
Joined: 1/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DemonSadist

I'm 25 and have had this problem since I was 18 really. Websites are just totally full of fake pictures, it's a huge pain to trawl through scores of profiles to find one that's real let alone one your compatible with. I'm sure there's more under 25 women who like to submit than to dominate in general, but withtin the bdsm community there sure does seem to be a lack.

Any clues from people more experienced in the community?

Why do subs exist? Theory :-(often) sub men can't get their dick up so offer submission instead; (often) sub women are unattractive so offer submission instead.

Young women under the age of 25 are a) more attractive to normal men b) still believe strongly they will get Mr Right and the perfect marriage. So ... what would they be doing here looking for you?

I would also say do not go looking for under 25 subs. they may be sub because they are damaged but they may yet still be young enough to break free.

(in reply to DemonSadist)

Post #: 104

RE: Why is it so hard to find genuine sub females under... - 1/21/2007 9:36:36 PM

obis

Posts: 412
Joined: 9/9/2005
From: Austin, TX, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gailcd
Why do subs exist? Theory :-(often) sub men can't get their dick up so offer submission instead; (often) sub women are unattractive so offer submission instead.

Young women under the age of 25 are a) more attractive to normal men b) still believe strongly they will get Mr Right and the perfect marriage. So ... what would they be doing here looking for you?

I would also say do not go looking for under 25 subs. they may be sub because they are damaged but they may yet still be young enough to break free.

That's one of the most depressing posts I've ever read on here :)

(in reply to gailcd)

Post #: 105

RE: Why is it so hard to find genuine sub females under... - 1/21/2007 9:52:07 PM

curiouspet55

Posts: 133
Joined: 10/13/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline

Well, I know I won't really help you out as, like others, I find your profile scary...I'm not that much of a masochist. But, I'm 18, almost 19 - obviously under 25...And I like to think I'm real. Sometimes, maybe too real. Fake is easier. We're out here, but usually tend to be more questioning, curious, shy, and hoping to be contacted rather than have to contact.

(in reply to DemonSadist)

Post #: 106

RE: Why is it so hard to find genuine sub females under... - 1/27/2007 11:37:34 AM

lapresence

Posts: 94
Joined: 1/24/2007
Status: offline

Well, I might have something to add, even though I'm of the ripe old age of 26.

I think, if I try hard enough, I can remember those days.

Now I haven't read every response, but I'm gonna tell you what I feel people have been circling but not hitting on the head. It's also a matter of personal safety and experience (at least it was for me). I tried seeing younger men (they are cuter - generally and I'll admit to being a little superfical), but I got myself into more than a spot of trouble just because I didn't know myself well enough, and they weren't experienced enough, to read me to know I was having trouble. So I gravitated towards older Doms (and they could be as bumbling as the younger - so it still comes to experience). Which at your age, you just can't have as much as someone older might have.

Something I would suggest considering is stressing you want to learn as well, under the instruction of a more experienced Dom, if that is at all possible in your area. That can work very nicely and overcome an objection to level of experience. Not to mention, this mentoring can do wonders for you personally and as a young couple learning.

I agree with amlonging, words are very powerful, and because you lack experience, you have to reach them some other way. I could probably write a book. But don't worry, I won't.

Good luck.

(in reply to amlonging)

Post #: 107

RE: Why is it so hard to find genuine sub females under... - 1/27/2007 2:42:28 PM

BlindUnknown

Posts: 66
Joined: 1/8/2007
Status: offline

The reason stems, most likely, from the fact that a human brain is not fully developed until the ages between 23-26, most especially the decision-making aspects. At 20, i still have a lot of growing up to do metally and emotionally. But, i am naturally sub so as for myself, i doubt this will go away. i'm just emphasizing the point, i'm sure it's been made already ^_^

_____________________________

Remember...the Dominant has power -in- the relationship, the sub has power -over- it.
Kioku shta ka?
"If Light and Darkness are eternal, than surely Nothings must be the same!"

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 108

RE: Why is it so hard to find genuine sub females under... - 1/27/2007 4:31:28 PM

TreSwank

Posts: 1165
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DemonSadist

I'm 25 and have had this problem since I was 18 really. Websites are just totally full of fake pictures, it's a huge pain to trawl through scores of profiles to find one that's real let alone one your compatible with. I'm sure there's more under 25 women who like to submit than to dominate in general, but withtin the bdsm community there sure does seem to be a lack.

Any clues from people more experienced in the community?

I've only met one CollarMe member in real-life, and that something that I'd rather forget. I think that it's better to just try out a munch or two than to expect miracles to come from the information superhighway. Thank God that I live within two hours of NYC, because, despite the prevalence of decent Conn. pics, the pickin's are much slimmer than they seem.

(in reply to DemonSadist)

Post #: 109

RE: Why is it so hard to find genuine sub females under... - 1/27/2007 4:33:55 PM

lovingcouple17

Posts: 12
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline

when i was looking for a Dom (at age 50) and Dom's under the age of 30 would message me...it was always "oh, i love older women"...which is such a turn off for me...because what they really meant was they wanted me to "teach" them everything there is to know about BDSM....however, i did once have a nice conversation with a 25 year old Dom who was very respectful to me..and was genuinely interested in me and why i was submissive....so...be careful of how you approach "older" women or men, for that fact...and if you are greeting they by saying " sup, how u?" then don't expect a reply... :) or my favorite greeting was "on your knees bitch"...so avoid that one also. :) :) :)

sebrina{L}

_____________________________

Only in a collar can a woman be free.

(in reply to DemonSadist)

Post #: 110

RE: Why is it so hard to find genuine sub females under... - 1/31/2007 2:16:35 PM

LDRandAstarte

Posts: 504
Joined: 12/31/2005
Status: offline

(using fast reply)

I have to agree with the earlier post that says, basicly, women that young, or people that young, do not really even know what it is that they want or expect out of a relationship yet. Let alone what they would want or expect out of a relationship that is outside the "norm" for which they have been prepared most of thier lives.

They get a whif of this strange, exotic, and yes erotic, lifestyle and in thier youthfull zeal, dive head first into unknown waters. Very quickly they realize that these fantasies they are playing with, are realities for those they are talking to and to most of them it is a cold slap in the face.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 111

RE: Why is it so hard to find genuine sub females under... - 1/31/2007 2:21:14 PM

LadyOunce

Posts: 126
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline

I think everything else aside, I think it may well be that with age comes many things - including the ability to truly understand what submission means. I would think that many fresh out of their parent's household would seek a more daddy relationship to mirror that control with which they are familiar.

_____________________________

Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it. -Jackson

Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts. -Einstein

Do not consider painful what is good for you. -Medea

(in reply to DemonSadist)

Post #: 112

RE: Why is it so hard to find genuine sub females under... - 1/31/2007 2:25:12 PM

LDRandAstarte

Posts: 504
Joined: 12/31/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TreSwank
I've only met one CollarMe member in real-life, and that something that I'd rather forget. I think that it's better to just try out a munch or two than to expect miracles to come from the information superhighway. Thank God that I live within two hours of NYC, because, despite the prevalence of decent Conn. pics, the pickin's are much slimmer than they seem.

And your odds at a munch are better how?

I met My wench astarte on the information superhighway, and she is now My wife as well as My partner in Kink as Mistress Astarte in Our search for kinky play toys to share. We have gone to munchs and play parties in several local and moderately far flung communities and personally, I would rather have someone dance on My nuts in a pair of golf shoes then attempt to hook up with anyone We have met at any of those functions!

(in reply to TreSwank)

Post #: 113

RE: Why is it so hard to find genuine sub females under... - 1/31/2007 4:11:34 PM

Reflectivesoul

Posts: 1777
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline

From my experience when I was new to the scene ( I found D/s and was involved with it whe I was 16 but never entered into the big scene till I was 18 ) I was slammed badly due to being young, it was really hard to find anyone that would answer questions or even be friendly. It was a major put off. It took me several years of being persistant and being the in your face kind of person before anyone looked at me as being "real".

I would have to echo a lot of the posters and say that what is lacking is experience. Think about it, if at 26 I were to decide to switch to submission and hand my life over to someone else ( and in this case I am talking very long term here ) and give up my goals and depend on this person for support and to care for me, wouldnt it be more realistic to seek someone who has been around a while and that is stable in His life? For me personally I have always dated out of my age range, 1.) younger men always end up boring me to death, 2.) some of the younger doms I have met are only in it for the thrills and have no concept of what it is like to live on their own, provide for someone else, or the necessary emotional strength to do all of these things and still be able to help with the emotional growth and wellbeing of another person. 3.) the Doms that I am friends with are usually much much older than myself because it is all about comfort levels, I have seen a lot in my life ( granted its only 25 yrs but I've been through the wringer more than a few times) and I want and need to know if I am connected to someone ( even in just a friendship) that if I am having a day where I need support that I can depend on that person to be there and be able to help, that rarely if ever has happened with males in general that are younger.

I am not saying that there arent exceptions to the rules and that mature young men dont exist but I dont think that it happens very often. Also older men have a focus more on what they enjoy, what the finer things in life are, they know the value of a relationship, can hold a conversation for hours and debate many things, and in general have a whole lot more to offer. ( sorry OP I know thats probably not a whole lot of encouraging help)

_____________________________

ooooo..I bet THATS gonna leave a mark!!!!

Equal opportunity pisser on-er ... heh..

Gimme some crayons, I want color and I want it now DAMNIT!

(in reply to LDRandAstarte)

Post #: 114

RE: Why is it so hard to find genuine sub females under... - 1/31/2007 4:51:35 PM

GeekyGirl

Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline

I'm almost 24, and while I've only been seriously involved for about 2 years, I've been experimenting since before I was of legal age.

I consider myself to be extremely genuine and serious about my submissive nature.

Part of why you don't see us around much is because older Lifestyler's don't take us seriously sometimes, and we feel uncomfortable about our young age. The two times I went to a munch, I felt VERY uncomfortable, as all the people there were 40+ and looking at me like "What's this 'kid' doing here?"

(in reply to DemonSadist)

Post #: 115

RE: Why is it so hard to find genuine sub females under... - 2/15/2007 2:54:32 PM

SATANMAN

Posts: 72
Joined: 2/8/2006
Status: offline

actually a lot of the young ones wants to feel safe, whichis ok but dont hide behind it

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 116

RE: Why is it so hard to find genuine sub females under... - 2/17/2007 2:08:00 AM

mons

Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

greetings

unlike you anyone under 25 is not ready for this type of lifestyle their just too young. you are different to lucky too know you own self but many younger people are out paryting and dancing they are not thinking of this or may not even know of this lifestyle we lead. you may need to look for someone under 30 but not under 25. there are some but it will be hard to find them and how far under 25 are you speaking of this may be the problem if you looking for someone 18 and up that is the major problem i do wish you luck but go for what is near not what is not something you can gain . your a dominant i see. i wish you luck and take care

mons

(in reply to DemonSadist)

Post #: 117

RE: Why is it so hard to find genuine sub females under... - 2/17/2007 8:02:20 AM

Magdalena156

Posts: 99
Joined: 2/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DemonSadist

I'm 25 and have had this problem since I was 18 really. Websites are just totally full of fake pictures, it's a huge pain to trawl through scores of profiles to find one that's real let alone one your compatible with. I'm sure there's more under 25 women who like to submit than to dominate in general, but withtin the bdsm community there sure does seem to be a lack.

Any clues from people more experienced in the community?

Can I be honest? And please don't take offense?

Most people of that age range are often too young to know what they want and have a reasonable life experience. You're talking about subs who are still of college age trying to figure out what their major is and what they want in life. What makes you think there would be a surplus of subs in that age range, female or not, who have it together?

Please also note that I'm saying most and not all. I know that there are really capable subs out there in that age group and it all comes down to different life experiences. But for most, they most likely aren't ready. Heck when I was in college I was just starting to realize that I was bi--a fact that I didn't fully accept until I was all of 26 years old. Imagine dealing with other subs who aren't fully comfortable with their sexuality; do you think that they'd go online and start looking for Doms? Hardly!

-m

_____________________________

Lux et umbra vicissim, sed semper amor.

(in reply to DemonSadist)

Post #: 118

RE: Why is it so hard to find genuine sub females under... - 2/17/2007 8:06:45 AM

Magdalena156

Posts: 99
Joined: 2/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mons
unlike you anyone under 25 is not ready for this type of lifestyle their just too young. you are different to lucky too know you own self but many younger people are out paryting and dancing they are not thinking of this or may not even know of this lifestyle we lead. you may need to look for someone under 30 but not under 25. there are some but it will be hard to find them and how far under 25 are you speaking of this may be the problem if you looking for someone 18 and up that is the major problem i do wish you luck but go for what is near not what is not something you can gain . your a dominant i see. i wish you luck and take care

I won't date under 25 for that reason. When I try to explain this to the 22 and 23 year olds who are interested in me, I point out that it goes beyond the fact that I am six or seven years their senior; it's the fact that as a woman with a career and a home I don't have a whole lot in common with someone of college age. I want an equal playing field at the very least, and if I'm looking for a Dom that's EXTREMELY important.

There's a world of difference between someone in their lower 20s and someone in their upper 20s for that very reason. It's not even just maturity; it's where you're at in your life. And honestly, why people in their early 20s are in such a rush to "prove" themselves I'll never know. Enjoy your youth, date around, and have fun. When you get to be around my age you'll see what I'm saying and you'll be glad that you enjoyed yourself while you could.

I am personally determined that I will never grow up.

Age ain't nothing but a number. It's all life experiences and statistics.

-m

_____________________________

Lux et umbra vicissim, sed semper amor.

(in reply to mons)

Post #: 119

RE: Why is it so hard to find genuine sub females under... - 2/17/2007 8:09:05 AM

Magdalena156

Posts: 99
Joined: 2/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Coupleseeking321

I would disagree that all young subs are damaged in some way. I'm a perfectly healthy and self-confident woman.

I would advise that instead of lamenting the lack of submissive women in your preferred age range work on yourself. Develop interests and qualities that will make you attractive to women. Eventually you'll find what you're looking for.

Also agreed. I started to realize that I was a sub around the age of 19 or so, but didn't fully explore it until I was out of college and more comfortable with myself.

Life experiences are valuable for shaping us and making us really understand what we truly want. And often enough, we don't know. Heck there are people in their 40s and 50s who still don't know. Fact remains that you gotta get an effort going to get out there and live your life in a way that you can find out--safely and mindfully so that you do not make such awful mistakes that you are scarred from them for a long time.

I speak from experience on that one, sadly. So take your time. Just my $0.02.

-m

_____________________________

Lux et umbra vicissim, sed semper amor.

(in reply to Coupleseeking321)

Post #: 120

Page: << < prev 4 5 [6] 7 8 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Why is it so hard to find genuine sub females under 25?

Page: << < prev 4 5 [6] 7 8 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109